Saturday, 29 January 2011

Read This And Puke.

'Hi there, yes it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.  Gary, or klahanie, is sitting staring at the computer.  I've seen that look before.  Something tells me that he's going to write one of his cringe-worthy, vomit-inducing, puke-fest postings.  Oh well, let him get on with it.  Maybe he wont notice I've typed this part out on his 'saved to draft' posting.  Hee hee...Note my enthusiasm.  I'm going back to sleep.'

Ah, tis been such a lovely day.  A winter's day of glorious splendour that touched the very depths of my pure and joyous heart.  And the birds they doth sing.  'Tweet, tweet...tweet, tweet....tweet, tweet...'  The sun,  the beautiful setting sun, casts rays of hope on a glowing pink horizon.  What a wondrous day it's been and like the pretty little birds, my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams, float upwards and soar free, free to find the gifts of magic, beyond the milky way.

Behold, cast thine eyes upon the reminders of an autumn past, a summer long forgot and the gleeful anticipation of a spring yet to arrive.  Do not worry, my magical little friends, for soon, very soon, the promise of spring and the buds of tranquillity, will burst forth in radiant beauty.
My garden, created for the love of nature.  What an enchanting place, my garden is.  A world where sorrows are set aside and dreams of better realities, fill my mind with happy thoughts.  My garden, my sanctuary, an oasis in my desert of despair.

And what of the wayward garden gnome?  Perhaps he has ended up on my bedroom ledge to marvel at the beauty of the soon to flourish, fuschia  plant.  Maybe, just maybe, his heart is pounding with playful thoughts, of those playful times, with the other 'wee folks', in the garden that beckons, beyond my front door.

And my clock.  Ah yes, my clock.  It ticks and it tocks, my very large clock.  My clock says it's time to end this tale and look for the mouse that ran up my clock and down my clock.

In closing, I, shy, modest and oh so humble ME, has received the 'Stylish Blogger Award' from a gentleman whose informative and fascinating pictorial wildlife blog is a must read.  John over at Hedgeland Tales  I thank you kindly, good sir, for bestowing this award to me.
The terms of which I accept this prestigious award is to tell you about five of my favourite things.  (Oh no, suddenly the soundtrack to the 'Sound of Music' came into my head).  So, 'these are a few of my favourite things', well five of them.
1.  I love to go for nice peaceful walks with Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.
2.  I love ice hockey and having lived in Canada, it's the 'law' to love ice hockey.
3.  I enjoy the wonderful interaction between us all in the great blogging community.
4.  I love our precious planet and all the wildlife we must remember to share with it.
5.  I love my friends and family.

And now, I pass on the Stylish Blogger Award on to the following five, highly regarded, bloggers.  Here I go, 'opens envelope' and the winners are......

1.  Joylene over at  One Moment At A Time On Cluculz Lake.  A gifted published author and a darned nice lady.  And she's Canadian eh.
2.  TheraScribbles   This remarkable blog is written with such honesty and candour.  I would highly recommend you check out this new blogger and say 'hello'.
3.  There is Something about Maria   Maria writes poignant, positive and uplifting stories.  Beautiful and powerful stuff.
4.  The Curious Quest Questioning Questions Of The Inquisitive  Sy, the writer of this intriguing blog, is definitely one to check out.    
5.  Soundoff   This writer and a very dear friend of mine, writes inspirational, positive and powerful stories of turning negatives into positives.  I would urge you to kindly check out Heather's thoughtful and deeply profound site.

Thank you and may you have a most peaceful and positive day.


  1. No doubt a much deserved award. =)
    Your blog posts are as wonderful as you are.

  2. And the birds they doth sing. 'Tweet, tweet...tweet, tweet....tweet, tweet...'

    You weren't kidding! Yet, I am. That was a delightful post as always.

    Penny looks wonderful tonight as she reposes on the armchair.

    Congrats on the award. Most deserved it is too, dear Gary :)

  3. Hi LilPixi,
    You are too kind:-)
    I'm very flattered by what you have said and you're making me blush.
    Please take care and keep smiling. You know you want too:-)
    With kindness and good wishes, your way, Gary :-)

  4. life doesn't get much better than a walk... unless... it's a walk with a dog...

    congratulations on another deserved award :)

  5. Hi Wendy,
    Just a moment. There, that's better. I felt a bit sick. Did a very silly thing and had a quick glance at the nauseating and toe-curling excuse for a story I somehow formulated in between hastened trips to the bathroom to violently vomit.
    "Reposes" Yikes, one of them fancy type words. Must go look that search...'reposes definition'....'a state of quiet restfulness; peace or tranquillity'. Ah, okay:-) Yes, Penny does look calm, bordering on bored out of her mind, as she slumped on the armchair as I recited to her some possible sentences in the posting that I just posted, but shouldn't really look at again, because, well because, I might start feeling a bit unwell or something. And with that, this somewhat long response is going to end....
    Take care and thanks, dear Wendy, for the congratulations. Much appreciated. Wait, I'm still typing...enough already....:-)
    Kind wishes and thanks for all the fun on the contest over at your wonderful site.

  6. Hi Joanne,
    Oh I so love going for a walk with the dog. No arguments, just a good ol' stroll:-)
    Thank you very much for the congratulations.
    I do so hope you have a nice weekend.
    In kindness, Gary :-)

  7. You. Fricking. Rock.

    Great post.
    Great post.

  8. Surprisingly I didn't puke. I waited for the peristalsis to begin, but none came - there was no urge at all!

    On the contrary I felt good, made myself a mug of chlorophyll and continued reading...

    Congrat on the award Gary. Take care my friend.

  9. Dear Gary,
    Congrats on yet another blogging award and for giving us such a mellifluous, if emetic, posting (ha, now go get the dictionary!).
    I love the picture of, and have always admired and envied, your extremely large clock. In fact, I didn't know that you had such a big one!
    So, do I detect just a hint of subversion amidst this pretty picture?
    Yours with Very Best Wishes,

  10. I would love to see your garden.

    Congrats on the award. You deserve it.


  11. Hi Gary. A very uplifting post, nearly sabotaged by Penny!
    Another well-deserved award for you. Have a great weekend.
    Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

  12. Congratulations on the award! You totally deserve it :).

    And your garden looks amazing :P. Well the gnome anyway.

    I'l be paying a visit to your awardees

    Have a lovely weekend good sir!

  13. Oh Penny you modest internet star!!! You are a treasure!! Truly!! Me and Charlie the cat! absolutely adore klahanie or Gary's musings - he has a poet's heart and an artist's soul!! He sees beauty and pathos and passion in his life and he uses words to convey these!!!

    p.s. Congratulations with such a wonderful award!!!!
    Take care

  14. Congrats on the much deserved award, Gary. When I read the title of this post, I thought for sure I was being given a guarantee that I was going to wretch on the spot after reading this latest literary offering from you. Sadly, upon reading this fine post, I was neither able to puke, fart, spit or poop. Gosh darn it! I want my money back. :)

    I hope you have a peaceful weekend, my friend. Tell the wee folk, Penny and the tweet-tweet-tweeting birds I bid them good day and pleasant tomorrows.

  15. Thanks, eh! I'm honoured and will wear this award with delight. Do you really think winter will end soon??? Gee, I hope so! Thanks again, Gary. And congratulations on your award.

  16. This is wonderful, Gary. I'm very happy for you. Well deserved award!

  17. I can only take it that Penny wrote with affection? I mean, dogs are rather fond of puke, aren’t they?

    Congratulations of another award.

    I have a question for you, if I may make so bold? I’m sure I probably should know the answer to this, but what does Klahanie mean?

  18. Hi Tom,
    Why thank you very fricking much, kind sir:-)
    Hope you are having an awesome weekend.
    Take care, Gary :-)

  19. Hi Grandpa,
    Oh no. I really must try harder to come up with or is that throw up with some more nauseating sentence structures:-)
    Aha, you had a mug of chlorophyll.
    Well now I'm green with envy. Or maybe I'm just green from vomiting:-)
    Thanks for the congrats.
    Hope you are having a peaceful weekend.
    Kind wishes, Gary

  20. Dear David,
    Thank you, from the very depths of my pure and gentle heart, the congratulations, for yet another, thoroughly deserved award.
    It was my honour and great pleasure to present to you my sweetly flowing but potentially vomit-inducing attempt at formulated sentences in such a way that it took you to new heights of tweeness.
    David, did you detect a possible innuendo in regards to my tick tock, what's up clock, clock? Me and and the slightest hint of subversion? Never, I say, never!
    Kind wishes and see you soon,

  21. Hi Misha,
    I have a very nice garden. It took a lot of hard work, love and determination to turn a forlorn dump into a place of tranquil beauty. Excuse, I'm going to be sick:-) Actually, there are postings on my site of my garden and way down below all my awards on my site, are two photos of the garden.
    Thank you for the congratulations on the award. Very much appreciated.
    In kindness, Gary :-)

  22. Hi bazza,
    Yes, I'm beginning to believe that darned dog is not such a modest internet star, after all:-)
    And uplifting, thanks. Hmmm...more like 'upchucking' :-)
    Thanks for saying the award was well-deserved. Very kind of you.
    I do so hope you and your loved one have a peaceful weekend.
    Cheers, Gary.

  23. Hi Nas,
    Thank you very much, kind sir, for the congratulations. That is most kind of you.
    My garden is full of the magical 'wee folks' who have many wise and profound lessons to teach us. Sorry, that was sickening:-)
    I'm very glad you are going to check out those fine recipients. Thanks.
    May you, my friend, also have a lovely weekend.
    With respect and good wishes, Gary :-)

  24. Hi Old Kitty,
    Why thank you so much. Shucks, I'm kinda' blushing. Ever seen a dog brush, I mean blush?
    I'm really delighted that you and your lovable cat Charlie, who is a very popular cat and gets load of comments over at your site, find 'klahanie's or Gary's musings, adorable. You know, if wasn't for me, he would not be writing as well as he has. I taught him everything! I tell you, everything! :-)
    Still, under my tutelage, Gary has come a long ways and I'm very proud of my human student. I shall inform him of your very nice compliments and the congratulations for receiving the award. Should of passed on the award to me, 'arf, arf!'
    Pawsitive wishes to you and Charlie, Penny :-)

  25. Howdy Kelly,
    Why thank, my superbly intellectual and deeply philosophical friend, for the congratulations on the highly coveted and much loved, award
    I humbly apologise if the title and the posting did not live up to your eager anticipation of puking your guts out. Me thinkest the awe inspiring beauty of such a literary marvel, has instead left you in a state of euphoric bliss beyond your wildest dreams and expectations. This shows purity and the wondrous magic of your kind and loving soul. Bless you, dear friend, bless you and all that sail on you.
    I'm so sorry it did not arouse in you the urge to perhaps puke, fart, spit or even muster up the old 'turtle's head' from thine posterior or 'ass' as you may well refer to it. Would you accept a cheque or as you Americans call it a 'check'?
    May you also have a peaceful weekend. I shall pass on your kind wishes to all concerned. 'Tweet, tweet..n'stuff:-)
    I bid thee a fond farewell and happy tooting, good sir:-)

  26. Hi Joylene,
    How's it goin' eh?
    May you wear said award with great pride. Perhaps you could stick it on your toque?
    The promise of spring and a new hope shall soon flourish in the magnificence of the great outdoors and within our joyous hearts. So, I guess eh, winter is like almost over eh:-)
    You are very welcome for the award.
    Thank you for the congratulations for me getting this truly awe inspiring and deeply profound award.

  27. Hi Dixie,
    Thank you. I too am happy for me. Makes me want to go outside and join in with the little birds and sing along with them in gleeful harmony:-)
    Thanks for the congratulations.
    I do so hope you have a lovely weekend and stay warm.
    Kind wishes, your way, Gary :-)

  28. Hi Gary, you are a most worthy recipient my friend!
    I heartily agree with your Fact No.4. I just hope there are more people out there who are of a like mind!
    Take care, my friend!
    Follow me at HEDGELAND TALES

  29. Hello Masked Friend,
    Yes indeed, dogs have certain amount of affection in regards to puke. In fact, they do like to barf, I mean bark.
    Thank you for the congratulations. Very kind. Nowhere as big as your trophy cabinet, but do I care? Of course not, as I start sobbing hysterically:-)
    Of course you may ask that question. And of course, because I'm not the self-promoting type, I will not put on the link that leads to my magnificent second ever posting that gives all the details of what 'klahanie' means. Oh no, not me. (Second posting, February 2007, titled 'Tribes and Tributes')
    Thus, I shall tell you what klahanie means. 'Klahanie' is a word from the Chinook Tribe who are located on the Pacific Northwest of North America. The definition of 'Klahanie', is generally accepted as meaning 'The Great Outdoors.'
    May you have a peaceful weekend.
    In kindness, Gary :-)

  30. Hi John,
    You are very kind and I am truly honoured you bestowed this award upon me. Thank you.
    I knew, good sir, that you would very much relate to fact number 4. If only more folks would embrace such an ethos that shines out so brilliantly on your kind and peaceful blog.
    Here's wishing you a peaceful weekend.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)

  31. Been meaning to ask you that for ages. Thank you.

    I really think someone should post a link to that post, and as you’re too shy and humble, I hope it doesn’t embarrass you if I do it?

    Click Here To Find Out What Klahanie means?

  32. Hi Masked Friend,
    My pleasure to let you know.
    That is incredibly kind of you to post a link to that post. Thanks and I reckon I can work through the embarrassment:-)
    Thanks again, Gary.

  33. CONGRATULATIONS on yet another award!

    thank you for being kind enough to pass me the honor.. :)

    and thanks to Enigmatic Masked for posting the link and enlightening me more about you. i've always wondered what Klahanie means, reading the post.. i deeply appreciate it. :)

  34. Coming from you, such an award is high praise indeed. And at such an early phase of my blog as well!

    Thanks and good mental health to us all.

  35. Wll... alright... I'll take the check.... Twist my arm, why don'tcha? :-)


  36. So Penny is snicking up on you Gary ey? Hahaha... That's is such a wonderful pink horizon....!!

    COngratulation Gary for being Stylish!!! And I know right? I'm loving the blogging world to.. specially that communicating and networking really share a great difference.. that everybody can enjoy!!

    Keep up on the lovely day everyday Gary!!! :)

    Say hi to Penny for me!

  37. What a refreshing post :) Congratulations on the blog award! And many, many thanks for visiting my blog and leaving such nice and encouraging words :)

    It's a great pleasure to meet you, Gary.


  38. Hi Maria,
    Why, thank you kindly for the congratulations. Much appreciated.
    You are most welcome for the award. You do a wonderful blog.
    Yes, for sure, that was very thoughtful of our Masked Friend to create the link to the post that describes what 'klahanie' means.
    I am most grateful for our Masked Friend's kind gesture:-)
    And, I deeply appreciate you taking the time to read that archived posting.
    Thanks Maria and may you have a most peaceful and positive week.
    With kindness, Gary :-)

  39. Hi TSB,
    That is very kind of you to say.
    My friend, it my pleasure to have passed on that award to you.
    Your message is an important one and I would hope that more folks go and check out your ethos, an ethos I heartily embrace.
    May we all be a part of creating a positive environment that reduces the stigma that surrounds mental health issues.
    With respect and kind wishes, Gary:-)

  40. Aha Kelly,
    So thrilled you would take the 'cheque'. Or, as you colonials spell it, 'check' :-)
    No problem twisting your arm and giving you a big man hug! Gosh and shucks eh! :-)

  41. Hi Kamila.
    Yes indeed, I go away from my computer and Penny decides to sneak in some of her cheeky writing:-)
    Yes, that was a beautiful pink sunset.
    Thank for the congratulations. Me stylish?..hmmm lol. I know how much you appreciate the interaction within the great blogging community. This is truly a wonderful experience and I know how grateful I am to be a part of it.
    Thanks Kamila and here's wishing you a really pleasant week.
    I shall say 'hi' to Penny for you.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)

  42. Hi Emailman,
    Why thank you very much for your kind words. And thanks for the congratulations on the award.
    It was my pleasure to visit your site and leave a comment. I have a lot of respect for you and your determination in your writing endeavours. Keep going and happy writing.
    Very nice to meet you Kurt:-)
    Hope you have a brilliant week.
    With respect, Gary.

  43. What part was supposed to make us puke?

    I miss going for walks with Macy in the winter, but I'm too much of a wimp to go out for walks here....BRRRRRRR

    Congratulations on the award. Very nice way introduction to your bloggy friends, Gary. :)

  44. Hi Sharon,
    Yes, I know, why am I still awake?
    I made attempt to go into tweeness overdrive. 'Tweet, tweet..' is pretty nauseating. At least it was meant to be:-)
    That's a shame about not going for walks with Macy in the winter. You guys have had some very bad snow storms. Hope it gets warmer soon
    Thanks for the congratulations. And yes, it's a great way to find out about different bloggy friends.
    Thanks Sharon and take care.
    In kindness, Gary :-)

  45. MayI add my congratulations for this well-deserved award. But, I must say this "tweet=tweet" stuff is probably pushing the limit...No, mon amie?

  46. Oh? So that's what grass looks like! Lovely reminder that Spring always follows winter. Thanks for that Gary.
    Also, Congratulations on receiving The Stylish Blog Award! John Saunders, my favorite bird photographer over at Hedgeland Tales certainly has an eye for stylish writing plumes like your blog! With a new giant megastorm coming, I'm glad I have five new blogs to check out!

  47. Dear Gary, I love it that you include the word "sanctuary" in this most awesome post. The wayward garden fairy is actually trying to get into your house, because he's freezing cold sitting outside. I also must tell you that the picture of your fairy friends chilling out on scattered dried leaves is beautiful.
    My mind tries to grasp the significance of this post but if fails, oh it fails again. But I thank you for sharing the joy of getting yet another award for being so stylish! Let's see pictures of you and your new year's style, why don't we? =)

  48. dearest G
    thou doeth have such a touch of the imagination; a touch of the canadian magic all that thous does see and write about is so pukemakingly disney landy wonderful
    I wait with baited breath for the next installlment of your joyous garden and all the sunny creatures who sail her
    read this and heave my man


  49. Hi Count Sneaky,
    Why thank you, good sir, for the congratulations.
    'Tweet, tweet...' pushing the limit? Oh, I hope so:-)
    Cheers Henry.
    Kind wishes, Gary

  50. Hi THE SNEE aka Rebecca,
    Depends what kinda' 'grass' you mean:-)
    Ah, we sure hope that spring follows winter, which in theory, should lead to summer, where in Britain, summer is the warm part of winter. Yes, I have no idea what I'm talking about! :-)
    Anyway, I'm glad you've been given a reminder of the impending spring in the Northern hemisphere.
    Thanks for the congratulations. You are too kind. If was an honour that our friend John, bestowed this highly cherished award upon my humble self. He does a very peaceful nature blog and it is always a pleasure to visit.
    Hope the latest megastorm, aint too mega. Very pleased that checking out the 5 blogs might take your mind off the latest weather front.
    Take care and I hope you are having some peaceful, restful times.
    In kindness, your friend, Gary :-)

  51. Hi Shanaz,
    Ah yes, my garden is my 'sanctuary'. A place to let my mind wander:-) and dream of butterflies and cute little bunny rabbits, playing with carefree abandon.
    You have summarised this posting up, rather nicely, Shanaz. And aren't those magical friends cute amongst the rotting leaves.
    Hey, I have no idea if there was any significance to this posting. I was going to make it more vomit-inducing, but just couldn't find it within me to do so:-)
    It was my thrill to announce that me, such the modest guy, had received one of the most treasured awards in blogland :-)
    Do you really want to see yet more photos of me? Now that would be a 'puke fest' lol. I shall try, maybe even put up some that aren't 'doctored' or show me wearing a long red wig. However, who in their right mind will take my photo? 'Penny, let me show you how to use the camera':-)
    Thanks Shanaz, kind wishes and a truck load of English dried leaves, your way, Gary :-)

  52. Dearest K
    One momenteth whilst I reacheth for my bucketeth:-)
    I shall endeavour to post another magical and wondrous tale of all the pretty, enchanting 'wee folks' who partaketh in wild and rampant sex in my garden beneath the glowing toadstools and mushrooms of mind bending possibilities.
    Thank you K for your comment that has left me with breath that is baited due to an upheaval of well, you know:-)
    Kind wishes and 'take care eh!' As a Canadian would say eh :-)

  53. Hi Gary, it's me again. Would you mind coming over to The Farm? There's another Award bestowed upon your goodself!

  54. Hi Grandpa,
    That was very kind of you and I'm truly humbled that you included me as a recipient of that award, amongst some truly awesome bloggers.
    In peace and kindness, Gary:-)

  55. Ugh. You just had to mention the word puke! I am feeling a bit nauseous today myself! Maybe something I caught from the wayward garden gnome??? Congrats on the award!

  56. Hi her highness, Samantha Vérant,
    My humble apologies, your highness:-)
    Tis not befitting of me, a mere commoner, to mention the word 'PUKE'in your esteemed presence:-)
    Could well be the wayward garden gnome has sneezed and sent you his 'wee' germs. Anyway, I had a word with the gnome and he wishes you good 'elf':-)
    And thank you for the congratulations on the award bestowed upon me. Yes, shy and humble ME!
    Thanks Samantha and take good care.
    I hope you feel better soon.
    With respect and well wishes, Gary:-)

  57. awww
    thanks GARY!!! I'm so honored.. I love your blog and for you to think of me is so very special.. Thank you mr. Awesome :)

  58. wow "mr. Awesome" that was pretty lame..

    I just mean to say THanks in a very non lame way..

  59. Hi SY,
    Awe shucks Sy, you are most welcome to have me pass on this very special, much loved, highly regarded, much cherished, deeply thought provoking and stylish award, to your very special self. Or, something like that:-)
    Actually, folks and here's the really embarrassing bit, usually refer to me as 'Mr. Super Awesome'.
    Too much flattery, oh my goodness.
    Seriously, yes seriously, you do a brilliant blog and I hope more folks check out your brilliance:-)
    Gosh, I'm so nice. Must go and stare at myself in the full-length mirror and amaze myself :-)
    Take very good care and happy writing.
    Kind wishes n' stuff, Gary :-)

  60. you are too nice.. but come check out some nice things I had to say about you Gary.

  61. Hi SY,
    Wow and thanks for what you said about me, yes modest and very shy me, over at you super duper awesome n'stuff site:-)
    We are both just too kind.
    Take good care and thanks for that.
    Right then Gary, back to staring at yourself in the full-length mirror.
    Gosh! :-)


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.