Tuesday, 13 April 2010
The Driving Test.
I must becoming more relaxed about driving. I'm started to overcome my fear that left me with some serious doubts about my ability to drive. The irony of having my other vehicle wiped out by an ambulance is finally beginning to fade.
Yes indeed, I'm getting that little bit more confident. The white knuckles on the steering wheel aren't quite so white. The stiffening in my shoulders and the tension in my legs; has, at long last, reduced in its intensity. Hell, it's reaching a stage where little flickers of 'road rage' have started to return. Yep, I'm getting pissed off with all those rude and inconsiderate drivers. 'Hey jerk, your indicator light not working!?' I mumble under my breath. 'Your horn works; try your lights!' I think to myself. 'Hey son? Did you see the way that idiot cut in front of me?' I exclaim to my rather bemused lad. Then I note the sticker on the car in front. 'I maybe slow but I'm ahead of you'.
Okay. Slight exaggeration about the 'road rage'. I've always taken pride that I endeavour to be a cool, calm and considerate motorist. So now I go on a journey. My first long drive since the day that ambulance customised the rear end of my other car. I'm heading off on my own to a place I've never been before. I'm crapping myself when I realise that I shall be on a motorway for the first time in nearly ten years. This is going to be one mighty challenge. A challenge; a journey that will help me reclaim my faltering self esteem.
I will drive slowly and cautiously. 'Hmmm..why is that vehicle behind me flashing their lights and beeping their horn? Whoops! My apologies tractor driver. Did you wish to overtake me?' Fair enough. Another slight stretching of the truth. Yet, I will be ever so careful. Once on the motorway; I shall stay in the slow lane behind that old fart towing a caravan. I wouldn't dare go in the fast lane and have some dude in a black BMW; so close to the back of my car, I can see how angry he is as he chats away illegally on his mobile phone. No chance of that. Stay behind the old fart towing a caravan.
I will make sure I've got plenty of music to listen too. Perhaps of bit of 'Gary Numan' singing, ' here in my car I'm the safest of all...' Maybe a bit of 'The Cars' singing, 'who's gonna' drive you home tonight..' Or, a touch of the 'Beach Boys', 'and we'll have fun, fun, fun, now that daddy took the T-bird away..'
Have you ever noticed that cars have 'faces'? My car, yes that's my car pictured; has a nice smiley face. A car with a very smiley face is the 'Austin Healey 'bugeye' Sprite'. A car with a rather puzzled look and a 'moustache'; is the old 'Karmann Ghia'. Then there's the 1965 'Citroen Ami'. It looks pretty sad bordering on tears flowing down its grill.
Well, look at me, if you dare. Note the sheer terror etched in the face of the old guy. 'Nice car; good car; we are going off on an adventure.' So I'm heading out on my own very personal driving test. It's a lot more than just me driving a car. It's about me challenging my other inner fears and doubts. Did I ever tell you that I have been driving since 1972? Yeah I know. I really should get some sleep....