Thursday, 10 February 2011

Blog Air.


In theme with my previous posting in regards to specialised airlines, I present to you an airline that exclusively caters to bloggers.  Introducing, 'Blog Air'.

A while back I did a posting titled, Big Blogger , which discussed the concept of bloggers with a diversity of talents, all vying to be the ultimate winner in a 'reality' television show.  This is a concept that really should be put forward to a television network.  So just how would we get the bloggers to such a show?  Of course, we could fly them on Blog Air.

Ah, I can just visualise the scene.  One by one, the bloggers board Blog Air.  'Um, hello flight attendant, there must be a mistake with my seat location!  I have over a thousand 'followers' and I should be in first class and not stuck in economy with all those insignificant bloggers!'  The blogger waiting to board behind the 'popular' blogger, states, 'Oh yeah and just how many of those followers actually read your stuff?  I would rather a small amount of followers that I interacted with, rather than your misleading total.  In fact, I have fifty followers and I certainly don't think that makes you twenty times better than me!'  And thus the festivities of the bloggers on Blog Air, begins in earnest.

I'm on Blog Air and yes, I'm in the economy section.  I listen to the chatter of the bloggers in the seats nearby and up in the first class section.  'You know, my blog is a very important place.  A meeting place where other lesser bloggers can come and note just how wonderful I am!'  And thus, I realised I was listening to the self-obsessed blogger.  'You must read my latest posting that ties in nicely with my other posting about the upcoming posting that tells you about my posting that I posted last month about how great my postings are!'  Hmmm, so that would be the self-promoting blogger.  And then I overhear the 'comedy' blogger who likes to repeat the same jokes over and over and over and....  'Hey, hey, I'm more off-the-wall than Humpty Dumpty!  Fred Flintstone meet Homer Simpson, 'Yabba dabba....Doh!'   'Oh yeah, like you are sooo funny', I think to myself.

So I sit there, quietly listening to the various bloggers, in all their diversity.  I hear the crude one telling how 'fucking awesome they are!'  I listen to the serious ones, the shy ones, the poetic ones, the cynical ones and the ones who do variety.  I hear one blogger describe a situation that could take but a few sentences, yet drags it out for what seems an eternity.  And I realise this is the blogger who writes blogs that are just too damn long.  Which makes me realise, if I don't stop soon, this posting will be skimmed through, or ignored, or a couple of key words picked up on, in order to make a comment.

Yes, I sit here on Blog Air in economy class and I stare out the window.  Thoughts drift into my mind, that we, within the great blogging community, are all different, all equal.  Let us embrace the diversity and truly be here for each other.  I then see this one blogger swaggering down the aisle with a toilet plunger on their head.  'Hey, look at me!  I'm a unicorn!'  So, that would be the surreal blogger.

50 comments:

  1. Uh-oh, we are all too well aware of these blogger types. It's just a question of how we see ourselves, or actually how we'd *like* to see ourselves...

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  2. Hi Chris,
    Aha, excellent. Well, I'd like to think that folks see me as I hope they would. Shy and humble, or something like that:-)
    Have a good week.
    With respect, Gary.

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  3. Dear Gary,
    I suppose I'd fit into the "too long blog" blogger type.
    Took a look on the "stats" tool you mentioned the other day and found out that most of the hits on my blog do not come from the U.S. or UK, but Poland. Maybe I should consider learning Polish and then I could be the English "Polish blogger".
    Anyway, Gary, I think it's great how you have reduced us all to a few hackneyed stereotypes. (I joke, obviously- your disection of the blogging community is witty and incisive!)
    Better go now before I offend you (is that possible?).
    Very Best Wishes, your way,
    David.
    P.S. You are still welcome to visit on Sunday, and all being well I should see you then.

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  4. Hah, I like the barbed blog criticism in that aviation parable. Ready yourself for a few defensive comments!

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  5. haha i loved this! i love reading long posts. the surreal blogger part was funny. :D

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  6. Gary, you definitely would not be in economy; it's first-class only for you. If fact you would be Stelios and voted 'World's Favourite Airline'.
    Only certain bloggers should have access to parachutes.
    Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

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  7. What a splendid idea! A gathering of bloggers - not far-fetched at all Gary. Fly to an exotic destination - on our own plane too.

    It doesn't matter where I fit in, but it would be nice if I can have that seat next to you. You can have the window seat - it'll have to be the aisle for me, this bladder isn't as strong anymore...

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  8. I'm more interested in comments from a few good friends than having a blog viewed by thousands.

    Which is just as well, really...

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  9. Gary, you have really outdone yourself on this one! This is, as the Brits would say, "BRILLIANT"! I love this, I want to save it, you are one funny dude! And I picked up immediately on you pointing the finger at me:"too damn long", YES guilty as charged, help me Gary....please help me....be a friend, I'll polish your shoes for you on the "Blog Air" airline, I'll even fluff your pillow...and I don't take up much room, I'll just sit at the foot of your 'huge' feet.....but I DON'T do pedicure's, that's extra....just throw me an occasional biscuit...with unsalted butter and marmalade, toasted, and then to wash it down, I'll have a large Cafe Machiatto, see I don't ask for much! LOL, you have contributed in lightening my day! Oy, could I talk more, but this is a good place to begin not to have a "too damn long" comment! Later...

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  10. Clever post. Reminds me of the bloggers over at Fridge Soup, who once blogged back and forth about meeting up sometime, somewhere. Once of them said, but yes, you know what we'd all do--we'd all stay in our hotel rooms on our computers! (Also enjoyed, for what may be obvious reasons, that you included as a category "the ones that do variety.")

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  11. Hahahaha I found this very funny...

    I think I might be a long poster...

    Or the cynic... Although I think I hide that fact rather well...

    Hmm...

    Anyway... I'm just me, which is scary in itself.

    :-P

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  12. Hi David,
    Yes, as we've discussed, your blogs can be rather long. As you know, it's a fast-paced world out there in blogland and reading time factors should, I believe be taken into account. Having stated that, despite yours being, what I consider lengthy, you have an insightful and informative blog.
    Ah, so you have noted a lot of hits from Poland. I've had few of those that lead to umm certain sites. You might consider learning Polish, but they can have your blog converted to the English language.
    I know you know where I'm coming from in this almost bordering on cynical posting:) And me stereotype y'all? Can't imagine me doing that! And you, my good buddy, could never possibly offend me. I appreciate your banter, as per usual.
    I'm much better now, thanks. Thus, brace yourself for a Sunday visit.
    With respect and kind wishes, Gary
    P.S. Note my overly long comment....

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  13. Greetings Gorilla Bananas,
    Why thank you, kind ape.
    I'm ready for any defensive comments. That's the beauty of the diversity within the blogging community.

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  14. Hi Furree Katt,
    Thank you:-)
    Glad you like reading long posts. I wonder if that would include ones that goes on and on and on and on and you have to keep scrolling and scrolling and just when you think it's about to end, it goes on and on and on...:-)
    Must go now and grab the toilet plunger. Wonder if I can fool the garden gnomes.
    Take care, Gary :-)

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  15. LOLLOL hahaha. Hee hee. This is me laughing. I know... it's a painful sound. It's 'cuz I'm a baritone and my voice sounds like a cross between a fog horn and a tractor out of gear. LOL.

    I'm the duh-blogger, the one who shakes her head, then falls over becuz all the fluid went from the right side of my brain over to the left, leaving me confused and unbalanced.

    I love blogland. I also confess that it must be nice to be world renown. Like Bieber fever. Can't even imagine what that must be like. Hope his parents keep close reins on him. He is only 16, after all!

    I digest. I mean digress. LOL.

    Happy blog air travel, Gary.

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  16. Hi bazza,
    Awe, I wanna' be in the economy section with all the other 'lesser' bloggers:-)
    However I like the idea of being Sir Stelios and 'Blog Air,' as opposed to 'Cheesy Jet', or a certain British airline company, being voted the 'World's Favourite Airline'.
    I could think of few bloggers who shouldn't have access to parachutes....
    Oh, I shall try and sneak up from economy class and see how you are doing in first class, bazza:-)
    Take care and hope all is going well.
    In kindness, Gary

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  17. Hi Grandpa,
    Why thank you for thinking it's a splendid idea. Plans for 'Blog Air' are still, well 'up in the air'. However, when it happens we could all fly to wonderful places all over the world and spread the diversity of our writing.
    It would be a privilege to have you sit next to me. I'll just make sure our seats are near the toilets:-)

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  18. Hi fairyhedgehog,
    Exactly. And thank you for picking up on one of my serious points. I share your ethos.
    I hope you have a lovely weekend.
    In kindness, Gary :-)

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  19. Hi The Manic Chef,
    Thanks dude. Or as the Brits might say, 'jolly good show'. Or as a Canadian might say, 'pretty good eh!'
    Actually, my good buddy, on a serious note, blogs can indeed be, as far as I'm concerned, "too damn long". I try to read and comment on a lot of blogs and yes, overly long blogs can end up being skimmed through or even given a miss. I know there are bloggers who will know exactly what I mean by this.
    I do know, however, that someone gets into the writing flow and just can't control themselves. So they type and they type and then they type, some more...So, I guess it's a question of balance. Then again, if the first sentence in a very, very, very long posting captivates and compels me to want to continue reading, because it's so darn interesting, even though it is very, very, very long...then maybe, just maybe, a long posting, in that case, is okay. Manic Chef, you might consider writing a more condensed version that still captures the key ambience of what you are trying to get across. Then again, what the heck do I know eh
    :-)
    You don't have to cater to me, shy and humble me, on 'Blog Air'. All I ask is that you exquisitely prepare me one of your award winning meals.
    The main thing here is that you have demonstrated such wonderful, positive interaction within your zany, yet thoughtful comment.
    I truly appreciate that. And now, I believe my comment in response to your 'too damn long' comment, is, well, too damn long and thus I shall abruptly stop :-)
    May you have a peaceful weekend.
    With respect and a large Cafe Machiatto, your way, Gary

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  20. Hi Raining Acorns,
    Thank you. The bloggers over at 'Fridge Soup' are most likely correct. I mean why go out and enjoy the sites, have a meal and a good chat, when you can sit there and stare at a computer in a hotel room :-)
    I like to think we both have a lot of fun doing variety. Keep 'em guessing and don't stick to one genre.
    I hope you have a happy weekend.
    With respect, Gary.

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  21. Hi Misha,
    I'm so pleased you liked my attempt at humour in this posting.
    Yes, you can do rather long postings. Still, I'm sure it has something to do with your writing flow at that particular time. Sometimes bloggers, I think, put in too much for my last two brains cells to comprehend it all.
    And cynical, well I don't know about you, but there certainly were some cynical undertones within my posting. Yikes :-)
    You might be "scary", but what the heck, it's a nice scary.
    Thanks Misha and I hope you have continued happy writing.
    In kindness, Gary.

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  22. 'Ah, I can just visualise the scene. One by one, the bloggers board Blog Air. 'Um, hello flight attendant, there must be a mistake with my seat location! I have over a thousand 'followers' and I should be in first class and not stuck in economy with all those insignificant bloggers!'

    You summed it up perfectly, Gary! Brilliant. Bloody brilliant!

    May there be a 'Blog Air' someday :)

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  23. Hi Joylene,
    Gee thanks. What with the descriptive wording of your laugh, I'm now imagining your delightful laugh, in my mixed up mind :-)
    You're the "duh-blogger"? Like duh, I don't think so. I reckon that your comment puts you in the 'surreal' blogger category:-)
    Well I just lurve blogland. And you know what Joylene? Blogland just lurves you. Never mind 'Justin Beaver' or whatever the hell his name is, you are a world famous author, okay, you are famous for sure, in Canada. Okay, you are famous in a two mile radius of a small town, near a lake, in beautiful British Columbia:-) Seriously you are very famous and you know what Joylene? You are my hero and I am well and truly star struck:-)
    Have a great weekend eh and happy writing n'stuff eh
    Kind wishes and first class tickets on 'Blog Air, your way, Gary :-)

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  24. As long as I get a window seat, my little packet of peanuts and complementary hot towel, I'm one happy blogger passenger!!! Take care
    x

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  25. Hi Wendy,
    Thanks for that:-) I'm pleased and yes relieved, that you and the previous folks who left a comment, have shown such good-natured banter. Whoops, I guess I await the 'wrath' of one of those 'first class' section bloggers :-)
    May we soon be flying the skies aboard the good plane, 'Blog Air'.
    I'll be the blogger in the luggage hold, or sitting in the cheap seats aka the wing!
    Take good care, Wendy.
    In kindness, Gary :-)

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  26. Hi Old Kitty,
    Of course you can have a window seat, a little packet of peanuts and a complementary towel :-)
    In fact, you can have an extra sick bag, in case I'm in a nearby seat. Might be in one of my nauseatingly twee moods! :-)
    Have a lovely day and Penny says hello to Charlie :-)
    Kind wishes, Gary

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  27. Excellent post, Gary! You've made some very astute points. I think I'm one of those "in the lavatory" bloggers (not in the economy section because I don't have one percent of the "followers" that most bloggers have). But that works for me, because I do some of my best thinking in the loo. And I also look at my blog as more of a journal - a place where I go to vent - so I'm cool with the whole world not being there to hear. Plus, I tend to be one of the "wordier" and verbose and diarrhea of the mouth type bloggers, so I don't really expect that everyone has that kind of patience to read my often long-winded rants! I also like to make long-winded comments on other people's posts...tee hee hee!

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  28. Hi The Reckmonster,
    Ah Michelle, first of all I want to thank you for typing in English. You know what I'm sayin'? lol
    Well thank you kindly for thinking I've made some astute points. So you reckon you are one of the "in the lavatory" bloggers? Did you know that a term for lavatory in Britain is 'bog'? Thus you would be writing 'bog blogs'. Bet that snippet of info fascinated you:-)
    I completely understand about your blog being a kind of journal, a diary, a positive and therapeutic resource. I, for one, like the way you verbalise your thoughts over at your site. And yes, despite my making reference to the 'urban dictionary', I get the gist of your thoughtful and yes, quite often zany postings.
    You do your long rants for all the right reasons. If it gets it out of your system, and no, I'm not making reference to the loo, then that has got to be a most positive result. And hey, hey, hey, I don't mind your long-winded comments and in the spirit of long-winded comments, I have now made a long-winded-comment in response to your long-winded comment. Hang on..*takes breath*....
    Thanks Michelle. 'Reck', you rock!

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  29. Hi Gary.
    Brilliant roastings of the postings of the various hostings of blogs.
    Too funny, thanks for the laugh!
    In peace, Dixie

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  30. Hi Dixie,
    Hey thanks and I just love your rhyming :-)
    I'm really pleased this made you laugh.
    So, I won't be boasting about my roasting within this posting :-)
    You take very good care and stay warm.
    In kindness, Gary.

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  31. Hi Gary!
    It's so nice to visit here.
    Your post is fabulously written and I thoroughly enjoyed all the comments too. I smiled through several of them ~ especially Grandpa's ~
    I see Dixie visits here too!
    Seems like I'll be stopping by again soon!
    *Maria

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  32. hahah another fun yet no-nonsense post. made me laugh yet made me think. if i were to board on Blog Air, i'd definitely be on Economy and i wouldn't mind.

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  33. Excellent as always!
    It reminds of a quote I once heard:

    "Sometimes we try so hard to be different, but that makes us all the very same".

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  34. I'm sitting way back on the corner.. maybe just 3 or 4 sits before the rest room. I'm on the window side of the plane..and if I'm not looking outside to watch that fascinating clouds down me.. well I'm snoring my way to sleep...

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  35. LOL! I love it! Great post(Surreal Blogger would make a great Blog name). Yes it does sound like another great idea for a talent show, though only the self obsessed blogger would sign up.

    Oops I can be a self promoting blogger at times (blushes)
    I agree long blogs are harder to read especially when it's white writing on a black background (my eyes go ballastic!) I try to break my posts up into images so that they can be processed in chunks and look more appealing. I love the design aspect of it all. I'm a Design Blogger, yeah!
    BTW come join me in Club Class for a coffee anytime (Sorry that's me being Delusions of Grandeur Blogger) Oops getting carried away now ;O)

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  36. Hi Maria from Calm Energy,
    And it's so very kind of you to visit. Thank you :-)
    I think a big part of my blog is the wonderful interaction that I am so honoured with. I get some great feedback and do endeavour to acknowledge each and every person. And Grandpa, he's quite the character and does a superb and thoughtful blog.
    And I've noted your lovely blog, thanks to our dear friend Dixie. So, it's high time I dropped over to your site and said 'hello'.
    Thank you for such a nice comment.
    Here's wishing you a peaceful weekend.
    In kindness, Gary :-)

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  37. Hi Maria, from 'There is something about Maria'.
    I'm so pleased you picked up the various angles I tried to convey in this posting. Tongue-in-cheek, with a bit of cynicism.
    Economy section seems like a great idea on 'Blog Air'. Of course, I'll be down in the cargo hold with the various cats, dogs, rabbits and other forms of wildlife that some bloggers use in their postings. Of course, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star will be flying the plane! 'Arf, arf!' :-)
    Have a great weekend, Maria.
    In kindness, Gary :-)

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  38. I don’t think Blog Air would even consider downgrading you to economy, Gary.

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  39. Hi Nas,
    Why thank you, kind sir.
    And thank you for that interesting quote. I don't agree with it, but I understand the gist of it :)
    Hope you have a most pleasant weekend and keep going with that inspirational blog of yours.
    Kind wishes, Gary :-)

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  40. Hi Kamila,
    Aha, so you would be the, 'looking out the window, watching the clouds and snoring yourself to sleep' blogger on 'Blog Air' :-)
    Take care Kamila and have a great weekend.
    Kind wishes, Gary:-)

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  41. Hi Madeleine,
    Oh, I do so love a bit of surreal. I remember someone dropping by the other day. You should see the damage to my roof :-)
    The talent show for all those wonderful, diverse bloggers, would be a great concept TV show. I like to think that even lesser bloggers such as my very shy self, would try to be on that show. Wonder what the prize for the winner would be. Probably a weekend listening to a self-obsessed blogger go on and on and on, about their favourite subject. Hmmm :)
    Promote away, I say. Of course, I would never dream of promoting my blog KLAHANIE, oh no, of course I wouldn't :-)
    Yes, the writing colour should be taken into account. A very good point. And overly long blogs could well use a break in them, maybe a musical interlude, or yes some photos. I hear you on the aesthetic quality of a blog design. It's about time I changed my basic template because that candle is bound to go out. Another thing is some sites have so many applications on them that they can take ages to load up. Or maybe it's just my computer.
    Madeleine, thanks for the kind offer of joining you in Club Class for a coffee. However, I reckon your security would not allow a mere economy class blogger, to get into such a luxurious part of 'Blog Air' :-)
    Kind wishes and happy designing, your way, Gary :-)

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  42. Aha, Masked Friend. Nice try, but I barely even managed to get on 'Blog Air' and end up in my rightful place in the economy section.
    All your adoring fans were blocking the plane's entrance, begging for your autograph. Of course, sadly, it was too late for them. For you, my illustrious friend, were already in the First Class section and being waiting on, hand on foot.
    Have a great weekend and please continue with your excellent and yes, therapeutic writing.
    In kindness, Gary :-)

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  43. thank you G your is a breath of fresh air made me smile esp the surreal blogger
    k

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  44. Hello, this is my first time here. I might be a duh-huh blogger. My postings are so simple.

    You, otoh, have exceptional sarcasmic (is that a word?) skills and outragious wit.

    OK, I'll be back again.

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  45. It seems you named about every type of blogger out there, dude. I think if I were on Blog Air, and perhaps I am, I think I'd have to kick the self-obsessed blogger who needs followers and worshipers to feel complete out of the plane's emergency exit or the one relentlessly writes in only one genre just because or she would be boring me to death and grating on my last nerve.

    Since I don't wish to leave a long comment that would require only A FEW paragraphs (lol), I will conclude by saying I could tolerate and enjoy the flight with the other "passengers". Especially if there was some adult entertainment.

    Take care. Just thought I'd 'skim' through and take a look through your blog window. I see you. Whoa... I almost fell off the plane wing.

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  46. OMG Gary; I almost fell off my chair reading this one!! How true it is. Well I will sit with you in economy any time my Dear quite satisfied to be there. I have alluded to this as well and I still believe that although it thrills the heck out of me that people read my blogs, really I am writing for myself. To you and more like this.

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  47. Hi kerrie,
    Hang on a second please. Ah, that's better. Bloody toilet plunger fell off my head :-)
    Hope you have a most peaceful and positive week, K.
    In kindness and respect, Gary :-)

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  48. Hi Allie,
    Thank you for dropping by and I very much appreciate that.
    Your blog is clever, thoughtful, witty and that makes you a variety blogger on 'Blog Air' :-)
    'Sarcasmic' is now a word and will be officially recognised in the dictionary.
    Shall be heading over to your site, again. Me thinks we have a mutual friend :)
    Have a lovely week and take care.
    Gary.

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  49. Hey Kelly,
    I'm sure we could think up a few more blogging categories. How about the 'non-blogger blogger'? That's the one that leaves a comment that has nothing to do with your posting but has everything to do with link that sends you to their site which sells the latest kinky rubber accessories. Which reminds me, I'm still waiting for my order to come through :-)
    Anyway dude, you have, once again, summarised some important aspects of my posting, in only the deeply profound way that you can. I could see a few folks flying out the emergency exit.
    Very nice of you not to leave a long comment and fill the space up with random nonsense that has absolutely nothing to do with the posting.
    And yes, evidently on 'Blog Air', there will be some 'adult entertainment. I've heard a rumour that some 'Playblog Bloggies' will be on board to delight and amaze you. Gosh and wow!
    Thanks for 'skimming' through. I shall roll down the window and let you in. Shall redirect you down to the cargo hold where there are a fine collection of wild and exotic animals. You'd like that! :-)
    Thanks Kelly.
    Happy flying, Gary :-)

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  50. Hi Heather,
    Hope you are now sitting comfortably :-)
    I'd be honoured if you would sit with me in the economy section on 'Blog Air'.
    And you have brought something up that of course, is underlying within the posting. The bottom line is that you and I write firstly for ourselves, for cathartic therapy. Indeed, it's not the number of 'followers' we have but the positive interaction we all can share.
    Take very good care and continued happy writing.
    In peace and kind wishes, Gary.

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I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.