Grammar Anarchy.

The above photograph is a fusion of Punk Rock meets Pet Rock meets Bedrock.

This here blog is all about grammar anarchy and writing it any old way I like.  No plot.  No sense.  No rules. Or, in the words of those musical anarchists, The Sex Pistols, 'No future'.  You see, already, 'it dont make no sense' and that is a double negative and I don't care!   This will be a mishmash of moronic mishap material mayhem mostly making me more mildly mystified, maybe.
No antagonist and no protagonist.  No boring description of each character in details I don't care about.  No, this crap will have no sense of direction and will be completely disjointed and will not change your life for the better and will use 'and' as many times as I care too.
And thus, I continue with a whole bunch of dots...........The following are all those brilliant thoughts I had for a posting, but forgot to write down.  The ones I've said to myself, 'I'll remember that incredibly clever thought.  I'll show 'em how good I can write!'  That would be the incredibly clever thought that I've forgotten, five minutes later.  Okay, the following are all those clever and deeply profound thoughts I forgot.


Did you enjoy that?  What?  I told you this posting had no rules and, at this point, if you are still reading, you might dare continue and read some of the fascinating stuff I did remember to write down.  Then again, you might just think why I bothered.   So here you are, some random, totally unrelated garbage, or if you prefer, rubbish.  Have you watched baseball?  That would be cricket without the confusion.  There are two leagues, the National League and the American League.  In the American League, they have a dude who is called the 'designated hitter'.  All this dude does is hit and when I say 'hit', I mean the baseball.  What you might not know is that in the American League, they also have a guy who is known as the 'designated shitter'.  You see, there aint much time in baseball to go for a dump.  Not even the 'seventh inning stretch' is suffice.  I mean, how would it look if it's the star player's turn to go to bat, bottom of the ninth, two out, bases loaded and trailing by three runs and everyone's waiting cause the star dude is having a dump.  Thus, the designated shitter has one on his behalf.  Problem solved.  Now, the National League, based on this, might just think about getting a designated hitter and a designated shitter.  
The above paragraph was stupid and a rather feeble attempt at humour (humor).  Of course, ofcourse, I don't care,   So the guy making desserts looked at me in horror. 'Oh dear, I'm a trifle short!', he yelled.  'What are you talking about?  You must be at least six feet tall', I responded.  I really hate the expression 'at the end of the day'.  I hate it almost as much as folks who say, 'to be honest', which makes me wonder if they are not usually honest.  And when you say, 'you know', or 'you know what I'm sayin'?   No, I don't know and I don't care.  At the end of the day, to be honest, you know, you know what I'm sayin'?  And the next person who says, 'I'm not being funny'....well guess what?  You aint!  Kinda' like this blog.
So to end this grammar anarchy blog I was thinking about doing one of those writing 'mistakes' that leads one into the trap of formulating a run-on and on and on sentence that leaves established or aspiring writers gasping in disbelief that anyone would have the audacity to dare make a sentence drawn out and thus taking away any credibility of the writing because a shorter sentence would have been so much more correct n' stuff and so I will not do that and I'm now wondering just what the 'n' stuff', is.
Oh yeah, if you really care.  What do you think that drawing is on my shirt?  That would be the drawing below the exclamation mark!

Your Siesta Championship Training.

Madrid, Spain (CNN) -- 'An unemployed security guard from Ecuador is Spain's top snoozer.  Pedro Soria Lopez, 62, was able to nap for 17 minutes and register a 70-decibel snore while sprawled out on a couch in the middle of a crowded shopping mall in what's been billed as the first-ever Spanish National Siesta Championship.  The grand siesta champ won the first cash prize of 1,000 euros (about $1,400) in credit to purchase goods at the shopping center in Madrid.
The competitors started off by lying down on blue sofas, some in pajamas. Each got to eat a lunch ahead of time, then had twenty minutes to get as much z's as they could squeeze in.'  This fiercely contested event took place from October 14th until October 23rd.
Security guard.  Unemployed.  Likes to snooze.  Hmmmm....are you also wondering why he might be unemployed?  Still, $1,400 U.S., or $1,426 Canadian, or 890 British pounds, is a pretty darn decent amount of money for 17 minutes work, I mean rest.  

I have informed Penny, the lovable dog and internet star, about the Spanish National Siesta Championship.  Penny is thrilled at the thought of competing in next year's event and has taken up a strict training regime.  I would, dare I say, consider her to have an excellent chance of winning.  Note as she prepares herself for a bit of serious training.  She even used a traditional type blanket that is actually from Cancun, Mexico, but what the hell, to create the perfect ambience.  Clever girl!
So maybe you have a pet that would be an ideal candidate to compete in next year's eagerly anticipated contest.  I would add that bringing any hibernating animal would be cheating.  Besides, you try explaining to the cabin crew why there is a 9 foot tall, 700 pound grizzly bear, passed out beside you in the already cramped economy section.
You may have now given serious consideration into participating in next year's Spanish National Siesta Championship.  You might have even thought about asking your pet, if you have one, if they would like to enter such a stimulating contest.  Actually, by reading this posting, you may have suddenly realised that getting this far down the blog, has been a really terrific way of preparing yourself for your siesta championship training.   Anyway, you decide.  I leave the rest to you.
Must go now.......I'm getting rather drowsy. 

The Gold Framed Dog Blog Award.

It had been suggested that perhaps I create an award using the above photograph.  This was mentioned in a comment by our blogging friend at this wonderfully interactive site:  Along Life's Highway The Yard Art Game.  Here is the quote, "Gary, perhaps you should make your own award using the lovely shot of the framed Penny."

So, thanks for that, lifeshighway, and thus, I create a new blogging award.  'The Gold Framed Dog Blog Award', is born.

I will now pass on this award to five worthy recipients whose blogs clearly demonstrate their love for the precious creatures who share our fragile planet.  Now, the five recipients can do as they wish with this award.  They can forward it on or just proudly display the award on their site.  I leave it up to the discretion of the recipient.  

If you do choose to pass it on, it does not have to be forwarded to someone who has a dog.  No, if you know of a blog, for instance, that has a great love of garden slugs, hey, that's great!   If you visit a blog that thrills you with their affection for Vietnamese pot bellied pigs, I say, fantastic!   If you know of a blogger who just adores cats....well...ummm.....okay.  

So now, finally, I present to you the first ever winners of what will be, one of the most sought after, highly cherished, highly coveted awards in the history of blogging awards, ever!  

The Gold Framed Dog Blog Award, goes to:

Functional Kaos :  This blog written by, Mustang Sally, displays great affection and appreciation for the wonders of nature.  This blog is well worth a visit if you have not already done so.
Rot Du Jour  :  The writer of this blog, Sam, loves dogs and cats.  A witty and light hearted blog that I greatly enjoy reading.
Random Thoughts  :  Sharon, at this beautifully written blog, tells inspiring, witty and charming stories about her adventures with her lovely dog, Macy.
Soundoff  :  Heather, the writer of this thought provoking and inspirational blog, has much love for her cherished pets.  I know that she considers them as family members.  Her thoughtful blog is a favourite of mine.
knightrider  :   My dear friend, Wayne, has just started blogging and I know how much his beloved animals mean to him.  His ongoing tales will, I know, be a source of inspiration.

So that's just about it.  This award is dedicated to those I consider to have great respect and love for all our beautiful creatures.  I now set this award free.  Free to roam and bring joy to so many deserving recipients.

Alone, But Not Lonely.

It was a late afternoon on a cold and crisp autumn day.  Penny surveyed the garden and I reckoned she loved the golden leaves.

Penny sat amongst the golden autumn leaves.  Such a happy and playful dog.  I looked at her and I knew, I just knew, that Penny could sense how much she was loved.

I went for a late night stroll in the neighbourhood.  It was bitterly cold.  The glistening moon and the glowing street lamps, cast eerie shadows upon my icy car.

Back inside, back inside my warm and cosy house, I gazed out the living room window and marvelled at the rising moon.   And I knew, I just knew, that I have a wonderful life.

Sleep beckoned me.  I went to my bedroom and watched the glowing shades, soothing shades of orange and grey, dance upon my walls.  I looked out my bedroom window and observed the setting moon on a cold, clear and quiet night.  I felt content and recalled a day, a magical day, that would fill my dreams with happy thoughts.
I spend a lot of time on my own.  Devoid of human contact.  Yes, I am alone, but not lonely.  For I'm comfortable with who I am and stay focused on a positive future. I've come along way since some dark and frightening times nearly destroyed the last remaining shreds of a fragile dignity.  I'm very proud that I never gave up  Thus, I know, I just know,  as I continue to work through my trauma, that one day soon, I will open my front door and embrace all the world has to offer.
I've so much to be grateful for and I thank you for reading this.  With respect, Gary.

A Heated Debate.

There has been overwhelming popular demand that I submit a photograph of a genuine British type central heating radiator.  Okay, one person, Sam at, Rot Du Jour, begged me, I mean, asked me if I would send a picture. Here is her impassioned plea, "Gary-I would be extremely interested to see what one of these 'weird' radiators looks like-do send a picture eh?"  Well, I will do better than that.  I share with you some fascinating photographs of a British radiator.  And, just when you thought your day couldn't get any better.

Now, you might just be aware that British weather is not exactly the most ideal.  If you go to hang out your laundry you are virtually guaranteeing a torrential downpour.  This is where the much loved British gas central heating radiator becomes oh so convenient.
Just think what a welcoming sight it is for visitors to come into the house and see a varied collection of undergarments flung over the much loved British gas central heating radiator.  A common British conversation, in a typical British house, starts like this, 'A very good day to you, come on in.  Do you like my underwear?'
For your information, in case you're taking notes, I will tell you what's in the above photograph:  A partial view of my curtains, four pairs of underwear, one authentic Canadian 'toque', a wayward stuffed hedgehog, 'Tails' the fox, a very confused garden gnome, and of course, the warm and reassuring, British gas central heating radiator.

There is one problem that I have noted with British gas central heating radiators.  The heating seems to stay in one spot.   This means that the radiator becomes a meeting place, a gathering of all creatures, great and small.
So, as I observe the huddled masses congregating around the radiator, I got to thinking about the good old days in Canada.  I have fond memories of the forced air natural gas heating that would come whooshing out the vents on the floor.  And speaking of natural gas.  Ah yes, the fun we used to have.  The hot air would blast out of the vent.... and I would let rip....a massive fart!  That way, said fart would circulate and waft around the house, and all, within range, would get to enjoy...my pungent aroma.  It's good to share.  Sadly, if I tried the same thing on a British radiator, I know I'd be most disappointed.  Knowing my luck, the end result would be a burnt butt from getting too close to the radiator.
I'm fully aware that this intriguing topic has thrilled you to the point of blissful euphoria.  And with this in mind, I'm going to submit, for your viewing delight, one last photograph.  I hope you are sitting comfortably.

Yes, behold, the great and the mighty, genuine British thermostat, photographed, on location, in my home.  I hope you managed to contain your excitement.
'I wonder if this posting will cause a heated debate?   Did I mention that we have to 'bleed' our radiators?   If anyone reads this they will think it's a load of hot air...and Gary....why are you talking to yourself?'

No, You're Not Imagining This.

Seriously, you are not imagining this.  This is not some sort of parallel universe.  And no, you are not stuck in some 'Groundblog Day' type situation.  Seriously, you are not imagining this.  This is not some sort of parallel universe.  And no, you are not stuck in some 'Groundblog Day' type situation.
Another highly intelligent blogger has had the good sense to bestow the much loved and very much cherished, 'One Lovely Blog Award', to the ever so humble, ever so shy, me!   Did you note the exclamation mark to highlight dramatic impact?!  Now then, not one to make overly long and boring acceptance speeches, bordering on inane and incoherent gibberish, I will get on with and thank the critically acclaimed blogger who is named 'Sam'.
Sam, I salute you, in a very nice way, for bestowing this award upon me.  Sam at, 'Rot Du Jour', does an extremely clever and funny blog.  Sam, is sending me money.  I'm joking.  Sam's blog is well worth a visit, if you have not already done so, and can be discovered at, (yes I know, get on with it!), can be discovered here at this link that I am now going to finally place on here:  Rot Du Jour   I should also mention, as a public service, that Sam is desperate for a working can-opener.  Maybe you can help.
Now, time honoured tradition states that I evidently should pass on the, One Lovely Blog Award, to equally worthy recipients as the awesome and incredible me.  Note my ongoing modest theme, here.  However, being a bit of an anarchist, I'm going to do something slightly different.  If you are on my 'Bog Roll', sorry 'Blog Roll', please know that I am thinking about what a great blogger you are.  If you are not on my Blog Roll, please know that I am also thinking about you and what a great blogger you are.  Did I get around that okay?  Hmmm.
Anyhow, I am going to forward this award to just one very special young fellow.  A young lad who has touched the hearts and minds of so many of us.  A young chap who understands and embraces the power and the magic of the written word.  Lenny is a wonderfully inspiring young writer and it's my honour and privilege to pass on the, One Lovely Blog Award, to him.  It's Lenny's birthday on October 20th and I know you will join me in wishing this very special young guy, a very happy birthday.  You can find Lenny's blog at the following link:  Lenny's World  

And for no reason, whatsoever, here is a framed photograph of Penny, internet star and a thoroughly delightful dog......

Happy Thanksgiving Day, Canada!

I would like to wish all my friends and family, in Canada, a peaceful and positive Thanksgiving Day.  I will be thinking about you.
So I thought it would be really neat eh to tell you some 'facts' about this great nation that you might not already know.  Okay, I'm cheating a bit, because some of the stuff below has been used by me in previous blogs.   Hey, I'm lazy and in a rush to get this out on the right date.
Did you realise that it was a couple of Canadians who basically sorted out the Universe?  Please allow me to explain. Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner) of Star Trek fame, is Canadian.  You remember this famous line? 'Space... the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship 'Canada eh'.  Then again, there was also Commander Adama, (Lorne Greene) another Canadian trying to get things sorted out in space and the leader of a noble mission.  Do you recall him saying this?  "Fleeing from the Cylon tyranny, the last Battlestar, 'Galacticanada', leads a ragtag, fugitive fleet, on a lonely quest—for a shining planet known as Earth."  So there you go, some overwhelming 'proof' just how vital Canadians have been in our space type adventures.
Wait there's more.  Let me tell you about an invention by a truly great Canadian scientist.  The year was 1962, the scientist in question, Edward Asselbergs, created something so significant to the betterment of mankind, that other events of 1962, such as John Glenn being the first American to orbit the earth, pale by comparison.  That's right, Mr. Asselbergs brought to the world.... instant mashed potatoes.  
Right then, the above two paragraphs were 'copied and pasted' from one of my previous blogs.  The next part is now bonus fascinating information about Canada.   Here are some famous female Canadian singers, Alanis Morissette,  Avril Lavigne,  Nelly Furtado,  Shania Twain and whoops, Celine Dion.  Here are some well known Canadian male singers, Neil Young, Bryan Adams, Michael Buble and whoops, Terry Jacks.   Here are some famous Canadian bands, Rush, Steppenwolf, Bachman Turner Overdrive, The Guess Who and whoops, NickelBack.   
Briefly, cause you are probably falling asleep reading this, here are some famous Canadian folks from the entertainment industry you may have thought were American.  Raymond Burr aka 'Perry Mason' aka 'Ironsides'.  Dan Akroyd,  Michael J. Fox,  Rick Moranis,  Donald Sutherland, Leslie Nielsen, Tommy Chong (as in Cheech and Chong...'cough, cough')  and whoops, Jim Carrey. And to conclude this paragraph, here are just a few Canadian actresses that you may be familiar with, Margot Kidder, Neve Campbell, Mary Pickford , Catherine O' Hara and whoops, Pamela Anderson.
Now there were plenty more Canadians I could of mentioned such as Glenn Ford, Mike Myers, Joni Mitchell and Leonard Cohen, but I wont.   In closing, here's a bit of trivia for you.  The board game 'Trivial Pursuit' was invented by a couple of Canadian dudes named, Scott Abbott and Chris Haney.  Hmmm...trivia about Trivial pursuit.
Finally, yes really, finally, in closing,  it is thought that Canadians say 'eh' a lot eh.  They think that Canadians say 'how's it goin' eh?', all the time eh.  Well eh, I can tell you eh, that's not true eh.   So then, how do you spell, 'Canada'?  'C eh n eh d eh'.
Have a happy Thanksgiving Day, Canada!