Thursday, 20 September 2007

Please Stop! Do Not Go Any Further.

You're not still here are you? Please do not read this blog for the following reasons. There will be absolutely nothing worth reading in this blog. This blog will continue onwards into a random collection of disjointed, totally unrelated series of silly observations. So now that I have not got your attention, I shall carry on typing.....typing, safe in the knowledge, that you have most likely stopped reading this blog.
Right then, lets continue. Nobody is reading this blog now. Right? Wait, who are you? Has curiosity got the better of you? Okay then, 'prick up your ears'. (now that sounds like a pretty painful proposition). I thought you were not going to read this blog. This blog has no value to mankind and will not make the world a better place.
I have been watching the highlights of the Women's Football World Cup. Large, enthusiastic crowds cheering on top-quality womens football. I have been most impressed by the high standard and superb skills. Although I am a bit gutted by the fact Canada got knocked out of the tournament by the Australians. I am puzzled that one football tradition has not caught on in the ladies game. At the end of a game in the World Cup, men exchange tops. So come on ladies, why aren't you doing the same?
Now here's a bizarre scenario. Can you imagine having that movie 'voice-over' man as a family member? Here's a typical morning in the house of 'voice-over' man. "Breakfast is ready dear" yells his loving but very bewildered wife. Cue voice-over man: "BREAKFAST...a new beginning. See the rebel sausages unite with the free-range eggs in their battle to destroy the evil force that lurks under the cereal bowl. Who will win this breakfast battle?" ("BREAKFAST BATTLE..coming to a theatre near you).
Some folks have said that I'm seem to be getting quite upset recently. "Why don't you take an 'Anger-Management' course?" they suggested. Say what? Now I reckon if I take one of those 'Anger-Management' courses, I would lose my job. I mean really, why would I want to 'anger management'?
If you are still reading this blog..and for the life of me..I don't know why you would. I warned you that it was going to be a random collection of disjointed, totally unrelated series of silly observations. (Please refer, that's if you are still here, to paragraph one, which you shouldn't have been reading will notice that the preceding sentence has already been used).
I saw an advertisement in the newspaper. It was promoting something about a 'Reading Festival'. So I thought: "hey cool, that seems like a good idea, I'll go to that." So I headed off to the Reading Festival, which was, coincidently, in the town of the same name. Imagine my surprise, that upon my arrival, armed with a bunch of my favourite books....I saw before me, loads of people rolling about in mud and listening to that evil rock n' roll.
If you have been reading this blog. I did warn you , I have been wasting your time. Then again, you may have skipped the rest of the blog to get to this part. Either way, you could not resist checking out how this blog ends. Well it ends like this...please read the title of my blog...


  1. :-) I read it all - with a smile and a knowing nod of approval. I read your blogs in your accent - how odd is that! Nice one Klahanie

  2. Emma?
    Blog? What blog? You read my blogs in my accent? This is getting surreal. Let me guess..when you do my sounds like somebody from a trailer park in Alabama!
    Y'all have a nice day. Well golly gosh darn. Yee haa!!!

  3. He-he - "anger management" - in a long British tradition of cocking a snook at anyone who has the temerity to be in charge. Despite all warnings to the contrary it was worth reading to the end - Txxx

  4. Your blog has put a silly smirk on my face, impressed me with your wit, and also confirmed what i already know which is that you are mad as f##k!! Keep on going mate, you give every blog a silver lining!!

  5. Oh my days - I also read your comments in your accent!

  6. Emma!
    I just read your comment about reading my comments in my accent.
    So I have just re-read my comments in your accent.
    "Good in teet duck?"
    As for you say, and I quote: "you are mad as f##k!!" What? When have you ever seen me angry eh? Heck I'm so cool I go to the freezer section of Morrisons to warm up.
    Tone! "cocking a snook"? I don't want to know what that means..but it sounds very kinky! :-)

  7. HI klahnie
    thank you for your comment .Hope to hear from you again.

  8. I don't know how I missed this intro to your fine blog!

    Brilliant. Bloody brilliant my friend :)

  9. Good grief, I had no idea that you commented on this archived posting, until now, Wendy :)
    I learnt since then, to have follow-up comments emailed to me...
    And now, I shall go because there is no reason whatsoever to read what I just wrote and now, yes now, I shall go and.......

  10. I am so glad I read this, wow, you have sooooo grown in your writing abilities, and developed your talent to what it is today......just awesome!!! Thank you, this gives me hope in not quitting my blog writing, because the thoughts of doing such a thing has popped into my mind at low periods of depression or anxiety. So with that being said, I will just say this....I'm here waiting for you to come back to your old creative self.....and I AIN'T goin nowhere DUDE! So there...:-P Wishing you fuzzy thoughts of comfort......later....

  11. Hi Manic Chef,
    Why thank you for commenting on this very archived blog :) I hope that my writing had become better. Maybe the valuable lessons taught to me by Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, have sunk into my feeble human brain!
    So you see, my blog is getting close to five years old. In the beginning, there was very little interaction. Now I'm blessed to feel apart of a kind and caring blogging community. A community that you are an integral part and I know you will be inspired to continue with your writing. You have an important message and I hope more folks will become aware of your terrific site :)
    Be inspired and please, never give up on verbalising your writing skills. I shall endeavour to write something fairly soon. I continue to challenge the negative thoughts that try to overwhelm me.
    Positive and peaceful thoughts, your way, Gary :)


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.