The 'Apathy Workshop' Has Been Cancelled Due To Lack Of Interest.

The 'Apathy Workshop' has been cancelled due to lack of interest.  Now then, you may note the above photograph.  It is a picture of a hedgehog advising you to stop and consider not reading this blog for all the following reasons.
This posting will be completely and utterly ridiculous.  It will be a series of disconnected, random musings of someone who obviously has nothing worthwhile to write about.
Right then...here goes.  Here's how to be charmingly reassuring.  Walk up to a friend and say the following, 'Hey, my good friend.  I don't care what all the others say about you; I think you're okay.  It doesn't matter to me that everyone else hates your guts; I think you're just fine.  Heck, I refuse to believe all that malicious gossip that has been spread around about you and your not-so-secret fetish for public transport.  I mean, really!  Does it matter that you are a 'Metrosexual'?'
Speaking of outrage.  Imagine my shock when this guy told me that his wife had been cheating on her boyfriend?
Here are a few definitions.  'Con artist'- someone who does paintings of prisoners.  'Cross-dresser'-a person who gets really angry when they can't find matching socks. 'Homophobe'-the fear of homogenised milk products.  'Homo Erectus'-(I'll let you figure out the definition of that one) 'Prick up your ears'-(I won't tell you the meaning of that one.  But ouch and no thanks!).
Apparently, Barack Obama, has been learning Burlesque dancing.  'Yes, we can can!'
This completely and utterly ridiculous posting is almost finished.  Hopefully, you did not read any of the above and took the advice of our friend, the hedgehog.  So based on that; you wont be reading the conclusion that goes like this.  'Do I detect a tear?'  Said my friend in their posh English accent.  So I checked my trousers to see if the split had returned to a rather embarrassing location.  'You look like you have been crying', my friend added.  So now it is time for me to get the lead out.  It's nearly time to go.  Time to get the lead out and attach it to the dog's collar.
Before I go..yes I know, get on with it.  If you did bother to read the above; you may have noted that some of the rubbish (garbage) written in this blog has been used by me before.  Just shows that I'm getting lazy.  So in the spirit of laziness; here's another old one of mine.  This guy told me that his hobby is 'racing pigeons'.  I asked him, 'Who wins?  You or the pigeon?'  Oh, one last thing.  The 'Comedy Knitting Workshop' had me in stitches.....

All Over The Place.

Apparently, I can be 'in bits', 'beside myself', don't know whether I'm coming or going, 'shattered', 'falling apart', or even 'cracking up'. Little wonder then that I'm 'all over the place'. I have actually been told, by quite a few people, that they 'love their children to bits'. Well ouch. So in theme with the title of this blog; I shall now write haphazard, disjointed musings that will be...well...all over the place.

I am often puzzled why some folks think my name is the abbreviation or Richard Edward. 'Hey 'Dick Ed'! how are you?' Conclusions, conclusions. Now, if you were able to leap over the words in that last sentence; I suppose you would be 'jumping two conclusions'. Do you think that lumberjacks have an axe to grind? To end this particular paragraph, and for no particular reason; I end it with the following. I was thinking about placing a bet on a butterfly race because I like a bit of a 'flutter'. (If you are British you will know that 'flutter' means a small bet. If you are not British, now you know).

I recall a time when I was coordinating a meeting for a mental health charity. The meeting was disrupted by some smug, self-important chap who seemed to think it was perfectly fine for him to upset our meeting. I asked him kindly to vacate the premises, what with the sensitive nature of the proceedings. Well, he responded by saying; "Do you know who I am!?" 'Why don't you know who you are?', I thought. Due to the potential of causing the group members undue anxiety; I stated, 'Tell somebody who effin' cares'. Okay, I didn't say that either. Tempted as I was to give this guy a somewhat verbal torrent, I did calmly say that I didn't know who he was and for him to please come back after the meeting. Yes, he did leave. He turned out to be the chap that supplied the premises, free of charge. Still, he should of known better.

I did state that this blog would be all over the place. So lets now continue by ending with some further disjointed, totally random thoughts from the depths of my silliness. Have you noticed those hovering insects wearing watches? They are, of course, 'time flies'. Have you seen those hovering insects that have doors, double-glazed windows and a roof attached to them? They are, of course, 'house flies'. You know, I wear 'my heart on my sleeve'. Might explain some of the funny looks I get. I'm very fast at totalling up numbers, I hasten to add. Just about sums it up. And speaking of summing it up...this ridiculous posting is almost finished. It's Friday night, my son is in Prestatyn. Still, I have my two friends in the picture, a hedgehog and a monkey, to keep me company. Oh, and not forgetting, 'Penny', the Jack Russell dog. Penny says : "Gary would you please hurry up and publish your silly blog. I need to go for a walk." I did mention that this blog would be all over the place. "Okay Penny, lets go for that walk."