Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Aisle Be There.....Eventually!
Welcome to 2012. And just when I'd got myself familiarised with where everything was in the store in 2011, the store decides to have a bit of a laugh.
Do you know what I mean? I go into the store and head straight down the cereal aisle only to discover that the boxes of cereal have vanished and have been replaced with various brands of dog and cat food. Suddenly, I wonder if I've entered a parallel universe, an alternate reality, or maybe entered the wrong store.
And so, visualise this, I wandered aimlessly around the store, terrified that I would go from aisle to aisle and not find the "Special K" or the drastically reduced packets of "Pop Tarts". What if I ended up an aisle expecting to find the breakfast items only to realise that I was in the middle of the ladies undies section? What if I ended going down the wrong aisle and shudder, discovered I had become married?
So why do they do this? Why the urge to rearrange the shop that had become so familiar? To keep us alert? No, me thinks it may well be a ploy to get us so confused that we impulse buy and end up with not only a lot of exercise, but a lot of extra junk we didn't really want. Not surprisingly, the milk is in its usual location and that would be at the back of the store.
Now then, you may well ask, 'Gary, for goodness sakes man! Why didn't you just ask a friendly shop attendant where the cereal was now located?' And well you may ask. Okay, time to stereotype us dudes. Dudes asking for directions? You must be joking. Heck, get lost driving around a strange town without a map or a Sat Nav and do you think we are going to ask for directions? Heck no. I mean I'm sure the place we want to go is just around the next corner...
After much strolling about in the store making out like I knew what I was doing, I found the cereal. Time to go to the checkout, a minute before closing and pay for the Special K, the drastically reduced packets of Pop Tarts, various brands of dog and cat food and um.....some ladies undies....and help!.... A marriage certificate!.....