Saturday, 8 May 2010
'Pee Wee Folks League'
So I told my doctor that I was having trouble sleeping. 'What can I do doctor?' 'I think this might work, Gary. Watch snooker.'
Now I've watched some snooker and I think it can be extremely boring. Sorry, I fell asleep..where was I? Oh yes.... They need to liven it up. Get rid of the bow tie and the vest. Get the players to dress up in clown suits and have a bunch of cheerleaders revving up the crowd to the sounds of 'Celebration' by 'Kool and the Gang'.
Here are some more 'sports'. 'Polo', not to be mistaken for candy mints, a type of Volkswagen, a shirt, or, for that matter, 'Marco Polo', buddy of 'Kublai Khan'. No, I'm referring to the 'sport' that involves a bunch of people riding around on horses they call ponies. The aim of the game is for these folks to ride around on said horses, sorry, polo ponies and bang along a wooden ball with a bamboo mallet in hopes of placing said ball past two goal posts that are placed 24 feet apart. Fascinating eh what?
It should be noted that there is an aquatic version of this game. It is called 'water polo'. There are some slight variations in the rules. In the water polo version of the game, a large ball is thrown at a small goal in hopes of getting the large ball past the goalkeeper. The players ride around on 'seahorses' which are actually known as 'water polo ponies'.
Then there's 'cricket'. This must not be confused with an insect that is closely related to a grasshopper. It has nothing to do with that top hat loving, umbrella carrying cartoon character, 'Jiminy Cricket', who had an obsession with the 'E-n-c-y-c-l-o-p-e-d-i-a'. And it most definitely has nothing to do with a disposable lighter. No, this is a sport I couldn't even begin to explain. What I can tell you is that they have something called 'test' cricket which can last five days or five years. I have heard such statements regarding cricket like 'It's raining, old chap, you lose.' Here are three cricket sporting terms. A'googly'; 'a maiden over' and a 'sticky wicket'.
Ice hockey is a rough, tough sport. Ice hockey is to Canada what 'soccer' , whoops football, is to Britain. Yes, I know, I once went to a fight and a ice hockey game broke out.
The 'wee folks' and some of their little friends wanted to have a go at some North American sports. They tried 'gridiron' which is also known as Canadian or American 'football'.
Now some people might say that North American football is glorified rugby for wimps. I really don't think that's the type or remark you tell a 280 lb.(20 stone) linebacker after his team has just lost on the final play of the game.
The 'wee folks' wanted to try playing baseball. They had heard that in North America they have 'Pee Wee Leagues'. Hopefully, they can get some teams together and form the 'Pee Wee Folks League'.