Saturday, 21 August 2010

Alone At Rudyard Lake.

There are times I can barely manage to get out of bed.  Depression drains my energy and to tap away on the keyboard becomes a daunting task.  I have been experiencing this for about a week now.  Somehow, I will draw on my positive resilience and get this posting done.
I am a single dad and when my son hurts, I hurt.  I see the pain in the eyes of my child and I want to hug the pain away.  Hush now son, dad believes in you and it's going to be just fine.  I have few friends but when they hurt, I hurt.  I see the sadness in my few friends and I do my best to make them smile.
I try to inspire and be inspired.  Yesterday, I found the strength to get out and visit a place of beauty and tranquillity.  I needed a positive distraction and some time for gentle reflection.  Where was my life going?

A few minutes away from my house is Rudyard Lake.  Rudyard Kipling was named after this lake which is, in actuality, a reservoir.  His parents met there in 1863.

I stood at the edge of Rudyard Lake and marvelled at the peaceful scene that filled my eyes.

It began to rain.  I listened to the breeze as it echoed round the lake.  The boats bobbed up and down.  They swayed from side to side.  Alone at Rudyard Lake.  Just me, the sights, the sounds and the rain.  These few fleeting moments made me realise how much I have and how much I have to give.  To my son and to my friends; we are all in this together.  Sharing and caring makes your world and my world, a better place.


  1. Beautiful views of the lake, Gary. I would go there too if I was close. Can't say anything to soothe your pain, other than, you're not alone.

  2. It's a beautiful place, Gary - inspirational and peaceful. I'm so sorry you are struggling with your depression at the moment. I hope visiting the lake helped a little.

    I live close to a pool - not on the scale of your lake but still beautiful. I walk there often and I find it very grounding and up lifting. It reminds me that there is still beauty and peace in this often chaotic and ugly world.

    Keep well

    Julie xx

  3. This is a beautiful post Gary with great photos that really capture the serenity of the place. I know exactly how you feel. Melancholy hits us all and it's a pretty amazing thing that you can dig deep inside to find the beauty in the midst of the darkness, and then share it with all of us. I find my happy spot here on Lake Champlain. The light has a way of grabbing the water, clouds, mountains and sky to brighten a difficult day.

  4. Wow its beautiful there...anywhere where there is water, me serene...I particularly love the ocean..the waves...Best Wishes to you and your family..!

  5. Gary, I am sending my prayers and positive wishes to you and your family. The scenes at the lovely Rudyard Lake are beautiful. I hope you felt a bit lifted in a good way after the solitary trip down at the lake. I love the smell of rain and when it's windy, just looking at the pictures posted up there is making me a lot calmer - I have been caught by the flu bug, sneezing away like a mad woman.

    I do know about being depressed and I do know you'll come out of it, with time, Gary. Just go to the core of your being - an advice repetitively uttered by Ryhen, our friend - and know that you are more than the 'darkness'. Take your time, and know that I am sending positive energy to you.

    With love, joy and peace,

  6. hi mr gary! sorry youre feeling so down. im glad being at that lake helped. nature stuff is neat cause it could make us feel a lot closer to god and the earth and that make us feel better. those pictures are real nice.
    ...hugs from lenny

  7. Dear Gary,
    I'm sorry to hear that you feel depressed. And I know enough about depression to realize that the usual "uplifting" platitudes just don't work for those who find themselves in the throes of this horrible illness. I know it is an unusually alienating way to feel.
    Just know, then, that I, and I'm sure all your mates, are there for you. If you need to talk, just give me a ring or come around. And I sincerely hope things improve for your son, also.
    With Very Best Wishes,

  8. Gary, it's impossible of course to call someone you have never met a true friend but you can really connect to those in the blogosphere. All I know is you have been missed and we will patiently wait until you are ready.
    Best regards to you and your son.
    “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked” (Bernard Meltzer).

  9. Hi Joylene,
    The lake is a very peaceful place and only a gentle 30 minute stroll from my house.
    I am better now, thank you. It is comforting to know that we are not alone and are here for each other.
    With respect, Gary

  10. Hi Julie,
    Thank you. I will be okay, because with the support of good people like yourself, I make it so.
    Visiting the lake was a positive distraction from some overwhelming events. Like you, it makes me appreciate the beauty that is on offer, all around.
    Peaceful wishes, your way, Gary x

  11. I feel you, my friend. I know exactly what it feels like not to have the strength to get out of bed. And I'm sure every parent hurts when their kids hurt. It can be so tough. I'm glad you found some peace. I love the water. Water always does that for me.
    Much love,

  12. Greetings THE SNEE,
    I am so pleased to know, that in times of darkness, you find the resolve to go to such a beautiful place to raise your spirits.
    I do try to be transparent. Through such therapeutic writing and a bit of photographic exploit, I find my day becomes that little bit better.
    Thank you and may you have continued joy at your 'happy spot'. Lake Champlain is a lovely place.
    With respect and kind wishes, Gary :-)

  13. Hi smArtee,
    Thank you for such a nice comment. I just visualised the ocean waves back in my other home, Vancouver.
    Your kind wishes to me and my son are very much appreciated.
    May you and your loved ones have a peaceful and positive life.
    With respect, Gary

  14. Dear Shanaz,
    Thank you for your heart warming message.
    I felt quite rejuvenated after visiting Rudyard Lake. And, just like you, the smell of the rain and a bit of wind,(no, not that kind of wind) makes me feel all tranquil.
    I hope you have gotten over your sneezing and I'm so pleased that the photos made you experience some calm. That is most encouraging.
    My bouts of depression are no way near as bad as they have been in the past. That is because I challenge those dark moods.
    I have much to be grateful for. It's just at times the pain of those I love overwhelms me and I wish that I could do more. Being a single parent can be rewarding but, at times, it can be so difficult. Mostly, I'm very proud of how well I have coped. A bit of depression will never, ever get the best of me.
    Thank you, Shanaz for that positive energy. You are a very nice lady.
    Warm wishes and some positive thoughts, your way, Gary :-)

  15. Hey Lenny,
    Thank you for such nice words. Going to the lake was really neat and made me feel so much better. I'm glad you liked the photos.
    You are doing such a delightful blog, Lenny. Reading your stuff makes me smile. So a big thanks to you:-)
    Happy thoughts, your way, Gary :-)

  16. Dear David,
    Thank you for your kind words of support and encouragement.
    I have been going through a bout of depression mainly because I seem to be absorbing the pain of those I care so very much for. I just don't know what to do to be of more help.
    A few minutes away at the lake helped me gather my thoughts. You know I always work through my moments of darkness. It is thanks to good friends like you that I find the incentive to keep moving forward in a more positive light.
    Thank you for you wishes that the situation will improve for my son. That means a lot. Shall talk to you and hopefully visit you soon.
    With kind wishes and respect, Gary.

  17. Hi bazza,
    Thank you for your wise words. I have definitely found a caring and indeed empathetic community within the blogosphere. This has been of great benefit and I am grateful for your kind interaction.
    I like to think I'm 'cracked' in the nicest possible way:-)
    Cheers and thanks again, bazza.
    Peace and respect, Gary.

  18. Dear Gucci Mama,
    You know I have a lot of respect and admiration for you. Your kindness and your transparency shines through in your comments and in your wonderful and varied blog.
    Every decent parent would do all they could to relieve the anguish of their child in pain. I have battled with mental illness but mostly I win against the part of me that tries to overwhelm with dark and negative thoughts.
    Being a single parent can be very tough. There has been many a time I wished another adult was here to offer advice when my boy is having such a tough time. Still, all in all, I do cope and I'm inspired to be positive thanks to lovely and caring people like you.
    In peace, kindness and happy thoughts of water scenes, your way, Gary

  19. It looks like a great place to just think and relax and have some very important quiet time. I hope things turn around for you and you start to feel better. I'm in the same boat so I completly understand how hard it can be.

  20. I am so sorry that you are going through this at the moment Gary. I hope that the beatuful lake helped a little, it's important to have a special place where although your problems may not go away, but can reflect on things. You are seeing the positives which is a wonderful thing. I am so glad that you manage to work through it often enough to post something whether it makes us sad or laugh out loud, it's wonderful that you share it with us - please keep sharing it with us!
    Take care

  21. Hi Wolf,
    Thank you for your encouragement. I always work through my depressive moments. It can be really tough at times but I am determined to not let my illness overwhelm me.
    Rudyard Lake is a great location to just find a bit of peace from the chaos in my head.
    I reckon you have some very inspirational moments when you go on your trips back to beautiful Vancouver Island.
    Thanks man. Take good care of yourself. Gary.

  22. Hi Diane,
    Thank you for such a kind and caring comment.
    I'm going to be okay. Sometimes, just like it can be for others, life and circumstances can suffocate my positive outlook.
    Spending a few moments out at such a beautiful place does make me realise that things are not so bad. I can cope.
    I always try to see the positives. My blogs are a form of therapy. I will always been open and transparent. It is my hope that I can help others through the power of genuine empathy and caring.
    Thank you for your wonderful interaction, Diane. It means so very much. Please take care and be gentle with yourself.
    In kindness, Gary

  23. Like you I find peace in nature away from the hullabaloo.

    There is a serenity when in the comapny of nature that humanity cannot compete with.

  24. Hi John,
    For sure. There really is nothing like getting away from the mayhem and finding some quite time out in the countryside. Thanks John.
    Kind wishes, Gary.


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.