Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Shirley You Gist.

Fair enough, maybe your name aint Shirley.   What this posting is going to demonstrate is how to get the gist of a posting.  That way, you can skim through the posting that is basically a waste of your time, pick out a key word or sentence and perhaps leave some kind of comment.   This would come in very handy if those who write those blogs that are just too damned long, highlighted key words or sentences, so we could glance though their on and on and on posting and give some vague, insincere comment.

So to help you, here goes.  Although, thankfully this posting will not be one of those too damned long postings.   'Prick up your ears' and pay attention.  Although, a 'prick up your ears', may seem like a rather painful proposition.   And yes, I've used that one before in a previous posting that wasn't worth reading, either.

Sir Galahad and Sir Lancelot walked into 'Yee Olde Inn'.  "My good innkeeper.  We require a room for two knights.", said Sir Lancelot.  "That is fine.  You can pay for your lodgings upon your departure." replied the innkeeper.  The next morning, Sir Galahad and Sir Lancelot, approached the innkeeper.  "My good man" said Sir Galahad, "we wish to pay for our lodgings."   Looking rather perplexed, the innkeeper responded, "Oh, I thought you wanted a room for two nights?"   And yes, I've used that in a previous posting that wasn't worth reading, either.

Here's another repeat and one that has also brought great delight on Farcebook, everyone's favourite social notworking site.   So this dude tells me his hobby is 'racing pigeons'.   I asked him,  "Who usually wins?  You or the pigeon?"   I have yet to sell my Marcel Marceau CD.

Of course, my blog never resorts to crude writing.  This mean the following words must have happened in a moment of weakness.  Evidently, the band Dire Straits are teaming up with that singer, guitarist, Chris Rea.   The name of the band will be called 'Dire Rea' and they will be doing versions of 'Sultans of Shit' and Chris Rea's best known song, 'Road to Smell'.   Of course, if you are not familiar with those preceding recording artists,  none of this would of made any scents, I mean, sense...
I'm good at totalling numbers....'I hasten to add.'  'Conclusions, conclusions....' if I could jump over those two words,  I would be 'jumping two conclusions.'

You may well of done the right thing and skipped all the way down to this photo.  You could then forget about all the rest of the article and leave a comment such as,  "Neat photo.  Looks like Penny the Jack Russell  dog and modest internet star, is staring at one of her adoring fans!"

So there you go Shirley, or whatever the heck your name is.  You can get the gist of the posting by keying in on the highlighted words.   And with that, this posting not worth your time to read....will abruptly end!


  1. reminded me of the four candles sketch....great blog - following

  2. Gary, your postings are always worth reading..are you getting a wee bit of an inferiority complex because of Penny's pawsome postings?

  3. Hi G,
    I've seen you out in blogland. I shall come and have a further look at your site :) Thanks for the 'following'.
    Ah yes, 'The Two Ronnies' and perhaps some 'fork handles' :)
    Take care and happy writing, Gary

  4. Delores,
    How did you know? Penny's pawetic prose and pawfect pawstings have turned me into a mere human seething with jealousy over her fame! lol?

  5. Thanks for sharing. (That's how you leave a comment without reading anything at all.)

  6. Ah Grumpy Type Bulldog,
    Thanks for sharing your comment..Which reminds me, time to come over and not really read one of your postings...

  7. Like I said before, I like to read more than I like to write. When I first started blogging, my grandkids' welfare was on my mind. Now I rarely write about kids. Alos my blogs are short most of the time. It is when I am not able to get my point across that my blog may turn out to be a lengthy one.

  8. Hi Munir,
    And I write for therapy and try to use it as a positive resource in my rather confusing and reclusive world.
    Thank you for your thoughtful comment and may you have a peaceful, positive day.
    With respect, Gary

  9. I don't no two manly buggers woo can right nuttin and still move me. I was groomed to be board by your pros. Its light stairing at the sealing and realiesing that if I could nare spell, it wood not mat much.

    Yes, that's the extend of me trying to be cute and funny. I can't always do both, but i try. I must be tired because I'm done, or overdone, like a steak, except not cooked.

    Hope is like a barrel of monkeys slipping through Stanley Park in a rainstorm. Loud.

  10. Um hello Joylene,
    Bet your spell check just had a nightmare....I like your combo of writing like a New Yorker and a Scottish person.
    Actually, your grandma, sorry, grammar anarchy, is most impressive n' stuff.
    And speaking of steak, I forgot to mention that other famous knight, the legendary 'Sir Loin'. Your writing about steaks has a rare quality to it.
    Hope is like sticking you head in the cannon at Stanley Park at nine P.M.
    Kind wishes and a Roberto Luongo poster, your way, Gary :)

  11. Hi Gary,
    I'm laughing because I love to jump to conclusions! I pricked up my ears at the mention of pigeons and now my earrings no longer fit. Any suggestions on how to get the gist of a nonsense comment? Shirley, you can help!

  12. Yay it's THE SNEE,
    I SNEE what you're sayin'..and I would never suggest that what you wrote had any hint of um. 'Dire Rea'. I Shirley thank you for leaving such a neato comment. Can I interest you in a Marcel Marceau CD?
    Thanks Rebecca. I gist about figured out your comment....

  13. Yay Canucks!!!

    (smiling loudly)

  14. Dear Gary,
    I didn't read your post, but, my gosh, you're so funny, Gary!
    And, as Grumpy Bulldog says above, thanks for sharing. Or not, as the case may be.
    Very Best Wishes, and many short blogs with highlighted key words, your way,

  15. THAT's how you leave a comment indicating you never bothered to read the darn post! Ugh. I have to say, I'm mesmerized by the word play both you and Jolene are such masters of! Can't comment about Dire Rea, just not knowledgeable about them. But I do love the new name you've given them!
    ...and about the picture. Couldn't help noticing as I was READING THROUGH your post. CindyLu spotted Penny - and sends a Hi-Paw her way:)
    Take care of your sarcastic, word-twisting self, and keep up your writing. It's beneficial to us as much or even more than to you!
    Wishing you contentment and peace - Kim and CindyLu xx

  16. You had me at "Prick up your...."

  17. Hello Gary:
    Perhaps you have hit upon a novel approach to blogging here. First, people leave deep and meaningful comments and then one writes a post, either about the deep and meaningful comments or about nothing in particular or about something else, equally deep and meaningful but nothing whatsoever to do with the comments. And, at this point, we shall wish you and Penny a good day!!

    P.S. Great photo!

  18. LOL. It took a good few minutes to work out the joke about the 2 knights. I wonder what they got up too!

    And I read through the whole post.


  19. So what was your posting about!? LOL! Awwww but that's not Penny! Is it?!?!

    Take care

  20. hi mr gary! neat phot of penny and one of her fans. ha ha. for sure when i come here i read all your blog cause you make me smile lots.
    ...hugs from lenny and a pat for penny the JRD&MIS. :)

  21. Eh Joylene.
    Go Canucks Go !!!

    For smiling out loud :)

  22. Dear David,
    Thanks David and I didn't read your comment.
    Kind wishes and a 'Dire Rea' CD, your way, Gary.........

  23. Howdy Kim,
    Ah yes, "Great post!" or as my latest adoring fan "Grumpy Bulldog. Media 'Moggie' " so brilliantly observed, "Thanks for sharing."
    Ah yes, Joylene is a treasure. In fact, she is so admired that Dolly Parton sang a song about her, 'Joylene..Joylene..'
    Dire might remember that song with the lyrics, "I want my MTV.." And Chris Rea is probably better known in Britain.
    Evidently, Dire Rea 'runs' in the family...
    Sarcastic and cynical, that's me :) Seriously, yes seriously, sometimes I need to try and attempt a bit of surreal writing. Take my mind off some troubling times by using writing as a most therapeutic resource. If my zaniness, which really is tongue-in-cheek, is somehow beneficial to you, then my real purpose has been achieved. Thank you :)
    With peace and positive wishes, your way, Gary and of course, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star xx

  24. Hi middle child,

    "You had me at "Prick up your...."

    Wow, now there's visual :)

  25. Hello Jane and Lance,
    A 'novel' approach. Indeed, I might even write a novel about the "deep and meaningful" comments that I get on my best to be avoided, waste of time, boring, sometimes drawn out gibberish that is obviously my way of drawing attention to myself when I really do not deserve any recognition at all and should really learn to not write run on sentences that will invariably lead you, me and the curious hedgehog that has decided that it is still winter after all and thus has gone back to hibernation, into even more profound confusion.
    Good to note that your comment has little to do with much of anything in particular. However, I reckon it was deep and meaningful.
    And I'm still am in awe as to how you two, can like stick up a photo of a roundabout in Milton Keynes and like get a zillion comments. How does that work?
    Anyway, wishing the both of you and your typing pool, a jolly good day!!

    P.S. Great comment!

  26. Hi Nas,
    Nice 'two' see you :) Evidently they got up two go to 'yee olde outhouse' in the middle of the knight, I mean, night LOL
    Glad you read the hole, I mean, whole post. I have no idea what I wrote. Probably my usual crap.
    Take care, my friend.
    Gary :)

  27. Ah Old Kitty,
    Sorry? What was your comment about?
    That is Penny. The cat staring at her is one of her millions of fans. Did you know that Charlie sometimes uses your computer and has an online chat with Penny?
    All the beast, I mean, best, to you, Gary and Penny

  28. Hi Teresa,

    "Who's Shirley ;-)"

    A good friend of Teresa. Shirley, you must remember her :)

  29. Hey Lenny!
    Awe, thanks young dude :) Penny thinks you are well cool and so do I.
    I'm glad my blog makes you smile :) That's what it's all about. Hugs and smiles, your way, Mr. Gary and Penny TJRDAMIS! Arf! Arf! :)

  30. I always trim the length of my posts because people have very short attention spans these days!
    Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

  31. Ah bazza,
    Sorry, your comment was too long. You lost me at, "I"

  32. too funny! I groaned out loud more than once!!! :)

  33. Now, Gary, I'm curious: What is it that gave rise to this particular post? I am particularly concerned that you haven't yet been able to sell your Marcel Marceau CD. I wonder, if it were paired with John Cage's 4'33" whether it would do better out in the market place . . .

    And now, as some in other quarters say, when they've written something particularly dim . . .

    gets coat.

  34. Hi Jemi,
    Yes, we heard you groan out loud. We did and most of northern Ontario :)

  35. Hi Susan,
    You know me and my occasional cynical posting. Fairly soon, you might note that I'm not too enamoured with those blogging challenges.
    You make an excellent point and in silence, I think it should be paired with John Cage's, 4'33".
    Very nice coat you are wearing....

  36. I'm sorry. All I saw in your latest offering were the words 'prick' and 'pigeons' and 'nights'. And so, because that's all I saw, that must be what your entire post was about, of course. People putting pricks into pigeons during the night.

    Vague, insincere comments, you say? People actually do that on a blogger's post? Gosh, I've never heard of such an incident! And I mean that insincerely.

    I enjoyed your joke.

    And your second one. But please, you're killing me and busting my gut here. Don't wanna do that now. All you'll find is 'Dire Rea'. Wait. That's not right. That's what you'll find dripping from my taint and butthole. I should apologize for that previous grievous error, I suppose. Would anyone care for some homemade turtle soup?

    Neat photo. Looks like Penny the Jack... I would go on with the rest but what's the point? Certainly not that people often times don't read a post that you put a certain amount of effort and time into- only to be given a pathetic comment or stupid link to their site.

    Sincerely, good post, dude.

  37. Neat photo looks like Penny the ...

    Sorry, but someone had to do it and I thought it might as well be me.

  38. Hi Kelly,
    You were worryingly close to the truth. Actually, the posting, which wasn't worth reading, was all about poking pigeons in the night. As opposed to poking random folks on your favourite social notworking site, Farcebook, or as you so affectionately call it, 'Fartbook'.
    Vague, insincere comments on sites is a darned good way to hopefully have folks click on your icon and go visit your blog. Best to leave a vague, insincere comment on a 'popular' blogger's site. That way, a lot more folks may note your comment on the 'popular' blogger's site and may be left in awe at your vague, insincere comment.
    There was a 'joke' on my posting? No way. I do variety and could not of possibly left a joke on my site. Must leave the jokes to the um 'comedy' bloggers....
    I had a hunch that your gosh darn devilish side would of keyed in on the thought of some 'Dire Rea'. And in the tradition of your good self, you have kindly gone into graphic detail, the drippings and tricklings that ooze down your legs....Gee Kelly, thanks for sharing :)
    Yes, a neat photo and would have been a great focal point for those who would be visiting only to promote their 'wonderful' blogs.
    I was going to read your comment but decided not to bother....
    Thanks and of course, my posting was subtle in its cynicism. I know you will not be as subtle as me on your must read site. Oops, a plug for Psycho Carnival! :)

  39. Hi Patsy,
    And thank you. And I'm even more impressed that you only left a partial response about the photo...:)
    So, no need to apologise. Thanks for sharing and great comment!

  40. Hahaha... and then some, good sir. Love the reply comment back. I'm very much in agreement with your cynical, yet very truthful, thoughts on the subject here. And you're welcome about those dripping details. I would say I aim to please, but actually, I aim to get all the goop into her pie hole. ;)

    gobble gobble

    Quite nice of you to accidentally plug my site, you ol' softee.

    And you're right... very right about that last part you mentioned in your reply comment. There will be a clear absence of subtlety. But maybe a little "tee hee hee" thrown into the mix. Depends on my mood at the time. Take care, my friend.

  41. There's not much i can add here to the already plethitude of insincere comments already made other than if a post's well written and keeps the reader's attention than it shoudn't matter how long or short it is, as yours always do Gary....(cough cough!) Okay so i'm just hankering after a comment on my latest post :)x

  42. So you're the one putting in the plug for Penny's writings. Looks like it makes her, the cat's meow. Watch those nasty claws, wouldn't want Penny to catch, "cat scratch fever."

  43. Hi Kelly,
    Sorry n'stuff for the delay in my eagerly awaited reply to your reply. You know how it is for us 'popular' bloggers. Had to go and blatantly self-promote myself. Nah, no way...
    Indeed, my subtle cynicism does have an underlying truth. Something, you my esteemed colleague, most certainly understand.
    I wish to thank you for further graphic updates that have left me feeling nauseous, yet strangely euphoric :)
    I'm happy to plug your site. When it comes to plugging your butt, I shall leave that to those who can get to the bottom of it....n'stuff :)
    I'm sure that when you potentially post about this fascinating and gripping topic, you, my sometimes crude friend, will leave little to the imagination. No doubt you will try to mix in a bit of humour, sorry, in American, 'humor', into your, what will be, much anticipated and much read, posting.
    Look after yourself and your loved ones, Kelly.
    With respect and a butt plug, your way, Gary

  44. Hi GEM,
    Ah yes, it aint the length, it's how you impress from the beginning. Oops, of course, I'm referring to the length of a post. Oops, maybe that doesn't sound right either :)
    Seriously, if something gets your attention from the start and holds your attention, all the way through, then length isn't such an issue. Or something like that :)
    I appreciate your comment which I didn't really bother to read...
    Of course, to your immense thrill, I have now left a comment on your latest superb article on your blog that I think merits a lot more attention than it gets.
    Cheers, Gary :)

  45. Greetings Dixie,
    Penny doesn't need any help from me in regards to her pawsitively pawfect prose :) The cat staring at her is one of Penny's biggest admirers. Ah, the life of a famous dog. If only the puppyarazzi would give her a moments peace :)
    Merci beaucoup

  46. This post made me lmao. Wait, what was it all about again? I'm just trying to keep up with the Kardashians here in blogland. ;-)

    Follow me!!

  47. Hi LilPixi,
    What posting? I did a post? lol
    Who the heck are the Kardashians? A new alien race in a new Star Trek movie?

    "Follow me!!"

    Okay, shall go and check out your link and 'follow' :)

  48. This was very funny, thanks. I needed a giggle before bedtime, after spending three hours in a dentist chair today.

  49. Hi River.
    I'm very pleased you thought this posting was funny. Thank you. Oh my, three hours in a dentist chair. Not exactly a fun time :)
    Kind wishes, your way, Gary

  50. That was brilliant. I snorted water up my nose and got a popcorn hull in my lungs. Not to brag or anything, but I think that maybe some people didn't catch each and every genius pun, but I'm not trying to degrade your legion of readers. Just enjoying a very funny post, that tickles my funny bone in just the right places :-)

    Tina @ Life is Good
    Co-Host of the April A to Z Challenge
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z #atozchallenge

    1. Yay Tina!
      Hey thanks for actually reading this posting. You've broken the rules of leaving a vague, insincere comment :) I leave all sorts of underlying meanings and stuff to hopefully bring on a bit of 'pundemonium'. Sadly, being a variety blogger, I can but dream that my alleged attempts at something bordering on funny could ever compete with those, *cough, cough*, 'comedy' bloggers.
      However, I'm delighted that you found this posting to be funny. And now, it's almost time for your "April A to Z Challenge". You know Tina, seems rather fitting it starts on April Fools Day :) Thank you for commenting on this now archived posting. Remember, try not to do any postings in the challenge that are too damned long. I shall be checking :) Oops, I think my reply comment is too damned long and thus, I will suddenly STOP!

  51. LOL... I just read Grumpy Bulldogs comment on how to leave a comment and read nothing at all. I think some have left a comment like that on my blog before. Lots in fact.

    1. Hi Terry,

      Great comment! Thanks for sharing! Seriously, thank you for commenting on this archived posting. I follow your blog. LOL


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.