Monday 31 October 2011

Penny's Pyrotechnic Plea.

Greetings.   Yes, it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog wishing to discuss a very important topic with you.   The next couple of weeks can be terrifying times for me and for many of us animals.
From just before Halloween, until just after Guy Fawkes Night , also called Bonfire Night, we animals can be subjected to very frightening sounds and bright lights.   I have been told this is caused by fireworks.
Below is my plea for a bit of common sense that I posted up last year.  I hope the following two weeks will not be as frightening as those in the past.   

When Gary goes out and leaves me alone, he knows that someone has been setting off fireworks outside the house.  He finds me huddled and shaking inside the closet.  His socks are wet from my nervous piddle.  Why are they doing this?  Why do they have to explode those scary things outside our home?  I'm so scared, so very scared and confused.
Gary has told me that there is no need for people to buy fireworks and cause such stress for us innocent creatures.  Gary has told me that people who buy fireworks are putting themselves and others, at risk.  He has told me that people can go and watch fireworks at controlled and safe public displays.  So why do they take the risk?  I don't understand any of this.  I think that the purchase of fireworks to the public should be banned.  Gary has told me that the Accident and Emergency units at the hospitals would agree.
So please, spare a thought.  Think about what a terrible and scary time this is for me and many other animals. Please do not go throwing fireworks down the street.  Please, if nothing else, think about saving some money and going to a public display.  I have been told by Gary that fireworks are expensive and you would get to see loads more at an organised and safe fireworks event.
Please have a safe and happy Halloween.  If you are celebrating Bonfire Night, please take heed of my impassioned plea.  I thank you.

And, if you are not aware of Guy Fawkes Night, here is link:   Guy Fawkes Night in Britain.   

Friday 28 October 2011

Sorry Store Stories.

Hey, hey!   Wasn't that fun trying to say the title of this posting?   Being sober, may or may not be of help.   So here are some sorry store story situations stated simply. 
I went and locked my front door with my car key and started up the house.  Then I went to my car and wondered why it wouldn't work.   Upon realising I was using my house key, I laughed hysterically, got weird looks from my neighbours and eventually proceeded of on my little excursion. 

Upon arriving at the supermarket, much to my delight, I saw an empty car space.  That would be the car space that was quickly taken by a lady driving a Land Rover full of screaming kids.

Thus, after several minutes of curb looking for a parking space, I finally got a location to park, three miles from the store entrance.  

First of all, I needed to go to the post office and very conveniently, the post office is located within the supermarket.   I couldn't believe my luck that there was only one customer in the post office.   That was the good news.  The bad news was there was only one staff member working at the time and the customer ahead of me was having gigantic parcels sent to every corner of the planet.  Half an hour later, it was finally my turn.  I only went in for a couple of second-class stamps.  Yes, in Britain, even stamps have a class system.

Finally, clutching onto my second-class stamps, I headed into the supermarket.   I grabbed a basket and went to get the usual items, you know, those items that they deliberately place at the back off the store, such as milk.  Because, like I've mentioned before, they are hoping that other temptations along the way to the milk aisle, will cause you to impulse buy.   Thus you walk out of the shop with your pint of milk and a 55 inch, high definition, colour television.

Anyway, strolling down the aisles, skilfully avoiding the angry mob at the 'reduced price' section, I bumped into my doctor.  "Hi doc", I stated.   '"Hi Gary", he replied.   So there we were, exchanging pleasantries and  I had this visual of the time he had on a surgical glove and um proceeded to um.....

Now it was time to go to the 'Express' 'Baskets Only' check-out.   I note one of my pet peeves.  The basket handles of a basket, three down, has it handles folded in and thus the stack of baskets is in disarray.  I have to straighten out the handles and stack the baskets neatly.  I make sure the handles on my basket are placed folding out.  The shopper behind me places their basket on the stack with the handles folded inwards.
In front of me, is the 'oblivious' customer who has brought a shopping trolley to the baskets only check-out.  She has purchased half the store.   The cashier looks at me and shrugs her shoulders.  And I wait and I wait.  The check-out next to the one I'm at, suddenly opens and a bunch of customers who were after me, rush over and of course, are out of the store before me.   

At last, bag of groceries packed, I went to the counter at the entrance.   This would be the counter where you can buy lottery tickets.   There is only one person in front of me.  Once again, that might seem to be good news.   So what does this person do?   Well she buys twenty scratch cards, of which, she insists on scratching,  right then and there.  She then purchases Lotto this and Lotto that.   And just when you think she is about to leave, the lady gets the cashier to run through all her previous zillion tickets from Lotto this and Lotto that, through this machine to see if she has won anything.   She has not.   I was hoping she might have won the big one and would never return.    So, after fifteen minutes of twiddling my thumbs, whistling, smiling through gritted teeth and staring at the ceiling, I bought my newspaper......

Exhausted, I traipsed back to my car.   Of course, that would be the same car that seemed to have vanished, because it was either stolen or I couldn't remember where I'd parked it.  However, after much roaming around and under the watchful eye of the store's security guard, I found my car and put in my groceries.

I was about to drive home when I remembered that a store nearby had been taken over by new management and I was curious to see what was on offer.  I went in and was amazed by the huge Halloween section.  I saw a lady I recognised from behind, as being someone I'd had some pleasant chats with.   She was playing with a scary Halloween doll that made a screaming noise.   I went up to her and said, "Boo!  Very spooky!"  She turned around and it was a total stranger......

Back in my car and time to go home.   This time I used the key to the car to start it.....

Saturday 22 October 2011

Paw Attention.

Greetings.   Yes, tis I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.  Here's a photo of me talking to  one of my many admirers.  Yes, even cats recognise my obvious writing prowess.  Hey cat!   Calm down.   I do understand you are starstruck seeing my awesome self.

You may have noted in the post before this post that the human I so kindly allow to live with me,  put up an award announcement.   Yes indeed, it was the 'Friendly Blogger Award.   However, the friendly blogger who bestowed this award to this site, included me as a friendly blogger.   So, in fairness, it's my turn to add some more friendly bloggers to the list.   Thanks again Teresa, who can be found here,  A Likely Story , for thinking of me and that human, Gary.  

Here goes, the Friendly Blogger Award to these bloggers to do as they wish with.


And just like my human noted,  we think of all of you who so kindly visit our site, a friend.  We are very grateful.

Speaking of friendly, honourable mention must go to Casper the friendly ghost writer.

And of course, that famous Canadian, 'The Friendly Giant'.

In case any of you doubted that I do my own posts.....well, here you go, the above photo is of me formulating  this article.   All I have to do now is press...... "PAWBLISH POST".......

Tuesday 18 October 2011


Ah yes, friends.   And when I note 'friends', it is in no way a reference to that nauseating, sickly sweet American television 'shitcom', I mean 'sitcom' show, 'Friends'.   That would be the show that had Jennifer Aniston amongst the galaxy of stars.  Yes, the same Jennifer Aniston who was devastated when I told her I wouldn't marry her.   So, yes indeed,  to try and get over her heartache, she married and then divorced, Brad Pitt.  I guess she never really got over me turning her down.  Which reminds me, if you're reading this Brad, no I won't tell you the secret in regards to my stunningly good looks.   Or, is that stunning or stunned look...Anyway, whatever, Brad, deal with it.
So nothing to do with the television show, Friends.  The show that also featured Courtney Cox.   You may recall her in a certain Bruce Springsteen video.   Yes, his video for 'Dancing in the Dark', where he beckons a very young Courtney Cox to come and dance on the stage with him.   And judging by their dancing, I wish they had danced in the dark, total dark.
Before I completely digress from the actual theme of this posting.....I suppose there might be a bit of a clue in the above photo.  Teresa, over at this friendly site : A Likely Story  has very kindly bestowed the 'Friendly Blogger Award' to me because she considers me to be a friendly blogger.   Teresa, I'm most honoured that you would think of me as a friendly blogger friend.  
Okay, I'm supposed to forward this award onto a few friendly bloggers.   Of course, you are all friendly and during an extremely difficult time in my personal life, your friendship has been a lifeline.  However, even though I consider you all to be my friends, I wish to pass on the award to the following for their ongoing kindness to me that goes beyond any words.  To all my blogger friends, I am truly grateful.

2:   THE SNEE         
3:   Austanspace    
4:  thefeatherednest       
7:  browndogcbr     
10:  Soundoff    
11:  CindyLu'sMuse      
12:  It's A Lollipop World     
14:  The Manic Chef  
15:  joanne rose  

To all of those friendly bloggers I have forwarded this award too; please do not feel any obligation to acknowledge this award or, if you do, to not list as many friends as me.
I am going through the toughest time of my life.  I've been in the background and not very proactive.  I cannot think straight and I'm exhausted.  My dear friends, all of you, I hope you understand.

Wednesday 12 October 2011

The Sadness In Your Smile.

Within you lies great beauty
Yet I see the sadness in your smile
I see it as my duty
To walk with you a mile.

'Walk a mile', as in walk a mile in your shoes, your moccasins, to try to understand and not pass judgement.  To experience what you experience.
In this all too hectic, fast-paced world, it can be easy to ignore the plight of our brothers and sisters in their time of need.  I reach out and will do my utmost to turn those tears of sorrow into tears of joy and laughter.
I know we can all be here for each other.  We can realise a better place in what should be an all different, all equal society, that embraces the diversity of mankind.  Nobody has the right to devalue your humanity.  

I see the homeless man
With the sparkle in his eye
I see the greed with the evil plan
And ask the question why?

Wednesday 5 October 2011

Are Spiders Narcissistic?

Cobwebs.  Now the cobwebs I'm referring too, have nothing to do with a cob as in, corn on the cob, a thickset, stocky, short-legged horse, a roundish lump of coal, or even a male swan.  Although, I've no doubt, that a male swan may well have its own web (webbed) site.  There are many definitions of cob to be found.  Some might even be slightly suggestive.  Anyway, I'm not going to get a 'cob on', over it.

Of course, I'm referring to cobwebs or spider webs.  Have you ever noticed that your car can be nice and clean, except on the side mirrors?  You washed the car yesterday and it was spotless.  You go out the next morning and note the cobwebs on the side mirrors.  So, you remove the cobwebs.  You go back in the house.  Five minutes later, you decide you need to go back to your car.  And once again, there are cobwebs on your side mirrors.  Then you look at the row of cars on your street.  You notice that everyone of them has cobwebs on the side mirrors.  Out of frustration, you decide to wash your car again.  Five minutes later, the cobwebs have returned to your car's side mirrors.
So, I'm wondering if spiders are narcissistic?   Do they love to pose and admire themselves on your car's side mirrors?   Maybe it's posing, showing of its 'daddy long legs'.  Maybe, just maybe, it's a plot by spiders to piss us off.   You are driving along and realise that the cobwebs you forgot to clean off have caused you to not see the really angry cop who is trying to get you to pull over.
Then again, I've never actually seen a spider on the side mirror.  Only the cobwebs.  Oh how I wish to see a spider on a Fiat Spider.
If you had an ear of corn lying on a spider's web....would that be 'corn on the cobweb'?

For your consideration.  Here's a web sight.  And yes, Spider-Man has his very own website.  You may have realised, if you actually read this posting, that I obviously need to 'clear away my cobwebs', have another cup of coffee and go outside, to yet again, clean off the cobwebs on my otherwise clean car.  That would be unless I mention the bird shit, but that's another story.....