Lovely Blog Award.

I have been most honoured to have a, 'Lovely Blog Award', bestowed upon me. It has come to my attention that I have received this award twice. So I must humbly apologise to that wonderful blogger, 'Julie Phillips', whose very informative and supportive blog can be found at the following address: http://jlpwritersquest.blogspot.com/ Thank you Julie, it was really great for me that your daughter pulled my name out of a bag. Your posting regarding my blog was thoughtful and most encouraging. Wishing you much success in your ongoing writing endeavours. Happy writing and thanks again.

I would also like to thank Suzanne Jones. Suzanne does a terrific blog that is inspirational, informative, thought-provoking, humorous and conveys a transparency I much admire. Continued positive writing Suzanne and thank you again. Suzanne's lovely blog can be discovered at the following address: http://suzanne-sj.blogspot.com/

Now I shall duly pass this, Lovely Blog Award, on. This is certainly a most difficult decision. I have had the great privilege of reading and interacting with many fine bloggers. They have made me think, stirred my imagination and made me realise I'm part of a very special community. However, after much deliberation, I have decided to pass this award on to a very positive and inspirational new writer. Who, despite what could be perceived as overwhelming situations; continues to be resilient and remains positive in the face of adversity. So, to not only a lovely blogger, but a dear friend; I pass this award to you. My friend Heather's blog can be found at the following address: http://1soundingoff.blogspot.com/

Below are the rules that relate to this award. I thank you for your time. Happy writing to you all. Kind wishes, Gary.

1) Accept the award, and post a link back to the awarding person.

2) Pass the award on.

3) Notify the award winner.

Write Stuff.

After the 'nonsensical gibberish' of my last two, somewhat surreal blogs; I thought it might be a good idea to get back to a posting that was a bit more serious. I would have included a third, but 'Penny', the Jack Russell dog, would not be pleased if I thought of her interview, as just a way to exploit her genuine thoughts and concerns.

There have been a number of people who have said they: 'wish they could write like me.' Although flattered, I proceed to ask: 'Why not write, like you can write?' Their responses usually go something like this: 'I just don't know how to express myself.' I then ask: 'So tell me. What is it you find so difficult in explaining yourself through the power of the written word?' At which point, all the reasons they can't write come flowing out. With great verbalisation, with great articulation; they explain all those reasons that stop them from writing. 'There you go,' I state, 'now write it down.'

Writing, for me, no matter what style I use, is therapeutic, and is very much, a positive resource. I write for fun, for pleasure and to share experiences. This isn't a contest and comparisons are not needed. So those that tell me they can't write; can write. If one gets satisfaction from tapping away on the keyboard, and getting it out; then that is an excellent outcome. It doesn't matter the style, the formulation, or the flow of the sentences. What matters is that those who thought they could not write; realise that their words have a powerful validity. If it is cathartic, it is good.

I feel the passion. Comforted in the realisation that my writing transports me to wondrous place; a place that illuminates the magic of the imagination, recalls the good times, the sad times and the deeply profound times. So those that have told me that can't write stuff; have proven that they can write stuff. They know who they are, and I wish them well in their fascinating journey of discovery, through the ongoing tales of their lives. Happy writing to you.

'Daft As A Brush'?

'Daft as a brush'? So what proof is there that a brush is 'daft'? Now that's quite the sweeping statement. Should we go over the meaning behind, 'daft as a brush' , with a 'fine-toothed comb'? Next thing you know; we will all be 'tarred with the same brush'. Do 'beginner witches', 'fly off the handle'? Yes I know, that feeble attempt at a joke does have broom for improvement.

Right then, I'm cheating here, just a little. I'm posting up some of my past musings, along with a few 'Farcebook' profile statements. So if you are really, really bored you may just wish to continue reading on. Then again.... However, this blog is about to go colourful. No, not that kind of colourful. I've got this urge to 'paint the town red'. Knowing my luck, I would get caught 'red-handed' and end up 'red-faced', as I try to explain to the police officer, why I have an opened tin of red paint, complete with a paintbrush covered in..umm..red paint. So then I would feel 'blue' and would be 'green with envy' over those who have managed to get away with 'painting the town red'. Well, at least I can take some comfort in knowing that I can go into my garden and use my 'green thumb'. So you see, it's not all 'black and white'. They are always 'grey areas'.

Sorry about that. I wont try to 'chew your ear off'. Hopefully, you wont try to 'bite my head off' over posting another ridiculous blog. But, then again, be happy. I've been told that 'Bob's your uncle' and that makes you 'happy as Larry'.

Okay, if you were looking for real comedy; may I suggest you check out the legend that is 'Humpty Dumpty'. As far as I'm concerned, Humpty was the greatest 'off-the-wall' comedian..ever! 'Humpty Dumpty', now that sounds like a euphemism for a 'one-night stand', which is, of course, a euphemism for..well you know what I mean. Which reminds me, I wonder why it's called a 'one-night stand'.

Okay, this posting is about to end. If you are still here, thanks and well done. Now, I going off on a 'wild goose chase', dressed as a 'wolf in sheep's clothing'. Me thinkest that I have 'misplaced the allotment'..whoops..I mean..'lost the plot'. You want proof? Go ask any 'Tom, Dick, or Harry'. 'Daft as a brush'? Doesn't seem very fair on brushes. Perhaps we should 'sweep the whole thing under the carpet', 'make a clean sweep' and start all over again.

All Over The Place.

Apparently, I can be 'in bits', 'beside myself', don't know whether I'm coming or going, 'shattered', 'falling apart', or even 'cracking up'. Little wonder then that I'm 'all over the place'. I have actually been told, by quite a few people, that they 'love their children to bits'. Well ouch. So in theme with the title of this blog; I shall now write haphazard, disjointed musings that will be...well...all over the place.

I am often puzzled why some folks think my name is the abbreviation or Richard Edward. 'Hey 'Dick Ed'! how are you?' Conclusions, conclusions. Now, if you were able to leap over the words in that last sentence; I suppose you would be 'jumping two conclusions'. Do you think that lumberjacks have an axe to grind? To end this particular paragraph, and for no particular reason; I end it with the following. I was thinking about placing a bet on a butterfly race because I like a bit of a 'flutter'. (If you are British you will know that 'flutter' means a small bet. If you are not British, now you know).

I recall a time when I was coordinating a meeting for a mental health charity. The meeting was disrupted by some smug, self-important chap who seemed to think it was perfectly fine for him to upset our meeting. I asked him kindly to vacate the premises, what with the sensitive nature of the proceedings. Well, he responded by saying; "Do you know who I am!?" 'Why don't you know who you are?', I thought. Due to the potential of causing the group members undue anxiety; I stated, 'Tell somebody who effin' cares'. Okay, I didn't say that either. Tempted as I was to give this guy a somewhat verbal torrent, I did calmly say that I didn't know who he was and for him to please come back after the meeting. Yes, he did leave. He turned out to be the chap that supplied the premises, free of charge. Still, he should of known better.

I did state that this blog would be all over the place. So lets now continue by ending with some further disjointed, totally random thoughts from the depths of my silliness. Have you noticed those hovering insects wearing watches? They are, of course, 'time flies'. Have you seen those hovering insects that have doors, double-glazed windows and a roof attached to them? They are, of course, 'house flies'. You know, I wear 'my heart on my sleeve'. Might explain some of the funny looks I get. I'm very fast at totalling up numbers, I hasten to add. Just about sums it up. And speaking of summing it up...this ridiculous posting is almost finished. It's Friday night, my son is in Prestatyn. Still, I have my two friends in the picture, a hedgehog and a monkey, to keep me company. Oh, and not forgetting, 'Penny', the Jack Russell dog. Penny says : "Gary would you please hurry up and publish your silly blog. I need to go for a walk." I did mention that this blog would be all over the place. "Okay Penny, lets go for that walk."

A Canine Conversation.

The following is an interview that I had with our beloved family member, Penny, the Jack Russell cross. A few years back, we got a Jack Russell cross. Now that is not a very good idea. Darn thing kept nipping at my ankles.

"Hello Penny. Thank you for kindly allowing me to interview you. Anything you would like to mention before I ask you a few questions?" Penny responds: "Hello, yes my name is 'Penny' and I am a Jack Russell. When I say 'Jack Russell', I mean a breed of dog and not to be confused with a certain former England cricketer."

"Thanks Penny. As you are aware, you are a bit of an 'internet star'. Do you enjoy this fame?" Penny replies: "Not 'arf'! But heck, I'm used to fame. I recall, when I was a very young dog, that I was constantly 'hounded' by the 'puppyarazzi'....and those pesky autograph hunters. The number of times they expected me to 'paws', just so I could give them an autograph!"

"Thank you Penny. Now Penny, I would like to try a word association game with you. If I say, 'vacuum cleaner'...Penny? Penny? Whoops, sorry, I forgot you are not exactly best friends with the vacuum. Come on, get out from behind the couch."

"That's a good girl, Penny. You sit there on this couch and we shall continue this interview. Penny, I've noticed that you do not like this time of the year. I get the distinct impression that Halloween and Bonfire Night are not fun times. Seems to me, fireworks equals wet carpet." Penny answers: "I get really scared during this time of year. All those loud bangs and bright flashes make me think that something terrible is going to happen. Why do all those people have to set off those fireworks out in the street? Why can't they go to a controlled display somewhere? It would be much safer, and most likely, much cheaper for them. I wish these people would understand how much it scares a lot of us animals." "Penny, I think you have made some valid points. Thanks for sharing that."

"Penny, I've got just a couple more questions. Would please tell me what's your opinion on cats? Penny responds: "Oh, don't get me started on cats!" Like I mentioned to you before; if the house caught on fire and the smoke alarm wasn't working, I would warn you, whilst 'kitty' would 'eff off' out the catflap. I'm glad we don't have a cat living here. I'd tell it a thing or two."

"Okay Penny. Here is the final question. What do you think would make this world a better place?" Penny says: "We show humans loyalty, love and trust. We pass no judgement. If man could be more like us; this world would be a better place."

"Now I have one question to ask you Gary." "What's that Penny?" "Gary, will I be getting paid for this interview?" "Sure thing Penny. I will give you a 'canine coin'. Here, have a 'dog pound'."

Well, Here I Am.

Well, here I am. The picture on the left is me as a 'lil' dude'. Yes it's a dude. The centre picture is a fresh-faced me of seventeen, in my high school graduation photograph. The above right picture shows me at the age of fifty-five. I took that picture. The reason I took it, was because I could not get anyone to take my photograph. So apologies for getting a clear view up me old nostrils. I'm really quite shy and would not dare ask a stranger to kindly take a snap of yours truly. Unlike, for example, the smiling Japanese tourists who ask me if I would take a a photo of their happy entourage. No problem there, as I gladly oblige and proceed to run off with their state-of-the-art, all-singing, all-dancing camera. Yes, I'm only joking.
'Lil' dude', that sweet child of innocence, could never have envisioned that his future would be clouded with uncertainty and an overwhelming sense of being stupid. Stupid was ingrained in my mind and thus stupid dominated my thinking process. So, as a fresh-faced teenager, friendly, outgoing and caring; I used my bravado to hide the torment of a tortured soul. I was a young man, consumed with stifling fears of revealing the true magnitude of his stupidity. Thus I took the easy route and underachieved.
Oh, I had goals, dreams, aspirations. When I was ten years old, I wrote a play and sent if off to the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. I never received a reply but it didn't matter that much to me. I wrote stories. I dreamt that one day I would be a writer. When I was little, the passion to write burnt strongly within me. I thought that when I grew up I would be this really famous author. Ah, I visualised the adoring fans lined up at my numerous book signing sessions. Then my other reality kicked in. Don't waste your time with writing. You are stupid. You've been told this enough times; so I gave in to my 'inner critic' and the relentless voice in my head that screamed, 'don't bother with your goals, your dreams, your aspirations, take the easy way out, underachieve and hide under the duvet.'
Now I am fifty-six. Still scared of revealing to you just how stupid I feel. Yet, despite this, there is another voice in my head that sings, 'challenge yourself, do not allow those who undermined you, to dominate your life. You are better than that.'
Yes, I am mostly a recluse. Yes, I am mostly alone and isolated. The duvet or doorway dilemma is a constant battle. The good news is that I am determined to get out there and be an integral part of that wonderful world that beckons me.
Well, here I am. I am 'lil' dude', I am that fresh-faced teen, I am that fifty-six year old man. What happens next? Well I know this much. I am becoming stronger and more determined to embrace a positive life. Who knows? Maybe, someday, I will have the confidence to submit my writing to a publisher.

Fall For The Fairy Princess.

I watched as the leaves floated down in gentle whirls. Autumn, glorious autumn. A magical time in my magical garden.

The 'wee folks' were at play; frolicking amongst the fallen leaves. With childlike curiosity, I heard them sing, I watched them dance. The beautiful fairy princess and the garden gnome, at peace in the tranquil haven.

Leaf after splendid leaf, fell like splashes of golden flakes. The breeze gently sighed through the waving branches. The remaining birds sang a haunting tune that echoed all around. A tune in perfect melody with the wind chimes and the the cheerful singing of the wee folks. Sweet sounds, sweet music, sweet vision. A celebration of contentment, happiness and harmony. All was right in their world. The world in my magical garden.

We dream, we pray and we hope. We wish for our world to be a happy place. A world where no man passes judgement on his fellow man. A world, where like the world of the wee folks; a garden gnome can fall for the fairy princess and a fairy princess can fall for the garden gnome.