Tuesday, 18 January 2011

Nobody Told Me There'd Be Daze Like These.

'Oh fantastic!' says Penny the Jack Russell and modest internet star.  'I don't want to hear you ramble on with yet another one of your boring stories.  Just type it out and I'll read it later.'

Have you ever had one of those days?  A day where your 'make up kit' decides it would rather argue with you.  A day when your 'fountain' pen decides to drench you with a blue spray that makes you look very much like a 'Smurf', or even worse, a Na'vi from the film, 'Avatar'.  Maybe your day is so bad that you end up being 'strapped for cash'.  Sadly, the person who straps you, refuses to pay and laughs at the ink on your skin.
Apparently, the following is a true story that happened several years ago.  This dude was at Los Angeles Airport and was heading just up the coast to Oakland, California.  The flight would have taken just under an hour.  About an hour into the flight, this chap became quite concerned.  He wondered why all he could see below him was the Pacific Ocean.  Finally, he summoned over a flight attendant.  'Excuse me?  Why is it taking so long to get to Oakland?'   The bewildered flight attendant replied, 'Sir, this plane is not going to Oakland, it's going to Auckland, New Zealand.'  Now you might be thinking he was having a bad day.  Then again, talk about getting your money's worth and visiting another country.  Heck, he may have stopped long enough at Auckland International Airport, to purchase some knitted sheepskin boots or traditional Maori design bone carvings.
The following story definitely happened.  I should know.  My former wife and I were over in Belgium and we needed to use their rail system.  At Brussels train station, we asked for two tickets to 'Saint-Nicolas', which is located in the French speaking, southern part of Belgium.  We purchased our tickets, got on the train and after about half an hour, arrived at our destination.  Then we noticed the name of the place we arrived at.  The name was 'Sint-Niklaas', which is a small town in the northern, Flemish speaking part of Belgium.  At this point, we went over to the ticket counter, bought tickets for 'Saint-Nicolas' and two hours later, arrived at our proper destination.  Thank goodness Belgium is a small country.
Anyhow, I have absolutely no idea why I posted this.  Some folks say they are having a 'bad hair day'.  Sometimes, I think it's more life a 'bad hair life'.  Seriously, you've got to laugh at life's quirky moments.  Anyway, I just finished eating a Chinese meal and I'm about to open the fortune cookie....'Hmmm let's see what great words of wisdom are written on the piece of paper.'   'Help!  I'm being held hostage in a Chinese fortune cookie factory.'  Hey, whatever.  Shit happens.....


  1. Maybe the person stuck in the factory can actually write some good fortunes now.

  2. Life has truly the most wickedest and most warped sense of humour of any entity/non-entity in the universe!!!!

    I think Life just gets most bored and throws wobblies here and there to make, er, life interesting!!


    I say for every bad hairnet day, there's always a positive spin!! Guy who ended up in New Zealand is probably still there and living it up!! You ending up in a different Saint Nicolas than the one intended - well - you got to use the Belgian rail system!! LOL!!

    And Ms Penny!!!! She's the luckiest of all!! She gets to say yay or nay to your story!!! What a star!!

    Take care

  3. Hi Elena,
    For sure and maybe can also find some time to put some decent jokes in Christmas crackers:-)
    Take care, Gary

  4. Hi Old Kitty,
    Nothing like a few of life's um..wobblies :-)
    I think you might be right. Dude probably got to stay in New Zealand. I've actually been to Oakland, California, it's just across the bay from San Francisco. I like San Francisco, very much. Oakland..well um...
    We really should have looked more closely at our tickets. It was quite the grand tour of Belgium, that day. I recall it cost us a heck of lot more than it should of to reach our actual destination. When I think about it, the lady behind the ticket counter at the Brussels train station, had this very smug grin. Hmmmmm..LOL

  5. I can totally see something like that happening to me. That's why I stay in the US and only travel in a car =)

  6. Hi Gary,
    I admit that lately, I've had my share of those kinds of days. My snow shovel gets wedged under the car, I lose my favorite mitten in the two feet of fresh powder, and I can't find my pencil or my car keys. The good news is my car keys didn't fall into the new snow. The bad news is that I never did find my pencil. Please give Penny a little scratch behind her ears...She's probably itching to read and edit the comments!

  7. Hi Crisc,
    Aha, so glad you are taking the wiser option.
    I've driven in the US. Had a real 'fun' time in California. Then I headed back to Vancouver, Canada, a trembling wreck :-)
    Take good care eh.

  8. Howdy Rebecca,
    Oh dear, the good news is that you found your car keys. I mean, really, ever tried starting a car with a pencil? :-)
    Okay, I scratched Penny behind her ears. She's had a look at your comment and has decided it does not need repawblishing
    Take care, Rebecca. I hope you are well and smiling.
    Kind wishes and a new mitten, your way, Gary.

  9. Well this brunette would shut and die... See I have a bubble that includes about a fifteen miles radius of my safe zone.

    Anywhere else and I'm completely put of my element and a bassakwards!

  10. One of those daze ... they are a common occurrence in my life. I should really have been named 'Bridget Jones', being I'm the most accident prone human being I have every known ...

    I hope the blue ink wasn't indelible? Now that, would be a fun post for another time... Hope I'm not tempting fate!

    And as for the chap who ended up in New Zealand - what can I say about that! Hmm ... always thought my neighbor looked suspicious :)

    Most amusing post. Hope you managed to tame your hair? Mine's a lost cause. I look like I've been electrocuted in the summer humidity!

    Hello to Penny :)

  11. Did you say Saint Nicholas? As in Santa Claus? I figured you had ended up at good ol' St. Nick's place at the North pole. Did he let you touch his bag of goodies? Ha-ho ha-ho. Gosh, that was super fun.

    I bet, because some places around the world have names similar sounding, that has happened quite a few times.

    Well, I guess it didn't end up as bad as it could have that day you ended up in the wrong place. I trust you got back home okay after the trip and still had a good time.

    Penny seems to be contemplating life's quirky motives. I wonder what she's thinking. Hmmm. I bet she's thinking that Kelly fellow is quite the comedic genius... or something.

    Take care, Gary. Try to have a dandy, positive day.

  12. Dear Gary,
    Ah, good days, bad days, in fact even ugly days.
    I must say that my bad days seem to be getting fewer. Through a regime of positive thought, exercise, healthy eating and basically living a clean, sober and one might even say, godly existence, I have managed to expel all sadness, negativity and bad occurrences.
    OK, so I'm joking. Life is shit and then you die!
    Still wishing you a very good day, though, Gary.
    With Very Best Wishes,

  13. I hope your day turns out better than that!

  14. Gary, you know I need a good laugh, anything will do, and these do me just fine. So thank you, my friend for making me smile... :))

    Btw Chinese New Year is around the corner, so fortune cookies are popping up everywhere.

  15. Hi. Excellent post and you have reminded me of my story, which happened to me four years ago.

  16. I know exactly what you are saying. Thing is, when these days happen to me, it's like an avalanche of annoyance!

  17. p.s. Penny looks adorable in that picture!

  18. Woof Penny!
    Hi Gary
    I have the urge to say that "It is not the destination but the journey that is important".

    To answer your question the signs I miss, well I missed them so I'm not sure. I think that people have been encouraging me to write for a while and some stuff at work has made me do some thinking. I am going to try and write something longer than my blog posts and see if it works. Watch the bookstores for Mrs Midnites first book??? Don't hold your breath though I am stuck deciding between first and third person :0)
    Mrs M

  19. Good entry, gave me a chuckle in a numbing sort of way, if you get my drift. (I'm having a numb period) And Penny looks like a puppy in this picture, cute......hmmmmm I wonder if I should get a little dog.......later my friend. Thanks.

  20. Hi CB,
    Aha, so I must assume that all your adoring fans must travel to you. I guess I will have to cancel the local parade that was going to celebrate your awesomeness. Just wouldn't be the same without you present :-)
    "bassakwards!" Me thinks you've got your metters lixed ..HA, HA.

  21. Hi Wendy,
    These are the daze of our lives. Oh dear, well at least you managed to type out a comment without any mishaps:-) Which reminds me, my cup of coffee is a bit too close to my keyboard...whoops!
    Indelible. Oh no, no wonder folks keep asking me why I'm so 'blue'.
    Bridget, I mean, Wendy, watch out for that 'fountain' pen :-)
    If your neighbour is looking confused and has an American accent, that might be a bit of a clue.
    Oh my hair is 'tamed'. Although I get really annoyed when I buy a bottle of shampoo that notes 'for greasy hair' and that's exactly what I get. I do believe the 'electrocuted hair' look was all the rage in the Seventies. Might I just add that your hair looks very much under control in your picture icon.
    Thank you Wendy Penny says 'arf, arf!'
    Take good care, Gary :-)

  22. I went to visit my cousin in Switzerland many years ago. It was the first time I’d flown alone, and I was a little unsure. I just kept asking everybody all along the route, including the guy I sat next to in the plane. It was just a pity my luggage didn’t have the gumption to ask too. It ended up on an entirely different plane, going to an entirely different country.

  23. Hi Kelly,
    Why am I not surprised that you would be thinking about good ol' Saint Nick. Actually, to add to our confusion, we were supposed to be going to the North Pole and not Belgium, at all. We had these plans of grooving with Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, a collection of their little helpers and finish of the night with a healthy swig of reindeer urine:-)
    For sure dude. Can you imagine someone wanting to go to Birmingham, England and ending up in Birmingham, Alabama? Gosh and wow, y'all.
    Things did turn out okay, that day. It did take some explaining to the folks in Saint-Nicolas. Good thing my former wife speaks fluent French. And yes thank you, we did have a good time and returned back home, safely.
    Penny has told me that you are a highly intelligent human and obviously a comic genius.
    She thinks you are even funnier than George Dubbya Bush.
    Thanks Kelly. May you also have a peaceful and positive day.
    Kind wishes and a ticket to 'Birmingham', your way, Gary :-)

  24. Dear David,
    Have a nice daze.
    Ah David, just when I thought you couldn't get anymore nauseatingly twee, you suddenly end your comment with the dark reality of a pointless and meaningful existence. Thank you and yes indeed, shit happens and then you become futile dust in the wind.
    Seriously David, here's wishing you a peaceful and positive day. Just remember, if you ever need a chat, you can rely on me. Gosh, I'm so nice :-)
    With very best wishes, your way, Gary.

  25. Hi fairyhedgehog,
    Thanks and I hope so too. What, I took a plane to London, Ontario, Canada and ended up in London, England. How the heck did that happen. LOL
    I hope you're having a very good day.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)

  26. Hi Grandpa,
    It truly heartens me to know that this provided you with a good laugh. My thoughts are with your for a more peaceful and positive future:-)
    Ah yes, Chinese New Year, February 3rd, 'The Year of the Rabbit'. Loads of fortune cookies, with loads of wise messages:-)
    Take very good care.
    In peace and smiles, your way, Gary.

  27. Hi Gary, I think I am having `one of those days` constantly at the moment! I turn the corner and it`s the wrong corner etc,etc! Oh well, I will muddle on, at least I don`t have to fly 5,000km in one go, now that really would put you out if you took a wrong turn!
    Follow me at HEDGELAND TALES

  28. Hi custom fortune cookies,
    Thanks. How are things going at the factory? I hope whatever happened to you four years ago, was a good time.

  29. Hi Samantha,
    I can relate to your "avalanche of annoyance!" Still, somehow, I do try and look on the funny side of situations. No, it aint always easy :-)
    Penny thanks you for thinking she looks adorable. She was actually bored silly as I was telling her about my trip to Belgium before I typed it out.
    Take care, Samantha.
    Kind wishes and smiles, Gary :-)

  30. Hi Mrs Midnite.
    Penny here, 'Arf, arf!' :-)
    Well, that dude had some journey. And the journey through Belgium was very interesting. Got to see a lot more of that beautiful country than I would have ever dreamt of.
    So perhaps the signs you note are telling you to immerse yourself in the magic and the inspirational power of the written word. May I also encourage to give your dreams a go. I shall be first in line at the book signing of your published novel:-)
    I can barely work out what the second person is.
    You take very good care and happy writing!
    Kind wishes, your way, Gary:-)

  31. Hi Manic Chef,
    Very pleased to know this gave you a good chuckle, numbing or otherwise.
    Penny is ten years old, but she kinda' looks and most definitely acts, like a puppy. A very lively, friendly dog. Aren't you Penny? 'Arf, arf!'
    I consider Penny to be a very kind companion in my virtually reclusive world. Dogs are such loving, non-judgemental creatures.
    Take care, my friend.
    With respect and peaceful wishes, Gary :-)

  32. Hi Masked Friend,
    Oh, I do so know what you mean. You hear about the horror stories of luggage ended up on the opposite side of the world. I recall waiting for my luggage to come off the carousel at Vancouver Airport. I waited and waited and my luggage did not show up. I had all those panicky feelings about what was I going to do. Then I noted all the dumped luggage off to the side of the carousel. Under a mountain of baggage, there was my suitcase. Sigh of relief.
    Anyhow, I assume that eventually you and your luggage were reacquainted?
    Cheers, Gary :-)

  33. Hi John,
    Sorry to note that. At least you've made it to your computer and kindly left me a comment. Then again, it might not be your computer and you might be in the wrong place:-)
    Oh well, at least that guy got to experience the 'delights' of a long haul flight. Why stay cooped up on a plane for an hour, when you can stay cooped up for thirteen hours.
    Take care.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)

  34. Gary, thank you for making me smile. I've had a tough day (you know why) and I needed it! One can always rely on the blogosphere for a smile (or a cry!).
    Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

  35. Hi bazza,
    And thank you for letting me know that it made you smile. This means a great deal.
    My thoughts are with you and your loved ones.
    With much respect, Gary.

  36. The neatest things happen to you, Gary. You know that's because of good karma, eh? Yup, you got good Karma. Not sure what that means, but you sure got it. LOL. Thanks for the laugh.

  37. Hi Joylene,
    Ah yes, the joys of Karma. I reckon it must have been good Karma when an ambulance ploughed into my other car and customised the rear end. What better vehicle to crash into me. Is that Karma or irony.
    I remember the last time I flew over to Vancouver. And yes, when I say 'flew', I'm referring to an aeroplane. Well, anyway, we stopped over in Calgary. The pilot announced 'Welcome to Vancouver'. I jokingly mentioned to the flight attendant, 'Has the pilot been smoking something funny?' The flight attendant radioed through what I said, to the pilot. They let me stay on the plane, complete with my bright red face!
    Now I'm worried. When I 'fly' over in May, will I end up in Vancouver, or God help me, Toronto. LOL
    Cheers, Joylene.
    Take care eh, Gary :-)

  38. I have never ended up in an unwanted destination in a public transportation but get me behind the wheel and I could end up two states over. (this is happen more than one, OK more than twice).

    This little story reminds of the poor lady who fell in the fountain texting on her phone and security placed it on Youtube which in turn went viral. So she definitely had one of those days.

  39. Hi lifeshighway,
    Oh my. I figure you might have ended up in the wrong State because of all those confusing road signs.
    Over here, they have roundabouts. You can get stuck in one of them in the middle and end up taking the wrong puzzling exit and find yourself in Scotland :-)
    That lady you mention had one of those 'daze' and yet become an internet 'star'.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)

  40. OMGoodness, wouldn't that be a shock! Of course it might be a nice surprise if you had the time for a holiday. I wonder if he had to pay for the ticket to New Zealand or if he just paid for his ticket to Oakland???

  41. Hi Sharon,
    It sure would've been a shock. For all I know, the dude may have ended up staying in Auckland.
    I'm really not sure what happened. He may have gotten away with just the cost of a ticket to Oakland. Can just imagine him arriving in Oakland, two days later and explaining what had occurred:-)
    Take care, Sharon.
    In kindness, Gary

  42. bad hair days and really bad days only a sense of humuur make them bareable something which you and Penny seem to have an abundance of

  43. Hi kerrie,
    Where would we be without our sense of humour? Penny needs a sense of humour just putting up with me:-)
    You, my friend, have a wonderful sense of humour. I'm most grateful for your kind interaction.
    Hope you're having a peaceful and positive week.
    In kindness, G :-)

  44. "Help! I'm being held hostage in a Chinese fortune cookie factory."

    I've used that excuse before.

  45. Aha Static,
    And I wonder what excuse you will have next time :)


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.