Thursday, 9 July 2009

Positive About Being Negative?

There are people who are positive about being negative. I know what it's like to be so consumed with such a negative outlook, that any glimmer of positivity may appear to be some bizarre fantasy. A possibility only for others. Does it have to be that way?
I have met people so obsessed with their negative world, that anger, bitterness and resentment, to a perceived hostile society, dominates their very existence. I am aware that a series of disillusioning events in someone's life can make them feel that living is pointless. Does it have to be that way?
I realise that this is not a competition and I would never disregard the perceptions of a negative person. However, much of my life has been crap. I know what it is like to spend Christmas Day and my Birthday alone and isolated. Yet, instead of being angry, bitter and resentful, I, if anything, have become more determined, more resilient, to embrace a positive life.
With caution, and I hope diplomacy, I have challenged folks with their overwhelming negative attitude. I have attempted to illustrate the positive moments that have I have witnessed in their lives. Sadly, this seems to have been a mistake. Many negative people do not like being challenged. How dare I challenge their negativity. Perhaps it is because they feel safe in their uncomfortable comfort zone. Perhaps they need to be 'right' that the whole word hates them, and to sabotage such feelings, would jeopardise the self-imposed rut they are so determined to wallow in.
To all the negative people; I wish to inspire you. No matter what a perceived uncaring world throws at you, rise above those negative clouds that make you so sad. Search and never give up for those people who are good for you, and in turn, you are good for them. Believe me, you do have choices. Do not immerse yourself in the doom and gloom. Dare to embrace a better life.
Deep within you does indeed flicker a glow of positivity. Fan those flames and learn to experience the goodness that is within your reach.
I celebrate the blue skies and the sunshine in my life. The dark clouds and rain but fleeting moments. I am strong, I am resilient, determined to lead a positive life. Nobody will ever, ever again diminish my right to a happy life.
Self-fulfilling prophecy? Your own worst enemy? Negative speculation? Misfortune-telling? Negative inevitability? Anger, bitterness and resentment towards an unjust world destroying you? If you can say 'yes' to any of these questions; Is it not time to take a new, more heartwarming direction in your life?
If a few people have devalued you humanity; That is very sad. If a lot of people have devalued your humanity; That is even sadder. If everybody seems to devalue your humanity, perhaps you need to take a close look at yourself.
Having visited the dark and lonely place that lies at the end of negative road, I empathise with the plight of the tortured souls. Please know that if your life is lonely and desperate, I will do my utmost to understand and support you. Positive about being negative? How about, positive about being positive? With respect, I thank you for your time.


  1. The default for many is to be negative. Just look at the tabloids.

    It is easier to take a negative stance on things.

    Why? because to be negative implies a kind of protection. Protection is our first port of call.

    If you are positive about anything you have to reach out and accept things. Doing that makes you vulnerable. It requires courage that negativuty does not.

    Far easier to stay in that shell and the best justification for doing that is to convince yourself that what is outside is nasty.

    You, Gary, seem to have embraced that fact.

    I'm not sure that you can convince others.

    The conviction has to come from within.

    Do I make sense? I have a whisky next to me LOL.

  2. By 'embrace' I mean taking the positive approach.

    Damn that bloody whisky.

  3. Hi John,
    You make sense to me (whisky or otherwise):-)
    I really struggled finding the words to express what I was trying to say in this blog. I do know that being negative can be the much easier option that trying to 'embrace' (I did know how you meant it lol) a bit of positivity.
    Despite my own misgivings, at times, with going my out front door; I do challenge myself. I could sit here in front of my computer and dwell on how bad the outside world is. Instead, I do seek out positive people and resources. It is there, sometimes it takes a bit of searching.
    Negativity can be overwhelming and I do know, for sure, it aint easy to overcome the doom and gloom.
    Thanks for your input John and enjoy your bloody whisky lol:-)

  4. SO,being verbally abused ,and /or ignored ,is the easy way out?All i can do ,is reach out ,and try to find nonjudgemental people,the more knockbacks i get ,the worse it gets.And i do continue to try to seek out the right people[positive,empathetic people]Iam angry ,that people assume i am taking the easy way out[being used as a doormat]Ihave never tried harder in my life,and been met with apathy ,and blame,no doubt it is all my fault.praps suicide is the brave way out?this is disrespectful to me,i have no-one i trust [rightly so.

  5. Hi David,
    Thank you for your comment. As you know, my friend, I have always been here for you. I support and respect you. Indeed, you know I empathise with your ongoing dismay.
    For I too have been knocked back many times. Yet, the more knocks I have received, the more determined I become to find people and resources that are to the benefit of my own mental health well being.
    David, please continue to search for those who are not disrespectful to you. Those that undermine and treat you as a "doormat" should be distanced from.
    I can fully understand your lack of trust in others. I will not even attempt to convince you otherwise. All I ask is that you should never give up. David, any time you need to talk and would like support, for what it's worth, I shall continue to be here for you.
    With respect and peace, Gary.

  6. Wow, that's some blog Gary. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
    I am tolerant of some situations that are negative. They require more time to be resolved than originally anticipated.
    I am grateful to find people like you who share thoughts and experiences. Indeed you have been a big help to my 'needed program of awareness.' (As 'write blog' offers: 'the conviction has to come from within.") Still I would not have as near as much understanding if not for your time and support.
    Reaching our today is a blessing.
    Thanks for being one,

  7. HI Gary;
    As always, you are eloquent and well thought. It seems we are both on the same theme these days but I don't think it can be stressed enough that if you want a great envirnment, it all starts with yourself. Bring the good things to you. Often times we are chasing away what might be a wonderful opportunity because we are busy telling ourselves we don't deserve it. Keep on keeping on, my friend!!

  8. Hi Dixie,
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I know how you try to work through negative situations. Never giving up, finding strength and determination to work towards a more positive outcome.
    I have learnt much through you sharing your thoughts and experiences. I continue to learn, and your lessons to me in working through what can be perceived as daunting and overwhelming; Is inspiration, that no matter what negative 'curve balls' life throws our way, our resilience and determination to live happier, more positive lives, should be the goal we all strive for.
    Bless you and your positive interaction. Positive wishes, Gary:-)

  9. Hi Heather,
    "if you want a great environment, it all starts with yourself."
    My dear friend, how right you are. Those that would chase away the wonderful opportunities that present themselves because they believe they don't deserve it or are stuck in a negative self-destructive rut; Are missing the chance to be involved with positive people and resources.
    Heather, you are testimony to the power of remaining positive. The circumstances that have happened in your life, and the fact you, despite the trauma, have maintained such positive perserverence; is powerful inspiration to me and I'm sure to others.
    I have much to be grateful for. I am grateful that you are my friend.
    I send you the warmest of wishes, Gary:-)

  10. I must admit that I used to be positive about being negative but I have learned to accept and love myself for being me! I also learned to accept and love others for what they are. Yet I feel I still have to completely change for the better.

  11. Hi there Gary, just read your blog after me leaving my "When my Dad left" blog. Back then (20 or so years ago) I was bitter and I too was positive about being negative, as it felt so much bad had happened to me, but gradually I've changed the negative situations for more positive ones, lost the negative "friends" and/or their voices, and am hopeful. I'm now a glass half-ful person, although my past does still sometimes bite me on the bum, but am working on this too. Sometimes you have to be in the right place to hear things, wishing you positivity back xx

  12. Greetings Jun,
    Your comment in regards to acceptance sums up very nicely some of the points I was trying to allude too.
    It is very inspiring to note that you strive to be even better. That is such a healthy, positive outlook. Thanks Jun, I send you positive wishes. In peace, Gary:-)

  13. Dear Jewel,
    What a wonderful inspiration you are! To have challenged a negative environment and seek positive alternatives; demonstrates that we can work through the negativity and replace it with resources that are conducive to our well being. Trying to distance ourselves from the elements in our life that can, of course, sometimes still 'bite our bums', is a most healthy approach.
    Thank you very much for your interaction. Peaceful, positive wishes, your way, Gary :-)

  14. I just wanted to thank everyone for their contributions to this blog.
    I understand what a sensitive subject this is. So whether the response was positive or negative; the important aspect was that it gave people the opportunity to verbalise their feelings.
    Warm, positive wishes, Gary.

  15. Dear Gary,
    Thanks for having the balls to say it like it is. I know it is difficult for many people who experience depression, and as I have experienced it myself I know it is a debilitating disease and when we are in the throes of it, being told to "snap out of it" is perhaps not the best of advice.
    However, there does come a stage where we have to begin to take ownership of how we feel and how we are perceived and it seems to me there are only two ways to go- further into your own despair or a path towards a more positive existence (of which you are a great example, Gary).
    And I would just like to say that I don't say this lightly. After nearly twenty years of mental ill health and being diagnosed with everything from depression to bipolar to schizo-affective to, finally, schizophrenia, I dare say I have a right to say how I feel, just like you do.
    All I can say is perhaps you need to be in the right place and far enough on in your recovery to accept such a message. But to those who would disagree I would simply say that, in time, they may come to feel the same way. After all, what is the alternative?
    Yours with very Best Wishes,

  16. Dear David,
    Thanks for that. I was quite nervous about submitting this blog. I worried that someone might take offence when there was no offence intended.
    We both know how difficult and debilitating mental illness can be. There are no easy, 'quick-fix' solutions. However, like you rightly say: "what is the alternative?"
    My own personal recovery has taken a lot of hard work. I get disillusioned, I get down. Yet, I got tired of drowning in my negative bullshit. If something aint working, I try something else. If I have been bombarded by negative environments, I distance myself from what is no good for me.
    Like you David, I take responsibilty for my actions. There are indeed only two ways to go, be overwhelmed by negativity and, for that matter, our self-stigmatising, or we can have the fortitude to pursue a more positive life.
    Thanks for such an eloquent response, David. Warm wishes, Gary.

  17. Funny, I was thinking about the same lines of thoughts you have put up here so eloquently.

    Negativity breeds negativity, and the ability to see the negative, in a positive way, by turning the experience into something positive is a skill that takes life lessons upon life lessons for a person to learn. Some just trudge along
    in despair, others make real changes.

    Thank you for such an uplifting post, and I wish you peace and happiness.

    Smile :)

  18. Hi Shanaz,
    Would you believe me that I had a hunch that you were thinking about such lines of thought?
    Well I did, based on your thought you posted on a certain social network site.
    I thank you for commenting on this now archived blog. I think some people actually enjoy being negative. Their negative thinking confirms that the world is nothing but a bad place. Thus, they make it so.
    With peace and respect, your way, Gary :-)


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.