BlogAir: The Mystery Flight.

When I got an email from BlogAir, the blogger's favourite airline, offering a free mystery flight, I couldn't resist.  Never mind some amazing alphabet challenge road trip, which can be found here: Who's Ready for the 4th Annual Post-Challenge Road Trip? The A to Z., this would be an air trip! 

I received my free ticket and boarding pass in the post.  With great anticipation, I headed off to Upper Lower Piggy Bottom International Airport.  I checked in with only my carry-on luggage as stipulated.  No extra baggage required.  "Passengers for BlogAir mystery flight, please head to boarding gate one." stated the male voice over the loudspeaker.  Considering Upper Lower Piggy Bottom International Airport only has one boarding gate, it was easy to find.

I sat in my allocated seat by the window.  Predictably, my window seat had a great view of just the wing.  Somehow, seeing a wing put me at ease.  I was so hoping that somebody on the other side of the plane could also see a wing out their window.  

I started talking to the lady sitting beside me.  "Are you excited about this mystery flight?" I asked her. "Oh yes!  I surely am! 
Being on this mystery flight has given me some inspiration for April Fool's Day, 2015 and the entire month of April, 2015" she replied. "Really?  Dare I ask what that means?" I stated.

Then she started rambling on and on and on....

"A is for Airplane!
B is for BlogAir!
C is for Cabin Crew!
D is for Delta Airlines!
E is for easyJet!
F is for Fairchild FC-1, a braced-wing monoplane, circa 1926!
G is for......"

"What are you doing?" I asked.  "Just getting ready for next year's A to Z!" she responded.

BlogAir mystery flight went to several airports.  Finally, the plane was full.  I sat there and listened to a cacophony of confusing chatter.  A whole plane load of people mumbling on about the letters of the alphabet.  Time to put on the complimentary headphones.  Oh no, the alphabet song is playing over and over and over again, on the complimentary headphones...

"Attention please!  This is your pawlet speaking.  Penny the pawlet. On behalf on the entire crew, we hope you've enjoyed the BlogAir mystery flight.  We'll be landing at Blogbank International Airport within the next thirty minutes.  Thank you for flying BlogAir, the blogger's favourite airline."

We proceeded through customs at Blogbank International Airport. From there we were directed onto buses that would take us to our final mystery destination.

We entered a gigantic convention centre about a ten minute ride from the airport.  We all settled down in our seats.  Everybody around me was still ranting and raving about the alphabet!  Make it STOP!!!

A hushed silence and amazement came over the alphabet audience. Up on the stage was Penny the pawlet now addressing us as her alter ego, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

"Welcome my friends and thank you for being a part of the mystery which now will be revealed.  Welcome to "The Alphabark Challenge, 2014!" tribute ceremonies."   .

Blog Air Is Better Than Virgin On The Ridiculous Airlines.

A huge amount of folks were wondering about "Blog Air".  Zillions upon zillions asked me what's with this Blog Air?  So, because I'm either lazy, too busy searching for a clone or have run out of ideas, here's a past post that gives you an idea about Blog Air, the blogger's favourite airline.  If you've read this before, either ignore it, skim through it or learn the fine art of advanced thumb-twiddling.  

Ah yes, Blog Air, in its latest attempt to diversify, to try new markets in the blogging sky, Blog Air has come up with the charter flight.  All seats are in the same class.  No distinction, just a no-frills experience where all bloggers are treated the same.

  

And so, what happened next on the inaugural flight of Blog Air charter?  Thought you'd never ask.  Due to some misunderstanding, some bloggers were caught unaware and had no idea that it was a charter flight.  Chaos and confusion ensued.

   

A self-obsessed, self-promoting blogger ended up sitting beside a shy, humble and oh so unassuming blogger. The self-obsessed, self-promoting blogger went on and on and on...about how great they were and how important it was to check out the links on their blog that linked back to all their other fabulous, must read postings. The shy, humble and oh so unassuming blogger, fell asleep. This was an outrage!  How dare anybody not pay attention to them!

An alleged comedy blogger ended up sitting beside a sarcastic blogger. The alleged comedy blogger proceeded to bore the hell out of the sarcastic blogger with their so-called comedy.  "Hey friend!  My comedy has been compared to that comedy 'genius', Russell Brand!"  "Oh?'" replied the sarcastic blogger, "I'm thrilled for you to be compared to Russell Brand, a comedy genius who looks like a reject from a "Pirates of the Caribbean" audition.   Well done, you!"

And horror of horrors. A crude dude blogger who insisted that almost every other word was some sort of Anglo-Saxon derivative, was sitting beside one of those most exciting of bloggers. Yes, the crude dude blogger was sitting beside a lady blogger who wrote such incredibly riveting stuff about how she, the hubby and the kids went to McDonald's and had an extra portion of fries!  She starting telling the crude dude blogger about the thrilling, adventurous life she led.  She even mentioned that her next posting was about how she put some extra chocolate chips in the cookies!  The crude dude blogger said, "That's f**king awesome!  F**king fantasy stuff!  I bet you and that hubby of yours had some right f**king orgies in your kitchen!"  To which she replied, "No, not really, but he just loves to add to some extra cream to my coffee."

  

And then there was the 'extremely popular' blogger with well over a zillion followers, sitting beside a blogger with very few followers. Now then, the blogger with over a zillion followers had only a couple of comments on their latest posting. This same blogger's icon could be seen all over the blogging world and they would leave amazingly sincere comments stating, "Great post!  Thanks for sharing.  I follow your blog!" The blogger with very few followers had several comments on their site. This might just tell you something.

  

Anyway, the blogger with over a zillion followers discovered that the blogger beside them had only a few followers. The zillion followers blogger yelled over at the flight attendant.  "Excuse me, this must be a mistake! Get me a seat next to somebody who is popular like me!"  "Sorry sir", stated the flight attendant, "This is a charter flight and all are seated equally. However, the exit door can be found just over there. Although you'll find that the first step is a 37,000 foot drop into the shark-infested sea below. 

Aha!  Look who's the pawlet, sorry, who's the pilot of Blog Air charter flight. Yes indeed, it's Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest airline pilot!

"Hello bloggers, this is your captain speaking. Captain Penny the pawlet . Welcome to this charter flight on the blogger's favourite airline, Blog Air. We're cruising at an altitude of 37,000 feet and expect to arrive at 'Blogland' international airport at approximately six P.M., local time

.  

Please enjoy your flight and remember to rejoice in the diversity of blogging. All different, all equal in a sharing, caring community. Thank you for flying Blog Air"