Thursday, 12 January 2012

Tart To Tart.

Definition of tart :
1:  Having a sharp and rather sour taste.
2:  Sharp or bitter in tone or meaning.
3:  A pastry case, especially one without a top, with a sweet or savoury filling.
4:  A promiscuous woman.  The often unisexual nature of modern slang ensures that the meaning of 'tart' in this context can also be applied to promiscuous males.   There are variations to this, such as 'tarted up', which basically means getting dressed up in a potentially garish way.   Y'all might call, tarted up, 'dolled up'.

This posting is in reference to definition number 3.

The above photograph is of a Bakewell Tart.   Bakewell is a town in Derbyshire, set right in the heart of the Peak District National Park.   Here's some information on Bakewell :  Bakewell, Derbyshire.   Here's one recipe for a Bakewell Tart : Bakewell Tarts.    Just to confuse you, you will note there are many different ways to make a Bakewell Tart.
Bakewell is about twenty five miles north east of where I live.   Yes, I really do live in a town named Leek.  I'm thinking of driving to Bakewell in search of a classic Bakewell Tart.   Oh and I am referring to the pastry item.

Here's a video of Bakewell.  

Now to finish this posting by dazzling you with songs about tarts.  'How Can You Mend A Broken Tart?', 'Your Cheatin' Tart', 'Don't Go Breakin' My Tart', 'Unbreak My Tart', 'Achy Breaky Tart', 'Put A Little Love In Your Tart' and my favourite, 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Tarts Club Band.

There you go.  You see, my tart's in the right place.  Bakewell is a very old town.  And being the home of the legendary Bakewell Tart, I shall go there in search of some ancient 'tarty facts'.


  1. And there follows, "Piece of my tart", "My tart has a mind of its own", "I left my tart in San Francisco", "The tart is a lonely hunter", and "Only love can break your tart."
    That Bakewell Tart looks yummy!!

  2. Hey Laura,
    And you note I deliberately left loads of songs with um..'tart' out so hopefully others would come up with their own. Great tart tunes and thanks for that. I reckon we should stay away from Blondie's 'Tart Of Glass'.
    Kind wishes and a Bakewell Tart, your way, Gary :)

  3. Not to be left out: Tart Full of Soul, You Took My Tart, Pop! Goes My Tart and, last but not least, Put a Little Love in Your Tart.

  4. Hey Delores,
    I can say, hand on tart, that I appreciate your additional contributions to the tart titled songs. Although you might notice that I already used, 'Put A Little Love In Your Tart' :)
    Kind wishes and tartfelt thanks, your way, Gary...

  5. Gary,
    You've really (s)tarted something.
    The telltale tart

    Tarts in Atlantis
    Anyone who had a tart
    Tart of gold
    Be careful with my tart
    Straight from the tart
    My tart will go on
    My tart is in the highlands
    Tart like a wheel
    My tart belongs to daddy
    Stop draggin my tart around
    Cold cold tart

    This could keep me up all night.
    Kind tarts and coronets to you,
    Laura ;)

  6. Oh, dear...I'm not even going to try. I sense I'm among the masters here, not least of which, you, Gary. I might note, though, that it seems if you do visit Bakewell, you may wish to stay, not just visit. At least that seems to be their intention there. I'll have one of those tarts, please!

  7. Dear Gary,
    I actually visited Bakewell with the Pathways Group, and while there, found out that there are also Bakewell Puddings, which are similar to the tarts, just, if I remember rightly, older in their orgin.
    So, if you do go, make sure you try a pudding, as well as one of the local tarts. No, that's not what I meant, Gary!
    Very Best Wishes,

  8. I fancy a Bakewell tart now! But through my peckishness I found Somewhere In My Tart and Don't Chain My Tart. Where's Mr Kipling when you need him? ;-) x

  9. I love Bakewell Tarts especially Mr Kiplin's but I can't stand the plastic tasting glazed cherries they insist putting on top! I'm sure noone actually eats you?

    Maybe there should be a YV programme set in Bakewell about love and life set in could be called "Tartbeat"!

    Take care


  10. One of my most favourite tv programmes: Tart to Tart!

    LOL! OH ok I know, feeble!!

    Take care

  11. Hey, have you mastered driving on the left side by now? Just wondering, in case you do drive to Bakewell (with a name like that, how could they not have great pastry?!). I'm not sure I could ever do it!

  12. She's a wild and luscious thing.
    Sweet berries look so smart.
    They bring her from the oven,
    then I sing about my tart.

    I'm licking every finger,
    and it's tearing me apart.
    The end is coming nearer.
    I'll bemoan my empty tart.

    Yum, Dixie

  13. Hey Austan,
    Isn't this fun?
    I was really hoping folks would use their imagination on this. Laura, your brilliant additions are greatly appreciated.
    This is really is a case of 'Tarts For Tart's Sake' by 'Tart CC' :)
    I wonder 'What Becomes Of The Broken Tarted'?
    Kind wishes and 'Two Tarts', your way, Gary :)

  14. Hey Kim,
    Oh dear, indeed. Where do we tart, I mean start? :)
    There are some "masters" here who have left comments so good that they left me with 'pie in the face'.
    The good people of Bakewell would love me to stay. I might even open my very own 'Tart Shop' :)
    Kind wishes and a Bakewell Tart, your way, Gary

  15. Dear David,
    You're pudding me on. I have also been to Bakewell and I am very aware of the Bakewell Puddings. When I was checking out Bakewell Tarts, I noted all the different varieties of tarts and puddings that go under the name, Bakewell. Rather confusing and that really takes the cake.
    Next time I go, I will most certainly have a pudding and sample a local tart or two. Heck, I might even visit the bakery.
    Best wishes and a fart, sorry, a tart, as in a bakery item, your way, Gary

  16. Hi Teresa,
    Okay, nice to know you fancy a Bakewell Tart. Moving swiftly on...:)
    You left a couple of 'exceedingly good' song choices! :)

  17. Hi GEM,
    Me too, I love Bakewell Tarts, although the ones from Bakewell, I think, taste the best. Actually, I've been known to eat the glazed cherry on a tart. And resisting any innuendo, I move on :)
    What a superb idea for the title of a sixties show set in Bakewell. Heck one of actors in the show could create a Bakewell Tart with a 'Nick Berry' in it..
    I reckon you may like the spin-off show, 'Wild at Tart' :)
    Look after yourself and stay warm.
    In kindness and a Mr. Kipling's Tart, your way, Gary

  18. Yay Old Kitty,
    Not feeble at all. Well, I would say that because the title of the posting was hinting that very show :)
    And speaking of 'Tart to Tart', you may well know that one of the stars of that show, Stefanie Powers, was on that 'reality' show, 'I'm a Celebtarty, Get Me Outta' Here!'
    Now that was feeble!
    All the best to you and Charlie.

  19. Hi Chris,
    What? They drive on the left side of the road over here? Thanks, that explains a lot :)
    Very good point, in Bakewell, they bake well :)
    And now I must remember to get in the correct side of my car...

  20. Hey Dixie,
    Thank you very kindly
    For such a tartfelt rhyme
    With every little tartbeat
    Your poetry is sublime

    In kindness and an English tart, your way, Gary :)

  21. New Years Dieters don't need pictures of bakewell tarts. Looks scrummy.

    Hope you are well Gary and that Penny the wonder dog is doing well :0)

  22. Now, I have worked to get any repeats out, but can't be sure. Here goes:

    Dear Lonely Tarts (Nat King Cole)
    Tart and Soul (Cleftones)
    Tartbreak Hotel (Elvis Presley)
    If I Could Give My Tart to You (Doris Day)
    My Tart Belongs to Me (Barbra Streisand)
    She’s a Tartbreaker (Gene Pitney)
    This Old Tart of Mine (Isley Brothers)
    Unchain My Tart (Ray Charles)

    And, on the classical music side, there is, of course, None But the Lonely Tart (Tchaikovsky)

    Be still, my tart . . .

  23. That Bakewell Tart looks pretty darn tasty, Gary, my ol' pal... Not to mention sweeeeeet. You have tempted me with this mighty fine looking pastry treat, in fact. Unfortunately, it would probably raise my already extreme blood sugar level so high, after consuming it, that I'd shake like a nuclear-powered vibrator until I convulse, rattle and roll into a dire diabetic coma. My God, man! What are you tryin' to do? Kill me?!!

    Seriously, though, that video of the town of Bakewell really showed off it's beauty and quaintness. The people there appeared friendly, too. Speaking of getting friendly and maybe looking for love, I think you should go there in search of a very special lady friend for some cozy funtime. It would be a "GOOD TART". Get it? Get it?

    Ah- Hahahahahahahaha. I kill me. Great post, dude. You've didn't overcook it this time.

  24. Bakewell tart is seriously scrummy! Now you've made me hungry ;-)

  25. Bakewell seems like a quaint little town. Wappingers Falls NY used to look like that until they brought some chain stores there.

    You certainly have your "tarts" in place.

    Also yesterday I learned a new "tart" word. It is a huge plastic sheet our eighty one year old friend used to cover hay before the snow or even rain comes so it stays dry.
    Take care.

  26. Hi Mrs Midnite,
    Fair point. A picture of a Bakewell Tartlet can seem irresistible.
    Somebody said to me, 'Gary, you should 'diet'! I replied, 'What colour?' Get it?
    All is well here, thank you. Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, sends you doggy kisses xx
    Here's wishing that 2012 is a most positive time for you and your loved ones :)

  27. Hi Susan,
    Nice one and from what I can see, all new ones, complete with the um recording 'tartists' :) And in the spirit of classical music, how could we forget Giuseppe Tartini and his 'Devil's 'Tart' Sonata' :)
    In kindness and a ticket to the 'Tart Modern' Gallery, your way, Gary

  28. Howdy Kelly,
    Probably not exactly the best tasty tarty treat for you. Oh yes, I've heard you are rather partial to a
    "a nuclear-powered vibrator". However we shall not let the dudes with the Geiger counters find out about your fetish :)
    Seriously, yes seriously, you could always have the sugar-free version of the 'Tart'.
    And now for some more 'serious' stuff. It is certainly a beautiful and quaint little town. And the locals seem really nifty neato.
    I have lots of very special lady friends in Bakewell. So much so that they have been phoning me up and begging me to visit. They are going to have a parade in my honour. Or were they going to tie me up in the town square and throw rotting vegetables at me. Well, it's one of the two. A good start, no matter what.
    I didn't overcook it. I guess I can 'Bakewell' after all. You get it? Gosh n' stuff.
    Must go now and have a right good, silent but deadly, 'tart' :)

  29. Hi Kate,
    Bakewell Tarts are very nice, indeed :)
    Kind wishes and a truckload of Bakewell Tarts, your way, Gary :)

  30. Hi Munir,
    Bakewell and many of the surrounding towns in the Peak District, are very quaint. I hope the chain stores do not take away the laid back ambience of such places.
    I do like to think my 'tart's' in the right place :)
    That's a new usage of the word on me. Almost sounds like 'tartpaulin'...
    Have a lovely weekend and you take care.

  31. Hi Gary. I think every pun has already been used and this post has even inspired lovely poetry!
    But I'd thought I'd say hello anyway.
    Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

  32. Mr Kipling does bakewell tarts in slices - 6 for £1 in a box from Asda at the moment :0) (And I wonder why I'm fat).


  33. Hi bazza,
    For sure, just about every pun has been used. Nothing like a bit of pastry poetry.
    I shall now go have a Bakewell Tart and a couple of 'puncakes', with maple syrup, of course, eh:)
    *Hello* to you, my illustrious friend.

  34. Hi Suzanne,
    Those Bakewell Tarts seems "exceedingly good" :) I must dash of to Morrisons and compare prices.
    Suzanne, you are looking good.

  35. Hi Gary .. love Bakewell tarts - and the real thing too .. delicious!

    When I was organising our summer squash league - for some squash and lot of get togethers with rather a lot of partying quite often! We had sufficient to have 12 teams + reserves - big club in Jhb .. and I used to call the teams with different names each year .. the year of the tarts came into the cocktail snack teams .. olives, sausages, etc .. Guess which team I ended up in - the tarts! Yes everyone was ranked .. and that's what happened -

    Love the bakewell picture - I have one small slice of Christmas cake left with icing and marzipan - I'm going to enjoy that later on!

    Cheers Hilary

  36. Hi Hilary,
    Nothing like a real Bakewell tart as in the pastry item.
    Now then, your "summer squash league" would that league pertain to, Any of various tendril-bearing plants of the genus Cucurbita, having fleshy edible fruit with a leathery rind and unisexual flowers.
    To beat, squeeze, or press into a pulp or a flattened mass; crush.
    A citrus-based soft drink.
    Or would the league relate to this,
    A racket game played in a closed walled court with a rubber ball.
    Sorry, of course I knew what you meant. Interesting to know you ended up being on the 'tart team'. You could always have a glass of squash after playing squash :) Sometimes squash can have a bit of a tarty flavour. Yes, squash, as in the fruit juice.
    I hoped you enjoyed that small slice of Christmas cake.
    Cheers and happy writing.

  37. Hi Gary .. well now my summer squash .. I'd include "beat, squeeze, or press into a pulp or a flattened mass; crush" .. any man that was around - especially on the thing they call a court!! Gosh .. no - just some vino .. lots of laughs .. and yes I did finish the Christmas cake off - and it was delicious.

    So fun was had by all .. an American .. said - well Hilary is leaving .. so the world stops!!?? Not quite right - but the Club closed at the same time and they had to find another club - huge pity - as we had a great crowd from the Chamber of Mines and ancillary businesses ..

    Such is life .. I'll happily have a Bakewell tart now! Cheers Hilary

  38. Hi Hilary,
    I'm getting the impression that you are um rather competitive. The only squash I'm used to is what happens to the mud under my feet. Oh heck, maybe that's squish!
    There was an American. Gosh y'all..let's play some of that there squash, y'all! :)
    Sorry about you having to find another club. Now when you mention, 'club', you mean, An association dedicated to a particular interest or activity.
    A heavy stick with a thick end, esp. one used as a weapon....I'm kidding....
    Glad you enjoyed your remaining Christmas cake. And now you contemplate having a tart. Bakewell tart, of course :)
    Cheers, Gary

  39. Love this post! Thank you for coming to my blog and your kind comments. I don't think I can compete with the other song titles - broken tarted about that - but I'll follow you too! :D

  40. Hey Jenny,
    Thank you very much. Very kind of you. And it was my pleasure to leave a comment on your terrific blog :)
    Ah yes, hand on tart, I reckon we have just about exhausted those songs of the tart :)
    Take care and enjoy your weekend.

  41. Hi Gary,

    I see that great tarts think alike. You definitely have a way with words that make me smile, Gary.

    I'm greatly cheered by the Bakewell Tart, and I'm deliciously fulfilled by the tarty music and poetry of everyone here. I've been away too long, and have a lot of reading to catch up on. I will keep checking in. As I told Penny, I've missed you!

  42. Hi THE SNEE,
    Thank you for tarting the time to comment. We both like a bit of word play and it makes one want to 'take another little piece of my tart now baby...'
    It was fantartstic that so many folks came up with so many tarty songs and poetry.
    Rebecca, Penny and I are really pleased to see you around.
    Have a lovely weekend.

  43. Haha! Love the song titles. We get Bakewell bread here, even Lebanese pita bread. I love the brand and buy it all the time. Have a great weekend, Gary! :)

    1. Hey Lexa,

      That was really nice of you to comment on this archived post. Ah, those were the days when I actually did a blog.

      Glad you loved the song titles. You have quite the variety of breads. I've never heard of Bakewell bread, dough!

      Hope you had a nice previous weekend and a fun weekend coming up.

      Gary :)


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.