Tuesday 31 January 2012

How Sweet It Is.

Greetings, yes, tis I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.  I have been honoured to have received "The Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award"  from that lovable dog friend, Indy and her wonderful human, Teresa, over at this pawesome and awesome site : A Likely Story.   I thank you both very much for thinking of me.

I am supposed to reveal seven facts about myself.   Hopefully, I am not being too repetitive.   Still, even if I am, it's always good to share with you, my adoring fans, facts about this modest internet star.   So, for your delight, here goes.

1:  I have to be cautious when I go out for walks.   The 'puppyarazzi' take every opportunity to hound me for a photograph.
2:  I like to watch television and I start barking when I see horses on the screen.
3:  I am very kind and allow my human to take a break from his writing by doing one of my highly anticipated pawstings.
4:  I have attempted to teach my human, Gary, how to be a better writer.  Alassie, sorry, alas, he will not pay attention to my helpful hints.
5:   I know I've mentioned this before.  My left hip had to be removed when I was a little puppy.   Muscle has grown in the place of the missing hip.   And yes, you could call me 'one hip dog'....
6:   My young human, Tristan, finally got out of the bathroom the other day and took me for a walk.  If I had waited any longer, he would of discovered a nasty surprise in the hallway.
7:  I have my very own award that I pawsonally created.   It is called, "The Gold Framed Dog Blog Award" and has brought joy and inspiration to bloggers all over the world.   It has, according to my pawblicity team, even reached the surface of Uranus.  You may note my award in the photograph below.

Now I must forward "The Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award" onto seven worthy and wonderful bloggers.
Although I consider all of you to be excellent recipients of the award, here are seven examples that I think are superb read.

1:  thefeatherednest   
2:  Nancy S. Thompson     
3:  Prufrock's Dilemma   
4:  Positive Letters....inspirational stories....   
5:  Austanspace   
6:  Cat Chat with Caren & Cody 
7:  The Scribbling SeaSerpent  

And with that, I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, wish you a peaceful and pawsitive day.......

Thursday 26 January 2012

Reaching Out With Revelation.

We live in a world where many have been subjected to stigma, stereotyping, labels and assumptions.   Perhaps a video like this will make those who too easily pass judgement, think again.

Friday 20 January 2012

Step Up To The Plate.

You may have heard the expression, or if you are into fancy words, the idiom, 'step up to the plate'.   It basically means to take on a challenge or a responsibility.  To initiate action.
It is also is a literal reference when a baseball player steps up to home plate to take a turn at batting against a pitcher.  You might be familiar with the game of baseball.  If you live in Britain, you may consider baseball a form of glorified rounders or cricket in an alternate reality. 
I've had a varied life and when I was a teenager living in Vancouver, I used to go to minor league baseball games at Capilano Stadium.  My buddies and I would get there early and talk to the players as they warmed up for the game.  We had many a fun conversation with the players.  I remember this one dude who had noted how small the crowds were.  In his finest southern drawl, he said, "What y'all been doin' scarin' all them folks away?"   Another player asked us, "Hey guys, where do all the chicks hang out?"  Of course, being fifteen and being 'men of action', we told him about all the hot spots where you could like pick up 'chicks'.  He told us he would check out those places after the game in his "pick up truck."  
And the player who wanted to know where to find the ladies started bragging about how great a game he was going to have.  And a great game he had.  That was the good news.  The bad news was that he played for the opposing team named the Spokane Indians.  And the name of that player?   Bobby Valentine, who is now the manager of the Boston Red Sox. 

Ah yes, baseball.  Which has terminology such as sacrifice fly, slugging percentage, single, double, triple, home run, stolen base, caught  stealing, seventh inning stretch, strikeouts, base on balls, foul balls and sliding into home base.  I remember one day when a bunch of us dudes were thinking about having a game of naked baseball.  Then we thought about sliding into home base and decided foul balls wasn't such a good idea.  
The team, way back then in the year 1969, were named the Vancouver Mounties.  The photo is a Vancouver Mounties baseball cap.   We used to look at the cap and end up in hysterical laughter.  Or to use a baseball metaphor, 'looks like they have gotten past first base and scored a home run...'

Monday 16 January 2012

Penny The Patient Pooch.

Hi there, yes, tis I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.  And lucky you.   This is my first pawsting of 2012.
In the above photo I am waiting patiently for a certain young man to take me for a walk.   And I wait and I wait, outside the bathroom door.  Funny how I always have to wait for him.  Time really does depend on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
If he doesn't hurry up, Tristan may well find a nasty surprise waiting for him in the hallway!  And no, I don't mean me.  I'm getting desperate!  Maybe you could help me and tell Tristan to hurry up out of the bathroom.  Thank you.

Thursday 12 January 2012

Tart To Tart.

Definition of tart :
1:  Having a sharp and rather sour taste.
2:  Sharp or bitter in tone or meaning.
3:  A pastry case, especially one without a top, with a sweet or savoury filling.
4:  A promiscuous woman.  The often unisexual nature of modern slang ensures that the meaning of 'tart' in this context can also be applied to promiscuous males.   There are variations to this, such as 'tarted up', which basically means getting dressed up in a potentially garish way.   Y'all might call, tarted up, 'dolled up'.

This posting is in reference to definition number 3.

The above photograph is of a Bakewell Tart.   Bakewell is a town in Derbyshire, set right in the heart of the Peak District National Park.   Here's some information on Bakewell :  Bakewell, Derbyshire.   Here's one recipe for a Bakewell Tart : Bakewell Tarts.    Just to confuse you, you will note there are many different ways to make a Bakewell Tart.
Bakewell is about twenty five miles north east of where I live.   Yes, I really do live in a town named Leek.  I'm thinking of driving to Bakewell in search of a classic Bakewell Tart.   Oh and I am referring to the pastry item.

Here's a video of Bakewell.  

Now to finish this posting by dazzling you with songs about tarts.  'How Can You Mend A Broken Tart?', 'Your Cheatin' Tart', 'Don't Go Breakin' My Tart', 'Unbreak My Tart', 'Achy Breaky Tart', 'Put A Little Love In Your Tart' and my favourite, 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Tarts Club Band.

There you go.  You see, my tart's in the right place.  Bakewell is a very old town.  And being the home of the legendary Bakewell Tart, I shall go there in search of some ancient 'tarty facts'.

Friday 6 January 2012

Advanced Warning.

Advanced warning.  Take cover.  Flatulence alert!   Or most definitely take cover and plug your nose if you work at the London Zoo and have been involved in the annual stock take.  No doubt you will be subjected to a variety of farts, from the exotic to the more indigenous types.  Here's some further information : Please do keep still... I'm trying to count you! London Zoo keepers start annual stock take of 18,500 animals.   

The video above should give you further insight into the annual stock take at the London Zoo.

One zoo keeper had a very clever idea.  He went to the Reptile House, strolled over to the snake section and stated, 'Perfect!  We could use a couple of adders in the stock take.'  To which the adders replied in unison, 'Hiss Off!'
So there they are.  Counting camels, chickens, crocodiles and chimpanzees.  Totalling the tigers, turtles, toads and toucans.

Things have been going very slowly in the Children's Petting Zoo.  Apparently, the zoo keeper starts counting sheep....and you know the rest.    'Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep, sh...eee...pppp.....zzzzzzzzzz...'

Wednesday 4 January 2012

Aisle Be There.....Eventually!

Welcome to 2012.  And just when I'd got myself familiarised with where everything was in the store in 2011, the store decides to have a bit of a laugh.
Do you know what I mean?   I go into the store and head straight down the cereal aisle only to discover that the boxes of cereal have vanished and have been replaced with various brands of dog and cat food.  Suddenly, I wonder if I've entered a parallel universe, an alternate reality, or maybe entered the wrong store.
And so, visualise this, I wandered aimlessly around the store, terrified that I would go from aisle to aisle and not find the "Special K" or the drastically reduced packets of "Pop Tarts".   What if I ended up an aisle expecting to find the breakfast items only to realise that I was in the middle of the ladies undies section?   What if I ended going down the wrong aisle and shudder, discovered I had become married?
So why do they do this?   Why the urge to rearrange the shop that had become so familiar?  To keep us alert?   No, me thinks it may well be a ploy to get us so confused that we impulse buy and end up with not only a lot of exercise, but a lot of extra junk we didn't really want.  Not surprisingly, the milk is in its usual location and that would be at the back of the store.
Now then, you may well ask, 'Gary, for goodness sakes man!  Why didn't you just ask a friendly shop attendant where the cereal was now located?'   And well you may ask.  Okay, time to stereotype us dudes.  Dudes asking for directions?   You must be joking.   Heck, get lost driving around a strange town without a map or a Sat Nav and do you think we are going to ask for directions?   Heck no.   I mean I'm sure the place we want to go is just around the next corner...
After much strolling about in the store making out like I knew what I was doing, I found the cereal.   Time to go to the checkout, a minute before closing and pay for the Special K, the drastically reduced packets of Pop Tarts, various brands of dog and cat food and um.....some ladies undies....and help!.... A marriage certificate!.....