Instant Confusion.

*Twiddles thumbs...*  *Hums* and patiently waits for the latest batch of "IWSG" aka "I Was Seeking Gary" aka  "Insecure Writer's Support Group", to finish.  Yep, the first Wednesday of every month, you will note a bunch of writers discussing such topics as writing.  Although I don't get involved in groups, I'm a lone wolf, as such, you might note, that rather ironically, I've actually put in the link that takes you to that group.  So, if you aren't a part of that group, you might like to get involved the first Wednesday of next month.  What am I doing!

Moving on.

To start the New Year, I thought I'd share some of my profile updates from a certain social "notworking" site.  If you're linked in with me on that certain social notworking site, I hope you're okay that I've subjected you to a repeat performance.

I thought my instant coffee tasted kinda' weird.  It was rather "fowl" tasting.  "Aah! BISTO."  You bastard!

And here's a rushed photo of my son wearing a clock on his head.  And the word is, "clock", there is an "l" in the word.

Just finished attending the, "Comedy Knitting workshop."   It had me in stitches....

I went for a meal with a beautiful lady, wearing a low cut dress.  And, before you ask, it was her wearing the low cut dress.  Being such a gentleman, I did my utmost to maintain eye contact. "Excuse me!", she exclaimed, "My breasts are down here!"  Then I woke up.....

What Shall I Blog About?

The 'Apathy Workshop' has been cancelled due to lack of interest.

What shall I blog about? I have no idea. Perhaps I should invite a million monkeys, on a million typewriters, into my home, and see what we can formulate. Maybe not such a good idea. My home is not that big.

A friend of mine shared some great news with me the other day. "Gary, I have some excellent news. Our furry friend is becoming very obedient. He can roll over, play dead, sit, stay, beg, shake a paw and the really good news is that he is no longer crapping on the carpets!" "That's wonderful", I replied. "Enough already about your boyfriend. How's the dog doing?"

The following thoughts I have posted up on my 'Farcebook' profile page. So if you have seen these before, my sincere apologies.

Here's one for the British. I have this urge to challenge a 'Staffordshire Oatcake' to a duel at a local ranch. So that would be: 'Shoot out at the Oatcake Corral'. Here's one for you football (soccer) fans. If A.C. Milan played D.C. United, would the atmosphere be 'electric'? I've heard people mention about the speed of sound. So what is the speed of silence?

I was in a pub and this lady said she wanted to do a sketch of me. I looked at her somewhat reluctantly because I'm very shy. The lady said to me, "Oh don't worry Gary, I've been sketching for several months now." I responded, "Well then, you really should get some sleep." Now here comes the predictable part. She then proceeded to say, "If you're really comfortable with it, I would like to sketch you in the nude." "Fine with me." I stated. "Go ahead, take your clothes off."

The 'Improve Your Memory' Workshop has been cancelled due to the fact nobody can remember where, when, or at what time it is taking place. 'The What Shall I Blog About?' Workshop has been postponed because I have no idea what to blog about...

'Farcebook'.

This blog marks an anniversary for me. It is not my ninety-ninth blog, nor is it my one hundred and first blog, it is the number in between.
And now for something completely random. I shall now do a blog that has absolutely nothing to do with the title, or for that matter, the photograph. So, if you decide not to bother reading any further; I would most certainly understand. Those of you who do continue to read this blog, well done, or perhaps you are that bored, you want to see what transpires. Here we go, I have no idea what is going to happen.
"A metrosexual is a man who is meticulous about his appearance. He is always in fashion and very well groomed. Some people mistake a metrosexual for a gay guy." (source: WikiAnswers.com). Well then, so much for my definition of 'metrosexual'. Silly me, thinking that metrosexual was someone with rather bizarre fantasies about rapid transit. (you can come up with your own definition of 'metropolitan'). And when it comes to 'gay', well gee whiz, I'm old enough to remember when gay meant happily carefree . I mean really, I'm sure that Fred Flintstone and all the other folks in Bedrock were having a 'gay old time'.
If you are still here, lets continue on with this random ridiculous writing. Do you reckon that 'beginner witches' 'fly off the handle'? Do you think that attempt at a joke has some 'broom' for improvement? Did you know that it Britain they have trucks that are called 'articulated lorries'? How about that, well-spoken trucks. Did you hear about the rumour that they are thinking of setting up a new motorcar rally? You've read about the fellow who brought back tobacco and potatoes to Britain from 'the new world'? So rumour has it, we will soon be able to watch: 'The Sir Walter Rally'. In ending this disjointed paragraph, let me tell you this. In all the time I have lived in England, never has an officer of the law walked up to me and said: 'Hello, hello, hello, what's all this then?'
If you want to compliment someone really quickly, than may I suggest, you 'express' your appreciation. Do misbehaving marsupials with minor misdemeanours go to 'Kangaroo Court'? Okay then, I'm going now. Heading off to 'Area 51' (no, not to visit my relatives). Actually, I got this urge to throw a frisbee in front of their closed-circuit camera. I can count... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7. 'But what about 6?' you may ask. Well, if the truth be known, I afraid of that number and daren't ask anything about it. You recommend I read what? 'Everything you always wanted to know about '6' but were afraid to ask.'
If you are still here..I thank you. Yet again, I finished last in the naked run at a major sporting event....oh when am I gonna' end this losing 'streak'......