Monday, 27 December 2010

Twas The Day After Christmas.

Twas the day after Christmas, when all through the house.  Not a creature was stirring, not even Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.
Okay, I spent Christmas Day, mostly alone.  The son made a cameo appearance, just long enough to grab some Christmas dinner and proceed to his bedroom, with his collection of 'suspicious' looking friends and Penny the delightful dog.
I have discovered some advantages to spending 'Boxing Day Eve', sorry, Christmas, on my own.  For, I can sit there, let rip the most putrid smelling turkey farts and not go bright red, while protesting, 'Hey 'Uncle Bob', weren't me!  I didn't fart!  That darned dog has been at the turkey.  Smelly dog, that's disgusting!'  And, I don't have to be super nice to that obnoxious git sitting across from me at the table.  The opinionated know-it-all who has done what I've done, only twice as good.  That would be same butt wipe who smirks at everything I state, shakes their head in disgust and talks down to me in a patronising, dismissive manner.  Luckily, I do not encounter this, because if I did, I would be tempted to stick the remainder of the turkey down their big fat gob.
You may have experienced the joys of the yearly Christmas friends and family gathering.  You may watched 'Uncle Bob' and 'Auntie Sue' have their traditional Christmas Day argument.  There 'discussion' becomes so heated and personal that you wonder if it's actually Christmas Day.  Suddenly, you think, this feels more like 'Boxing Day', in a more pugilistic sense.   Then you look over at Grannie.  Good old Grannie, like she always does, proceeds to complain about 'those kids these days'.  'You know what dear? (you hate it when she calls you dear).  'You know what dear?  Those kids these days.  No manners and all they care about is getting gifts and the gifts are never good enough!'  Grannie then reaches over in front of your face, grabs the last slice of white turkey meat and moans about the gift from her son-in-law.  Of course, Granddad has hidden under the table.
So what have I learnt about Christmas?  I've learnt that I have much to be thankful for.  I realized, even more profoundly, that I have friends out there in the kind and caring family of bloggers.  That fills my heart with renewed determination and inspiration for a more positive world for all of us.  I've discovered that 'Jacob Marley' was not a reggae singer.  However, he did do a most notable cover version of the Diana Ross song, 'Chain Reaction'.   I figured out that 'Ebenezer Scrooge' and 'The Grinch' were okay dudes who were just a bit misunderstood.  
Christmas has come and gone.  I am determined to remember that, 'Humanity is for life, not just for Christmas.'


  1. Oh my...sorry for that gloomy Christmas.... what I did for Christmas is to try to forgive my dad....

    I did try... but the wound won't heal that fast...

    But i was happy.... because I'm already working out the recovery...

    You are so positive Gary... no one can really make us happy till we appreciate every blessings in our lives... sometimes we still need to smile at the worst time... bow to you Garry! x)

  2. Well, Gary, you've reminded me how thankful I am for the family Christmases I enjoyed as a child. Loads of aunts and uncles, and cousins too, but it all used to be a jolly affair for us kids. You are very good at reminding us all to look on the positive side of things.

  3. Dear Gary,
    My Christmas day, like your own, went surprisingly well. Unlike you, I did spend it with the dreaded family (brother, in-laws, cousins, etc.) but managed to have a good time all the same.
    So, very glad that you were happy this Christmas and that you remained positive throughout.
    With All the Best for the New Year,

  4. Hello Gary, I guess I am one of the lucky ones - with my tiny family we enjoyed the magic of Christmas by just being together, yet still after 20 years of illness my sister was not with us. It's a terrible time to feel isolated but your wonderful positive attitude will carry you through into a new year with new hopes and wishes - hope some of them come true for you.
    Magical wishes for 2011 - Di xx

  5. Hi Gary: As usual, you have expressed yourself beautifully. (What, no pictures?)
    I think we all need to come to terms with our situations really. We managed to have a great Christmas in the end at home with little Sonny boy!

  6. The joys of christmas gatherings past! LOL!

    Oh but to be able to fart your way through dinner and not worry about the social niceties and not have to bother to blame the cat or the dog or granny! Now that's what I call enjoying oneself!

    I'm glad your boy at least made an appearance. One day at a time - it's all you can do.

    Hugs to adorable Penny! Take care

  7. I learned early not to expect too much from Christmas. I forgot that a few times only to have the reminder stab me in the heart. This year it was quiet and non-eventful. But best of all, nothing bad happened. That is a blessing. I would rather be lonely and sad at Christmas than insane with grief.

    Thank you for all your wonderful words, Gary. You've filled my cyberspace with immeasurable delights. I look forward to a long blogging friendship.

  8. I agree with Jolene...I try not to have big expectations when it comes to family and holidays. My mum didn't bother to call me on my birthday or on Christmas. But I'm used to it. This year I didn't let it bother me. I think it was my blog friends that helped me get past her rejection...My immediate family (hubby and kiddo) were wonderful we hung out in our pjs all day. Eating, napping and wathcing the telly...

    (((hugs to Gary)))

  9. Gary.. if it makes you feel so not alone, I was in a crowd of people yet felt a million miles away. My Mother is dying and unless there is a miracle, this is her last holidays with us. I will not ramble, just say she instilled in me the love of the holidays and to see here fading, well...

    Yes, we must remember that humanity is not something we pull out of a pretty box one day a year.. It is that second layer of skin we were 365 days a year.. Your son was distant and rude? I will pray for him.. I will Gary...

  10. Hi Gary
    Well said, my friend. It seems we had to move far away in order to get people to pay attention to us. Oyr phone never stopped ringing. It was delightful if not a little sad. Anyway, I agree that Christmas is for always, not just once a year.

  11. Hi Gary,

    Did you find that special plastic bird you were scouting for? I liked this posting. It reminds us all about expectations that surround these holidays, the possibility of feeling lonely, and the realization that even a quiet or lonely moment may be experienced in the moment with some pleasure. Many warm greetings to you Gary. We're now on to the next holiday benchmark...Yikes! New Years! Does Leek have fireworks for this festive event? Here's to you , Penny , your son, your blog and much fun to come in 2011!

  12. This is very thought provoking. Thanks.

    Happy holiday to you, from Boonie

  13. Oh dear, sorry to hear that. We actually had a similarly odd Xmas and made our own cameo appearance with relatives, though I would have liked to have spent longer with them. I'm glad you had the enjoyment of your turkey farts to fall back on, though :O)

  14. Dear Gary,

    Welcome to the club, I was basically alone even though I did have the superintendent here for dinner as a thank you for all the work he does here...but, he arrived extremely intoxicated....oy did I suffer or what?!!!!! Found out my father is in the hospital since Thursday, my brother was depressed, and my mother well.. she was my complaining mother, all of it was depressing, but my Christmas eve was far better, for my 'manic mode' kicked in after six days of major depression, and I had a great time by myself! That's life, now life can get back to normal, whatever that is?!!!!!!!
    Great writing as usual, keep it up, and greetings to little Penny. All the best, Later!

  15. I joined my family for about an hour before I finally gave up. Decided Christmas would be a lot merrier alone. And it was.

  16. Dear Kamila,
    My Christmas was okay. A quiet and gentle time.
    I am pleased that you have verbalised your feelings, here. I think that's all part of the ongoing healing process. So, keep going and maintain that positive focus.
    I am a very positive and upbeat guy. I know how well I've done to challenge negative influences and remain determined that the future will be a better place, hopefully, for all of us.
    Peaceful and positive wishes, your way, Gary x

  17. Hi Ian,
    I am so glad that this reminded you of those wonderful childhood Christmases. It warms my heart that my posts can bring back such lovely memories.
    I do know that positivity has been vital in my keeping a healthy balance in life. Thanks Ian.
    Kind wishes, Gary.

  18. Dear David,
    Pleasing to know that your Christmas Day went so well. The 'dreaded' family scenario was a good time for you. Now, that's a most positive result.
    I shall continue to be that cheerful positive dude that you know. Yes, I had a Christmas, basically on my own, yet, I know, I wasn't really alone, thanks to you and the very kind online community.
    All the best for 2011, David.
    With respect and positive wishes, your way, Gary.

  19. Dear Diane,
    It heartens me to read that you felt the magic of Christmas with your family. I'm so sorry that your sister could not be there.
    I'm fairly okay with my isolation. I've gotten used to it, well, almost. It's quite the extreme from my earlier life.
    My positive attitude, my gratitude for all I have, keeps me strong and resilient. I am very grateful to you and your warm encouragement.
    Thanks Diane.
    A magical New Year for you and your loved ones.
    In peace and goodwill, Gary xx

  20. Hi bazza,
    Thank you for your thoughtful words. I decided to just let the 'picture' of imagination to be the thought in this posting. Or, maybe I just got lazy:-)
    I am so relieved to find out that Sonny managed to have a Christmas at home with his family. This wonderful news has made my day.
    Warm and positive thoughts to all of your family at this most profound time.
    Thank you bazza.
    With respect and kind wishes, Gary.

  21. Dear Old Kitty,
    Ah, the joys, indeed! :-) Of course, my 'gathering' in this posting was very 'tongue-in-cheek', with maybe a little bit of truth in it.
    Yes, for sure, fart away and no need to blame some poor innocent creature or 'Grannie', for that matter. Although, blaming the fictional Grannie, is not a bad idea. lol
    It was reassuring to know that my son was here. I'm glad he spent some time with his mates in his room. I don't think he wanted to spend some time with this 'old fart' :-)
    Penny thanks you for the hugs and sends one back to you and Charlie.
    With respect and positive wishes, your way, Gary x

  22. Dear Joylene,
    Your comment makes for some thought provoking reading. It saddens me to know that Christmas has, in the past, been such a painful occasion.
    Thank goodness that this was thus, quiet and non-eventful.
    Lonely and sad, combined with feeling insane with grief, over lost love and the indifference I felt, nearly destroyed me.
    Somehow, I stay positive, inspired and encouraged for a better future.
    I do so wish you, my dear friend, a peaceful and happier time ahead.
    I am very touched by what you have written, Joylene. I want you to know that your kindness and friendship within this, the blogging family, has brought comfort beyond any words.
    In peace and respect, Gary.

  23. Dear Sharon,
    And I agree with Joylene and your good self.
    It's very sad that your mother din't bother to call you on your birthday or Christmas. At least, you have decided not to get all worked up over it and made sure it doesn't bother you, like it surely did, in the past. That shows your strength.
    And the inspiration of your blog friends has be a source of comfort. That is a display of humanity at its most profound and caring.
    I'm very happy your family had a nice, relaxed Christmas. That sound absolutely wonderful:-)
    Positive wishes and hugs, your way, Gary.

  24. Dear Lynne,
    I do understand that feeling of being with a crowd of people and having the sensation of being so very far away.
    I'm mostly comfortable with being alone. I focus on all that is good in my life.
    There are no adequate words that I can convey that reduce the sadness and worry you have for your beloved Mother. This must have been a deeply emotional and rather overpowering Christmas for all of your loved ones. Yet,despite this, dear lady, you have embraced the magic of the holiday season that your Mother cherishes. My prayers are with you and your Mother.
    Humanity, quite right, should be a daily occurrence and not conveniently brought to the surface, at this time of year.
    My son has gone through some major upheavals in his life. He finds comfort and solace amongst his friends. Although, he may seem distant, I know, deep down, that he understands just how much I have done for him. It's all about love and he will be just fine.
    Peaceful and caring thoughts, your way, Gary.

  25. Dear Heather,
    Thank you. It seems that those people realised how so much more you meant to them, once you moved away and started that new and exciting chapter, in your lives.
    Humanity is for all time and not just for Christmas. How true.
    Peaceful thoughts, your way, Gary.

  26. Dear Rebecca,
    The plastic bird? Or as a New Yorker might pronounce it, 'a toykey':-), but I left the toykey, sorry turkey, in the oven a bit too long and it kinda' had the texture of plastic! lol
    I'm very pleased you liked this posting. You have summed it up, extremely well. I have no unrealistic expectations of the 'festive season'. I'm thrilled for those who have the sheer joy of a calm and relaxed family and friends get-together. My 'fictional' family in this posting was just a bit of light-hearted fun that tried to exploit some stereotypes. Of course, I found much enjoyment in being here, on Christmas Day, mostly alone. Based on the fictional family, I truly am grateful for all I have.
    There will, most likely be a few fireworks let off, here in Leek, on New Year's eve. So, potentially, another night of fear for Penny.
    Thank you for your kind words.
    Here's wishing you and your loved ones, a peaceful, relaxed 2011.
    With respect, Gary.

  27. Hi Boonie S,
    I did try to make this thought provoking.
    May you and your loved ones have a peaceful and positive holiday season. Happy photography:-)
    Kind wishes, Gary.

  28. Dear Madeleine,
    I'm okay with my rather odd Christmases. It's been an ongoing theme, for a few years, now.
    It's really nice to know that you would like to have spent more time with your relatives. I vaguely recall seeing my son:-)
    Ah yes, turkey farts. Some things are just too good to share. lol
    Here's wishing you a peaceful 2011.
    In kindness, Gary:-)

  29. Dear Manic Chef,
    Oh dear, an intoxicated superintendent over for dinner. I hope you didn't suffer too much.
    You have gone through a number of trials and tribulations over this, the alleged 'festive season'. I do hope all is well for your family and for you.
    For what it's worth, my friend, you know you have my support and empathy for what you have endured. I know you have discovered a determined resilience. Keep embracing the positive possibilities in your life. Just like me, you are not alone.
    In peace and wishing you a most fulfilling and positive New Year, Gary and co-starring, Penny.

  30. Dear Masked Friend,
    Sorry to note that a family get-together was not exactly a merry time.
    Seems to me that we both can relate to being alone and being merry.
    In peace and understanding, your friend, Gary.

  31. Your latest blog so moved me (but not of the wind variety) to attempt a poem whether it does justice to your eloquent blog I shall let you be the judge let me just say that your blog captured one of the great pleasure of living on 'ones' own.

    to fart in the dark
    oh please take heart
    for those who are not alone

    for they have to wait
    and anticipate
    for the time when they are prone (it the best I could do for a rym any suggestion greatfully received)

    for the lux-ury
    of a fart or three
    that rumbles thru the air

    with the noise of a drum
    much more than a hmm
    and the smell well who the hell cares!

    it not perfect G but I hope you and anyone else who reads like it
    cheers K

  32. Gary,
    Reading your post and then the comments and all I can think to do is wish for all of us, everyone, everywhere, peace... inward... and outward.


  33. seems like a pretty sound christmas to me:)

  34. Dear kerrie,
    So pleased that this posting moved you to create a most fartisitic poem:-) Your poem truly captures the essence of living on ones own.
    Fart for fart sakes. Your fart's in the right place.

    "to fart in the dark
    oh please take heart
    for those who are not alone

    for they have to wait
    and anticipate
    for the time when they are prone
    (to let out the most flatulent drone)
    (it the best I could do for a rym any suggestion greatfully received)

    for the lux-ury
    of a fart or three
    that rumbles thru the air

    with the noise of a drum
    much more than a hmm
    and the smell well who the hell cares!

    it not perfect G but I hope you and anyone else who reads like it
    cheers K"
    I did attempt to add a line. I hope is okay with you, kerrie.

    Well, my friend, I thought that poem was excellent and written write from the fart:-)
    With kindness and fartfelt wishes, your way, Gary :-)

  35. Dear joanne,
    Thank you,dear lady. And a positive environment starts from within. Ah, to live in a world where stigma, labels and judgement are alien concepts.
    In peace, Gary

  36. Dear Creepy Query Girl,
    It was a 'pretty sound' Christmas. Although, I'm not so sure the 'toot' of a turkey fart, was all that pretty:-)

  37. Like they can't pick your family. Thank goodness for friends! (And it doesn't matter HOW you meet them!)
    Wishing you a very happy New Year, with only the best to come!

  38. Dear CindyLu,
    That's very true. And when it comes to friends, I've had the great privilege of making some very nice friends through blogging.
    Hello, friend:-)
    Thank you for the New Year's wishes. May you and your loved ones have a most peaceful 2011.
    With respect and kindness, Gary

  39. your addition is greatfully and artistically received

  40. Hi Gary,
    This is pretty funny. You really know how to get the points out front and across... 'arr, load the farts captain!'
    Glad the day was good for you.
    Wishing you a Great New Year.
    Oh, and I really liked Penny as a guest poster; she's amazing; doggone good!
    In merriment,


  41. Hey kerrie,
    Thank you very much. I've never been any good at poetry. So it took my last two brain cells to come up with something :-)
    Cheers, Gary

  42. Hi Dixie,
    Thank you kindly. I do try to formulate something funny and light-farted, sorry, hearted.
    I recall that Elton 'John' did an album titled, 'Captain 'Fartastic' and the Brown Dirt Cowboys.'
    Christmas Day was very quiet and peaceful. Well, mostly quiet, if I forget to mention turkey farts:-)
    Penny is one darned clever dog. If only I could write something as good as her.
    Thank you for the New Year's wishes. I do so hope that the New Year brings you much happiness and contentment.
    With peaceful and merry wishes, your way, Gary.

  43. In one sense, you were lucky being alone Christmas Eve, with the exception of the brief appearance of your son with his suspicious buds. In another sense, not so much. But I know where you're coming from. To be truthful and in a sense, I was in between those worlds myself, cutting my own turkey farts half the time with only myself to share them with.

    I spent Christmas Eve at a restaurant with my wife because of all the family squabbling going on. That's a first for me. Usually that night is spent at a family member's house. The restaurant had five other people there. I felt like a homeless person. But my wife thought it was romantic because it was just the two of us... which I'm glad she felt that way.

    The nice thing about having Penny, your ever faithful and always loving companion/pet, is that you'll never have to hear the bickering and patronizing of family members unless you've smoked some kind of Christmas tree and thought Penny was having an argument with you about politics, or perhaps, bragging about how she's a better driver than you are and can grill a steak better than you. Or something.

    Anyhow... I've got to move on to your latest post to comment. I've been behind on blog commenting for my own personal reasons.

    Take care, Gary

  44. Hi Kelly,
    Yes, my friend, I truly was okay with basically spending Christmas by myself.
    I think it's good that you had some quality time to just shit there, I mean sit there and enjoy your own exquisite turkey farts:-)
    I'm grateful that I don't have to tolerate family squabbles. Then again, I think, in its own way, your Christmas Eve, spent in that restaurant with your wife, was a sort of welcome change of pace. Besides, it made your wife happy and that's got to be a good thing.
    She was comfortable just being with the man she loves.
    Yes, there are many positive aspects to having Penny as my lone company. Aspects that you have so eloquently described. However, we came very close to talking about religion. 'Gary?' she barked, 'did you know that 'Dog' is 'God', spelt backwards?' :-)
    I thank you very kindly for your thoughtful comment.
    Must go now and smoke my Christmas tree. Should be fun, considering it's artificial!
    Cheers and all the best to you, Gary :-)

  45. I laughed out loud at the turkey farts joke. Gary, you're priceless. It's nice to just sit and fart without the scrutiny of other people, that I agree. I applaud you for celebrating Christmas your way. We're not that different, really. =)
    I hope your son's suspicious friends are not aliens from Uranus though BTW. What did Penny get for Christmas besides your Turkey farts?

    Hugs and a bottle of cranberry juice your way,

  46. Hey Shanaz,
    Ummm..just a moment'toot, toot'..ah..that's better...
    Yes, for sure there can be quite the advantage to just let rip and not have to explain to anyone.
    I take it you had a fairly peaceful Christmas.
    My son's 'suspicious' friends are aliens from Pluto and have arrived here because they are so upset that some bloody astronomers have demoted poor Pluto planet's status:-)
    And Penny got plenty of doggy treats and a cute little doggy coat from my son. Awe...
    Hugs and some left over turkey stuffing, your way, Gary :-)


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.