Thursday 26 November 2015

Sit-Down Chariot Racing.

Hi there, yes, it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!  My human, yet again, is still too lazy, is still having issues with chronic fatigue.  I know he's going for a full check-up this coming Friday, November 27, to see if they can finally give him a diagnosis.  

So, once again, I shall take this oppawtunity to put up one of my must-read pawsts.

I love horses!  Whenever I see a horse on the TV screen, I try to jump into the screen.  So far, that hasn't happened.  Maybe I should get Gary to pawchase one of those 3D televisions with the curved screen.  That might work.

I saw this really weird horse racing on TV.  It was on a Welsh channel and I'm not too good with speaking Welsh.  This means, I shall have to learn some of that language from a Welsh Corgi.  
 I went and grabbed Gary's camera and managed to take a few pictures of what is named harness racing.  I'm pawplexed because I didn't see any of the riders chasing a harness, or for that matter, an electronic hare.  Oops, wrong sort of race.  
Here's some more action from the harness race.  Actually, I think it looks more like a sit-down chariot race!
And even more action.  Quite the reaction and loads of traction. 
I'm quite confused
Totally bemused
Look at the dude
How very rude
He tries to pass
All he sees is the horse's ass
What can he do
When he's covered in poo?
Astro Boy displays a plan of attack
Get the horse to crap in a sack
Wont prevent the lack of view
But the rider wont worry about the horse's poo.

Wednesday 4 November 2015

Scam-I-Am!

I get a number of junk phone calls.  Often, I look at the number displayed and ignore the call if I don't recognise the number.  If no number is displayed, I definitely wont answer.  I subscribe to a telephone preference service which, in theory, blocks out nuisance calls.  That makes no difference to the scammers.

However, on Monday morning, the phone rang and I couldn't resist answering.  The noisy chatter in the background is often a hell of a hint that you're getting another junk call.

"Um.....hello...", I responded.  "Mr. Husband?", came the reply.  "That's not my name.  My husband days are over.", I continued.  "Mr. Husband, this is Greg from 'Windows'.  "Really, Greg?  Greg, my windows are just fine, thank you!", was my next response.  "No, no!  Your 'Windows' system on your computer is having serious problems and we can fix them for you."  "How do you know I have a computer?  Which computer?"  "Believe me, your computer will blow up within 24 hours if you don't let us access it right now!" 'Greg' responded, rather impatiently.

"Okay, 'Greg', I'm switching on my Etch A Sketch, Version 10.1.  Doh, 'Greg', the Etch A Sketch is upgrading!  And 'Greg', you should be ashamed of yourself trying this scam!  This scam has conned vulnerable people out of money fixing a problem that doesn't exist.  And 'Greg', Greg is not your real name!  I know you people use fake names."  *Click* followed by a ring tone as good old 'Greg' hung up on me.

You might be well aware of this particular scam and a few other devious cons going on.  They are a disgrace and this is a warning.

What one should really do is in the list below.
  • Do not allow remote access to your computer.
  • Hang up the phone when you identify that the call is uninvited.
  • Never divulge passwords or pin numbers.
  • Microsoft or someone on their behalf will never call you.
To end this post, here's a poem for the scam artists.  Apologies to Dr. Seuss.

I AM SCAM.  I AM SCAM.  SCAM I AM
THAT SCAM-I-AM!  THAT SCAM-I-AM! 
I DO NOT LIKE THAT, SCAM-I-AM!
DO YOU LIKE GREED EGOS AND SPAM?
I DO NOT LIKE GREED EGOS AND SPAM.
I DO NOT LIKE THEM, SCAM-I-AM.