Tuesday 31 December 2013

Four-Poster Roller Coaster.

I've spent a good portion of the last few days in bed.  Yep, Boxing Day became more like "Bedding Day."

My doctor told me to stay out of bed because I wasn't getting enough rest.  Ah, those were the days.

For the last few days I've been mostly bedridden.  Ah, those were the days, bed riding....

Feels rather like the flu.  I've had a flu shot.  Now I wonder if a flu shot was literal and it gave me the flu. What next?  Take a headache pill to get a headache?

My former spouse and I purchased a real fancy four-poster bed from a real fancy bed shop in Richmond, British Columbia, many years ago.  We were lying in bed and realised that the mattress had crashed to the floor.  Before your imagination goes places, I shall let you know that the underneath support for the mattress had bent and thus, the mattress caved onto the floor.  A bit of a four-poster roller coaster ride ensued over the next week or so. Slap mattress back in place.  Flop.  Slap mattress back in place.  Flop and thud....

Having unsuccessfully been able to fix the underneath support, we went back to the real fancy bed shop and complained.  The sales dude said to us, "What were you doing?  Diving onto the bed from your wardrobe?" I thought, "How the hell does he know we have a wardrobe?"  My wife replied to him, "No way!  The metal support thingy to keep the mattress off the floor is totally bent!"  Dude chuckled at us.  We returned the bed and got a full refund.  We put the refund money in our spare, actually usable bed so we would have something to fall back on.

A buddy of mine was moving from one side of Vancouver to another.  On top of his car was a mattress.  He decided it would be a really fun thing to have a drag race with the car beside us.  He raced forward and the light at the bottom of the hill went from green to red.  He slammed on the brakes as his mattress flew off the roof.  Next moment and the mattress was sliding through the busy intersection of South East Marine Drive and Fraser Street.  Thankfully, no accident occurred.  Except for my friend crapping himself.

Yeah, I know. My name's Fred Flintstone and I'm gonna' make your bed rock!  Those were the days.....

Here's to a happy, hopeful 2014.

Saturday 28 December 2013

A Dedication.

On Christmas day, my company, a loving dog, the ticking of a clock, the wild breeze blowing out yon window.  I was lost, lost in my thoughts, lost in hopeful thoughts that I could make a difference, for you, for me.

The phone doth ring.  That ring of love, of hope, from my mother, my family, so far away in Vancouver. A magical moment in a day of magical moments.

I dedicated Christmas Day to you.  I dedicated the day of peace to be here for those who might be feeling anything but peace.  Lost souls in a lost world.  I dedicated that day to be here for anybody who just wanted soothing words of comfort.  My destination of hope.  A journey well travelled.
I stayed online until three in the morning.  Boxing Day for me and still Christmas Day in North America. Exhausted and yet exhilarated, I switched off the computer.  Beyond the blank screen, humanity in all its wondrous diversity, its extremes of emotions, slept, smiled, cried and sang.

A dedication.  I dedicated that day with all my heart.  Alone, yet not alone, words of your support flow through my soul.   I stare at my beloved dog as she gently sleeps.  All is as it was meant to be.   Thank you. Bless you.

Monday 23 December 2013

You Have Been Here For Me And I Am Here For You.

The wind chimes.  The music of nature muffled by the cold night air.  And yet, the chimes do ring of the hope I sense for the world.  There is a warmth in the cold night air.  There is a warmth I sense from you.

I was online most of last Christmas Day.  This year, I'm going to be here again to reach out to others.

I truly understand how difficult and lonely a day Christmas can be.  Thus, if you're struggling to cope, need someone to talk to, I will be here for you.  If you just want a time out from a hectic, social day, I will be here for you.

Be assured, if you do wish to contact me, your anonymity is guaranteed.  Please take into account that my time zone is Greenwich Mean Time and I might not be able to respond immediately.  The following email address is the easiest way to contact me,  whitecap79@hotmail.co.uk   
Together, we can make a difference.  Let's take a reflective moment and think.  Think of those whose biggest concern on Christmas Day is whether they'll have something to eat and a roof over their heads.  I know how blessed I am.

As Penny sits snugly looking at the dazzling lights, she wishes you, my son Tristan wishes you and I wish you, a peaceful, hopeful, blessed Christmas.

You have been here for me and I am here for you.

Saturday 21 December 2013

Dessicated Coconut And A Mousemallow.

About a week ago, I finally managed to get started on purchasing some food items for this the, tis the season to be jolly. I placed the, tis the season to be jolly food items in a sealed plastic shelf unit.
Yes, the above unit.  Snow folks were not there or they might have been protection from a certain little critter.  A certain little critter that managed to somehow get into the bottom drawer of the sealed unit.

One of the items in the bottom drawer of the unit were marshmallows.  An ingredient I use to make a special slop to go with the turkey.  I get strange looks when I mention the special slop I have with turkey.  A bizarre thought in the minds of English folks.  You might know of the recipe I mean.
It's supposed to look something like this.  This link, if you so wish, might explain what I'm going on about, Grandma's Five Cup Salad. 
This is what that certain little critter looks like. It's a field mouse and you might think a field mouse should be in a field.  Not scurrying around my house.

My son and I had successfully escorted a previous field mouse out the front door.  Obviously, there is more than one.  My marshmallows had been completely destroyed along with a packet of shredded coconut.

I was rather pissed off.  I now had these feelings of deep hatred towards a field mouse.  I realised I might need professional counselling.

So back to the supermarket I went.  I should mention at this point that the previously purchased marshmallows were the large type and came in pink and white.  Not exactly brilliant for my turkey slop.  Try getting miniature white marshmallows in Britain.

I couldn't find the flaked coconut.  Which meant after ten hours of wandering the shop, I finally asked an employee.  In Britain, you have to ask for defecated, desecrated, sorry, dessicated coconut.  Success and I had my dessicated coconut!  I asked the lady shop assistant, now that I was feeling braver, "I don't suppose you have that most elusive of products, the miniature white marshmallow?"  Then she pointed to a package of miniature white marshmallows.  I think I had some kind of spiritual experience.

This shows, in a very weird way, that I found a positive out of what had seemed a negative.  Although extreme, the field mouse had done me a favour.

I have the white miniature marshmallows and the dessicated coconut hidden in a cupboard way out of reach. I almost love that field mouse.  Almost.  Maybe I should call it a "mousemallow."

Sunday 15 December 2013

The Wee Folks Annual Christmas Wish.

And thus, Fidelina, the beautiful fairy princess, Geoffrey the garden gnome, and their wee son, Einahalk, rejoiced in the warm, reassuring glow of the twinkling Christmas lights.
The wee folks, such wondrous, magical creatures, had come in from the cold and gathered in the comfort of the living room.  All different, all equal, celebrating the magic of a special time.
Such diversity.  Their's is a world where all is possible, no judgement passed.
See the joy, the sheer delight on the faces of the wee folks.  They know that life should be a celebration of all that's good.
And the celebration continued.  They danced, they sang to sweet tunes of love, of hope, of understanding.
In the above photograph is Venetia, the sister of Fidelina, bridesmaid from, The Wee Folks Wedding. The enchanting wedding of Fidelina, the beautiful fairy princess and Geoffrey, the garden gnome.  Standing beside her is the 'best gnome', Teagan. There was a hint of romance between the two of them at the magic-filled wedding on the first day of summer, 2010. Note the gnome in the background, Yrag, who is the best friend of Teagan.
And here is a happy little monkey.  His great long arms, wrapped over a couple of friendly garden gnomes. Nice tinsel effect.  Happy little monkey.
Dreams can come true.  Dare to believe in yourself.  Fidelina, Geoffrey and their beautiful little boy, Einahalk, wish you a peaceful, happy and so very positive Christmas.
And the wee folks gazed out the window.  They looked out, looked up, at moon-drenched sky.  Tis a marvel to behold the shining orb through winter branches.  Soon they would leave.  Return to their world of love and peace. 

Their message to us is simple, yet profound.  For the wee folks live in their wee world, where stigma, labels and the passing of judgement, are bizarre and baffling concepts.  May we learn from them.  Let's celebrate and rejoice in the diversity of mankind.  And just like in their world, we can truly be, all different, all equal.
And what of your dreams
Just fleeting beams
Or dreams come true
From your heart on cue
Celebrate diversity
A global university
A rainbow world
Peace unfurled

Thursday 12 December 2013

The Rainbow Release.

Filling in a form
Feeling so forlorn
British government
Wont repent
Filling in a form
Causing a storm
In my head
Fills me with dread
Dredging up the illness
When I want stillness
They wont leave me be
They torment me
Take away my money
It isn't funny
They do not learn
Peace, I yearn
The sick getting sicker
Hurting my ticker
The poor are suffering for the rich
Aint that a bitch
And do those in power
In cushioned tower
Not learn from the man
Who had a plan
A plan of peace
The Rainbow Release

Friday 6 December 2013

A Rainbow Planet.

The British Prime Minister, David Cameron, stated yesterday,

"A great light has gone out in the world. Nelson Mandela was a towering figure in our time; a legend in life and now in death - a true global hero. Across the country he loved, they will be mourning a man who was the embodiment of grace.
"Meeting him was one of the great honours of my life. My heart goes out to his family - and to all in South Africa and around the world whose lives were changed through his courage."

Mr. Cameron, that great light has not gone out. The ideals of Nelson Mandela shall continue to light up the minds, the hearts, the souls of those who have been oppressed and those that cherish equality. We, who have been persecuted, undermined, devalued as humans, shall maintain our peaceful defiance.  

Nelson Mandela had a dream for South Africa. That of a "Rainbow Nation", a term expressed by Archbishop Desmond Tutu.  A unity of multiculturalism.  One nation no longer divided by the segregation inflicted upon the non-whites.  A nation where all must be treated equal without fear of repercussion.

Perhaps Mr. Cameron can have a moral revelation. May he learn of humble dignity and grace. Understand that the poor, the vulnerable, the most despairing in society, will rise above the injustices we have been burdened with.  As I sit here, one of many victims of a brutal British regime, I think of Nelson Mandela. The great light of hope will forever shine.  

I believe in a Rainbow Planet. 

Nelson Mandela, July 18, 1918 to December 5, 2013.   Nelson Mandela Centre of Memory.

Sunday 1 December 2013

Sweets And Scales.

I defiantly refuse to give my mental illness permission to dominate my life the way it once did.  I will prove that my illness is only a small part of who I am.  Inspiration and encouragement from the blogging community has been vital in keeping me going.   I continue to be comforted by the kindness, the compassion, that's on the other side of my computer screen.
And a message from the internet called my name.  Tina, at Life is Good, most thoughtfully passed on the Super Sweet Blogging Award to me.  I was touched by what she noted about me.  Just like Tina, I am passionate about removing the unfair stigma that still surrounds mental health issues

Okay, here goes.  I'm supposed to answer the following five questions and then pass on the award to five real sweet type bloggers.

Question 1 : Cookies or cake?  Answer :  I guess, cake.  Especially upside down cake. Yes, I ate an upside down cake.  Or did I eat a cake, upside down?  Sorry, I'm getting confused.....

Question 2 : Chocolate or vanilla?  Answer : Fairtrade Chocolateof any kind.

Question 3 : Favourite sweet treat?  Answer : Spotted Dick and custard.  Don't even think of an innuendo!

Question 4 : When do you crave sweet things the most?  Answer : Usually when it's time to get some sleep and I've just brushed my teeth.

Question 5 :  Sweet nickname?  Answer : Mr. Awesome, um, Chelsea Canadian.  

Now this is where I'm going to once again, break the rules.  I've mentioned before that I really find passing on awards a real dilemma.  If I pass it onto that person, do they accept awards?  If I overlook somebody who has been very kind to me, will I hurt their feelings?  Which means, I embrace the award from Tina, but will let you help yourself to the award, if you want to display it on your site. 

Much to my astonishment, our kind friend, Al Diaz, invited Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar and I, her mere human, to the, Dragon's Friends Day-A Tribute to You.  We were invited to a party, a celebration, at the Dragon Cave.  A celebration of Al's first year anniversary of blogging and indeed, a celebration of the sharing, caring ideals so close to our hearts.

And thus, with the celebration, we received the gift of the, "GOLDEN SCALE AWARD"..  A gift that shall be forever treasured.

Penny and I were grateful to have been included amongst such wonderful bloggers.  We're deeply touched by the goodness of Father Dragon's heart and soul.  Bless you for this, Al Diaz.  Your ethos, testimony that we truly can be here for each other.  We must believe, collectively, we can be a powerful force to bring further understanding and respect for the great diversity of this fragile planet.
Penny and I were also inducted into the Dragon's Hall of Fame  All those inducted can be viewed in the link.

Thank you again for this.  There's magic on both sides of the computer screen.

Wednesday 27 November 2013

It's All About This.

When I do a posting, it's all about this.
It's all about a single father raising his son on his own.  About bringing up a young child in a safe, peaceful environment.  It's all about doing the best I can while battling with my mental illness.
 It's all about my little boy, Tristan and a puppy named, Penny.  Symbolic of hope, of love.
It's all about my little boy who became a young man.  And those special moments, captured in a smile on a sunny day.
It's all about a puppy who became older but still listens to the voice of her inner puppy.

It's all about Fidelina, the beautiful fairy princess and her husband, Geoffrey the garden gnome.
It's all about their little boy, Einahalk.  An ideal created from love in the world of the wee folks.  A world that has lessons to teach us humans.  About living in an all different, all equal world.  Where no judgement is made.  No stigma attached.  
It's all about the award that Penny sent out to humanity.  An award that has circulated this planet spreading goodwill and peace.  A gesture that embraces the unconditional, non-judgemental love that our animal friends share with us.  

It's all about me continuing to live with, rather than suffer from my mental health issues.  It's all about my transparency and trying to be of help, of encouragement to you.

It's all about this and it's all about you.  For I'm grateful to you on the other side of the computer screen.  Thank you for being here for me.  

Saturday 23 November 2013

Just For Poo And Dr. Who.

Greetings, yes it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!  My human, Gary, has been visiting some of his human friends the last couple of days.  He phoned and asked if I'd do an article while he's away.  So, after my human brother, Tristan, fed me, I dogged in, um, logged in and away we go.

I asked Gary how everything was.  He told me he was having typical chats with his friends.  In other words, they discussed bodily functions.  Amazing how the words "fart", "poop" and "poo", can turn him into a giggling wreck.  I've now realised that the word, "poo", doesn't  just make two year old humans laugh hysterically.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by his obsession with bodily functions.  I think the influence has come from some of your human songs I've listened to.  "To everything, turd, turd turd...." Why do turds suddenly appear, every time you are near?"  "It's only turds and turds are all I have, to take your fart away..."  "Poo are you?  Poo, poo..... poo, poo....."
Speaking of poo, Gary has watched this commercial and thought the character was a poop with a problem.. Especially when the "talking turd" states its had an accident.
Just for you
A poem of poo
Like Edgar Allan Poo
What shall I do
A pooem poohaps
Talking craps
Some pooetry
For you to see
To make you dance
As you prance
To what's in your pants
Gamers poopsocking
I aint mocking
Go in your stocking
It keeps you rocking
Must stay in the loop
No time to go poop
The gaming consumes
You sit in your fumes

The fiftieth year
It brings a tear
Of 'Dr. Poo'
Just for you
It aint too late
Go find a Dalek
What the heck
For a nation
Enter the 'Turdis'
Don't give it a miss
In a phone box
Don't poo in your socks

Saturday 16 November 2013

When You Look Beyond.

There have been profound times in my life. Times that defined me.  Made me open my eyes to other realities.  There was a time that truly challenged me. The days when I was a support worker in a shelter for the homeless, the "rough sleepers", in the city of Stoke-on-Trent. 

To see those not fortunate on the street, despairing, dishevelled, brought out the best and the worst in passers-by.  Most too busy, to find that moment to see beyond the rags and to discover the reasons as to how it got that way.  Apathy, the not my problem, the pretend you don't see the homeless person, all too prevalent in a society that doesn't want to know. 

To be with them, to listen, to learn, opened my eyes to the stories that told of a world that many had never envisioned.  I understood from their heart-breaking stories, that one moment you can have everything, the next, wondering if you'll survive the night.  

Those times working at the shelter provided me with lessons I cherish.  It's all too easy to make preconceived notions and assume the convenient stereotypes. Yet, when you look beyond, see the soul beyond the eyes, the truth can truly humble.

Imagine being cold, hungry, scared.  Your home, a cardboard box under a bridge.  Your home, a darkened shop doorway.  Imagine those who look at you in disgust without even knowing the torment that brought you to this hell on earth.  
In these times when the vulnerable, the poorest in society, are paying for the mistakes of the incompetent fortunate, you get moments like this.  

Monday 11 November 2013


NaNo NoNo
Make it so
The Mork contest
A words fest jest
Let it rest
50,000 words in 30 days
Seems the craze
You're in a haze
Your eyes do glaze
You check your phrase
You do amaze
As you plays
 Word jumble maze
Wordman of Alcatraz
Writes with pizazz 
To Kill a Mockingword
May sound absurd
But haven't you heard
Spread the word
NaNo is NoNo
You should know
NoNo November
If you can remember
Maybe Mork from Ork
Has popped your cork
NaNo NoNo
NaNo NoNo
Hey Hey Hey
NaNo NoNo
NaNo NoNo
Hey Hey Hey

I tried to put in the YouTube link
Please click on the link 
See what you think

What a show
If you're a member
Please remember
I'm wishing you well
I'm sure you can tell

Friday 8 November 2013

Blog Air Is Better Than Virgin On The Ridiculous Airlines.

A huge amount of folks were wondering about "Blog Air".  Zillions upon zillions asked me what's with this Blog Air?  So, because I'm either lazy, too busy searching for a clone or have run out of ideas, here's a past post that gives you an idea about Blog Air, the blogger's favourite airline.  If you've read this before, either ignore it, skim through it or learn the fine art of advanced thumb-twiddling.  

Ah yes, Blog Air, in its latest attempt to diversify, to try new markets in the blogging sky, Blog Air has come up with the charter flight.  All seats are in the same class.  No distinction, just a no-frills experience where all bloggers are treated the same.
And so, what happened next on the inaugural flight of Blog Air charter?  Thought you'd never ask.  Due to some misunderstanding, some bloggers were caught unaware and had no idea that it was a charter flight.  Chaos and confusion ensued.
A self-obsessed, self-promoting blogger ended up sitting beside a shy, humble and oh so unassuming blogger. The self-obsessed, self-promoting blogger went on and on and on...about how great they were and how important it was to check out the links on their blog that linked back to all their other fabulous, must read postings. The shy, humble and oh so unassuming blogger, fell asleep. This was an outrage!  How dare anybody not pay attention to them!

An alleged comedy blogger ended up sitting beside a sarcastic blogger. The alleged comedy blogger proceeded to bore the hell out of the sarcastic blogger with their so-called comedy.  "Hey friend!  My comedy has been compared to that comedy 'genius', Russell Brand!"  "Oh?'" replied the sarcastic blogger, "I'm thrilled for you to be compared to Russell Brand, a comedy genius who looks like a reject from a "Pirates of the Caribbean" audition.   Well done, you!"

And horror of horrors. A crude dude blogger who insisted that almost every other word was some sort of Anglo-Saxon derivative, was sitting beside one of those most exciting of bloggers. Yes, the crude dude blogger was sitting beside a lady blogger who wrote such incredibly riveting stuff about how she, the hubby and the kids went to McDonald's and had an extra portion of fries!  She starting telling the crude dude blogger about the thrilling, adventurous life she led.  She even mentioned that her next posting was about how she put some extra chocolate chips in the cookies!  The crude dude blogger said, "That's f**king awesome!  F**king fantasy stuff!  I bet you and that hubby of yours had some right f**king orgies in your kitchen!"  To which she replied, "No, not really, but he just loves to add to some extra cream to my coffee."
And then there was the 'extremely popular' blogger with well over a zillion followers, sitting beside a blogger with very few followers. Now then, the blogger with over a zillion followers had only a couple of comments on their latest posting. This same blogger's icon could be seen all over the blogging world and they would leave amazingly sincere comments stating, "Great post!  Thanks for sharing.  I follow your blog!" The blogger with very few followers had several comments on their site. This might just tell you something.
Anyway, the blogger with over a zillion followers discovered that the blogger beside them had only a few followers. The zillion followers blogger yelled over at the flight attendant.  "Excuse me, this must be a mistake! Get me a seat next to somebody who is popular like me!"  "Sorry sir", stated the flight attendant, "This is a charter flight and all are seated equally. However, the exit door can be found just over there. Although you'll find that the first step is a 37,000 foot drop into the shark-infested sea below. 

Aha!  Look who's the pawlet, sorry, who's the pilot of Blog Air charter flight. Yes indeed, it's Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest airline pilot!

"Hello bloggers, this is your captain speaking. Captain Penny the pawlet . Welcome to this charter flight on the blogger's favourite airline, Blog Air. We're cruising at an altitude of 37,000 feet and expect to arrive at 'Blogland' international airport at approximately six P.M., local time
Please enjoy your flight and remember to rejoice in the diversity of blogging. All different, all equal in a sharing, caring community. Thank you for flying Blog Air"

Tuesday 5 November 2013

There Is Always Something To Be Thankful For.

Back on September 15, 2013, my name ended up in a hat. My name got taken out of said hat. Penny the Jack Russell dog and myself, her mere human, Gary, had won a collection of mystery prizes. We'd entered the draw that was a thank you for following Delores over to her new site. A site I recently mentioned, this site, Under The Porch Light.  I do hope that if you haven't already been over to Delores' new blog, you would kindly go over and say hi.

The package with the mystery prizes arrived today, Monday, November, 4, 2013.  It was tracked as it meandered its way over from Guelph, Ontario, Canada, to Leek, Staffordshire, England.  I found out the reason it took so long.  Somewhere over the Atlantic, a carrier pigeon landed on the schooner, "The HMS Grenville" and removed  the mystery prize package from the clutches of commander James Cook. From there, safely grasping the mystery prize package, the carrier pigeon headed for England.

Then things slowed down again and below is why.
Yes indeed, by the time Postman Pat and his black and white cat had finished amusing the folks on his route, he finally found the time to actually deliver the mystery prize package. Thank you, Postman Pat and your black and white cat. 
Here are the mystery prizes. You can click on the photo, if you so wish, to see the prizes in greater detail. Penny has had some of the doggy treats and being a clever dog, understood the English and French words on everything. All things Canadian!  I'm in hoser heaven, eh. Deloresthank you so much.  The wait was worth it. Time for some Tim Hortons coffee. Oh yeah!  There is always something to be thankful for.

Speaking of coffee, Laura, whose blog can be found here, Austanspace, sent me coffee last Christmas and also for my birthday. I'd joked about British coffee being really good for constipation. Bless Laura, she duly sent me over some actual coffee. I've just finished off the fantastic coffee she sent me. The coffee certainly was grounds for making me happy. Local folks did, however, ask me why my eyebrows were stuck to the top of my forehead. Thank you, Laura. There is always something to be thankful for.

How could I possibly not make a mention of the adorable Michelle over at, All Consuming. Michelle, if you haven't had the delight of visiting her blog, covers a wide variety of topics. Sometimes serious, sometimes zany, but always worth a look.
Not only does she write a blog, she's also very adept at creating works of art. Michelle sent me this little tin with a photo of yes, that's correct, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! Michelle, Penny and I are most grateful for your act of thoughtfulness. Thank you, Michelle.  

So impressed are Penny and I with her creativity, we've shared some of her creations on Facebook. I know that you might be aware of this. If you are on Facebook, you can check Michelle it out  here, Clockwork Jewel. Here's an example of her jewellery, Viridian Moon Heart on Folksy  You can also check out The Clockwork Jewel, in its entirety, by going here, The Clockwork Jewel at Folksy. There is always something to be thankful for.

If you weren't aware, I would like to draw your attention to Joylene Nowell Butler's site. The link I'm supplying will let you know exciting news about her mystery thriller, "Dead Witness."  Here is where you can find out the exciting news, Buzz Deal on Dead Witness. Nice one, Joylene. There is always something to be thankful for.  

Before I finally go and yes, by my standards, this is one long posting, I want to give special mention to Julia Hones. Julia writes superbly and her poetry is profound, thoughtful, touching. Would you be so kind, if you haven't been to Julia's site, to check her out here, My writing life. Thank you, Julia, for your positive interaction. There is always something to be thankful for.

Have you checked out Delores' new site at, Under The Porch Light?

Would you be so kind as to visit Laura at, Austanspace.

Please visit Michelle at, All Consuming.

Checking out Joylene's announcement at  Buzz Deal on Dead Witness?

And please say hello to Julia at, My writing life.

There is always something to be thankful for. I'm thankful to those in the list above and thankful to you.  

Saturday 2 November 2013

Time For Shelly.

Announcing, TIME ON HER SIDE, by Shelly Arkon.  

The Blurb

They say God gives second chances. 
Forty years have shown Wilhelmina has nothing but a lifetime of four failed marriages, a job she hates, and her most recent affair with a married businessman. Until one day, while sipping coffee her silent prayers are answered--she’s visited by her future self, offering Wilhelmina a chance to re-do her life, giving her a mission to save the future world from the baby she’s unknowingly pregnant with. Is it the miracle she hoped for, or will this lead into a whole new set of problems? 

Shelly's Bio.

When Shelly isn't doing the laundry, cleaning, cooking, chasing grandkids, listening to daughter drama (five of them), or lopping heads of hair at the salon, she's writing beside her two fur-peeps, Sir Poops and Hair Ball, popping an occasional chocolate while her hubby is flipping through TV channels.

She lives in New Port Richey with her husband and two dogs. She's also a member of Florida Writer's Association and Writer's of Mass Distraction. 

Shelly Arkon is the author of, Secondhand Shoes

Find, Time on Her Side, on Amazon - free November 1-5. 

You can discover her blog here : Secondhand Shoes, A Novel

You can check out her adorable dogs here : Two Fur-Peeps and A Writer

All the very best with this, Shelly.  Apologies for being a day late. 

Thursday 31 October 2013

Pennsylvania Patches And Sherlock Hound. "The Case Of Lucifer's Lair."

The following story is a continuation from this link, Write With Fey : Character Interview / Memories of Murder by Yolanda Renee.
The Case of Lucifer's Lair
Hi there, yes it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar.  As a Halloween treat, I'll share with you my most recent and spookiest of cases.  A case that took me half way across the world and to the lair of the Beast. Yes, amongst my many talents, I'm also a magical detective that goes under the alias of, "Sherlock Hound."

It all started when my friend Patches, the Boston terrier and best friend of Yolanda Renee, the author of the romantic mystery / thriller novels Murder, Madness & Love and Memories of Murder, sent me an urgent email. Apparently, her Mistress was headed out for a scheduled interview with the diabolical villain of her recent release, Memories of Murder. Patches, concerned for her safety, asked me to fly to Pennsylvania to accompany her Mistress.  Some urgent matters here at home in England had made that trip impossible. Then things escalated as Renée didn't come home as scheduled.  I flew out immediately on the blogger's favourite airline, "Blog Air", to resolve what looked like a possible disappearance. This is what transpired.

It was 11:00 AM on October 30th when I arrived at Patches' lovely home in Pennsylvania. Patches was trembling with the worry of the situation. I noted that she was the worse for wear. Poor doggy friend hadn't been taking care of herself. I encouraged her to eat, drink and tell me as calmly as she could, what had ensued since our first communication.

Patches: My Mistress flew to California for her scheduled interview with Chrys Fey and that Beast. I expected her home on Monday and now, it's Wednesday!  Something terrible's happened!  I just know it!
Penny: Now calm down Patches. Who is this beast?
Patches: Luke Williams, the villain from her novel, Memories of Murder . He's a very dangerous, very evil character.                                                                                    
Penny: Why do you call him the Beast?
Patches: Because he believes he's the devil incarnate. He's one sandwich short of a picnic.
Penny: Then why would your Mistress go there?
Patches: I told you it was an interview for a blogger friend. Mistress will do almost anything for her blogger friends.
Penny: Yes, I know what you mean. My human, Gary, the human I so kindly allow to live with me, is the same way. He's caught up in some crazy blogfest right now. Something titled the The Grisly Grizzly & How to Defeat the Misspelling Monster, or some such nonsense. Such silliness, but it makes him happy. Now tell me where does this Beast fellow reside?
Patches: Death Valley, California.
Penny: Then come, my plane is ready. I'm a "pawlet" on Blog Air. We'll be in Death Valley in a few hours.

By 8:00 PM that same evening, we were standing at the entrance to Lucifer's cave. Death Valley is a dry, desolate place that is, putting it mildly, hotter than hell! We stand at the entrance to his cave and are overwhelmed by the smell of sulphur and death. Cautiously, we make our way down the long tunnel. A short distance in we hear voices, and Patches recognizes his Mistress. She takes off running. I follow.

We arrive at a massive cavern to find her Mistress sitting on comfortable cushions.  Her laptop's open as she types frantically. Lucifer, the Beast is pacing around the massive fire in the centre of the room and dictating. They look up as we enter and Patches makes a beeline for her mistress.  I stand back observing. Lucifer. We make eye contact, he grins and I growl. His smile soon fades and he steps back.

Renée: Patchy, oh Patchy I knew you'd find me. What took you so long?

Renée looks at me, and smiles.

Renée: Thank you Penny, I knew if I were ever in trouble, you'd be the one to call. And Patchy, dear Patchy, you always know what to do!
Penny: I don't understand, Mistress.  Why are you still here? Where is Chrys, your blogger friend?
Renée: She's home safe and sound. I would've been too, but Lucifer had other ideas. He's been needling me for a while now to tell his story. After I brought Chrys here, Lucifer became overblown with ego and demanded I get started, immediately!

She hugged Patches close, as Patches licked her face like a lollipop made of bacon. My heart swelled at such an expression of love.

Renée: I'm sorry, Patches, you know how I'm sometimes so wrapped up in my writing I forget the rest of the world exists. I'm so proud of you for calling Penny, but I'm ready to go home. I have the draft; I can finish the rest of the story at home.

She glared at Lucifer.

Renée: We're done! Come ladies, let's go home!
Lucifer: Oh no you don't. I'm in command here!

He takes a threatening stance. I eye the beast; I'm between him and my friends when I make my stand.

Penny: I don't think so – Beast!

Lucifer: So you're the famous Penny, the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar?
Penny:  Among my many talents, yes.
Lucifer: Your reputation precedes you. What makes you think you can walk into my home, and interrupt my life's work?
Penny: I'm here to take the Mistress home.
Lucifer: And what if I won't allow it?

He steps closer, throws his cape back from his shoulders in a display of power. I look to the Mistress. Renée nods, finishes gathering her belongings and gives me a smile.

Penny: Because I can do this.

I smack my paws and like that, the fire in the centre of the room becomes a fountain of frozen water. The temperature changes dramatically as cool almost frigid air fills the cavern. Lucifer's throne crumbles to dust, and ice cycles begin to form on the cavern walls. The smell of sulphur and death disappears, replaced by a cool mint. I look at Mistress Renée and wink.

Lucifer pulls his cape close about his naked body and gets down on his knees.

Lucifer: You've won. I understand. Please Mistress, I'll cooperate. Just give back my sanctuary.

We prepare to walk out, and mistress Renée turns back to look at the cowering Lucifer still on his knees.

Renée: You forget I created you. Your punishment for trying to control my writing timeline and me, is the cold. Contemplate that, and be thankful I don't end you completely for your insolence.

So there you have it, my friend.   A Halloween story of adventure. Concluding with the triumphant rescue of a writer from her own dark character and his quest for glory in the world of fiction.

Thus, I would soon return to England, Sherlock Hound, my magical powers, a force for good.  My dear Patches, until next time, I must now depart your shores.

                 Yolanda Renee                                                   Memories of Murder 

Before I fly back to England on Blog Air, I want you to know that parts of the above story were collaborated by my human friend, Yolanda and my human, Gary, yes that Gary, the human I so kindly allow to live with me.

Pawsitive wishes, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar aka Penny the pawlet aka Sherlock Hound.  HAPPY HALLOWEEN, or as Patches and I call it, "HAPPY HOWLOWEEN!"