Monday 1 September 2008

A Conspiracy Theory?

I have a theory that conspiracy theories may be a conspiracy by people who write about conspiracy theories to sell more books about conspiracy theories. Conspiring, conspiracy theory writers? Then again, this is just a theory. I wouldn't want conspiracy theory writers conspiring against me and starting a conspiracy theory about sell more books about conspiracy theories.
So there I was, strolling down the street in the pouring rain. Loaded down with carrier bags after another long trek to the shops. As I walked along, drenched from head to toe, I heard the oncoming roar of an automobile. The dude in a gas-guzzling beast of a car pulled over and said to me: "You know you should really try to use less carrier bags. We all need to do our bit to save the environment."
Now then, speaking of the old dog versus cat debate. Guide dog, police dog, sheepdog ( no, it turns out, that it aint part sheep, part dog), watchdog (no that isn't some terrier wearing a timepiece) and ofcourse we have the sniffer dog (don't ask). Guide cat? Well no. Police cat? I don't think so. Sheepcat? Cats hurding sheep? You're having a laugh. Watchcat? More like: 'watch cat' rip up your rubbish and shit in your vegetable patch. Sniffer cat? Oh yeah they sniff alright. Sniffing around for food. 'Hey you useless human, where the hell is my meal?' Meow...
Once again, I leave you with a couple of random musings. Some of what I am about to write may be true, some may not. You decide. This American dude walked up to me and asked for directions. "Excuse me sir? Could you tell me how to get to 'Li cester'?" I told him that it was pronounced "Lester." "That sure is funny" he replied. "It aint said the way it's spelt. We wouldn't talk that way back in Little Rock!" "Little Rock, that's in 'Ar kan sas'?" I asked. "No man!" He said. "It's pronounced 'Ar kan saw'!" I overheard a woman in a supermarket state the following to the person she was with: "I need chicken breasts." Hey, whatever.
To be honest, I think that people who say 'to be honest' are perhaps not telling the truth. To be honest. You know, I hate it when people keep saying 'you know'. Well, guess what? Maybe I don't know, you know? So, to be honest, you know, this blog may have been all part of some conspiracy theory. Over to you conspiracy theory writers.


  1. Hi, now this time your have gone completely!!!

    Great fun, keep it up.

    Small ands nappy

  2. Hey there smallandsnappy. I guess you noticed that the blog started out about talking about conspiracy theories and conspiracy theory writers. It then proceeded to appear to have nothing to do with conspiracy. Perhaps that is a conspiracy about not appearing to be conspiracy. That's right Philip, I have no idea what I'm talking about..or do I?
    Yours in conspiracy, or lack of..klahanie aka Gary?

  3. Greetings everyone. Now I'm getting paranoid. keeps crashing on me. Has anyone else been getting this problem lately? Maybe it's a conspiracy:-)

  4. Well I can

    Your friend


  5. Hey Philip. Thanks for visiting tonight. I hope that my blogging sign in problems have been resolved. Heck, at this rate I might actually be able to do another blog.

  6. I think Blogger had another scheduled problem to fix for Monday. Friday crashed me twice. Also this post was really funny; coud you be on to another calling like comediene? dcrelief
    Zimbio: "Remove the Rose Colored Glasses."


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.