Friday, 5 March 2010

The 'Apathy Workshop' Has Been Cancelled Due To Lack Of Interest.

The 'Apathy Workshop' has been cancelled due to lack of interest.  Now then, you may note the above photograph.  It is a picture of a hedgehog advising you to stop and consider not reading this blog for all the following reasons.
This posting will be completely and utterly ridiculous.  It will be a series of disconnected, random musings of someone who obviously has nothing worthwhile to write about.
Right goes.  Here's how to be charmingly reassuring.  Walk up to a friend and say the following, 'Hey, my good friend.  I don't care what all the others say about you; I think you're okay.  It doesn't matter to me that everyone else hates your guts; I think you're just fine.  Heck, I refuse to believe all that malicious gossip that has been spread around about you and your not-so-secret fetish for public transport.  I mean, really!  Does it matter that you are a 'Metrosexual'?'
Speaking of outrage.  Imagine my shock when this guy told me that his wife had been cheating on her boyfriend?
Here are a few definitions.  'Con artist'- someone who does paintings of prisoners.  'Cross-dresser'-a person who gets really angry when they can't find matching socks. 'Homophobe'-the fear of homogenised milk products.  'Homo Erectus'-(I'll let you figure out the definition of that one) 'Prick up your ears'-(I won't tell you the meaning of that one.  But ouch and no thanks!).
Apparently, Barack Obama, has been learning Burlesque dancing.  'Yes, we can can!'
This completely and utterly ridiculous posting is almost finished.  Hopefully, you did not read any of the above and took the advice of our friend, the hedgehog.  So based on that; you wont be reading the conclusion that goes like this.  'Do I detect a tear?'  Said my friend in their posh English accent.  So I checked my trousers to see if the split had returned to a rather embarrassing location.  'You look like you have been crying', my friend added.  So now it is time for me to get the lead out.  It's nearly time to go.  Time to get the lead out and attach it to the dog's collar.
Before I go..yes I know, get on with it.  If you did bother to read the above; you may have noted that some of the rubbish (garbage) written in this blog has been used by me before.  Just shows that I'm getting lazy.  So in the spirit of laziness; here's another old one of mine.  This guy told me that his hobby is 'racing pigeons'.  I asked him, 'Who wins?  You or the pigeon?'  Oh, one last thing.  The 'Comedy Knitting Workshop' had me in stitches.....


  1. Dear Gary,
    Are you feeling bored, at all? Just wondering.
    Anyway, addled, crazy, nuts, crackers, etc, etc, etc. Your blog is all of the above, but also very funny and a pleasure to read.
    From your blogging and 3-D pal,

  2. I think the person wrote this very funny post should write the rest of the blog!

  3. Gary, I read through your very pleasurable disjointed post and felt that it succeeded in melting the block in my head, that's been stopping me from producing another post up on my site.

    I also thought that hedgehog played the apathy emotion rather well, that it brought a tear down my right eye.

    Best wishes from Malaysia, and keep the thoughts flowing because you're uniquely gifted!

  4. Ahh, yes... finally making my commenting rounds... right down the ol' blogroll line.

    Against the hedgehog's wishes, I read your post, anyway. I found it to be light, crazy, amusing as heck and then some. Your mind might be wandering with this one, but it is definitely moving in the right direction.

    Feeling better,


    P.S. Take care, dude, as always

  5. Great stuff, Gary. Always good to laugh. I was listening to radio 2 the other day and somebody phoned in to complain that a cafe they wanted to eat at was closed for lunch between 12 and 1pm every day. Know that has very little to do with your blog, but that made me smile, too.


  6. Dear David,
    Me bored? ZZzzzzz...huh what? where was I? Oh yeah.
    Thank you for such a fine list of compliments. I get the impression you would be rather worried if I started stringing some coherent sentences together.
    Thanks David. You are doing an excellent blog. Always thought provoking.
    With respect and confusion, Gary:-)

  7. Hi bazza,
    When I find the person who wrote this blog; I shall tell them to get the rest of the blog written.
    Thanks bazza.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)

  8. Hello Shanaz,
    I'm really pleased that I may have been of some help in you getting another posting published.
    Shanaz, you do a wonderful blog and it is always worth the wait.
    The hedgehog photograph does look decidedly bored with the whole proceeding. When you say 'tear'; I must assume you are referring to the watery variety and not some sort of rip:-)
    And to you, my friend in Malaysia, warm wishes from England:-)

  9. Hey Kelly,
    Glad you dropped by. No, not literally:-)
    Disobeying the hedgehog eh? Oh the shame of it. Still, I'm very glad you thought the posting was amusing.
    My mind does do some wandering. In fact, I'm all over the place. However, if you reckon I am going in the right direction; I suppose that is either a good thing or a frightening concept:-)
    Hey man, glad you are feeling better. Spring is on its way and the sun will be shining.
    Take good care and thanks again.
    Respect, your way, Gary

  10. Hi Suzanne,
    Always good to laugh. I think that is well funny that a restaurant was closed for lunch during lunch time. Not a good business move, I figure.
    Thanks Suzanne. Much success with your ongoing writing pursuits.
    Kind wishes, Gary x

  11. Some words or phrases are just plain silly without even having to think laterally.

    Metrosexual! Just who thought that one up.

    Is meant to describe those people who have sex on a train?

  12. I thought your ramblings were witty and provocative, in the best of ways. It turns out you are a terrific writer even when you feel a bit off-center. So take a break if you must, then write on!

  13. Hi John,
    We do have some rather silly expressions. Somebody told me to 'eat your heart out!'. Well no thanks on that one:-)
    I do get a 'kick' out of the term 'Metrosexual' I've hear a rumour that it was started by some guy named 'Bart'. 'BART' is also the abbreviation for San Francisco's 'Metro' system or 'Bay Area Rapid Transit'; which I have had the great pleasure of riding. What am I saying?
    Thanks John. With respect, Gary

  14. Greetings Cher,
    Glad to know you think my ramblings are 'witty and provocative'. That is a very nice compliment coming from such an excellent writer such as your good self.
    I'm actually quite refreshed. My writing is a very valuable therapeutic outlet for me. Although, judging by my latest blog; maybe I do need a 'break'. I'll think about that over 'breakfast':-)
    Thank you, Cher. I shall endeavour to comment more on your exceptional blog.
    With respect and kindness, Gary

  15. Hi Gary,

    I, too, am searching for some inspiration, something worth writing about... Thank you for the humor and the wonderfully cute picture of the hedgehog.

    It brought a smile to my face, when I needed one.


  16. Hi Gary,
    Loved the post. Well, I always spoke that way. Writing intelligent (irrelevant) one-liners didn't fetch me anything in my Physics exam. I wonder why... lol

    BTW, I would have left if the hedgehog was holding a "GO" sign... hehe

    Have a great day!

  17. HAHA!! I knooooow what you mean by 'prick in the ear....' *Crazy Brunette says in a sing song voice*

    I thought it was fucking classic!!!

  18. Hi Sonya,
    Your writing is inspirational. I am big admirer of your transparent writing.
    I'm so pleased that I brought a smile to your face. We all need a bit of a laugh and not take life too seriously.
    Thank you, Sonya.
    With respect and kindness, Gary

  19. Hi there 'Mr Stupid',
    Speaking of exams, I was lousy at my mathematics tests. Something just didn't add up.
    I see where you are coming from in regards to the hedgehog. I think I should 'stop' and think about 'go'.
    You have a great day and I'm pleased that your computer is working again.
    Take it easy dude. With respect, Gary:-)

  20. Hello 'Crazy Brunette',
    Welcome to the festivities.
    That's one heck of a singing voice you got there. I reckon we should 'prick up our ears', pay attention and have a right good listen.
    I thought my definition of 'prick up your ears' might have been a bit of a 'cock up':-)
    All the best and thanks for dropping by.
    Kind regards, Gary :-)

  21. Just remember, Gary, that while nice guys may finish last...they get to spend the most time on the track!

  22. Hi Henry,
    And in the naked 100 yard dash, once again I finished last. Now that's what I call a losing streak...


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.