Friday, 9 July 2010

Welcome To 'Farcebook'.

You may be familiar with social networking sites.  I joined 'Farcebook'.  Thought it would be a really neat way to interact and reconnect with folks from my past.  All good stuff.  Right?
Well it turns out that there is a lot more to Farcebook.  I have noted some of the 'friend' requests led me to a link to a 'porno' site.  This led me to believe that, hmmm, I guess this isn't a genuine friend request.  So I have a quick look at the link for about thirty minutes, I mean thirty seconds and ignore the 'friend' request.
Then there's the 'profile updates'.  'Joe Bollocks is having some toast and a cup of coffee.'  'Suzie Creamcheese is all excited about watching Glee Club.  I'm such a Gleek lol'.  Well hello Joe and Suzie, I don't care!
Okay and then we have all those Farcebook games and applications.  You get to see all the thrilling updates that could possibly leave you breathless with excitement and anticipation, as to what happens next.   'Mary Lou Cupcake would like to hire you to work in my facilities in RanchVille!'  'Bobby Redneck Critter could really use some help fertilizing their crops in FarmRanch!'  Enough already.  Then I noticed the edit feature to prevent me from seeing all this fascinating information.  So I gratefully switched that feature on. No more exciting updates on 'IguanaVille', 'Pass the Possum',  'Poke the Pirate', or even the latest moving activities over at 'ShiteVille'.
Yes, fair enough, I will admit it.  There was a time I attempted one of the gaming applications.  It was 'FarmVile' and it was a disaster from the outset.  I ended up having my cows trample and crap all over my prized cucumbers, got chased around a field by my tractor, was kicked off my land by a bunch of rowdy hillbillies who wanted my flock of sheep and the wild possum that had knocked over the majority of my freshly painted fencing.  'Howdy neighbour'.  I don't think so and don't get me started on the 'Send Good Karma' application.  I sent out loads of karma to my friends.  Apparently good karma will come back.  So what happened when I went into a karma frenzy?  Thought you'd never ask.  Well, the car I had got wiped out by an ambulance.  Yeah, I know, good karma.  After all, if you are going to be involved in an accident, an ambulance would be the ideal vehicle.
I do put up profile updates.  Recently, and this will explain the photograph, I posted the following update.  'I require one more tin of beans to reach the next level on 'FartVille!'.  Oh, and if you are really interested, here is my latest profile update on Farcebook.  'If they can land a man on the Nevada desert.  What next?  The moon?'
Welcome to 'Farcebook'.  That tin of beans worked a treat. 'Toot, toot...'


  1. Hmm... I don't really mind Fartbook and the people I find in there. Farceville, on the other hand, is something that I haven't touched the day I began using Fartbook.

    I beg your pardon? Oh, I have the names wrong? Ah ok! Bah, I don't really care. You say toh-mah-toh, I say sweet potato. It performs better than beans in producing quality toxic air. Whatever, right?

    But really, I only know like 5 percent of the people I have on my friends list. That's what happens when you use social networking sites for social networking.

    Ok, gotta go. I need to update the people on Uranus. Peace out, Gary!

  2. Gary, I like Farcebook just so I can see what your new profile pic is going to be today.

  3. Sir Tom Eagerly9 July 2010 at 15:57

    Hello Gary. I once looked at Facebook and a young Lady I know invited me to poke her. It led to an awful misunderstanding. I tend to avoid Facebook and baked beans these days.

  4. hi mr gary! my brothers said i cant be on any of those places til i get older. so i dont know so much about it. but you know lots and got me laughing. have a really fun weekend.
    ...smiles from lenny

  5. Hello Ryhen,
    'Fartbook', 'Faceville'. I'm wondering if this is a rival social networking or social 'notworking' site and application to 'Farcebook'?
    I know most of the people in 3D reality on Farcebook. Of course, despite never having the incredible honour of meeting your good self in 3D reality, we have interacted through a particular social networking site in a most positive way. I am grateful for that, Ryhen.
    Please say hello to the good folks hanging around on Uranus. Peace and a free extra level on 'FartVille', your way, Gary :-)

  6. Hi lifeshighway,
    Awe gee whiz, thanks. I do hope you like my today's profile picture on 'Farcebook'. You have a brilliant set up on that site, by the way.
    Have a good weekend, you never know AstroBoy may return lol

  7. Ah, Sir Tom Eagerly,
    I note you have made a triumphant return to the wonderful world of 'blogland' Welcome back and I do hope you are well.
    Is there a site called 'Facebook'? You get to 'poke' folks on that site? I can see how that could cause some confusion. I suppose that baked beans would seem rather below your fine culinary standards. I reckon that you, Sir Tom Eagerly, (have you settled on that particular spelling?) would be more in with the caviar and 'chocolate fruillisade set.
    Pip, pip and all that sort of rot..

  8. Hi Lenny,
    First of all, I wanted to say how pleased I was that you had such a great time on that cruise. I do hope more people go over and read your delightful blog:-)
    Your brothers are very sensible. It is best to wait until you are old enough to get the best out of checking out such places.
    I was just having a bit of fun and I am so glad it made you laugh. You have a fun weekend, also, Lenny.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)

  9. I'm glad 'Facebook' offers the 'hide link' for gamers, allowing others to embrace more space.
    Sorry to hear it bothers some people. The new changes will begin to eliminate the gamers. Hang tough, Gary. We may soon be a beanless society! :)

  10. I don't know how else to keep up with my kids and my grandkids but thru Facebook. Now when they say something I actually understand what they mean. LOL.

  11. Hi Dixie,
    As you are aware I do like to ramble on a bit in a very much 'tongue-in-cheek' way.
    On a serious note it is obvious to me that some folks find the gaming on social network sights a good way to relieve stress. I respect that and you know that it is my great pleasure, before it may be too late, what with the potential 'beanless society', to send you a virtual tin of baked beans, so you can reach the next level on FartVille:-)
    Have a lovely weekend, Dixie. I hope that it doesn't get too hot over where you live. I know that is has been very hot on the East Coast of North America.
    Sending you good karma, Gary :-)

  12. Hi Joylene,
    Just a second...was just checking out my tinned bean supply on 'FartVille'..Sorry about that.
    Actually, in fairness, 'Farcebook', okay, 'Facebook', has been an excellent way of me getting back in touch with some friends back in British Columbia. Besides, I'm now going to save a fortune in hotel costs. Probably shouldn't have typed the preceding sentence.
    I'm wondering if they communicate to you in 'text talk'. Like this, 'R U O K? C U later eh...'
    Have a great weekend and here's a tin of baked beans for you, Gary

  13. Oh noes! The cows trampled all over your prized cucumbers? And the tractors crushed all the cows? Oh, the inhumanity of it all.

    Sounds like an exciting game. Pass those baked beans, please. I'll likely be more thrilled with my own toots. Ahhh... there goes a fancy one now. My cat is choking quite nicely.

    Anyways, I joined up with ol' 'Farcebook' a couple weeks ago and haven't really gotten into the spirit of it all yet. For some reason, telling people or reading about people having their second cup of coffee that day (or something just as astonishing and mundane) just doesn't appeal to me like it should, I suppose.

    When I joined up, some old blog pals from the past friended me and gave me either a free patch of farm land or bucket of manure or something for that game you're talking about. Forget what, exactly. But, gosh, that game sounds so exciting. lol. I can't wait to NOT play it.

    Indeed, all of 'Farcebook', from what little I checked out two weeks ago, appears to be something to fiddle with if you have trouble sleeping that night. But maybe I just haven't seen the beautiful majesty of it all yet. Toot!

  14. I don't really checkout Facebook any more Gary. Mrs Bazza more than makes up for me. The last time I looked 87 people were begging me to 'be their friend'. I didn't even know most of them!
    Someone 'sent' me a beer; thanks, but unless I can actually drink it, no thanks.
    I imagine Farcebook is very similar.

  15. Hi there Kelly,
    I can barely control my excitement or is that my excrement over you finally braving the world of thrills, known as 'Farcebook'.
    The profile updates are a must read. Heck, even I have got into the spirit of leaving mundane messages to let all my Farcebook friends what is happening in my action-packed life. Gosh and gee willikers!
    Yes indeedy do, forget 'FarmVile'. Well-meaning friends sending you buckets of cow crap. Fantastic.
    Now that we are Farcebook friends, I shall hopefully get you to join in the fun and flatulating pleasures on offer there. I will even send you the secret gift that allows you to escape out the back passage of 'FartVille'. Makes you all tingly just thinking about it.
    Welcome to Farcebook, Kelly, 'toot, toot'...'toot':-)

  16. Hi bazza,
    I can totally understand why so many folks would want to be your friend on that site 'Facebook'. I think I might check that site out.
    I mentioned I get 'friend' requests on 'Farcebook' that lead me to a 'porno' link. Just what are they trying to tell me. I wonder.
    Thank you, bazza. Kind wishes and here's hoping you get offered a drink in 3D reality:-)

  17. I just don't get Facebook, Gary. If I wanted to connect with old friends I would have done it. That's why they are in the old friends bin. Life happens and you move on. Plus, I don't care what anyone had for lunch today. It just seems like useless trivia to me, but what do I know? Oh BTW, I had yogurt for lunch today. Just sayin'....

  18. Hi Gary!

    Thought I would stop by and reconnect with an old friend. As always your description is both colorful and truthful. My current work involves using Facebook extensively but it troubles me that so many people seem to live there. Within seconds of updating a page the comments start rolling in regardless whether it is noon or midnight.

    The majority of comments are well thought out using prose such as "Yea!" Much like many blogs, there is a competition to be the first person to make themselves appear to be an idiot. We have many masters!

    I'm happy to see you are still writing and well. I have been away from my blog for many moons because there are just not enough hours to keep up. I am still writing but on topics that do not fit well in maintaining inner peace. I am even having thoughts that "no, we really can't all get along".

    Take care my friend and I wish you all the happiness life can provide.


  19. Obviously you are too OLD to appreciate the modern conveniences that FB allows!!!

    Haha! Heart you fucker!

    ~the Fairy Princess

  20. Dear Cher,
    There were some folks from the past who I had been trying to contact. Due to changes of name via marriage, it had been difficult to locate them.
    So, in our case, it did turn out to be a blessing to reconnect with some dear friends who I did not mean to lose touch with.
    Having noted that, I do agree that some folks from the past need to stay in the past and move on.
    What flavour yogurt? lol Oh, by the way, did you know that 'yogurt' is also spelt 'yoghurt' in Britain? Fascinating fact eh. Just saying..
    Take very good care and keep smiling.
    Kind wishes and a tub of plain British yoghurt, your way, Gary:-)

  21. Hi Roger,
    Really great to see you back and blogging again.
    'Farcebook' or 'Facebook' seems to have created a bizarre 'addiction'.
    I seem to have 'lost' some friends on the site to gaming applications. The only way to 'rescue' them is by sneaking in and bringing that back to the 3D world. Alas, they will not leave. Whatever works and makes one happy is the bottom line.
    I must go soon, Roger, need to check out the latest absorbing and deeply profound profile updates on 'Farcebook'. Gosh.
    You keep embracing positivity. Despite what can be perceived as the 'me, me, me' mentality, there are still plenty of kind and decent folks out there.
    Shall come over and check out your blog. In peace and kindness, Gary.

  22. Awe Ashley,
    How are things in Kansas? Y'all be hanging out with the Wizard of Oz?
    A modern convenience is a flushing toilet.
    Still, if you just luv 'Farcebook', in honour (okay just for you I type 'honor' incorrectly) of this awesome fact; I send you a magical used toilet brush to take you to the next level in the gaming application 'CalamityVille Horror'.
    You know, sugar plum fairy princess, you are just adorable.

  23. I feel affirmed! I just don't get facebook at all. Its banality cental and as you say who wants to know that Joanie has run out of wash powder?
    Complete strangers ask to be my friend. excuse me, I am English, I require an introduction.
    I stuck with it intermittently for 2 months - in a voyeuristic capacity, then dumped it.
    My friends have my phone number.
    I mean wtf is social networking anyway? Is it for sociopaths who are unable to develop meaningful personal relationships face to face?
    The policemen are starting to look very young too..... guess I am maturing!

  24. Hi Juliana,
    Thank you kindly for leaving a comment.
    'Joanie has run out of wash powder'
    Oh no, I missed that fascinating update on Joanie's laundry crisis.
    I've had a few request from total strangers. I have checked out a few of them. I hate to be cynical (hmmm..something to do with my age?) but they are often people with a lot of 'friends' already. I think it might just be a pathetic ego thing. Don't get me started on the 'self-interest' friend requests.
    I think there might be some good stuff involving social networking. I mean the sociopaths can set up their own gaming application on Farcebook. The winner is the one who is the most anti social.
    I know what you mean about the police looking younger. Heck, the cops don't give me suspicious looks, any more.
    All the best to you. Gary

  25. Gosh, I wish there were more social networking sites like 'Farcebook', Gary.

    Surprise(not). There is.

    The InterNutz is plagued by these pointless pits of virtual boredom. Much like the diseased, festering boils on an old gnome's ass, one of these sites is about as whoopity-doo-dah exciting as the other.

    Can I get an AMEN, brothers and sisters?! Or at least a message telling me about how your lawn has grown a quarter of an inch longer?


  26. Say it isn't so, Kelly. There are more social networking, notworking, nutworking sites than just Farcebook?
    You know, I totally forget to take a sneaky photo of a gnome's butt during the 'wee folks' wedding. That reminds me Fidelina and Geoffrey should be back soon from the island nation of 'Lilliput'. I bet they are having one heck of a loony tune honeymoon.
    Did I tell you that my lawn has grown a quarter of an inch longer? No. Right then, I shall put that information up on my Farcebook profile. I mean, people need to know this and the fact I am about to let rip with the resulting gas of one too many tins of baked beans:-) 'toot' back atcha' AMEN

  27. Dear Gary,
    As I don't and never have used "farcebook", I can't really comment, which is unusual, because here I am attempting to make a comment on your post.
    Suffice it to say, I'm sure you're right in all that you say here and I bow down to your infinite wisdom over such matters!
    Wishing you well, my short-haired, hippy, Sean Ryder look-alike friend,

  28. Dear David,
    I recall you telling me that you had not registered for that delight of social networking named 'Farcebook'.
    I do appreciate you attempting to comment on something you cannot really comment about.
    I'm glad, at long last, you see my infinite wisdom in virtually all matters of great significance to the betterment of mankind and all forms of existence in every conceivable dimension.
    G-Man, thanks for thinking I look like your hero and one of the most articulate chaps ever to come from Manchester, Shaun Ryder.
    Kind wishes and a night out with the Happy Mondays, your way, Gary.

  29. You really cracked me up, again. This post was especially on fire, heavy on the sarcasm this time. When I first joined the Farcebook scene, I thought it was compulsory to accept all the freaking invites to games, and other weird apps. After gradually ascending the ladder, from a noob to a sorta experienced Fartbook User, I started to remove all the weird game apps that I once thought was so exciting. Haha.

    Gary, didn't they already go to the moon? Oh, were you being sarcastic? I am now confused. Ha Ha.

    Here's an empty can filled with all the happy gas, from a trip up to Uranus, courtesy of our good friend, Ryhen.

    And here's a gas mask, from me to you. Peace!

  30. Hi Gary,

    I agree totally with you, however it is good to see that forcedbog in the UK are starting to get their act together over child protection. One assumes the paedo's over the pond carry on as usual

    Great blog Gary

  31. Hi Shanaz,
    What me sarcastic? I have never, ever, ever, been sarcastic in my life, ever. Well, maybe once lol
    I know what you mean about all those application requests. I felt really bad if I didn't accept a request. Trouble is, I found that by the time I had finished obliging the requests, I had forgotten the reason I had logged on to the wonders of 'Farcebook' in the first place.
    What? They've landed a man on the moon? Conspiracy theories, perhaps. There was a rumour that the moon landings were actually 'staged' in the Nevada desert. Nah, I must have got that wrong:-)
    Nothing like a bit of 'Uranus gas'and to think our travelling buddy, Ryhen, has supplied it. Wow, thanks for sharing, Shanaz. Okay, I can barely see the screen through this gas mask. Thanks for commenting and here's a bonus tin of virtual baked beans to get you to the next and very moving level on Farcebook's most popular gaming application, 'FartVille' :-)

  32. Hi Philip,
    I had a hunch you would agree with this one.
    Apparently, there is going to be some sort of a 'panic button' set up on that social network site. I'm not quite sure how it will be incorporated but let us hope it detracts any unwanted folks from accessing children's profiles by unscrupulous means on a world wide basis.
    Thanks Philip. Please take care of yourself and that good lady. With respect, Gary.

  33. Hi Gary, not having my own computer prevents me from regularly accessing facebook but due to all the shit that is on there I don't feel to left out! Peace, Simon

  34. Hi Simon,
    I'm really sorry that you do not have a lot of access to a computer.
    I mean, just think of all the fine times you can have reading up on my devastatingly important profile updates on Farcebook :-)
    Surely that kinda' makes you feel left out? lol
    Peace dude:-)


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.