The other day my son mentioned that it had now been three years since he had any meaningful employment. I had no idea it had been that long. Three years of frustration, rejection, heartache and the inevitable tears from the ongoing fears.
I have seen a young man in the prime of his youth, lose the twinkle in his eye and the smile upon his face. Day after day of relentless despair. It takes every fibre of my being to see the light beyond the dark. I praise him and reassure him. I tell him it's not his fault. My son , my very sad son, who dreams the dream of what seems to be a fleeting dream, of moving on, of living his life, that lies beyond our front door.
His plight, his pain, is all consuming. I have been told to get on with my life and focus on what I want to do. Yet I will not be able to breathe again until I see the twinkle in his eye and the smile upon his face. When your child hurts, you hurt.
And what of his mother? She has started a new life with her new family. I so wish that all three of us could sit down, talk it through, mother and father, united in a common cause to be of as much support, as we possibly can, to a son who wishes to see a glimmer of hope. I have asked to meet up, discuss my growing concerns about our son. She refuses and the only communication she will have with me is via private messages on Facebook. And no, we are not Facebook friends. I don't care if she has an intense dislike for me. This is not about me or her. This is about our son and at times, I feel so all alone.
Of course, his situation is not unique. These are brutal times in a brutal economy, dictated by brutal men. And through it all, he is now considering applying to join the British navy. At first, this was considered a last resort. Now, despite my worries about him joining, we both see the opportunity to further his education and the rewards can be a young man who finally realises that beyond the dark clouds that surround his once cheerful demeanour, may just be that wonderful realisation that he is finally living his life.
Yes, it has been three years of tears and fears. Three long years of watching my son and myself, fall apart. I do feel alone, yet I'm not alone. Your ongoing support to this man and his son, are embraced with sincere and heartfelt gratitude. And thus, my friend, despite my tears, despite my fears, it's cheers to you.