Tuesday 6 July 2010

On And On And On And On

Warning!  The following blog is an experiment in holding your breath.  It is highly recommended that you do not reach the point of holding your breath like the old dude in the photograph below.  Yes below, as in underneath this sentence.


One thing I try to avoid in writing is something that I have mentioned before and that is the 'run-on' sentence because there are times that what you have to say can be much better described without using 'and' to make the sentence even longer than what it needs to be and there are times I know that I have probably typed sentences that are just too short but I don't care about that and I have decided that grammar anarchy is real good fun but will be frowned upon by those who insist that oh you must put a comma here and a semicolon  there along with a period or as it is called in Britain a full stop to note the end of a sentence which is not happening with this sentence until I ramble on with yet more gibberish such as the 'Comedy Knitting' workshop was a laugh and it had me in stitches being involved with such a close-knit community and this bank machine had a sign noting 'free cash machine' yet I noted that the cash actually came out of my account which I thought was unfair and misleading so I went into the store to complain and the lady asked me if she could check my card by 'swiping' it which I though was not good because if she swiped it I would not be able to use it and then I went to my car and realised it had been swiped but the scratch was not too bad so I went back into the shop and purchased a CD which was an empty case that had to be taken over to a special section where this lady then put a CD into the empty case and I then realised when I put the CD into my car stereo that my day was getting even worse because I was ready to listen to 'Devo' singing 'god made monkey but he used the human to do it' or something like that and ended up getting the 'Best of the Osmonds' so I think it is always best to make sure that the CD you get is the one that you want and I now believe I could sneak in words such as fuck and pink stilettos and you would not even realise this because you are now fascinated by my  story about these little people who followed around a very well-endowed golden amphibian whilst singing 'follow the yellow prick toad' and now I think it is time to not continue going on and on and on and on because I am going red in the face about being blue in the face over writing such a ridiculously long run-on sentence and thus you can now take a breath and smile.

22 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHA... That was a frickin' great story. I enjoyed how you incorporated words from different, recent bloggers blog posts. Yes, I noticed. Cleverest run on and on sentence I've ever laid me peepers on, yes, indeedy. And don't think I didn't see that naughty word you so expertly dropped so neatly in your lil' episode. I would repeat it but I'm too much the good, Christian, wholesome type of gentleman.

    Yep.

    Funny post, Gary. Carry on and on and on.

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  2. Phew...........I can breath again.

    I wonder how many lives the 'full stop' has saved.

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  3. phew, I did...

    In fact I would like to sit out in your back garden listening to Devo and having a casual conversation with the yellow frog while I wear my pink stilettos.

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  4. Gary!! Hahaha, why oh do you even bother buying a CD? Get an Ipod and have it loaded with all your favorite tunes. Easy. And how did pink stilettos come in? Did the CD lady wear them? Did you wanna throw your shoes at her after you found out it was the wrong CD? What's up with me with all this questions? :p

    Fun Post and I could see that you were having fun holding your breath in that picture??

    Peace?
    Shanaz?

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  5. Hello Kelly,
    I thought you might have noticed that I did incorporate some observations that I have seen in other blog postings.
    'Devo', and by the way, I have listened to their latest CD and think it's really great. Must have been about 20 years between albums. Then, of course, we must not forget your hero, the legendary 'Toadie'.
    Glad you didn't make a big deal out of my, shall we say, entirely out character, expletive. I think it might be time to get back to some of my other genre styles. This experiment in grammar anarchy is over....for now:-)
    Thanks Kelly. On and on and on.

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  6. Hi John,
    Yes indeed. The full stop and the comma, for a bit of a breather during the sentence.
    The full stop or, 'period', as they say in North America may have saved many a life. No, not that type of 'period'. lol

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  7. Hi lifeshighway,
    The toad eagerly awaits as you groove to a bit of Devo whilst dancing in your pink stilettos :-)

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  8. Shanaz?,
    Get an Ipod? The 'talking' fridge listens to an Icepod. Is that similar, I wonder.
    Seriously. What? I have a CD player in my car and just felt like buying a CD to slap in it. Maybe I need an Ipod attachment to my car's CD player. All this technology. Yikes!
    Pink stilettos had been noted by me somewhere in blogland. I believe that the lady was wearing curly shoes with bells at the end. I could be wrong.
    Must go now. I've just reread my posting and I'm feeling rather 'blue'.
    Peace and a yellow toad, your way, Gary:-)

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  9. You are truely an original one-off my friend! There was a guy who wrote a whole book without using the letter 'e'; I challenge you to make a post with no letter 'e' in it!

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  10. Hi bazza,
    Now that sounds like a plan. I will try to do that fairly soon. Okay, how about a month or so from now or two months from now or I may just cry for not doing it at all. I don't know what I'm talking about. Was that okay for a start. I do wish so..

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  11. hi mr k! wow! hahaha. is that what is called being long winded or not short on words?

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  12. Hi Lenny,
    Hope you are okay and having a great summer. Bet you are having fun playing baseball:-)
    I think you need to be long winded to read my rather long sentence posting, in one go. Never short on words. For sure.
    Thank you Lenny, for your very nice comment.
    Take very good care, Gary :-)

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  13. Dear Gary,
    I used to think that you were just bad at grammar. Silly old me! Litttle did I realise that you were practicing "grammar anarchy". And I loved your single sentence with many funny asides.
    Anyway, in writing terms you are in good company, my friend, as James Joyce was a similar practitioner of grammar anrchy, his book "Ulysses" finishing off with a gargantuan 68 page sentence.
    Match that if you can!
    Lovely to see you the other week, by the way. Hope we can do it again.
    Yours with Very Best Wishes,
    David.

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  14. Dear David,
    My grammar can be deplorably bad. Yet, I do know, to varying degrees, what the so-called proper usage of sentence construction, should, or should not be.
    I don't take writing too seriously. I love to experiment with various writing styles. To write in a conformed way would stifle my therapeutic and hopefully creative process.
    I don't think that I would ever attempt a 68 page sentence. I think anyone who reads my rubbish would give up after reading about 100 words.
    It was very nice visiting you, David. Look forward to doing that again. I know you are in awe of my profound intellect.
    Kind wishes and a 'Best of the Osmonds' CD, your way, Gary :=)

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  15. Very interesting post. I don't understand it, but I find it very interesting. I usually find things I don't understand very interesting. But silly. And illogical.

    See! I can make no sense at all without using run-on sentences. That takes talent.

    Have a wonderful day, Gary.

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  16. Hi Joylene,
    So, based on what you have typed, I am led to think that you might find most of my blogs interesting because they usually make no sense at all.
    Does that make any sense? Let us hope not.
    Grammar anarchy! Aint it just totally awesome?
    Thank you, Joylene. I wish I had your talent. I think it would be good for me to try doing a blog made up of very short sentences. That is good. I like that.
    Have a great day, Joylene:-)

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  17. Dear Gary,
    Somehow that doesn't look like you in the picture you've used. So I was just wondering, is it, by any chance, Sean Ryder, notorious ex lead singer (perhaps singer is the wrong word!) of Manchester band "The Happy Mondays". If it is him, does it have any relevance to your post at all, or is this "pictorial anarchy" as well.
    Yours in Confusion,
    David.

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  18. ROFL... This is one sick post Gary good thing I've been practicing breath control for some time now otherwise I would have fainted and land my head on some pretty girl's boobs but who knows maybe another person who is exactly like me in a parallel universe is experiencing exactly what I said and when that carbon copy of myself wakes up after spending a few minutes being unconscious with his head on two normally large lumps belonging to a gorgeous member of the human species then I guess I could also sneak in a word such as fuck and and you would not even realise it because you are now fascinated by my story which I am going to end now because I need to make a quantum jump so that I can visit my other friends inside this cyber universe we call the internet.

    Give my regards to your fridge and the funky horses. Peace out!

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  19. Dear David,
    Ah, a follow up comment and a question.
    'Yippee-ippee-ey-ey-ay-yey-yey...'
    Sadly?, it is not Mr.Ryder. If he had been doing this blog I have no doubt there would have be a bountiful collection of profanities. You might think it was reminiscent of the time he was on Chris Evans' show, 'TGIF'.
    Even sadder, David, the photograph is of me with my cheeks (the facial ones) all puffed out. Note how 'blue' I went all in the cause of trying to doing an experimental blog. It's more like 'facial anarchy'. My face does not conform to any laws.
    Hope that 'unconfuses' you.
    All the best and a frisky yellow toad, your way, Gary

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  20. Hi Ryhen,
    How's my favourite inter-dimensional traveller?
    I want to thank you for taking the time to comment and indeed respond in such a way that I was fascinated with you and your trans-dimensional boobing because your mind or the mind of the carbon copy of you boobing merrily along the real and unreal possibilities which are possibly impossible possibly brings me around to the conclusion that the cyber world you describe has now set up super fast broadband on Uranus.
    The fridge, the funky horse and a very 'horny' yellow toad, send you messages of peace and a signed copy of a 'Devo'CD. 'Are we not men? We are Devo.' Well, it might be Devo, then again.....

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  21. Grammar Anarchy-I like it! What a relief to drop punctuation and word links. Multiple sentences are way over-rated. Very humorous post-I will look forward to exploring your site for more words of "wisdom".

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  22. Hello 'The Snee',
    Nuffink like a bit of grammar anarchy. I think it is therapeutic to break the 'rules'. Well, hang my head in shame lol
    I hope you managed to find some words of 'wisdom' on my site. I've have a look through my archives and I am none the wiser. More confused, but definitely none the wiser.
    You do a very clever blog and I have added you to my 'blog list'.
    Have a good weekend.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)

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I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.