Thursday, 21 October 2010

Alone, But Not Lonely.

It was a late afternoon on a cold and crisp autumn day.  Penny surveyed the garden and I reckoned she loved the golden leaves.

Penny sat amongst the golden autumn leaves.  Such a happy and playful dog.  I looked at her and I knew, I just knew, that Penny could sense how much she was loved.

I went for a late night stroll in the neighbourhood.  It was bitterly cold.  The glistening moon and the glowing street lamps, cast eerie shadows upon my icy car.

Back inside, back inside my warm and cosy house, I gazed out the living room window and marvelled at the rising moon.   And I knew, I just knew, that I have a wonderful life.

Sleep beckoned me.  I went to my bedroom and watched the glowing shades, soothing shades of orange and grey, dance upon my walls.  I looked out my bedroom window and observed the setting moon on a cold, clear and quiet night.  I felt content and recalled a day, a magical day, that would fill my dreams with happy thoughts.
I spend a lot of time on my own.  Devoid of human contact.  Yes, I am alone, but not lonely.  For I'm comfortable with who I am and stay focused on a positive future. I've come along way since some dark and frightening times nearly destroyed the last remaining shreds of a fragile dignity.  I'm very proud that I never gave up  Thus, I know, I just know,  as I continue to work through my trauma, that one day soon, I will open my front door and embrace all the world has to offer.
I've so much to be grateful for and I thank you for reading this.  With respect, Gary.


  1. ((Gary))

    Sometimes I don't know what to say, but know that I am with you.

  2. Hi Gucci Mama,
    And, at gone 4:00 A.M., here, and 8:00 P.M., there, I sense your positive and caring presence and I thank you.

  3. I love those pictures of Penny in the garden-I've long been convinced that animals are our little guardian angels-they are steadfast and loyal friends. This is a really beautiful post and I'm glad that you are content in your life right now. It makes me think of that saying 'Without darkness, there would be no light'
    Have a good day/night eh?

  4. It is a lovely post. I envy your sense of purpose, your hope for the future. When I can dream again I believe the loneliness will fade away for me, at least that is my hope.

    Bright blessings

  5. Sometimes ALONE is good and under appreciated. Lonely sucks but alone is very good. I would venture a guess that you are never lonely in blogland!

  6. Wow. You've really described your mood and surroundings well, Gary. I'm glad your strength helped you out of that abyss of alcoholism and you're able to keep a positive outlook. I agree with Donda, with what she said in her comment.

    And I imagine Penny is not only a happy dog but a lucky one to have a caring owner and companion in you.

    Take care and nighty night

  7. Dear Gary,
    How could you be lonely, what with all your blogging pals and me, your Robin Hood-alike, merry, delusional and paranoid man-freind?
    You express some really nice sentiments with your usual writing verve, and its good that you are so positive in your outlook.
    I suppose I often speak of how mental ill health can leave many isolated in its wake, but you aspproach this with a lightness of spirit and wit, which I think is not easy to do.
    You are truly one of the "good guys", Gary, so never forget that you thoroughly deserve your place in the world.
    To my hippy, hirsute, and thankfully, happy friend, I wish you many more "happy thoughts" and "wonderful days",
    P.S. I'll be in touch about your forthcoming "bullshitting" hour at the Pathways Group concerning blogging, hopefully some time next week.

  8. I enjoyed your post and the pictures. I agree with Donda on her comment as well. ALONE is often way too "under appreciated."

  9. Thank you for sharing, Gary, for the wonderful thoughts and beautiful photographs. Hugs.. xx

  10. Well put Gary...moon watching, golden leaves, and peaceful reflection are a beautiful thing....we are all lucky that you share such beauty with us.

  11. There are times in life solitude can be a blessing. Great post, Gary.
    The enigmatic, masked blogger

  12. I like the simple things you noticed that most people don't.

  13. You sum up everything that I feel, Gary. I love it. I also think Penny looks absolutely cute amongst the dried leaves of fall.


  14. Hi Michelle,
    I thank you. Your encouraging comment means a lot.
    In kindness, Gary.

  15. I got a warm glow from just reading this post; it's almost like poetry in places. I am a very positive person and I really like to see positive thought from people who might be excused for feeling sorry for themselves. Lovely post, my friend!

  16. Hi Sam,
    Thanks for your kind and thoughtful words.
    That's the beauty about animals. They make no judgement calls and display total, unconditional loyalty and love.
    Sam, I'm happy with who I am. That is for sure. I'm convinced that maintaining a positive attitude will help me stay focused on all the goodness beyond any dark.
    Thanks again, for such a lovely response. I'm not sure if it's day or night. Half the time I don't even know what time zone I'm in:-)
    With respect and positive wishes, your way, Gary.

  17. Hi Sally,
    Dear lady, please do not envy me. I know that within you beats the heart of someone who can embrace a brighter future.
    I have had some very dark times, yet my inner resolve was determined to change my environment. First, I had to change the environment within and not let negative speculation, overwhelm me. I realised that we all have the right to a peaceful and happy life.
    I can tell you are a kind and decent lady. Here's hoping that your loneliness subsides through the inspiration and support we all can provide each other. I am here for you. May hope be the catalyst that inspires your beautiful mind.
    In kindness, peace and empathy, Gary.

  18. Hi Donda,
    I totally agree with what you have noted.
    Being alone can be quite the blessing. Sure, I spend a lot of time by myself, but I don't feel lonely because I keep active with positive distractions. One of them, as you quite rightly observed, is my fantastic interaction with those in blogland. I thank you for being such an integral part of this wonderful and supportive community.
    With respect and kind wishes, your way, Gary.

  19. Hi Kelly,
    Thanks buddy for your kind and considerate words.
    As you know, one of the goals of my blog was to try and be a source of hope and comfort for others. A real sense of help each other, we help ourselves.
    My friend, your ongoing support and encouragement has been a real source of inspiration. I am very grateful to you.
    And Donda, is so right in what she so kindly said in her comment.
    I shall continue to remain positive about the now and the future. Penny says that she feels happy and content knowing how much she is loved:-)
    Take very good care and thanks again.
    With respect and peace, your way, Gary.

  20. Dear David,
    Well, one thing's for sure, I sure aint lonely. I've got plenty of distractions to keep me occupied. My blogging pals and making my environment a positive and hopeful place, keeps me going. I keep thinking that my life is pretty darned awesome. I make it so.
    As someone who actually has had the great fortune of meeting me in 3D reality; you know that maintaining a sense of humour and not dwelling on the negative, has been a most vital and therapeutic tonic.
    I am totally genuine in my caring and concern for others. Like you, my friend, also a good guy, I look forward to a brighter future where the unfair stigma that surrounds mental health issues, is sent to the history books.
    Looking forward to my blogging bullshit hour of fame at the Pathways Group. If they are really good, I will let them have my autograph:-)
    All the very best, David.
    Happy and smiley thoughts, your way, Gary.

  21. Greetings MaDonna Maurer,
    Thank you very much for your kind comment.
    I appreciate alone, very much. Donda's thoughtful reply was spot on. Being comfortable with who I am makes it okay to spend a lot of time by myself. Alone? Quite a lot. Lonely? Nah, I'm having a great time keeping active and interacting with nice bloggers such as your good self.
    Kind wishes, Gary.

  22. Hi Carole,
    Thank you. Your kindness and encouragement has meant so very much.
    I hope you are having a peaceful and positive day.
    Hugs, your way, Gary x

  23. Hi Rebecca,
    That's really sweet of you. I know that we both take the time to savour the wonder and the beauty that is all around.
    It is my pleasure to share a bit of my world. Rebecca, your are a good soul.
    In kindness and much respect, Gary.

  24. Greetings Masked Friend,
    Solitude and being alone with our thoughts, a time for gentle reflection, can be a wondrous thing.
    Thank you.
    In peace and empathy, Gary.

  25. Hi Chris,
    I think it is most rewarding to take a few moments out from our hectic lives and truly appreciate the simple things.
    I think of it as keeping in touch with the inquisitive and curious nature of our 'inner child'.
    Thank you Chris.
    With respect, Gary.

  26. Hi Shanaz,
    Reading your beautiful blog has made me realise just how much you can relate to what I tried to convey.
    Penny, who frolicked amongst the leaves, thanks you for thinking she looks cute:-)
    Thank you, Shanaz.
    Peaceful and magical wishes, your way, Gary :-)

  27. Hi bazza,
    I'm so pleased that this posting gave you a warm glow. Indeed, that was my intention.
    For it is actually a blog about embracing positivity. I take full responsibility for my life. I no longer have any time for those who blame everyone else for their plight. Change starts from within and the changes I have made in my life, for the better, fill me with a sense of pride and enthusiasm.
    Thank you, my friend, it is my honour to be associated with positive and decent people like you.
    With respect and good wishes, Gary.

  28. Dear Gary,yes, it is so important that you can enjoy your own company when you are alone, it's about learning to like yourself and appreciating the wonderful and simple things that life has to offer. A wonderful thought provoking post Gary, I love Penny so much and it must give you a good feeling to know that she feels loved. Best wishes Di

  29. Hi Gary,

    Yes animals have always been a great comfort to me in life-they are always happy to see you and I love that!
    It's no small feat to learn to be happy with who you are-not many people can say that about themselves-kudos to you :)
    (and you're very welcome for the 'lovely response' i'm glad you thought so)

  30. Wow, Gary! You write so very well! I feel like I was standing there with you and feeling the feelings. I can certainly relate to being able to be alone but not lonely. It took me a long time to get there but I discovered that I really like my company and that I don't need to be in a crowd to feel better. I love how vivid you are in your speak but I think you are a very talented photographer as well. It's like the punctuation in a sentence. Just wouldn't be the same without it. Love you lots

  31. Dear Diane,
    Thanks Diane. It really is all about being comfortable about who we are. I could sit here and feel sorry for myself because I'm alone a lot. Yet, I'm fine with it all. I have friends far away and I have good and decent blogging friends, such as you.
    I really am a lucky guy and I appreciate all I have.
    And dear Penny, a much loved dog who is a wonderful companion.
    I hope you have a lovely weekend.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)

  32. Hi Sam,
    Hey, thanks for the extra comment. That is really nice of you.
    Our animal friends can be a great source of comfort. It is reassuring to know how much they care.
    I really am comfortable with who I am. I could have easily completely collapsed and given up on life. Instead, I chose to embrace a more positive way. My resilience and determination has given me the upper hand in my challenging the 'inner critic'.
    And thank you for a second lovely response. You are a very kind lady. I am grateful to know you.
    Have a good weekend, eh:-)
    With respect, Gary

  33. Hi Heather,
    Thank you so much for such flattering compliments. It truly means a great deal.
    My dear friend, I knew you would relate to this. Your attitude to life, your positivity and determination, indeed, your ability to be comfortable with your own company, is testimony to your inner spirit.
    Thanks Heather. I love you guys and soon, I will have the great pleasure of being with you in that most aptly named place, 'Hope'.
    Peaceful, positive thoughts, your way, Gary

  34. Gary--That was lovely! The photographs, the words, your voice, your sentiment... everything... Beautiful!

    You are not alone, My sure of that...The blogging community is full of friends. :)


  35. beautifully said, Gary... i imagine you opening that door and seeing the whole world in vivid color...

  36. Gary, you may find this hard to believe but Sir Tom has been accused of being a man with no feelings for others.
    I know. It's shocking isn't it?
    Well, I'm here to say that's not true at all. I was moved by this post and your dog is smashing.
    (Sir Tom dabs eyes with handkerchief).
    Cheers, old boy!

  37. Lovely post and pictures! Alone is good, as long and you're not lonely.

  38. Dear Sharon,
    Thank you for your very complimentary words. I am most encouraged by what you have mentioned.
    I am very much comforted to know that I'm a part of the great blogging community. That makes me realise that 'alone' is never really alone.
    Thanks Sharon.
    With respect and hugs, Gary :-)

  39. Dear joanne,
    The vivid colours wash my very being with thoughts of positive optimism.
    I refuse to let dark shadows overwhelm my right to a peaceful and happy life.
    Thank you and may you continue to inspire us with your wonderful blog, joanne.
    With respect and kindness, Gary

  40. Greetings Sir Tom Eagerly,
    Sir Tom, I am shocked. I always look forward to your kind and supportive comments.
    Your good natured banter is greatly admired and appreciated. Here's wishing you, kind sir, a most delightful weekend.
    Chin up, old boy, and our dog thinks you are smashing chap:-)

  41. Dear Connie,
    Thank you very much for your kind words.
    Alone can be very good as long as we are comfortable with that situation. I'm fortunate enough to be perfectly okay with being alone.
    Have a lovely weekend.
    In kindness and respect, Gary

  42. Penny does indeed look like one happy and much loved pup. Unconditional love from a pet ~ it's a beautiful thing!
    Wishing you well.

  43. Hi Catherine,
    Penny is indeed a very much loved family member. Our animal friends show us so much loyalty and love. Never passing any judgement.
    It really is "a beautiful thing!"
    Thanks Catherine, wishing you well.
    Have a lovely week.
    In kindness, Gary


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.