Sunday, 5 September 2010

What's In Store For Me?

So off I went for yet another one of my supermarket adventures.  Hmmmm....I wonder what's in store for me?  I proceeded over to one of the 'free cash' machines, which turns out, just like all the other times, to not be free cash, at all.  No, darn it, it comes out of my account.  Anyhow, I entered my 'P.I.N' number, only  to find out that the machine was temporarily unavailable.  Why couldn't it say that on the screen and have saved me the effort of slapping in my card?
Now then, one of the supermarkets I frequent, has been undergoing a major renovation.  The 'reduced section' has been moved, but the evidence of its whereabouts are very evident.  I noted the poor guy with the scanner that marks down the prices.  Luckily for him, and for me, there were no 'old rage' pensioners in sight.  I told him that he deserved 'danger pay' and I would do my utmost to protect him from the impending angry mob.  He laughed and very carefully passed over some greatly reduced garlic chicken kievs.
Unscathed and very relieved, I moved on.  Then it happened.  'Thump!'  I realised that someone had shoved a shopping cart right up my butt.  Did this person apologise?  In fact, the culprit who was pushing her trolley up the middle of the aisle, just kept on gabbing away to the old dude she was with.  Usually, I would not make a fuss.  Today would be the exception.  'Ah..hello?  Excuse me, but I really don't appreciate you ramming your trolley up my ass!'  The couple looked at me in disgust and just kept on gabbing away.   The outrageous audacity of me.
Me, Mr. battered bum, headed for the final destination.  Yep, I headed for the delights of the checkout counter.  I always take into consideration that there might be folks waiting behind me when it comes to my turn.  If this be the case, I keep my conversation with the cashier to the minimum.  So why did the lady in front of me think it was perfectly okay to tell the cashier her life's story?  Oblivious to me, she talked on and on and on and on....  How fascinating to find out that she was going to the beauty salon and her grandson had a new cat.  Gosh!  The cashier smiled and nodded her head.  Cashiers might just be considered social workers and counsellors, all rolled into one, at a salary just above minimum wage.  What fun.
Finally, after several moments of almost dozing off, it was my turn to be served.  Each item scanned until she realised one of the items was a packet of headache pills.  'Sir, I need authorisation for these.'   'Oh trust me, my headache is genuine.' I replied.  She laughed and explained, that because she was under eighteen, her adult supervisor would have to scan the headache pills.  Then I place my debit card in the machine.  Just like all the other times, I was asked, 'Would you like cash back?'  Just like all the other times, I responded, 'That's very generous of this store. I think I might just shop here again.'  Once again, I also came to the realisation that any cash back comes out of my account.  Doh!
I headed towards the exit of the store and noticed one of those kiddie toys that seems to be a main feature at the entrance of most supermarkets.  It was a toy helicopter and it 'spoke' to me.  'Hi, what's your name?' inquired the toy helicopter.  'Hi, my name is Gary.' I responded.  A young couple heard me talking to the toy helicopter and gave me a very strange look.  Cannot imagine why.
So, my latest shopping adventure was drawing to a conclusion.  A very frail old lady was struggling away with  a shopping cart.  Each step a marathon.  I could sense her pride and determination.  I smiled, she smiled and the twinkle in her eye made me pause for a moment to reflect.   What's in store for me?  A bright and positive future.  The twinkle in her eye made me realise how much I have to be grateful for.


  1. Like most things in the outside world, supermarkets are great fun, aren’t they? I usually go to my local grocer, where the staff all know me, and immediately have my cigarettes ready as soon as they catch sight of me. I occasionally buy food too, but not as frequently.

    The enigmatic, masked blogger strikes again

  2. Wow, another fun-filled post on supermarket adventures, me likey! You're insanely funny, Gary. Free-cash machines? LOL! I hope your battered rear end has been getting some healing therapy. I can't imagine why any sane person would ram a freaking trolley into another person's behind and not say sorry. They are not humans, I tell you. Hehe. And yes I did get your witty comment up on my blog, I really appreciated it, Gare. =D

    Wishing you more positive and happy days and nights to come, and here's a soothing balm potion for the battered bum.


  3. You definitely have all the fun, Gary. Your adventures are priceless. Wish I'd been there to kick that ramming couple for you. I can be pretty dangerous when pushing a cart full of cat food. LOL.

  4. Terrific post, Gary. Sympathise completely with the trolley rage incident - some people are so careless. I've been known to shout 'if you'd said excuse me I would have moved' - they always look shocked.


  5. hi mr gary! that was a fun story. i remember the bus one that got me laughing. it like when you go shopping you always get an adventure. ha ha. me and my brother were at walmart getting me my medicine yesterday and when we were waiting i went to look at some cool sunglasses that i want for my birthday. a old grey hair grouchy looking lady pushed her cart into me and pushed me out of the way and started looking at the sunglasses. i didnt know what to do but i want to say something real bad but i just waited til she got done. it like more older people think they got a right to push a cart up your butt. ha ha.
    oh i gotta tell you after that lady went away i got some really neat hot wheels sun glasses. they say hot wheels on the front and on both sides thy got neat cars and really bright flames. how cool is that! :)
    ...laughs and smiles from lenny

  6. When you're down you're down but when you're up you're up!
    It's nice to pick up on the joie de vivre in this post.

  7. As I am well known as a person whose cup runneth over with compassion I will resist saying something banal like "A visit to Tesco's; riveting."
    Instead Sir Tom offers his pleasure at your obvious enjoyment of this routine encounter with the world and if my friend is pleased then so am I!
    Keep your spirits up, say I.

  8. Dear Gary,
    Ah, the trip to the supermarket, as always for you, filled with risk and trepidation. I can, however, relate to your to your dislike of the lack of politeness and general greed and selfishness of the rest of humanity, while we, of course, remain spotless where such things are concerned. Like the wee folk, a shining beacon of hope!
    Yours with a slight hint of irony,
    P.S. Feel free to get in touch whenever you feel like.

  9. Oh dear Gary, yes, it can be hit an miss with these shops can't it? A few years ago I was knocked over by a very tall lady who appeared not to even notice me in a supermarket. I am short, yes, but it was horrible and I felt invisible. However, only the other day when I was rescuing two little gnomes from a supermarket, in order to live in my garden, the customer behind me started talking about snow white and all her little 'wee folk' It was a magical experience.

  10. Hello TBFKA,
    Supermarkets can be great fun. I am a virtual recluse but I have a great rapport with folks that work in stores. I find that addressing them by their name is very much appreciated. Unless, they are wearing the wrong name tag and that could be a touch confusing and amusing.
    I guess it wouldn't be a good idea to go in the store dressed as 'the masked blogger':-)
    Have a peaceful and positive day.
    In kindness and respect, Gary.

  11. Hi Shanaz,
    Yes indeedy doo, 'free cash' machines and, 'would you like cash back?', when you place your debit card into that magic machine at the checkout counter.
    I went home and filled my tub with ice cubes and stuck my bruised and battered butt into the bath. Okay, I made that up:-)
    Folks can be so oblivious in stores. Then again, maybe she just could not resist taking her trolley and aiming for this dude's derriere. Perhaps she was having a bet with her partner as to how many bums she could bruise in one shopping expedition.
    Thanks Shanaz. I'm glad my comment made it onto your lovely blog. Peace and positivity, your way, Gary :-)

  12. Hi Joylene,
    I really believe there should be laws against having as much as fun as I do.
    I can just visualise you sorting out that lady with 'cart rage'. Imagine her surprise when you state, 'You watch where you're goin' eh!'
    Yikes! You just had to make a reference to cats. Yes, I know, cats with their evil plan to rule the world. 'Feed me, you useless human!', states kitty cat:-)
    Thank you, Joylene.
    Kind wishes and some British cat food, your way, Gary.

  13. Hi Suzanne,
    Someone actually saying 'excuse me'. Now that is a rarity. The number of times someone has walked in front of me, whilst in a shop and not bothered to utter such a statement. It aggravates me.
    Oh, by the way, Morrisons carrier bags are quite sturdy and I reuse them:-)
    Have a lovely week, Suzanne.
    Kind wishes, Gary x

  14. Hey Lenny,
    I sure do have some 'fun' adventures:-) Despite some rather rude folks out there, I have plenty of really nice talks with some very nice people. So I guess my truly fun times make up for those who do not think about others.
    I'm so pleased that you stayed calm when that old lady bumped into you. The great news is that you got some super duper sunglasses! That is so neat:-) I bet you look like a movie star.
    Have a great week, Lenny.
    Big smiles, your way, 'Mr. Gary'

  15. Hi bazza,
    I do try to give a balanced account of my little adventures. For sure, I have a joy of life and that more than makes up for those who give little consideration for others.
    Take care, bazza.
    Kind wishes, Gary.

  16. Ah, Sir Tom Eagerly,
    I couldn't even imagine you darkening the doors of Tesco. I would have thought that your servants would be bringing in all your supplies.
    I am thrilled, beyond any adequate words, that you, good Sir Tom, would enjoy the fact that I enjoy my fascinating, but not so mundane safaris to the spectacular delights of the supermarket.
    'Mmmoooorrreee rrreasssooons to shop Mmmmmorrisons....' If it's okay for Richard Hammond to go wandering them thar dales with his Morrisons shopping trolley, perhaps I should give it a go and forgo my quid in the trolley....
    Thank you, Sir Tom. Yours in banality, Gary...

  17. Dear David,
    I've no doubt, that you, my fine friend, have only the most impeccable of manners. Like me, you no doubt exude the very finest of manners when you find yourself amongst the heaving and angry mob of humanity that does not give one iota about their fellow man.
    So that's you, me, and the 'wee folks, who are shining examples of how one should behave.
    I've been rather busy lately with some rather urgent family matters. Hope to talk to you soon.
    With respect and good wishes, Gary.

  18. Hi Diane,
    I'm sorry to hear about your incident with that tall lady in the shop.
    However, you also point out the wonderful experiences that can happen in the supermarket. What a great story about the two garden gnomes you took home and that lady who had a mutual interest in 'wee folks'.
    I believe if the 'wee folks' in my garden, ever went shopping, they would show the bigger folks how to behave themselves:-)
    Thanks, Diane. Have a lovely and magical week. Kind wishes, Gary

  19. Wonderful post, Gary. I love that you appreciate the little things in life, like the old woman with a twinkle in her eye and struggling at the supermarket. You have a good heart, indeed.

  20. Hi Gary, My eyes are still twinkling following that post. Enjoy the week and hope the Chicken Kiev was fabulous!

  21. Hi askcherlock,
    Thank you for your kind words. I do try to observe and appreciate those magical moments such as the 'twinkle' in the eyes of that dear old lady.
    I do attempt to give a bit of balance in my postings.
    Thanks and may you have a peaceful week.
    Kind wishes, Gary.

  22. Hi THE SNEE,
    I've no doubt you have twinkly smiling eyes:-)
    The chicken kievs have been frozen. No doubt, my son will eat them. (no, not frozen). Guess that leaves me with bread and water..
    Hope you have a peaceful and happy week.
    With respect, Gary.


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.