Now, you might just be aware that British weather is not exactly the most ideal. If you go to hang out your laundry you are virtually guaranteeing a torrential downpour. This is where the much loved British gas central heating radiator becomes oh so convenient.
Just think what a welcoming sight it is for visitors to come into the house and see a varied collection of undergarments flung over the much loved British gas central heating radiator. A common British conversation, in a typical British house, starts like this, 'A very good day to you, come on in. Do you like my underwear?'
For your information, in case you're taking notes, I will tell you what's in the above photograph: A partial view of my curtains, four pairs of underwear, one authentic Canadian 'toque', a wayward stuffed hedgehog, 'Tails' the fox, a very confused garden gnome, and of course, the warm and reassuring, British gas central heating radiator.
There is one problem that I have noted with British gas central heating radiators. The heating seems to stay in one spot. This means that the radiator becomes a meeting place, a gathering of all creatures, great and small.
So, as I observe the huddled masses congregating around the radiator, I got to thinking about the good old days in Canada. I have fond memories of the forced air natural gas heating that would come whooshing out the vents on the floor. And speaking of natural gas. Ah yes, the fun we used to have. The hot air would blast out of the vent.... and I would let rip....a massive fart! That way, said fart would circulate and waft around the house, and all, within range, would get to enjoy...my pungent aroma. It's good to share. Sadly, if I tried the same thing on a British radiator, I know I'd be most disappointed. Knowing my luck, the end result would be a burnt butt from getting too close to the radiator.
I'm fully aware that this intriguing topic has thrilled you to the point of blissful euphoria. And with this in mind, I'm going to submit, for your viewing delight, one last photograph. I hope you are sitting comfortably.
Yes, behold, the great and the mighty, genuine British thermostat, photographed, on location, in my home. I hope you managed to contain your excitement.
'I wonder if this posting will cause a heated debate? Did I mention that we have to 'bleed' our radiators? If anyone reads this they will think it's a load of hot air...and Gary....why are you talking to yourself?'
Hi Gary: Blimey mate, you must have too much time on your......sorry, I fell asleep there for a moment. What was I saying? Oh yeah, riveting material Gary. I think I will post about my toe-nail clippings next week!
ReplyDelete(Only joking!)
Hi bazza,
ReplyDeleteHey, this was a public service announcement. I felt obliged to submit an all too exciting picture of a British radiator.
And speaking of falling asleep...I've haven't commented on your latest blog, yet:-)
Have a good weekend, bazza.
Kind wishes and some belly button fluff, your way, Gary.
Aah...memories!
ReplyDeleteFor the benefit of those who've never met the great British central heating radiator, it might be worth mentioning that they are filled with hot water that gets piped around the house from the central heating boiler.
And, yes, they do get bloomin' hot.
Thanks for that. I just knew that someone would add some interesting facts to the great and wondrous British central heating radiator.
ReplyDeleteMuch obliged and enjoy your weekend.
Take care, Gary
hi gary! wow i think im pretty lucky cause we got heat that come out lots of vents all over the house so we dont gotta hang our underware on any thing like that.
ReplyDeleteits pretty interesting to see but for sure i dont think i could like it for keeping me warm.
...smiles from lenny
Sweet! Gary it was oh so kind of you to post these pictures of the "Great British Central Heating Radiator". This post has certainly broadened my horizons...you can use it to dry your clothes, gather family members together, start a conversation AND to heat your house. It just doesn't get much better than that! So awesome!
ReplyDeleteYour could try your fart trick with the British Electric Fan heater. Although don't farts smell more pungent in cold air?
ReplyDeleteFollowing the purchase of a tumble drier, my radiators are having grief counselling.
ReplyDeleteI also have an Aga - and dry my walking socks in the oven.
Of course Gary, there is a whole new potential for a post relating to the stuff that gets stuck down the back of a radiator, whether or not you paint benind it when decorating, the benefits of a double radiator that doubles as a mug shelf...
I lve this post, this is my sort of drivel!
Made me laugh. I have the underwear in the airing cupboard, the radiator has the pillow cases and sheets... though I'm thinking of returning to a dryer and hang the cost. Glad to see the setting of your thermostat reads the same as mine, some say they never turn it up above 19 degrees, so thought mine my system was faulty! xx
ReplyDeletePenny seems to like it.
ReplyDeleteYou always make my day, Gary. Rock on, man!
Actually in answer to one of your friends, no farts smell much raunchier in the warm, not the cold. I'm glad your underwear didn't have holes in it or your company may have to inspect your hands. Ewwwww! Anyway here's to a very smelly Sunday. Oh, by the way, the next time you fart near someone you should instruct them that they should be very grateful for the favour because a fart is the purest oxygen you'll ever breathe. Fart away Gary!!! Toot, Toot!
ReplyDeleteI just hate being cold! My British Mum-in-law wore wool until the day she passed away. She always said it kept her warm. Well, I don't know which is worse, being cold or wearing itchy wool!
ReplyDeleteI will never look at a heater again with out thinking of you illusterious blog. and as for farting I thought that was just for warming the bed up!
ReplyDeleteOH... MY... GOD!!!
ReplyDeleteI never thought the day would come. I've always wanted to see a British type central heating radiator since... uhm... reading the first sentence of your post. Yes, Gary, you just made my wish come true. And for that, I'm going to walk around the neighborhood with just my underwear on. You are a truly inspiring man. Cheers!!!
Hey Lenny,
ReplyDeleteI really miss heating that has all that whooshing air coming out of it.
Not the greatest sight seeing underwear strewn all over someone's radiator :-)
Have a super and warm weekend.
Big smiles, your way, Gary :-)
Hi Sam,
ReplyDeleteWell gosh and wow, eh! I considered it my duty to submit these awesome and deeply thought provoking photographs of my very own and yep, great British Central Heating Radiator.
I'm sure you have marvelled at just how useful, the great British Central Heating Radiator, is. I think I should start some kinda' appreciation group up on that thoroughly interesting and amazing social notworking site, 'Farcebook'.
I rejoice in your obvious delight, Sam.
Kind wishes and a jar of 'Marmite', your way, Gary :-)
Greetings Gorilla Bananas,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your most excellent suggestion. However, I have already tried using a British Electric Fan Heater. Sadly, it just does not have the same circulatory impact as a North American venting system. This is such a shame.
According to the world's leading 'fartologists', a more pungent aroma can be achieved in higher temperatures. So you should have no problems maximising the finest farts in the Congo.
Kind regards and a banana shake, your way, Gary :-)
Hi Juliana,
ReplyDeleteVery good! I hope your radiators will recover from such an ordeal. We all want to feel important.
I too have a tumble drier. Of course, this was my way to illustrate how one can utilise the radiators when the heating is on. That way, I have less to slap in the drier.
The Aga idea sounds good. Although, I would dread to think of the potential smell wafting out of my oven if I put my walking socks in it. Might be even worse than a bit of wind passing:-)
Thanks for some extra ideas to potentially keep this outrageously fascinating topic, going.
I'm so pleased you liked this 'drivel'. Drivel is a most flattering comment and gives me the inspiration to carry on with further drivel. Thanks.
Just wanted to mention that your last posting was deeply profound.
With respect, Gary
Hi Carole,
ReplyDeleteI'm really heartened to know that you utilise all the handy stuff on offer around the home.
I do use my drier along with the radiators. I looked out my window at the clothes line and cried. I got to thinking about the two times I used it during the great British 'summer'.
I didn't even think about the setting on my thermostat. Still, it seems like an okay temperature.
Have a wonderful week.
Hugs, Gary x
Hi Joylene,
ReplyDeleteI'll tell ya' what, Joylene. I cannot get Penny away from the radiator when the heat's on. If I dare ask her to move, she gives me this really disgusted look. Then again, she always gives me disgusted looks. Maybe she's trying to tell me something :-)
Rock n' roll and a bit of, 'Footloose', your way, Gary :-)
Hi Heather,
ReplyDeleteI passed on the message in regards to farts, to our illustrious friend. Did you know that, 'Gorilla Bananas', is very famous?
My hands? You should see my keyboard. Ewwwww yuck! lol
I'm really looking forward to staying with you and testing out the fart circulation capacities of your heating system. Should be great fun for all concerned.
Right then, I'm going to go and fart on Tristan. I've no doubt he will appreciate my thoughtful gesture.
Kind wishes and a smelly Sunday, your way, Gary :-)
Hi Cher,
ReplyDeleteI think I'd rather be cold than subject myself to some itchy wool sweater. Heck, the sheep can keep their coats. The shear audacity.
Have a peaceful week, Cher.
Kind wishes, Gary.
Hi kerrie,
ReplyDeleteYou make a most important observation. Indeed, farts can be a very excellent bed warming idea. Of course, it is even better when you get someone else to enjoy the warmth and wonder of said fart. I know my 'former' partner appreciated my kindness in attempting to keep the bed warm.
Just think, now you can stare at your heater and know all is right in the world.
Have a great week.
Warm wishes, Gary :-)
Hello Ryhen,
ReplyDeleteI cannot even begin to tell you how thrilled I am that you truly appreciate and indeed, realise just how important the photographs of the great and awesome British central heating radiator was to your general well being. You see, life is truly wonderful.
So you are going to walk around your neighbourhood with just your underwear on? Will make a change from you walking around naked in your neighbourhood:-)
Inspiring wishes, your way, Gary
Oh how I wish I'd thought to post about radiators, I have a lovely new 4 column one in my kitchen, you would love it.
ReplyDeleteI am pleased to see the thermostat is set at 21+, my parent swear 16 is warm enough while I feel 20 is more comfortable.
Thanks for you comment on my blog and for following :0)
Hi Gary,
ReplyDeleteThank goodness you hang your underwear rather than your shirts on that radiator...otherwise you might get too hot under the collar(lol, I sheepishly say). Our radiators whistle. Do yours?
Hi Mrs. Midnite,
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for leaving a comment. That is most appreciated.
Actually, my inspiration to do this extremely important blog about radiators was inspired by Sam at Rot Du Jour. She was incredibly fascinated to see what a genuine British central heating radiator, looked like. Totally understandable.
I like to think this posting is right up there with my fascinating discussions about rubber gloves, solar lamps and the dreaded 'non-stick' frying pan.
I hope you will perhaps find it within you to dazzle the world with your new kitchen radiator:-)
I agree with you. I think that 20 degrees centigrade is about right.
You're very welcome for the comment and my humble self now following your excellent blog.
Here's to you finding the perfect jeans:-)
With respect and kind wishes, Gary
Hi Rebecca,
ReplyDeleteHa ha, very good! Actually, and can you keep this a secret, I don't really use my radiators that much to dry my underwear, or anything else, for that matter. Okay, occasionally I do. Mostly for towels. Although I have been known to chuck my trousers on the radiator. Gives a whole new meaning to 'hot pants'. Ah, those were the days...girls wandering around high school wearing those really short pants...sorry...I'm back now :-)
I've never heard a radiator 'whistle', here. Although with my stunning good looks..that's a surprise...however, they do make this strange 'gurgling' noise when I switch on the heating. I wonder if that's normal?
You are a good laugh, Rebecca, and I appreciate your play on words. 'Hot under the collar'...yikes!
Have a great week.
Kind wishes, Gary :-)
The gnome does not like being in a group hug, it invades his personal space.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the peak of the undies though, nice way to end my day.
Dear Gary,
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you have warmed to our British central heating systems (warmed- get it?).
Anyways, it is nice to see you returning to your usual territory,
finding amusement in the most quotidian aspects of life. (I love that word- quotidian, that is).
Best Wishes to you, Penny and family,
David.
sorry I'm late in arriving here to comment. i know i must be seeing things here but do i see a photo of two stuffed animals and a gnome having a three way next to your British central heating radiator? yes, i mean a 3 way as in a plate of chili spaghetti from Skyline restaurant in Cincinnati.
ReplyDeleteGosh, that's good chili.
You are wise beyond your years for your charitable sharing of massive, pungent methane outbursts. Not only does the fragrance of such a gift to your loved ones shows that you care but it will cut down on her heating bill because the abundant warmth the fart creates will show that you really care.
So please, everyone, show that you care this year by truly giving of yourself and allowing family and friends to bask in your intimate, delightful anal aromas.
Continue your enjoyable self discussion and your heater and fare thee well and take air, friend- a big whiff.
Twenty-two degrees on your thermostat?! My other half would have a coronary if ours crept past seventeen point five! It's true that I don't like being cold, but then I don't like too much heat either. I am a temperate creature. Like a fern, maybe...?
ReplyDeleteHi lifeshighway,
ReplyDeleteWell, I did mention it was a very confused garden gnome. And he's just kinda' standing there as they look at him. He has gone back to the garden, now:-)
Glad you appreciated seeing my undergarments and of course, my genuine Canadian toque.
Have a great week.
In kindness, Gary.
Dear David,
ReplyDeleteThank you for such a warm comment. Did you know I'm a fan of yours?
There you go again, with that fancy word. Are you suggesting that I have a tendency to find some sort of entertaining aspects of everyday life and some of the more mundane stuff in it. Yes you are.
Anyway, this was a public service announcement for the curious. I was only trying to help out that fellow blogger who can now rest knowing she has seen the delights and wonder of the great British gas central heating radiator.
Best wishes to you, Gary
Hi Kelly,
ReplyDeleteNo dude, you are not imagining this. It's real and it's happens in my house. Kelly, they are taking over and having wild orgies. They have no shame. And, hey do you have some kinda' promotional deal with the Skyline restaurant in Cincinnati?
Somehow, I just knew you would understand what a kind and selfless act my farts are meant to be. And, yep, not only that, it's one heck of a way to cut down on heating bills. You, being a kind and selfless dude, no doubt, perform such altruistic acts to show your friends and loved ones, how much you really care.
I'm moved to tears with your closing statement. Or maybe the tears have been caused by a certain pungent aroma. Yikes, a genuine USA fart has wafted this way!
Kelly, you take good air of yourself. I'm off to perform a noble and worthwhile public duty.
'Toot, toot...'
Hi joanne,
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting. I really should explain that my central heating was not switched on at the time of the photograph. I know, England, October, heating off, strange but true.
I was fiddling with the knob before I took the photo. Hang on..maybe that doesn't sound right:-)
Congratulations on your blogging award. I wish you continued happy writing.
With respect and fern thank you, Gary.
You have a delightful way of viewing your world. I grew up in Montreal, where radiators were a central feature in most homes. They looked a little different, but the culture that evolved around them was very similar.
ReplyDeleteAmazing how something as seemingly mundane as a radiator can influence our lives. Great, great post!
Perhaps, you need to get out more? My weekend consisted of bears in trees, a grizzley 'woofing' at me deep in the willows and some moose and deer. I need to get out more too! ;)
ReplyDeleteHi Carmi,
ReplyDeleteEh, bonjour and thank you for your kind comment.
I have been to Montreal and it was one of the highlights of my cross country trip from Vancouver. Okay that and Hairy Hills, Alberta.
Of course, with the rather harsh winters in Montreal, I've no doubt that the radiator was a much loved feature in the home.
I know, that my life, also, has been influenced by the great British central heating radiator. Like your comment, it radiates positivity.
Take care and thanks again, Gary.
Greetings 'It's Time to Live',
ReplyDeleteYou may well be right. Maybe I should get out more and marvel at the delights of wild foxes and those pesky neighbourhood cats.
Your weekend sounded like an excellent time. I'm very familiar with grizzlies, moose and deer. I'm from British Columbia and have had the great thrill of being up close to a grizzly. That was near a place named 70 Mile House and we kept walking and walking and....
I hope you go and have some fun in the great outdoors.
Kind wishes, Gary :-)
..and also.."I love your "hot" undies...and the dog looks so comfy and cozy...how cute with the hedgehog...Awwwwwww...adorable....and i think it is a great topic...just enough to take my mind off of all the drama around here and just giggle...Thank You my friend..!
ReplyDeleteI love it when I visit my Dad and my Step-Mum puts the towel on the radiator before I go and take a bath. I always feel so spoiled having a warm towel...
ReplyDeletePenny looks like she enjoys the radiated heat. :-)
WOW! So your a canadian who moved to Britain? Sounds like you stole my dream goal right from me. I want to live in britain for a year or two.
ReplyDeleteThanks for giving me a preview of the kind of heating I can expect.
I noticed the Canadian toque right away...I'll be getting mine out soon, and am much more deserving of one when it's -48 C with the windchill, than your paltry 5 degrees and drizzle in Staffs. :) Hope you're having a great week!
ReplyDeleteHello smArtee,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you love my "hot" undies. I must remember not to put them on immediately. Do that, and I could end up sounding like a singer in a Bee Gees tribute act:-)
Penny, the Jack Russell and internet star, just loves sitting by a nice warm radiator. She doesn't mind sharing it with a few of her nauseatingly cute little friends.
I'm glad you had a bit of a giggle with this highly important topic. Wishing you much success with your blog....now that we have found it again...
Kind wishes, Gary :-)
Hi Sharon,
ReplyDeleteAh yes! Another fine example of just how wonderful the great British gas central heating radiator, truly and magically, is!
A nice warm towel, after a nice warm bath, is most comforting.
Penny just loves the warmth from the radiator. The only thing that will get her to move away from the radiator is a doggie treat or announce it's time for a walk:-)
Thanks Sharon.
Hope you are having a most peaceful day.
With respect and a warm towel, your way, Gary.
Hi Melissa,
ReplyDeleteHow's it goin' eh? Yes indeed, I'm from Vancouver and having a wonderful time in England.
I mean, just having the reassuring warmth of my great British gas central heating radiator, is enough reason to be here:-)
I hope you manage to make it over, Melissa. I'm kinda' outnumbered.
Take care and I shall be having a good look at your blog.
Have a good day eh, Gary :-)
Hi Tracey,
ReplyDeleteYes indeed, I reckon you will be getting out your legendary Canadian toque out, fairly soon. Although, a couple of weeks ago, wasn't it 22 C in Winnipeg?
Wednesday's predicted temperature for Winnipeg is 11 C. Wednesday's predicted temperature for Leek is 8 C. Yes, I know, pretty soon in Winnipeg it will be at least -48 C on one of the warmer winter days. So based on that, you are most assuredly more deserving of wearing a legendary and authentic Canadian toque, eh :-)
You have a great week.
Kind wishes and weekend in Moose Jaw, your way, Gary.
LOL Gary we should definitely start an appreciation group on 'Farcebook' as you put it (hehehe) I'm in!
ReplyDeleteBut now I am forced to pester you with yet another question and that is--what is Marmite? And am I supposed to know what Marmite is?
Does everyone know about it but me and I'm just sitting here being ignorant? (I'd say ignorance is a definite possibility)
Hi Sam,
ReplyDeleteYes indeedy doo. An appreciation group on Farcebook for klahanie, whoops, for the 'Great British Gas Central Heating System Radiator', would be fantastic and no doubt would create many a heated debate.
Well, my sneaky plan worked lol. Now your curiosity wants to know what the hell 'Marmite' is. You mean y'all don't have Marmite is the USA? Hang your heads in shame.
Marmite is described here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marmite
It's a really gross looking spread and you either 'love it or hate it'. I have enjoyed the wonders of Marmite in Canada eh. A potential blog happening on this important product eh? lol
So now you know. Heck, you can 'spread' the word about this British iconic food product.
Take care and keep smiling:-)
Haha Gary another off-the-wall blog that gives a mundane subject a whole new dimmension! At least with central heating we don't have to worry about collecting wood for fires like they did in the old days. Keep on blogging mate your take on things is really refreshing! Best wishes, Simon
ReplyDeleteHey Simon,
ReplyDeleteThanks dude. You know me, I find the most boring topics, thrilling beyond any legible comprehension.
No, these days, we have good old central heating and the sky high bills, instead. See ya, must go and gather some wood:-)
Cheers Simon.
Kind wishes, Gary