Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Stick With It.

There was this guy I knew who had a bit of yearly school tradition.  The poor fellow ended up in twelve different schools in twelve years.  At the beginning of each school year he would glue himself to the head teacher.  'Why do you do that?' I asked.  'Well, my parents told me that I should always stick to my principals.'
I have no idea where this blog is going.  It might go for a stroll through the park and end up at a take-away restaurant and order a pizza.  Can you tell I'm typing 'off the top of my head'?  Now how awkward is that?
'Knock, knock!'  Excuse me, ...'someone's knocking at the door.  Somebody's ringing the bell.  Do me a favour, open the door and let 'em in...'  Well, perhaps not.  Okay, I'm back now.  Yet another 'door-to-door' salesman.  I told him I don't need a door and that there is no reason whatsoever that I require a 'shiny new knob'.  'Sir', he stated.  'I'm merely wanting to canvas you.'  'Canvas me?  What?  You want to turn me into some kind of tent?'  He gave me a perplexed look and rushed off.  So quickly that he almost forgot his door, complete with the shiny new knob.
Let me see if I can do something that relates to the title of this posting.  Ah yes, 'stick'.  Apparently, 'stick' can be something that holds two objects together. It can be a small thin branch of a tree.  You can 'stick out like a sore thumb' and end up in a 'stick-up' as you 'stick to your guns' whilst getting 'stick' for living in the 'sticks'.  You can even have a hockey 'stick' , a walking 'stick',  a 'stick' of gum and oh yes...something what is it?  Hmmm...a memory 'stick'.  And speaking of walking sticks.  This shepherd told me he was really struggling.  'Why's that?'  I inquired.  'Just can't get the staff these days.  Nothing but crooks.'
Note my hand desperately clinging on to that wonderful object of alleged stickiness.  It is sometimes known as 'Scotch tape' or 'Sellotape'.  Lets just call it a roll of sticky tape.  Sticky tape, the gift wrapping nightmare.  I usually end up with a series of teeth marks on said sticky tape.  It's one of life's great mysteries that the beginning part of the tape magically blends into the roll.  Several teeth marks later and I discover that broken shred of tape that comes of the roll and sticks to my fingers.  Then, I start again, frantically searching for that elusive spot that indicates where the beginning part of the tape is now hiding.  Yep, one of life's great mysteries.  Along with the mystery of the missing pens, combs and socks.
Right then, that's enough of this.  I managed to stick with it.  I hope you were 'glued' to your computer screen as you read the musings of a man who tried not to get unstuck.  If you somehow managed to stick with it and read to the end of this posting...well done!


  1. HAHAHA!!!

    I would have shit and died, if you would have said to me,

    "You want to turn me into some sort of a tent?"

    I wouldn't have been able to hold my shit together! I literally damn near fell out of my seat just reading it!

  2. Hi Gary. This stream-of-consciousness style of writing is a lot of fun. It's as if you have let us in to your own private hell!
    You should be on the stage.....sweeping up!

  3. So... you want to canvas me..... is that your intent?"

    made me laugh out loud, Gary. A great way to start the day.
    love as always, Julie.

  4. Yes, I stuck with the message and enjoyed the journey as it clearly became clear that you'll never be stuck for words.

  5. You know how you get a shiny new knob, don'tcha? You have someone polish it real nice n' hard for ya.

    Sorry. Couldn't resist.

    Your playful way with words in this posting and those before it once again causes the mind to unstick itself from all of life's stresses and allows for gentle whimsical thoughts to dance merrily in my head. Who's knockin' at my noggin's door? Why, let's look and see! Why yes, it is that crazy gent, Gary, holding a roll of sticky tape in his hand, ready to wrap it around my brain and take it hostage for a welcome bit.

    Yee-hoooo. Whatta ride!

  6. I felt like I just taken a test and I may not have passed.

    Unfortunately, I have "Someone's knocking at my doo-oor, somebody's ringin the bell..." stuck in my head rendering me unable to function in my daily tasks.

  7. Hey Ashley,
    Make sure you don't fall off your seat when you are doing one of your awesome videos:-)
    This one salesdude tried to sell me some double-glazed windows. 'Why the hell would I want double-glazed windows?' I asked. 'It would take me twice as long to wash them!'
    Take care and stick with it, Ashley.

  8. Hello bazza,
    I suppose it is quite obvious that I am rather bored. My private hell knows no boundaries:-)
    I should be on stage sweeping up the rotten fruit cast my way.
    Thanks bazza.

  9. Hi juliet,
    Thanks for such an 'in tents' comment. I shall try not to respond with a 'teepeecal' reply.
    I'm glad you laughed out loud. A bit of fun works wonders.
    Thanks Julie.
    With respect and kind wishes, Gary x

  10. Hi John,
    I'm not usually stuck for words. I used to annoy this one teacher who kept telling me to 'put a cork in it, boy!'
    Cheers, John.

  11. Hi Kelly,
    I had a hunch you could not resist the innuendo in my posting. There was this one lady selling doors who showed me an impressive pair of knockers...
    I know we both realise that having a bit of fun can help ease the stresses and strains of this often too hectic world. Okay, here goes..places sticky tape on Kelly's brain. That's a wrap, folks.
    Take care, friend. I'm off in search of a 'stick' insect....

  12. Hi lifeshighway,
    I'm really sorry to hear that. 'Sister Susie, brother John
    Martin Luther, Phil 'n' Don
    Brother Michael, Auntie Gin
    Open the door, let 'em in, yeah..'
    I hope you can get back to your normal tasks, fairly soon:-)
    'Paul McCartney', you have some explaining to do...

  13. Sir Tom Eagerly20 May 2010 at 05:07

    Some genius has now invented Sellotape dispensers! It's the greatest invention since perforated toilet paper. Talking of doors, did you hear about the gynaecologist who tried to wallpaper his hall through the letterbox?
    Am I too hot for the room?

  14. Ah, Tom Eagerly, or is it Tom Eagerley or it Sir Tom Eagerley or is it Sir Tom Eagerly? Has one made up their mind yet?
    Well Tom, an excellent attempt at a touch of humour. Your response may just get one in a flap.
    Dude, I don't reckon you are, "too hot for the room?" In fact I figure you are so cool you go into the freezer section of your local 'Marks and Sparks', my good chap, just to warm up.
    Jolly hockey sticks, your way, Gary

  15. You had me glued! Scotch tape isn't quite as bad to use as duct tape, but it looks kinda bad on a gift. :)
    Very funny post!

  16. Hi Cher,
    Very good! I was considering using electrician's tape for wrapping gifts. Darn stuff kept giving me electric shocks:-)
    Thank you for commenting.
    Kind wishes, your way, Gary

  17. Hi Gary,
    I like tape in all sizes, and colours. When you can't sink your teeth into something, what's the harm using a little gum, erm, sticky paste or tape?! It's all good; makes for a DIY day ~
    Lovely read, Gary.
    Peace and respect, Dixie x

  18. Sir Tom Eagerly21 May 2010 at 21:32

    My friend I am going to take a short break and sort some stuff out, (dry out etc).
    Sir Tom of Eagerly Hall will return! Thank you for letting me abuse your hospitality.

  19. Aha!

    I had to laugh at the bit about the sellotape. I guess nearly everyone has had that problem about finding the ridge. But not everyone would have the initiative to write about it.

  20. Hi Dixie,
    Some of the tape on offer is most definitely something you can get your teeth into.
    Do you use a tape measure to check the size of the tape? I once used a tape to measure a tape worm. What am I saying? Who needs sleep? lol
    DIY wishes, your way, Gary x

  21. Hi Sir Tom,
    Hey friend, you do want you need to do.
    You have never abused my hospitality. Always a pleasure having you visit. I am very grateful for your magnificent presence. Take very good care, Sir Tom.
    Peace and positive wishes, your way, Gary :-)

  22. Hi Bob,
    Glad you could stick around long enough to leave a comment. Most kind of you.
    I do like to have a bit of fun with just about any topic imaginable. I was thinking about doing a blog about those tablets you put in your cistern. The ones that are supposed to make your toilet water turn a pretty blue, or green, or now, purple colour. Well, that bloody tablet seems to work for the first flush. Then it gets stuck to the bottom of your cistern. So you reach in and jiggle said tablet around a bit. Then you flush again. For one magical flush; you get this really dark coloured toilet water. Then the flippin'
    tablet stops working again..
    Well, I was going to do a blog about that. However, I changed my mind...
    Thanks Bob and have a nice weekend.
    With respect, Gary.

  23. HAHA. This was funny. I had to laugh at the kid having to change twelve schools. The sellotaping was hilarious!:)

  24. Greetings Ajit,
    Always good to see your icon popping up on my comments.
    Based on some the antics that have happened in your life; I kinda' had a hunch you would like this one.
    Have a very nice day, Ajit.
    Respect and stuff, your way, Gary:-)

  25. Again great wordplay and amusing observations you should definitely 'stick with' your writing Gary you are an inspiration! Best wishes, Simon :)

  26. Hi Simon,
    Thanks for sticking around and leaving a comment.
    It was very nice of you to come and visit. Stick with it and stay positive.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.