Monday, 13 December 2010

And The Sign Said.


"And the sign said "Long-haired freaky people need not apply"
So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
He said "You look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do"
So I took off my hat, I said "Imagine that. Huh! Me workin' for you!"
Whoa-oh-oh
Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind.  Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?"  
(Lyrics and song,"Signs", sung by the Five Man Electrical Band)

Okay, and the sign 'said'.  No, of course not, I mean a sign wouldn't 'talk'.  Would it?  Well, I did find myself muttering away to the sign below.  I can assure you it did not respond.


Now, I'm not one to swear in my blogs.  Don't really need to use Anglo-Saxon derivatives as some kinda' fucking shock factor!  Oh no, not me!  Notice my usage of the exclamation mark!  Aren't you impressed?!
So for documentary purposes, only, here is what I asked of the sign in the photograph.  "What the fuck do you mean?  45 minutes?  No return within 1 hour?  If I'm only allowed 45 minutes, then why oh why do you state that I cannot return within 1 hour?  What happens if I sneak into my car before the hour has expired?  Does this mean that actually you want me to stay away 15 minutes more than the allotted time, so that some traffic warden can slap a ticket on my car?  Answer me sign!  Give me a sign.  For fuck sakes!"
End of documentary purposes.  I must say that some pedestrians gave me some rather strange looks as I took this photo and chatted to the sign.  I wonder why.


Now this is only a brief blog.


Because I'm feeling a little saw.


To end this brief posting, I submit the above photograph.  And before you ask, it's not an orgy involving Casper the friendly ghost's family.  I wonder what your interpretation of it is, and which 'person' would represent how you feel about your life.  You can click on the photo to make it larger.
That's it for me.  It's a sign of the times and I'm signing off.
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44 comments:

  1. Joylene Nowell Butler13 December 2010 at 23:50

    The underwear make me more nervous than the saw did. I have several saws and they do a lousy job. The underwear look dangerous though. You could probably strangle someone pretty easily. Now the picture makes sense. It's life. Thank goodness not all that stuff happens in one day. Though, I've had weeks like that. I even fell out of a tree once.

    Great post, Gary. I'm going off to ponder the underwear.

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  2. klahanie14 December 2010 at 00:09

    Hi Joylene,
    Me thinks I'm still suffering from the lingering aftermath of the flu.
    That's my excuse for this weird posting.
    Now, when it comes to underwear, I shall be brief. The underwear in question is about to be washed. I've been told it's a good idea to wash your underwear, once a year. You could strangle someone with that underwear, however, the scent might kill 'em first :-)
    Much better than any old lousy saw.
    Sorry to find out you fell out of a tree. I'm wondering if you were all patriotic and fell out of a maple or, perhaps, being in BC, a dogwood tree.
    Thanks Joylene and stay out of trees lol
    Kind regards and a pair of dangerous underwear, your way, Gary:-)

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  3. The Blogger Formerly Known As14 December 2010 at 00:40

    Looks more like you were feeling a big saw. But, honestly Gary, your fucking language is deplorable :)

    Unfortunately it grieves me to admit, I worked in transport for so long, I know the meaning of practically every British traffic sign. I am deeply ashamed :(
    The enigmatic, masked blogger

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  4. klahanie14 December 2010 at 00:56

    Aha, Masked Friend,
    I couldn't find me little saw. So, that's a bit of a saw point:-)
    And you should be deeply ashamed knowing most of the British traffic signs. I saw one that had an exclamation mark on it like this:! and stated, 'Traffic Queues Likely'. No kidding.
    Take care and watch out for the 'magic roundabout' :-)

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  5. Dixie@dcrelief14 December 2010 at 02:44

    Okay... the top right of the tree, that's me...sitting there, watching clouds!
    Gary, I think this post is a sign that you're getting better.(maybe)
    Signing off,
    Dixie

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  6. David14 December 2010 at 08:20

    Dear Gary,
    Apologies, firstly, for not commenting on your previous post, only I've been feeling lazy lately.
    Anyways, I totally agree with you about the stupidity of "that" sign. I've seen others like it and like you I am similarly bemused.
    As for the people in the tree, I hope I'd be the intelligent one half way up to the left, who seems to have built himself some kind of platform to stand on. Apart from that, he's obviously lonely and isolated, which isn't like me at all!
    Speak to you soon.
    With Very Best Wishes,
    David.

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  7. Gorilla Bananas14 December 2010 at 10:48

    That picture should be titled "Life without Genitals".

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  8. Old Kitty14 December 2010 at 11:58

    I would be the smiley casper halfway up the trunk safe on the platform beaming away at my achievements - not so high and not so low!!!

    I don't understand the sign. Thank goodness I don't drive otherwise I'd be in trouble!
    :-)

    I hope you are feeling better from your flu??!! Hugs to Penny! Take care
    x

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  9. juliet14 December 2010 at 13:01

    Hey Gary,
    The road sign, like a lot of them doesn't make sense. It is laughable.
    As for the tree, I would be one of the couple sitting on a branch halfway up. I feel lucky to be in a supportive relationship, happily waiting to climb higher, but content where I am right now.
    Hope you're feeling better my dear. Keep your fingers crossed that the weather doesn't prevent us visitung this weekend, it's been a long time since we saw you and we're both looking forward to doing soon. XX

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  10. klahanie14 December 2010 at 15:41

    Hi Dixie,
    For sure, watching clouds and enjoying the view:-)
    I'm feeling a little bit better. Then again, based on this silly posting, the sign I maybe should note is a 'Stop' sign lol
    Take good care of yourself, Dixie.
    In peace and respect, Gary

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  11. klahanie14 December 2010 at 15:50

    Dear David,
    No worries, my friend. Totally lazy is something I can relate too. Still, I appreciate you commenting.
    That road sign and a few others I can think of, are totally baffling. If that sign bemuses a man of your intelligence, then I don't feel so bad that I don't understand what the hell it means.
    So you would be the one who erected a platform for his comfort and safety. And, of course, you are not alone and isolated. You've got all those other 'naked people' on the tree to amuse you:-)
    Look forward to a nice, intellectual chat with you. Well, a nice chat, at least.
    All the very best to you, David.
    Kind wishes, Gary.

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  12. klahanie14 December 2010 at 15:52

    Hi Gorilla Bananas,
    Indeed it should. Now you know what I did with that saw:-)
    Take good care and thanks for commenting.
    With respect, Gary.

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  13. klahanie14 December 2010 at 16:04

    Hello Old Kitty,
    My goodness, a comment from a gorilla and now a cat:-) What next? A talking and writing dog named Penny? lol
    Aha, 'platform' 'beam'ing, very good. A very good analogy of what you would be on that there tree:-) See, I can do some poetry.
    I'm relieved to know that others don't understand that sign. I do drive. Must remember, 'Gary, you are in Britain, now. You drive on the left hand side of the road!'
    I'm feeling slightly better, thank you. Although, after writing this rubbish, I'm not so sure:-)
    I've given Penny a hug for you.
    You take care.
    Kind wishes, Gary
    x

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  14. klahanie14 December 2010 at 16:13

    Hi Julie,
    Yes, it sure is laughable. I couldn't resist taking a photo.
    I'm so glad you have responded to the tree photo. I think folks can find some significance in it. Your response is encouraging and indicates your desire for an even happier future, at your own pace. Excellent!
    I'm a little better, thank you. I really must continue to try and take it easy. We know how the flu can sneak back on you.
    I do hope you manage to visit over the weekend. The weather forecast is a bit dodgy. Let's just hope that it all works out. Would be lovely to see you guys.
    My love to the both of you, Gary xx

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  15. Kelly14 December 2010 at 18:16

    "Feeling a little saw", aye? So how did the saw feel. Did it bite you with it's rusty teeth? It's good that you had that talk with the fucking sign. No shock value intended with the "F word", there. :) And by the "F word", I mean "fiddledeedee", of course.

    If I were to associate myself with any one of the Casper Family Orgy Members, I would have to go with the one hanging on the tree branch at the moment. Don't ask why. While hanging on the branch, perhaps one of Casper's female family spirits could float over and give me a BJ. You know... a Big Jacket... or something.

    Speaking of fancy underwear, like you've so delightfully shown us, I have a few spotty ones to share, if you want them. The Fairy Princess could use them as blankets to keep her good self warm with.

    I gotta admit here, Gary ol' pal', this post is quite different from some of your normal offerings and I have to admit- I quite liked it. Like you say, at times, over at my cyber neck o' the woods... 'Should I be worried'?

    Anyhoooo... You take good care now.

    Your pal in insanity and depravity,

    Kelly

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  16. Mrs Midnite14 December 2010 at 21:04

    Hi Gary
    I was thinking family tree but now thinking tree of life.

    Just now I am the little person falling out of the tree, could you draw in a wee trampoline so I bounce. Normally I think I'd be the one second from the top in the middle, waving :0)

    Hope you little saw gets better and I have no comment about the pants.

    Mrs M

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  17. The Reckmonster14 December 2010 at 21:19

    Ahhhh, Gary, I'm glad to see that they have signs that are just as retarded on THAT side of the pond!! I'd hate to think that we Americans are hoarding all of the traffic-related retardation, eh? LOL. If I were to pick a person on the tree - I'd bet he one standing on the plank about half way up the tree.

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  18. Anonymous14 December 2010 at 22:50

    Signs.. oh I am forever remarking over the stupidity of signs.. love that one though.. makes you say the fuck word, for sure..
    now the underwear, rather snazzy I might add...
    and the tree, hmm, i think i am the one on the right sight of the picture with "her" back facing the camera..


    (PS- you gave me the cyber flu good buddy as I have been ailing 3 days now..lol)

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  19. joanne14 December 2010 at 23:37

    i actually love street signs like these and newspaper headlines that make no sense, and other things that make me stop and scratch my head and wonder about the abstract creativity that weaves its way into unexpected corners of life...

    and you know the "f" word is at times the perfect tool to select from the shed, as is a saw... it all just depends..

    and finally, i am (and have been) all the characters in the picture...

    glad you seem to be feeling better :)

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  20. klahanie15 December 2010 at 02:14

    Hi Kelly,
    I almost got bitten by its rusty teeth. However, the saw couldn't 'hack' it...
    Now then, I only use a word like 'fuck', for purely documentary purposes. Now a word as shocking as "fiddledeedee" would never be typed by me. On no sir:-)
    I can understand you would be the one hanging on the tree branch. What with you being a bit of a swinger. And yes, of course, being cold where you are, a "BJ" as in "Big Jacket", would certainly warm you up.
    Pretty colourful underwear I have displayed for your viewing pleasure. I hate to think what the spotty things are on your underwear. Would it be the pattern on said undies, or maybe something else...I'm sure the fairy princess would love to use your personalised underpants to snuggle up in and drift of too sleep in a fume-induced stupor.
    You know I like to do variety. I like to keep you guessing. And, if you quite liked this posting, you should be very worried. But that's okay. After all, like you say, we both seem to share a rather weird bond in the world of insanity and depravity.
    Y'all take it easy.
    Kind wishes and a genuine British road sign, your way, Gary :-)

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  21. klahanie15 December 2010 at 02:24

    Hi Mrs. Midnite,
    The tree is supposed to be a representation of how you see yourself and your life, as it is now. Or something along those lines. It's completely up to your own interpretation.
    You fall out of the tree and now focus on the trampoline that you visualise in your mind. Now, that broke the fall and you have bounced right back:-)
    I see you waving, like you normally would. Here's a wave back.
    My saw aint saw no more. And my pants. Can I assume you will not be using them as a 'desktop background'? lol
    Take good care.
    Kind wishes, Gary

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  22. klahanie15 December 2010 at 02:36

    Aha Michelle,
    Well, you didn't think we'd give you Americans exclusive rights to silly signs. Of course not:-)
    Which reminds me. I remember being in California and seeing this sign on the road that said, 'PED XING'.
    I asked my American friend, 'Hey man, what's with the 'pedxing'?
    He laughed and said it meant 'pedestrian crossing'. Doh!
    Seems a few folks want to be on that plank. Interesting.
    Take care, Michelle.
    In kindness, Gary:-)

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  23. Anonymous15 December 2010 at 02:41

    street signs are foolish ones! u could easily ignore them!

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  24. Anonymous15 December 2010 at 02:42

    well expressed even though the underwear could have been left out!

    but it makes sense- the world is full of such fools!

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  25. klahanie15 December 2010 at 02:48

    Hi Lynne,
    So I can assume you have some silly signs in the Sunshine State. I wonder if you have a WTF conversation with a sing like I did. lol
    The underwear is indeed snazzy. My 'Homer Simpson' underpants seem to have gone missing. Doh!
    So you are the one with "her" back facing the camera. That would be 'out on a limb'. Intriguing. Thanks Lynne.
    I'm really sorry that I have given you cyber flu. Please stay well back from this comment. I do hope you are feeling better, now.
    In kindness, Gary :-)

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  26. klahanie15 December 2010 at 03:01

    Hi joanne,
    We certainly do get subjected to the bizarre. Kinda like a 'nun on a jester', or 'virgin on the ridiculous' :-)
    I live in a small town and some of the headlines are rather strange. I do recall a headline in the local paper, that in a way, made me realise that I live in a quite peaceful town. The headline stated,"Girl loses doll out of pram on Derby Street". Although, saddened for the little girl, it certainly is better that some of those horrific headlines you can read.
    I think the "f" can be used in a context that does not shock or appear to be used in a crude manner. What I consider to be, my most brutally honest posting, was littered with profanities.
    I can relate to what you note. I too, at some point, have been all the different characters on the tree.
    I am better, thank you. Then again, based on this posting, I'm not so sure:-)
    Take good care of yourself, joanne.
    In peace and respect, Gary

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  27. klahanie15 December 2010 at 03:04

    Hi Smita,
    I would love to ignore the street signs. And then ignore the silly traffic ticket I got for reasons I don't understand because of the foolish sign:-)

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  28. klahanie15 December 2010 at 03:07

    Hello again Smita,
    Of course, if I left out the underwear, it would have been an even briefer blog:-)
    Take good care.
    In peace and poetry, Gary

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  29. Samantha Vérant15 December 2010 at 15:25

    The picture? I see dead people. Wait. That was a line in a movie. But I do see a murder! Why is that one guy throwing the other off one of the highest branches???? Why?

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  30. klahanie15 December 2010 at 16:00

    Bonjour Samantha,
    And that's about the only line I remember in that movie.
    Maybe, the one guy above was actually trying to hold on to the dude who fell of one of the highest branches. I don't know. Of course, the picture really is subject to interpretation. Lets go see if Columbo can figure this out:-)

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  31. kerrie15 December 2010 at 21:29

    HI G
    Your 'briefs' are the tits. Are they for special occasions or do they only come out to accompany the saw?
    regards
    K

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  32. klahanie15 December 2010 at 22:55

    Hi K,
    Actually, I wonder around the neighbourhood in those briefs. Accompanied with my trusty saw.
    Yes, I'm kidding:-) I don't bother bringing along the saw....
    Kind regards, Gary

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  33. Kamila15 December 2010 at 23:22

    I love your brief blog post.. hahaha...

    is that your drawing gary?? Yeah after you said something abour casper I can't take him off my mind while looking at your picture here..

    I just feel happy because there are some people in your photo that reach the top and they are smiling..some are a little satisfied being in the middle.. and others become sad because they either leave someone behind or they are alone... and that makes me sad too... I think I can be the one who's on the bottom still striving to get into the top.. but I don't wanna be alone when I reach there..

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  34. klahanie16 December 2010 at 02:54

    Hi Kamila,
    Aha, yes indeed, a 'brief blog' lol
    That drawing was not done by me. It's what I used when I ran a group for men with mental health issues at a Charity for the homeless and the 'rough sleepers'.
    It does sort of look like 'Casper the friendly ghost'. :-)
    A very interesting interpretation of the drawing, Kamila. And the fact you strive to climb up the tree, but not be alone, is a most positive response. When you get to the top, you and whoever is with you, can enjoy the beautiful and peaceful view.
    Thanks Kamila.
    Kind wishes, your way, Gary:-)

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  35. N. R. Williams16 December 2010 at 03:55

    Hi Gary, thanks for following me. I think the picture must be a family tree and I am somewhere in there, just to tired right now to figure it out.
    Nancy
    N. R. Williams, fantasy author

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  36. THE SNEE17 December 2010 at 01:03

    Hi Gary,
    LOL- I like the way you sign in and sign out of your blog. Silly signage is so much fun. When we were relocating out to Utah from Vermont a few years ago, I entertained myself by taking cell phone photos of restroom signage...yes toilet paper dispenser, toilets, paper towel dispensers, sinks, and special directions on how to use said rest stop bathrooms...OK, we know that my coping strategies can be a little out there. Anyway, signs that make no sense are truly entertaining. So is that ghost holding tree of yours. Given my current state, I'm definitely gravitating towards the ghost on the bottom and The one at the top...I certainly keep climbing up trees, relocating, and climbing up again! Three Cheers for a sign/fine post, friend.

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  37. klahanie17 December 2010 at 01:07

    Greetings N. R. Williams,
    My pleasure to link in with your fascinating site. Thank you for linking into my shy and humble blog:-)
    It could be 'family tree', it could be the 'tree of life'. It can be whatever you want it to be. Very much how one wishes to interpret it.
    I hope you managed to get some rest.
    With respect and kind wishes, Gary

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  38. klahanie17 December 2010 at 01:23

    Hi Rebecca,
    Just thought I should sign in and comment on your delightful and thoughtful comment.
    That's fascinating to think you would go and take photographs of restrooms. I might consider doing such a thing. However, knowing my luck, any photographs I took of a restroom might just be misunderstood lol
    I had a hunch you would relate to some of those silly signs that are out there to amuse and bewilder us.
    I like your interesting analogy in relation to the 'tree of ghosts'.
    I've done my fair share of relocation. Has left me out on a limb, on many an occasion.
    Thank you, my good friend. It is always a pleasure to have you visit my ridiculous site.
    Take very good care, Rebecca.
    This is Gary, signing off:-)

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  39. Yarnlady17 December 2010 at 03:50

    I'd be the one at the top and the rest are my family. I"m smiling down on all and wondering what I did to deserve all of this! Good and bad!

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  40. klahanie17 December 2010 at 19:29

    Hi MartyrMom,
    What an interesting analogy of the tree picture. Life can be bewildering and we have to try and understand the good and the bad and what it means to us. Yes, I have no idea what I'm talking about:-)
    Take very good care.
    With respect, Gary.

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  41. Anonymous21 December 2010 at 11:16

    I like the black and white sketch. I think I feel like the person on the platform smiling with arms outstretched or the one with their arm around someone. :O)

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  42. klahanie21 December 2010 at 16:43

    Hi Madeleine,
    Thank you very much for leaving a comment. That is most appreciated.
    I'm so glad you liked the black and white drawing and I thank you for sharing who you thought you would be on it.
    Have a peaceful and positive day.
    With respect and kind wishes, Gary :-)

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  43. Eat To Live30 March 2013 at 14:17

    Love, love this song. What a blast from the past. Speaking of long haired freaky people. When I was young I had a date come to pick me up at my home. My Mother seen he had long hair, opened the door and told him to get a haircut before he came again. LOL.... I was mortified at the time.

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  44. klahanie31 March 2013 at 02:13

    Hi Terry,

    Oops, I see you found this posting. Yep, I clearly remember that song. Way before your time, young lady. I wish somebody would tell me to get a haircut. Then again, my hair seems to be um vanishing! :)

    Long haired freaky wishes, your way,

    Gary :)

    ReplyDelete

I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.

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