Friday, 29 October 2010

Grammar Anarchy.


The above photograph is a fusion of Punk Rock meets Pet Rock meets Bedrock.

This here blog is all about grammar anarchy and writing it any old way I like.  No plot.  No sense.  No rules. Or, in the words of those musical anarchists, The Sex Pistols, 'No future'.  You see, already, 'it dont make no sense' and that is a double negative and I don't care!   This will be a mishmash of moronic mishap material mayhem mostly making me more mildly mystified, maybe.
No antagonist and no protagonist.  No boring description of each character in details I don't care about.  No, this crap will have no sense of direction and will be completely disjointed and will not change your life for the better and will use 'and' as many times as I care too.
And thus, I continue with a whole bunch of dots...........The following are all those brilliant thoughts I had for a posting, but forgot to write down.  The ones I've said to myself, 'I'll remember that incredibly clever thought.  I'll show 'em how good I can write!'  That would be the incredibly clever thought that I've forgotten, five minutes later.  Okay, the following are all those clever and deeply profound thoughts I forgot.


Did you enjoy that?  What?  I told you this posting had no rules and, at this point, if you are still reading, you might dare continue and read some of the fascinating stuff I did remember to write down.  Then again, you might just think why I bothered.   So here you are, some random, totally unrelated garbage, or if you prefer, rubbish.  Have you watched baseball?  That would be cricket without the confusion.  There are two leagues, the National League and the American League.  In the American League, they have a dude who is called the 'designated hitter'.  All this dude does is hit and when I say 'hit', I mean the baseball.  What you might not know is that in the American League, they also have a guy who is known as the 'designated shitter'.  You see, there aint much time in baseball to go for a dump.  Not even the 'seventh inning stretch' is suffice.  I mean, how would it look if it's the star player's turn to go to bat, bottom of the ninth, two out, bases loaded and trailing by three runs and everyone's waiting cause the star dude is having a dump.  Thus, the designated shitter has one on his behalf.  Problem solved.  Now, the National League, based on this, might just think about getting a designated hitter and a designated shitter.  
The above paragraph was stupid and a rather feeble attempt at humour (humor).  Of course, ofcourse, I don't care,   So the guy making desserts looked at me in horror. 'Oh dear, I'm a trifle short!', he yelled.  'What are you talking about?  You must be at least six feet tall', I responded.  I really hate the expression 'at the end of the day'.  I hate it almost as much as folks who say, 'to be honest', which makes me wonder if they are not usually honest.  And when you say, 'you know', or 'you know what I'm sayin'?   No, I don't know and I don't care.  At the end of the day, to be honest, you know, you know what I'm sayin'?  And the next person who says, 'I'm not being funny'....well guess what?  You aint!  Kinda' like this blog.
So to end this grammar anarchy blog I was thinking about doing one of those writing 'mistakes' that leads one into the trap of formulating a run-on and on and on sentence that leaves established or aspiring writers gasping in disbelief that anyone would have the audacity to dare make a sentence drawn out and thus taking away any credibility of the writing because a shorter sentence would have been so much more correct n' stuff and so I will not do that and I'm now wondering just what the 'n' stuff', is.
Oh yeah, if you really care.  What do you think that drawing is on my shirt?  That would be the drawing below the exclamation mark!

47 comments:

  1. ha! I think I'M the first commentor on YOUR blog which is a MAJOR accomplishment! First-I dig your hair in that photo and I think the drawing under the exclamation point is two cave men holding a gong or something.
    Also you write the goodest n'stuff ever and I think run-on sentences get a bad rap. And that's all I can pull out of my empty head for now. Have an awesome weekeeeennnnnddddd.

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  2. Hi Sa,
    Yay, you is da first to comment on this here ridiculous posting.
    So thanks for your comment n'stuff. I once, to the outrage, well not really, of 'real writers', the fact I once did an entire blog that consisted of only one sentence and within that sentence I snuck in the word 'fuck' because I reckoned that whoever was reading it would not notice that word because they were so fascinated with all the other thrilling bits within the run-on sentence....
    Thank you and I was thrilled, beyond any meaningful description, the superb writing in your latest posting:-)
    Have an awesome weekend yourself, ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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  3. Hi Gary;
    Well, of course the picture under the exclamation mark is "two men walking abreast!" I love this article cuz you're just a rebel at heart. I always say be true to yourself. LOL. As usual you made me laugh lots. Thanks very much.

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  4. Still trying to figure out how you did your hair, Gary???????

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  5. Two men carrying a humongous donut. Right? But really who cares. It's the hair. It's fabulous. It's epic. It's ... weird.

    You kill me, Gary. You are like too kewl for words.

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  6. Hi Gary. I would just like to say that in that picture you hardly look complete crazy at all.
    Only a little bit.
    I don't like 'rules' in writing or speech; I just like good communication not clich├ęs.
    Know wot I mean, innit?

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  7. Dear Gary,
    Your madness has rarely been made so evident. Might I suggest a little lie down.
    By the way, I think the picture on your shirt is depicting two guys fighting over an enormous fried egg.
    As for all this grammar anarchy business, you just don't seem to care, do you, Gary, you literary rebel you.
    Glad you're havin' fun and take care,
    David.

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  8. Well how do ya like that! David stole my answer. So in that case I'll go with my other option ...

    Two zombies playing tug of war with an eyeball.

    lol Hope you have a great Halloween ... great costume.

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  9. That hair rocks. And down with grammar I say.

    http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

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  10. To be honest, Gary, I think that is a totally hot look for you, like - you know what I'm sayin', eh? [snicker snicker].

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  11. hi me gary! yikes! your looking soooo cool! i cant know what that hairs made of but its pretty neat and a little scary. ha ha. you got some funny answers on that picture. for me i dont have any ideas on it. if you were here me and you could go trick or treating together cause that could be a really good costume.
    ...happy halloween hugs from lenny

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  12. Hi Heather,
    Aha! You might be close to the truth in regards to the drawing on my shirt.
    You know I'm a rebel and I rock! Or suffink like dat! lol
    I is glad that youse thought dis was kinda' funny.
    Oh yeah, thanks for putting up dat award on your lil' ol' site. I shall be visiting your blog, very shortly.
    Thanks Heather.
    In kindness and rebellion, your way, Gary :-)

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  13. Hi Sharon,
    Well, I might say I stuck my hair in a large bowl of multi-coloured gooey stuff. Then again, I shall email you my hairstyling secret:-)
    Hey, nice usage of the question mark.
    I'm lovin' it lol
    Rebel wishes, your way, Gary :-)

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  14. Yo Joylene,
    Very good but very wrong :-)
    Hey, or is that 'hay', I'm glad you is like likin' me hair. Me thinks the hair suits the dude under it.
    Yeh, you know I is too kewl for woids.
    Have a rebel type weekend, Joylene.
    With respect massive, your way,
    'kewlhanie' :-)

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  15. Hey bazza,
    So I is lookin' complete crazy only a little bit.
    I don't do 'rules' in writing or speech. Just like you.
    Yeh maan, good communication is da key.
    And I'll tell you that nowt for naught. Or summit like that.

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  16. Dear David,
    Thank you for confirming my 'madness'. Yeh man, a lie down would be good so I can like practice for da Siesta Championships.
    And, you is wrong about the piccy, but a good try coming from your scrambled mind:-)
    No dude, I dunna care about all this, 'oh you must do this and you must do that', grammar and writing crap. As you know, I do whatever I want cause I is such a rebel. Oh yeah!
    Thanks David. This posting was fun and another chance to use my writing as a therapeutic and possibly weird resource.
    Talk soon.
    In kindness and an enourmous fried egg, your way, Gary

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  17. Hi Sally,
    Oh yikes. David stole your answer, which was good, but wrong. Your second option is really good, but, sadly, wrong, also. lol
    Halloween is a fairly 'normal' day, here, over in Britain. Still, what the heck, I can always go out and scare a few folks with my costume and my gorgeous hair!
    Hope you have a very nice Halloween, Sally.
    With respect and spooky wishes, your way, Gary :-)

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  18. Hello Masked Friend,
    Ah, tis thee friend of mine, whose words dance to magical tunes, upon thy wondrous keyboard.
    Fear thee not, Masked Friend. I, your humble and shy admirer, knoweth how to formulate within the rules of chained restraint.

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  19. Hello Fickle Cattle,
    What a mooooving name thy has concocted.
    Yep, the hair rocks, Punk Rocks, Pet Rocks and I'm now off to Bedrock .
    And, down with grammar, I say.
    Have a good weekend.

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  20. Hi Michelle,
    At the end of the day, I'm not being funny, but you know, I think you are right. I is like lookin' totally hot with my fashion statement!
    'snicker' aint that some kinda' of one of them thar candy bars?
    Have a nice day! Doh! :-)

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  21. Hi Lenny!
    I'm really glad you think I look soooo cool! The 'hair' does look 'neat' in a messy kind of way. And yes, it might scare a few folks. I know it sort of scared me. lol
    I've gotten back some very clever answers to the drawing on my shirt. Haven't had quite the correct answer..yet.
    I wonder if I would even get a second look if I was over there wearing my silly costume and showing off my very silly hair. Hmmmm lol
    You have a great Halloween, my young friend.
    Hugs and smiles, your way, Mr. Gary :-)

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  22. Gary I can't take the suspense a moment longer! (Despite the fact that I immensely enjoy reading everyone else's theories as to what the picture is 'sposed' to be)I need to know definitively what it is! Are you going to tell us??

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  23. Hello Sam,
    'To be honest', if I said what the answer was, it could potentially end all comments. You have to realise that this is my sad and pathetic way to get more unsuspecting folks to read my shy and humble blog:-)
    Okay, shall we end the suspense? Shall I attempt to say what it might be, like it's two men walking side by side. Wait, that can't be right. Shall I let my response ramble on and on and...or should I state that someone sorta' gave the right answer but didn't quite phrase it correctly. Yes, I'm being picky. Okay, Heather, my friend who lives in British Columbia, that's the Province above you, was almost correct. If the 'thingy' between the two stick men wasn't there, she would have been correct. Enough already, get on with it man. Right! What was the question? Here goes, the picture is of 'two men walking a breast'.
    Please note, once again, my dedication to putting you out of your misery. I mean, it's like tomorrow here and that means...oooohhh scary....it's Halloween:-)

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  24. Well, to be honest Gary, I did think the pictorial on your t-shirt looked more like a Mexican drawing a series of stick men in the sand - you know what I'm saying?
    And of course, not wishing to be funny, I really do think you need to re-consider your current hairstylist - the Brethern of your parish would not approve.
    But, at the end of the day, I do have to commend you for one of the longest strings of alliterative prose I have encountered in quite a while.
    Well, that's enough stretching of the proverbial envelope of cliches for one comment, we really muct make a window and do it all over again. Caio sweetie!

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  25. First off, man. Before I even start reading the post... That picture of you scared me and caused me to take my Valium earlier than usual today. Second, have you recently lost your mind? If so, can I have it so I can put it in my Box of Odds and Ends?

    Okay. Done rambling. I enjoyed your hilarious righteous rant on the silliness of being too anal or too strict about grammar that some people do take too seriously. You humorously showed that you don't need to write a post following certain rules if you are able to get your point across. Also: How did you find out about the American Shitter? Us yanks were trying to keep him a secret. Now the whole world is gonna think we're friggin nuts.

    Oh... too late.

    Take care, Gary and Happy Halloween. Love the wig. I want one.

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  26. I had an English professor in college who absolutely did not care about grammar, etc. He said that the purpose of writing is to communicate in a personal way, so write the way you speak. I liked that!

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  27. Ohhhhhhh thank God. (BIG sigh of relief!)That is very funny! LOL Thank you my friend for putting me out of my misery I do so much appreciate it. And I have an idea that the comments will keep rolling in on your fantastical, marvelous blog post.
    You're the best!
    Have a Happy Halloween eh...

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  28. Hi Gary,
    I got all choked up when I saw the title on this post....do you cherish the memory as much as me? Hint: It has something to do with Grammar Anarchy. Seriously, you put the C into ourage with your outside the box use of syntax and grammar period
    BTW, do you think the word period is an adequate substitute for the actual punctuation?(yes, I know...very silly).

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  29. Oh yeah, I forgot to put in my two cents about the tee shirt pic.....My first cent was too raunchy for the public forum, and my second cent though bizarre was: two grammarchists wildly running to free a period from the clutches of the grammar police who caught it in their sentence parsing net. Have a fantastic week Gary-fun as always.

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  30. Hello

    I'm new to your blog!! The pic truly works especially when used in context with the following grammatical anarchy!

    I'm so glad you've explained the joys of baseball to me. It now sounds more fun that it should with a designated shitter. I think all sports games should have one. Me not being sporty (although I cheer like the best of them if I need to!!!) think that maybe I'd be more sporty if there had existed a DS when I was at school skiving from doing a PE lesson!

    Have a lovely Halloween! take care
    x

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  31. you look is a look that shook the world
    your grammer was a hammer for all
    that stammer
    you always make me laugh I like your blogs

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  32. Hi Juliana,
    Well, to be honest, Juliana, I do know what you're saying. And that worries me. lol
    And not being funny, myself, I have had rave reviews over my quite 'catching' (literally) hairstyle.
    My parish? I parish the thought.
    At the end of the day, it's midnight. However, I do thank you for noting my alliterative attempt at alliterating almost as an alternative.
    Well your envelope has been rubber stamped with my seal of approval and the whole situation has been licked.
    I shall now go whilst I have this window of opportunity.
    Aur revoir pour maintenant:-)

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  33. Hey Kelly,
    I'm really sorry I scared ya man. I hope you are nice and relaxed, now. I have not recently 'lost my mind'. I lost it years ago in a rowdy poker game in the back room of a seedy beer parlour in Vancouver. Anyway, what's left of mind is more than welcome to be added to your 'Box of Odds and Ends'. No more thinking 'out of the box', for me!
    Yep, this was my friendly dig at those who say there are these rules you must adhere too. I say in the finest possible British way, 'what a load of bollocks!' Just like you, my friend, I do as I please and a little bit of literary experimentation is a lot of fun.
    My 'sources' have told me about you guys and your 'designated shitter'. I thought it was crap at first but it turned out to be correct. Oh, the whole world already thinks you yanks are friggin' nuts. Like you say, it's too late and the not so well kept secret about you guys, is out. Aint that just peachy keen, y'all. lol
    Thanks Kelly and I hope you have a really nifty neato Halloween. Kind wishes and a really punky wig, your way, Gary :-)

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  34. Hi Cher,
    I think your English professor was a right on, rock on, type of dude. Totally agree that the writing is a way of communicating in a personal way. Like your professor, I try to 'talk' via my so-called writing, in a one-to-one, personal way. I am writing to just the one person reading my rubbish. I personally think that is very important.
    Thanks Cher. I hope you are having a very nice Halloween weekend.
    With respect and good wishes, Gary

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  35. Hi Sam,
    I am truly pleased that I put you out of your misery. I didn't want to see you suffering 8, no actually 7 time zones, away. You see, we put the clocks back already. Thus we are one hour closer, for a week, to y'all. Wasn't that interesting.
    And, you were right, more bewildered folks have kindly taken the time to comment on my very shy and very humble type blog.
    I aint the best....you is da best and I is just thinking your blog is like really marvellous. (sorry, 'marvelous')
    Halloween is nearly over, here, and it has been very quiet and peaceful. luckily:-)
    Here's wishing you a very nice Halloween, eh.
    In kindness and respect, Gary.

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  36. Hi Rebecca aka THE SNEE,
    I do indeed remember and I was thinking about you when I put up that title for the post. I recall that term was how I first got the great pleasure of interacting with you and your superbly funny and clever blog.
    I have a great deal of fun breaking all the 'rules' in writing. I reckon some will think I'm a blithering idiot and an insult to 'proper' writers. Well, yes indeedy do, I don't care. I think I'm trying to prove something. Not sure what it is but what the heck.
    I think that's great to write out the word 'period', instead of the actual punctuation exclamation mark
    Not silly at all and I think you are on to something comma I think period BTW

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  37. Hey Rebecca,
    Thanks for adding your thoughts about my shirt in a North American monetary way. To coin a phrase.
    I'd love to know your raunchy version:-) Anyhow, your second cent makes cents to me and I'm starting to worry about by myself LOL
    Happy Halloween, Rebecca, and you also have a great week.
    With respect and gratitude, Gary
    :-)

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  38. Greetings Old Kitty,
    Thank you very much for so kindly leaving a comment. Very much appreciated.
    I thought the photo would tie in rather nicely to this writing rebel posting.
    Ah baseball, America's 'national pastime', as it's referred too. You are right, all sports should have a 'designated shitter'. You describe a brilliant way of skiving out of PE. I think it would have be great if the DS could be extended to other walks or sits of life. I would have loved to been the DS at certain school exams:-)
    Hope you had a lovely Halloween.
    Kind wishes and thanks, Gary x

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  39. Hi kerrie,
    I myself is a writing punk
    Some might think
    My writing stunk

    Hey, thanks for your great little poem You are too kind and I thank you for liking my blog. I've been reading your blog and I think you is like well funny, kerrie.
    Respect massive n'stuff, your way, Gary :-)

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  40. Gary, what a masterpiece your drawing is! I really think you should draw more. I've been scrolling down the comment section of this post and nearly fell down of my chair, you have so many comments! Not saying I'm envious or anything. Just to get to the bottom of the page to hit post comment is leaving me breathless. LOL.

    You're always funny, Gare. I enjoyed this grammar playground piece enormously!

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  41. Hi Shanaz,
    Drawing? Okay, you're right, I drew it in. Too bad my drawing couldn't fix my ugly mug lol
    I seem to be getting a lot more comments that I used too. I'm really grateful for that. Of course, with me responding to each person, doubles the comments. Make the total look really good and maybe makes me look really sad:-)
    I like to add the personal touch and do endeavour to reply to everyone. And yes, it does take a bit of scrolling to get to the bottom and when I say 'bottom', I do mean to the bottom of the page.
    I wouldn't be envious. You do a wonderful blog. I just got lucky.
    I do attempt to be slightly humorous. Some might think, 'ooh look at him. He thinks he's so effin' clever!' Well, I don't. All I'm trying to do is have some good natured banter and some positive interaction with the fantastic folks in blogland.
    Hey Shanaz, you are well cool, to be honest, you know what I'm sayin'? At the end of the day...
    You take good care of yourself.
    I is going now cause dis here comment is like sooooo long, already.
    Kind wishes and a multi-coloured spiky wig, your way, Gary :-)

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  42. Haha!! Love the hair! Priceless :)

    Oh, and the post was jolly good too!

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  43. Haha!! Love the hair! Priceless :)

    Oh, and the post was jolly good too!

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  44. Hey Wendy,
    You like my hair? Yah, me hair me thinks it's priceless. No one in the right mind would pay for hair like mine. But do I care? No way, do I care, cause I is da punk rebel and I like to write run on sentences and like to use 'and' loads and loads and so much do I like run on sentences that I almost forgot that you have left a comment twice.
    Me thanks you for thinking dis here posting why like jolly good. Must like go now in case I start thinking normal :-)

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I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.