Saturday, 20 March 2010

A Right Cook Up.

It seems like every time I switch on the television; I'm subjected to yet another cooking show.  Early historical records indicate that cooking shows were happening long before the invention of television.  Cooking shows were popular in ancient Egypt.  For instance, one particular Pharaoh had a very popular cooking show held in his kitchen.  It was titled, 'Ramses' Kitchen Nightmares'.  A group of invited Egyptian guests would be entertained in his kitchen as Ramses awed them with his culinary prowess.  His speciality was a wonderful concoction with an exceptionally spicy bean as the main ingredient.  They would find, much to their delight, after consuming said meal; that they could all toot in common.  Ah, ancient Egyptian food...just like mummy used to make.
No doubt, you have seen some of these shows.  Here are a few of them.  There is one cooking program that has several recipes for fowl birds.  This show is titled, 'Can't Cock, Won't Cock.'  And speaking of cocks; you may have also seen 'The Naked Chef'.  Then, of course, you may have been thrilled to have watched such dining delights as 'Ready, Steady, Yuck', 'The Extremely Hairy And Hard To Understand What The Heck They Are Saying Bikers Food Tour Of Britain', 'Come Whine And Dine With Me' and of course, that classic cooking show, 'The Galloping Gobbler'.
The list goes on and on and... Heck, even 'Michael Winner' that British film director and producer who brought us such films as 'Dish Wish', is now in on the act.  'Michael Winner's Dining Stars', a cooking program where he gets the opportunity to demand perfection from amateur cooks.  Every dish must be perfectly presented or the poor cook gets criticised because the carrot is not centred correctly.  Even the 'wee folks' are considering having their own cooking show.  The name of their contemplated show?  'Good Gnome Cooking', or maybe, 'Gnome-Cooked Meals'.  The wee folks don't understand what all the fuss is about in regards to perfect presentation.  They figure it all works out in the end.  That's it then.  This posting has been a right cook up...


  1. The wee people are in the soup, yet again. Sigh. It is guite gratifying to realise that we are not alone.
    Love ya maan

  2. LOL!!! I have to agree that the cooking shows are numerous and quite frankly more than I can handle. I mean can I possibly fit more into my day and then cook something gourmet as well? Thanks for the posting. It's cute and I always love the inuendo's.

  3. Gary, I am looking forward to Celebrity Can't Cook Won't Cook in the Country on Ice Nightmares. It just might get commissioned.
    I remember, some years ago, being in a bar in France and there was a TV programme with a young chef and all the people in the bar, mainly farmers and labourers, were animatedly discussing what was happening on screen. I recall thinking that this could never happen in England. Boy, was I wrong! You overhear people talking about their favourite TV chefs regularly now.
    What a change!

  4. Dear Gary,
    You appear to be right about the now ubiquitous cooking show. There was a time when I once quite liked them- I even enjoyed watching Gordon Ramsey (not his Egyptian mate Ramses) shouting at people. Now these sort of programmes tend to get on my "forking" nerves (can I say that?).
    Indeed, along with shows about antiques, the cookery programme must go down as one of the most pervasive and annoying.
    I loved this post Gary, as it almost seemed to make sense!
    Hoping you are well and all is well.
    With Very Best Wishes,

  5. Hello Philip,
    The 'wee folks' like the occasional 'Pot' noodle:-) I do wish them well if they manage to set up their own cooking show.
    We are not alone and the wee folks send you magical love...
    Kind wishes, Gary

  6. Hi Heather
    Innuendos? Moi? Next you're gonna' tell me the title of my posting was an innuendo lol.
    Hey, despite the fact you are extremely busy; you are an excellent cook. However, I was disappointed that you did not centre the carrot correctly on the plate:-)
    All the best, dear friend, Gary

  7. Hi bazza,
    You may be worryingly close to the truth with the commissioning of said show.
    So now the talk in the pubs is not about who is going to win the Premier League but who is their favourite chef on television. Yikes! :-)
    Thanks bazza. With respect and best dishes, your way, Gary.

  8. Dear David,
    'Ramses' was known to curse in the finest 'Hieroglyphics'. Perhaps he was the inspiration behind that 'fowl' mouthed chap you allude too.
    What the fork, David? Can I say that?
    So you think this posting almost seemed to make sense? What have I done? lol
    I'm okay, whatever okay is. I hope you are well and staying positive.
    With warm wishes and respect, Gary.

  9. Hey Gary, I agree. Too many cooking shows... and they're everywhere on cable and satellite tv. I like the ones you are talking about, though. I traveled back in time see that one in Egypt. They were the first to come up with the food "pyramid", that shows how many portions of different food groups you are supposed to eat in a day. Maybe if you put the wee folks in a time machine (you can borrow mine) and send them back to that time, they could pick up a few pointers for their own show.

    Just an idea. Take care, Kelly

  10. Hey Kelly,
    I've just been watching television. Guess what was on? Yes it was a cooking show. It had some English dude screaming and swearing at some rather startled American restaurant owners.
    I heard about their 'pyramid' portions concept. Evidently they had another cooking show back in ancient Egypt titled, 'Something sphinx in the kitchen.'
    I think that would be a great idea to send the 'wee folks' back to ancient Egypt in your time machine. Send them to the desert (dessert) section for some sweet pointers:-)
    Thanks Kelly and see you at Stargate headquarters:-)

  11. LOL, yes, too many cooking shows, too much time on my hands. I should probably watch some of them, but heck, my dear husband does such a good job of cooking, I couldn't bear to interrupt.

    Thanks for the chuckles, Gary!

  12. Gary, this was a very witty post! You had me laughing when you started with Ramses! There are cooking shows here in the States too. And right after them are the work-out programs so you ban lose all the weight you've put on after preparing some of these sumptuous meals. I am a bit suspicious of the work-out programs. The women are all quite slim and I'm betting they used to watch the cooking shows, got fat, then got liposuction. Yes, I'm sure of it!

  13. I agree that there are so many cooking shows. Every channel I go to on a Sunday, I find these guys. With a fake expression and a guest who seems to have had a Heart attack having the dish! lol

    My Mom always watches these. Though, most of them aren't prepared... hehe

    Cute post. Loved reading. Have a good day!:)

  14. I have to give this one a serious ROFLMAO. Bwahaha. You really know how to give me a good time whenever I come here. You can be serious in some cases, and that's ok, but in times like these, you make me feel that I've just eaten a can of beans.

    Your post reminds me of a cooking show that my grandmother used to watch all the time. I think I was still in gradeschool then. The cooking show was called "Wok With Yan." It was a very nice show... made me hungry all the time. Plus, I like the portion where Mr. Yan creates artwork with food stuff. Really awesome.

    Great post Gary! And thanks for the good laugh. =D

  15. Hi Joylene,
    Maybe your husband would like to have his own cooking show? I mean, just about anybody has one these days. I've heard a rumour that 'Bob and Doug Mckenzie are going to have their own cooking show on Canadian television titled, 'The Case of Beer And Some Back Bacon Eh Cooking Show.'
    Thanks Joylene. Your comments are much appreciated.
    Kind wishes, your way, Gary:-)

  16. Hi Cher,
    I'm very aware of the cooking shows in the States. We get to see, oh the joy; Gordon's American version of 'Kitchen Nightmares'.
    We have now sent over Jamie Oliver to sort you guys out:-)
    What you mention in regards to cooking shows and work-out shows; ties in very nicely with that other genre show we get such as '10 Years Younger' and '60 Minute Makeover' Whoops..I'm getting confused..'60 Minute Makeover' is a home improvement show.
    Thanks for the laugh, Cher.
    With respect, Gary

  17. Hello 'Mr. Stupid',
    You only get these shows on Sunday? If that be true, sound like you are in luck:-)
    Perhaps your Mother might like her own cooking program. You could be on the show every week. Just think of the fun as she tries out new recipes on you:-)
    Have a great day, yourself. Nice to see your computer appears to be working.
    Take good care, Gary:-)

  18. Hi Ryhen,
    I'm glad you enjoy yourself here. I enjoy your visitations.
    I do like to try different types of postings. But heck man, aint this fun?
    I used to watch 'Wok With Yan' when I lived in Vancouver. I remember it being a nice and easy show with a bit of fun.
    Thanks Ryhen. Peace and respect, Gary:-)

  19. Wee folks cooking up a cooking show! The two of them posing behind the Pot Noodle, Bombay Bad Boy, is priceless.

    "They would find, much to their delight, after consuming said meal; that they could all toot in common. Ah, ancient Egyptian food...just like mummy used to make." - Toot in common!? OMG! The next line, is funny. ha ha ha.

    I do my own cooking show most of the time, when I am alone. But I can't say the food has the same quality of the TV cook experts. My mother says it's not too bad, but then, maybe, she's just saying. :p

  20. Hello Shanaz,
    Well, I tried a 'Pot' noodle and didn't feel any different:-) Of course, I once had a 'Happy Meal' at 'McDonalds' and it didn't make me happy.
    I'm sure you are a very good cook, Shanaz. I think you should see if you could get your very own television cooking show. 'Shanaz Does Satay.'
    Thanks and kind wishes, your way, Gary:-)

  21. Very true, Gary. But I'd definitely watch a cooking show hosted by the 'wee folks'.


  22. Hi Suzanne,
    And the 'wee folks' would have their first show specialising in baking products such as angel and fairy cakes:-)
    Thanks Suzanne. With respect, Gary x

  23. Magically delicious and so is your blog: a feast of fun. Thank you.
    With respect and kindness, Dixie x

  24. Hi Dixie,
    Thank you. It was a lot of fun writing this bun..I mean one:-)
    Right then..lets go and see if the 'wee folks' left me any 'Lucky Charms'.
    With respect and magic, Gary x


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.