Saturday, 20 November 2010

Thinking Outside The Blog.

When I purchased my fridge, yes the, 'The Talking Fridge.', I never took into consideration the dimensions of the freezer.  This meant, much to my horror, that I couldn't fit in large frozen pizzas.
So whilst frantically trying to shove a large pizza into the freezer, my son came to the rescue.  'Dad, why don't you take the pizza out of the box and keep the instructions off to one side?'  'What a great idea, I replied.  'Tristan, that really is 'thinking outside the box'!'  Good grief.

Here is the pizza box.  Note the wayward stuffed hedgehog poised proudly perhaps pondering pleasingly pleasurable pepperoni pizza.

The following is a sporting question posed by a North American to a British person.  The North American says, ' When you say 'football', do you mean football as in football football?  Or, do you mean football as in soccer football football?'
In England, there are some football (soccer) teams with names that confuse me.  Names, for example, like, 'Man City' and 'Man United'.  I am not aware of any teams named, 'Woman City', or, 'Woman United'.  Then there is 'Scunthorpe United'.  No, I'm not going to suggest something silly like you spell out 'Scunthorpe', letter by letter.
In Italy, they play football, as in soccer football football.  In North America, they have a league named 'Major League Soccer', as in soccer football football.  In Italy, there is a team named, 'A.C. Milan'.  In Major League Soccer, there is a team named, 'D.C. United'.   If A.C. Milan played D.C. United, would the atmosphere be 'electric'?
Yes I know.  This posting is clear indication, as they say in Britain, that I've 'misplaced the allotment', or, as you might state, I've 'lost the plot'.
So I went for a meal with a beautiful lady wearing a low cut dress. And, before you ask, it was her wearing the low cut dress.  Being such a gentleman, I did my utmost to maintain eye contact.  'Excuse me!', she exclaimed.  'My breasts are down here!'   Then I woke up......


  1. OMG, just when I think you've done enough damage to my brain for one day -- LOL, you wreck more havoc. I'm now suffering from snow blindness and low-boob syndrome. Thanks, Gary. You're a gift. It's also scary how your brain works.

  2. Very clever, and we have the same problem - with the fridge I mean. My friend in Atlanta keeps asking me if I've seen our garden hedgehog lately. Unfortunately they keep their heads down most of the time, so I shall point her in the direction of your blog.

  3. LOL! I love the thinking outside the box! Bravo to your son!!

    Tres funny dream. :)

  4. My fridge doesn't talk to me. She (I call her Tracy) just lets stuff go off and then cries melted ice when I scream at her to stop it!

    I'm obliged to be a Spurs supporter because my brother is and I used to live in Nam. Tottenham.

    I've never really looked at Scunthorpe in that way but now I do. LOL!!

    Take care (and hello there lovely Penny!!).

  5. Gary, have you vandalised your fridge just for this post?
    There is an element of 'I don't know what to blog about' in this post. (Look, no exclamation).
    Still very entertaining though.

  6. Hi Joylene,
    You think it's scary how my brain works? Well, thanks for thinking it's a 'gift'. I'm just wondering if I can take it back for a 'refund' lol.
    I do hope your weather is not too harsh.
    All the breast, Gary :-)

  7. Hi Carole,
    If only I thought to check out the dimensions in my freezer. It just never occurred to me. My son is so clever. Takes after his mother. Can't believe I said that. lol
    I'm very lucky to have a 'hedgehog' visit us, and in the kitchen, no less. I hope your friend in Atlanta marvels at the sight of a hedgehog posing out the top of a pizza box.
    Thanks Carole and take good care.
    Kind wishes, Gary:-)

  8. Hi Pk Hrezo,
    Nothing like a bit of thinking outside the box.
    My son, one clever dude!
    Alas, but a dream. Never mind lol
    With respect and good wishes, Gary:-)

  9. Hi there Old Kitty,
    I'm surprised that your fridge doesn't talk. We had a fascinating discussion about it in a previous blog that was linked into this posting. Stop the self-promoting, Gary! lol Anyhow, icy what you mean in regards to your fridge. Cool or not so cool...
    I used to live in Chelsea and ummm...yikes:-)
    Oh Penny says 'hello' or 'arf, arf' back to you, Charley and a fridge named Tracy.
    Enjoy your weekend.
    Kind wishes and a brochure of Scunthorpe, your way, Gary:-)

  10. Gary - you continually crack me up with your puns!! And I had a question - we "Yanks" refer to "your" football as "soccer" - but what do you (Canadian transplant Brits - LOL) call "our" football? Do you just say that wanker "American Football" (since you don't have a word like soccer to replace it)? tee hee hee! Hope you're having a super groovy weekend!

  11. Hi bazza,
    Me vandalise a fridge? My good sir, actually I 'vandalised' my own fridge, on that previous post. The post called 'The Talking Fridge'. There is a link that leads to that posting by clicking on the words, 'The Talking Fridge'. (Blatant self-promotion alert).
    I recall your comment on that posting and I quote, "After reading this I went to listen to my fridge and I could swear I heard a voice singing 'Freezer jolly good fellow'!" And so say all of ice...
    I always have something to blog about because I can blog about having nothing to blog about which means that my making out I have nothing to blog about I actually have something to blog about. Or something like that. Granted this was a hodge podge of disjointed musings. No change, there then.
    Goodnight bazza! Doh!

  12. Hi Michelle,
    Well, the British call your 'football', 'American Football'. I tell them about, 'Canadian Football', you know the Canadian Football League, the CFL and I get these blank looks. You've heard of the CFL? which is Canada's version of 'Gridiron', but way more exciting than the NFL. Well, I would say that. Wouldn't I? lol eh
    Nice to see that fine British word 'wanker' is being used in the Colonies. Wanker and 'wank' have several different meanings which I better not go into detail about. Must go for a wank. Bye and y'all have a super duper weekend. Yee haa n'stuff, Gary :-)

  13. '...poised proudly perhaps pondering pleasingly pleasurable pepperoni pizza.' That's a lot of p's. Are those the only vegetables you have? Ha ho ha. I'll be here all week, folks. Bu-dum-dum.

    Trying to keep up with the PunMaster and failing. :(

    Yeah, it is funny how words in one place will mean something different elsewhere. Slang in one place is different elsewhere, too. In Australia, even though they speak English, it almost sounds like they have a separate language, at times. Depends on who's hearing it. Same goes for Americans... Same goes for other English speaking countries. A heavy accent can make it harder to understand, too.

    It's astute of you to point all of this out. And by astute, I mean "bird's nest". lol. Don't know what I'm laughing at.

  14. I’ve been very careful today, to read your words more carefully (without my eyes going in and out of focus), so I could comment intelligently. Unfortunately I know nothing about football of any variety.

    Talking fridge/freezers though, now they’re a different matter. Mine’s constantly nagging me to defrost it. First I have to try to remove all the pizzas in boxes that are wedged in there.
    The enigmatic, masked blogger

  15. Wow Gary! You really make me LMAO! And, your first post on the talking fridge left me needing an ice pack when I hit my head after falling over in laughter. As for your random dream sequence, I think your silly talking refrigerator was trying to tell you something. Perhaps along the lines of, "though I may be frigid most of the time, I'm warming up to you". After all, she does have an automatic defrost feature, and you mentioned that she moans. On that very silly note, I must skedaddle. As they say on all football fields....I get a kick out of you!

  16. Howdy doody Kelly,
    Are you taking the 'p'? lol Oh my pod, lettuce think about this cos you really like to yam home your point. Peas release me...bean there, done that....
    Australians speak English? Well g'day mate.
    Did you know that 'fanny' in Britain means...forget it, but it did cause me some confusion:-) Huh?
    Anyway, I'm struggling to understand y'all, what with you typing in your lil' ol' 'Merican accent:-)
    Astute? Yes sir, I'm one shrewd dude. And 'bird's nest' is 'Cockney rhyming slang' for 'chest', or are you referring to a small willie? I have no idea what I'm talking about.
    Laughs and confusion, your way, Gary:-) eh....

  17. Hahaha, I love your blog post when you go off the plot and the title of this entry is very catchy. I wonder did Tristan laugh when you made the statement about his thinking being outside of the box.

    I don't particularly mind you wearing a cute low cut dress Gary. As a matter of fact, you can wear it any day. HEHEHE.

    I hope you're having a nice time where you are and keep smiling.


  18. Hiya 'Masked Friend',
    Hey, don't worry about the confusion my last posting may have caused. I reckon some folks would probably like me to stop publishing my rubbish, or, if one prefers, my garbage.
    I know a great deal about 'football' and 'soccer football football'. I've always been a bit bewildered by the idea of some guy wanting to 'dink' the goalie:-)
    I used to have a 'frost free fridge' that constantly needed defrosting. It kept singing 'freeze release me..'
    Good luck getting those pizza boxes back out of your freezer. I think my son's idea of taking the large pizza out of the even larger box, was a very cool idea.
    I hope you've had a peaceful weekend.
    Kind wishes and ice cubes, your way, Gary:-)

  19. Hi Rebecca,
    Awe thanks. That was very ice of you to say. Then again, ice wouldn't what to think of you falling down and hitting your head:-) Freeze forgive me.
    I think you might be on to something with my 'talking' fridge.
    Perhaps she was telling me to stop staring at her ice (eyes? ass?)and check out her 'chest' freezer. lol
    Thank you for your 'fridge of sighs' analogy. You are da bestest.
    And speaking of 'football', I'm a 'soccer' for your kind, funny and very clever comments. Seriously, it is very much appreciated.
    I do hope you have been having a peaceful and positive weekend.
    Kind wishes, a hedgehog and a pizza box, your way, Gary:-)

  20. Hi Shanaz,
    Thanks. 'Off the plot', or 'lost the plot', seems to be the story of my life. lol
    Tristan let out a groan and yelled 'wahay!' I responded with 'Boom, boom!' That's true.
    I thought someone might have noted the sentence structure and could have interpreted it meaning I was wearing a low cut dress. Of course, I quite enjoy wearing a low cut dress, stockings, suspenders and pink stilettos. Can you keep that a secret, Shanaz? :-)
    I hope you are having a wonderful Sunday. I'm have a nice time where I am. I'm sitting in my living room, typing this and listening to 'Groove Armada'. Ouch! Bloody pink stilettos are way too tight! lol
    Kind wishes and a pesky stuffed hedgehog, your way, Gary :-)

  21. Hi Gary,
    A very amusing posting yet again, but here`s another one for you..
    Rugby players are called `footballers` and as far as footballer footballers, they are just a waste of time (in my opinion, play a proper game!)
    Follow me at HEDGELAND TALES

  22. a talking fridge, extra large pizza box and a lady wanting you to look her clevage what a funny man you are. Your world is the total tits
    cheers and regards

  23. I always 'yam home my point'. It feelsss soooo good. Hee ho ha heh and lastly, meh. Cockney rhyming slang? Is that some sort of noodle?


  24. Hi John,
    Thanks for considering this posting amusing.
    Good point about rugby players. I believe one position is called a 'hooker' and they evidently 'hook' the ball:-)
    Gotta' agree about the 'footballer footballers'. Amazing the kind of money you can get paid for kicking a ball all over the pitch:-)
    Have a peaceful and positive week, John.
    Kind wishes, Gary.

  25. Hi kerrie,
    Some might think I'm zany, bordering on the lunatic fringe. Yet, my fridge really 'talks' and I really did have an extra large pizza box, complete with a bewildered hedgehog poking its head out of the top of said pizza box:-)
    And the breast, sorry, the rest, sadly, was just a dream.
    Have a lovely week, kerrie.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)

  26. Yikes Kelly! Are you okay? Want to tell 'Doctor Gary' about it? Have you been rubbing jello on your todger, or something eh? lol
    I almost pasta you by on your question in regards to Cockney rhyming slang being a noodle. Well of course it is. How's your noodle, poodle? Confused? I know I am:-)
    Behold! My ridiculous response...
    C U m8

  27. Wow! That takes me back down memory lane, Gary. I seem to recall having much the same problem with our last fridge/freezer...a very nice state-of-the-art side-by-side job, but boy were those compartments narrow!

    And you touched on something that has always mystified me. Why do Americans insist on calling their game "football" when (a) the Brits had the name first and (b) American football is not played with the feet?

  28. Just caught up on the last few posts here. Great blog!! =)

  29. Dont get me started on UK soccer ( or football, as they insist on calling it) Its so so SO confusing :-Z

    Love the fridge, gosh you cant beat good kitchen appliances, worth their weight in gold!

  30. I have the same refrigerator! But mine doesn't talk or look so mean.

  31. Hi Ian,
    Aha, 'memory lane'. Now if only I could remember where it was? lol
    I thought you might be able to relate to those narrow compartments. My previous fridge, about the same size, however, had no trouble with an extra large pizza box. So, silly me, just assumed my latest fridge would be about the same.
    It is a mystery as to why it's called 'football'. Although Ian, you probably realise that the Canadian Football League (gridiron) is just as guilty as the American game. They do 'punt' the ball and 'kick' field goals. So the foot is used a little bit.
    Cheers Ian and I hope you manage to stay warm.
    Kind regards, Gary.

  32. Hi LilPixi,
    That is very kind of you to check out my last few posts. I must come over and leave a comment on your very clever and funny blog.
    And, the 'wee folks', say 'hello'
    Take good care.
    Kind wishes, Gary.

  33. Hi ruairi
    It sure can be confusing. However, I do know how the word 'soccer' came into being. The word 'soccer' comes from an alteration of 'assoc.', which is an
    abbreviation of "association football". Huh? :-)
    It has been a good fridge, so far. I suppose, in this case, it's worth its weight in 'silver'.
    Have a good week and those photos and the corresponding words, about New York city, on your blog, were superb. Well done.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)


  34. Hello Samantha,
    Ah, so then you can relate to the freezer storage size:-)
    I thought my fridge had a nice smiley face. And, are you sure your fridge doesn't 'talk'? Maybe just, un petit français? lol
    Thanks Samantha.
    Kind wishes, Gary.

  35. hi mr gary! i like that talking fridge. ours just grunt and groans and sometimes gurgles. ha ha. you got me laughing on that ac dc soccer football football stuff. ha ha. watch out for that hedgehog cause for sure they could like pizza.
    ...hugs from lenny

  36. Gary, you always make me laugh! I had a refrigerator like that one. Nothing fit in the freezer, but it sure looked good! And was the dinner with the woman in the low cut dress really? :)

  37. "....poised proudly perhaps pondering pleasingly pleasurable pepperoni pizza."

    Too freakin' funny, Gary.

    Ever put one of those frozen suckers in the oven & forget to remove the friggin' wrapper?

    I'm not allowed in the kitchen.

    Hadda good laugh - Good post.

  38. Hi Gary, you know why I'm most of the time late in commenting? Because grandpas walk slowly, remember? Esp when they misplace the walking stick!

    Thanks for coming by to The Farm, so I can enjoy yours in return.

    Never mind the name, I thoroughly enjoy English football

  39. haha, I love the ending bit.

    I'm a football fan (the brit kind), and I don't get why American Football is called Football...I mean, there not exactly alot of interaction with a players feet.

    your sun is a genius to be. College roomates will love him forever.

  40. i regret not reading your blog for the past week I've been following you,,,!!

    haha i haven't get that labrador i wanted, if you remember me and if you know what i mean..


    anyway,, i never been in for a football..i don't actually understand anything about it..

    only how my step-father actually cheer last night for the san diego.. that's my best experience of it..

  41. Dear Gary,
    Another rambling, weird and wonderful post from your good self.
    Of course, everyone knows that the real name for soccer is "football", only the Americnas stole the name from us for that terrible "gridiron" game. After all, one does play soccer (football) with one's feet, whereas the other type seems to involve rather a lot of hand activity.
    As for your talking fridge, I can only refer you on to your GP or psychiatrist for further comment!
    With Very Best Wishes,

  42. Hey Lenny!
    I bet your fridge grunts, groans and gurgles in an American accent lol
    Someone mentioned to be that if DC United beat AC Milan, would it be a 'shock' result! Ha, ha :-)
    Hmmm...I was wondering who had nibbled on my pizza. Where is that hedgehog? lol
    Thanks Lenny.
    Hugs and smiles, Mr. Gary :-)

  43. Hi Cher,
    I'm really glad I can make you laugh.
    Oh well, I guess, despite the fact nothing fits in the freezer, the fridge is really nice to stare at and to listen too:-)
    The meal with the lady in the low cut dress was an uplifting experience.
    Have a peaceful day and thanks Cher.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)

  44. Hi JaxPop,
    Hey, thanks for that. Nothing like a bit of alliteration:-) Your comment completely confirmed crazy capers can cause calamity.
    Yes, I've done that! I wondered why the cheese and toppings tasted kinda' funny and stuck to the roof of my mouth. lol That's a wrap.
    Have a peaceful and pleasant day.
    In kindness, Gary :-)

  45. Hi Grandpa,
    I greatly appreciate that you had a nice casual walk over here. I recall a 'shepherd' telling me he couldn't find a decent stick. 'Just can't get the 'staff' these days'.
    Your farm is really neat. I consider your life to be most fascinating and I shall return for another visit to your very interesting and informative farm site.
    I like English football. Not quite as much recently, however. I'm a supporter of Chelsea. Yikes! :-)
    Take very good care.
    In kindness and respect, Gary.

  46. Hi Alpha Za,
    Thanks for that. It was a shame it had to end:-)
    It's a bit of a mystery why Americans and Canadians call 'gridiron', 'football'. Although, in some of the more boring games, the 'foot' is used quite a lot. Punting the ball on third down, in Canada, and fourth down, in America. And of course, there is the field goal.
    My son is a pretty clever dude and yes indeed, he would be considered a genius amongst college room mates.
    Take good care and thanks again.
    Kind wishes, your way, Gary:-)

  47. Hi Kamila,
    I thank you for dropping by and commenting on this blog. It is very much appreciated.
    And I do remember you wanting to a adopt a Labrador. I'm sorry that has not happened. I suppose, at the very least, you have an award with my dog, Penny posing in a gold frame:-)
    Sometimes, I wish I knew less about 'football', either type of the game. I get all sad when a team I support, loses.
    I'm assuming that would be the San Diego Chargers...
    Have a peaceful and positive day.
    Kind wishes, your way, Gary:-)

  48. Dear David,
    Another posting bordering on being rather disjointed and nonsensical. So, pretty 'normal' for me.
    David, it was the Americans and the Canadians, who 'stole' the name and then had the audacity to call real football, 'soccer'. Then again, I did go to the last ever 'Soccer Bowl' match that was played in Vancouver...And 'hand activity'...ummm..don't go there, Gary:-)
    I recall what you said on the blog about 'The Talking Fridge'.
    "Mmmm, a talking fridge, eh.
    Gary, dear friend, I suggest you do put that ice pack on your head to cool those over-active neurons of yours.
    Just don't take things too far and try and have sex with said domestic appliance. It'll only end in tears when it tells you that it's frigid! Ha f****** ha!"
    Anyway, I've no doubt that my GP or my 'psychiatrist', would no doubt tell me all about the 'talking' that came from their fridges.
    How cool is that?
    All the very best, David. Shall talk to you soon.
    Kind wishes and an extra large pizza box, your way, Gary.

  49. Oh my.. it took me awhile to catch on that frozen foods in big boxes just would not fit in my freezer.. I thought, "well if I buy another brand (yeah, I know) it will fit".. Not the case...

    What a nice, upbeat post here...great reading!!!!

  50. Hi Lynne,
    Thanks for commenting. That is very kind of you. Thank you for considering it upbeat.
    My last fridge had a freezer that could fit in large pizza boxes etc.
    I had just assumed that a similar sized fridge would have a similar sized freezer. I guess I've learned to research things a bit better.
    Still, taking the pizza out of the box, which is wastefully oversized, anyway, did the trick. I'm grateful to my son's logical thinking:-)
    Just wanted to let you know how much I admire your writing, Lynne.
    Take very good care of yourself.
    In peace and good wishes, Gary.


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.