Friday, 12 February 2010

Love For The Lonely.

Valentine's Day can be a poignant occasion.  Those who are in love can embrace the day with joyous celebration.  For those who have loved; it can be a day of longing reflection.  For those who have never felt love, the lonely; it can be a day of great sadness and despair.
I am blessed with knowledge that once I was loved.  Yet, I ache with pain. Pain from the recollection of what the relentless onslaught of my illness, my mental illness, did to the very foundations of my fragile ego.  Illness stole my love and turned me into an apathetic spectator, barely aware of the simple wonders of life.  I lived in a fog and the insidious nature of  that fog, that terrifying fog, enshrouded me in a life devoid of love.
Somehow , with my last ounce of strength; I gazed through my fog, found a moment of clarity and discovered the fading remnants of hope and self-respect.  I challenged myself and the negative environment that had nearly destroyed me.  I set myself free.  No longer would I be shackled by the chains of my illness.  I had come to the profound realisation that I had choices and I chose to understand that my mental health concerns would no longer dictate my right to a peaceful, happy life.
Those who have love must savour every precious moment.  Those who have love, must never be too busy to take such a fragile yet powerful commodity for granted.  Those who have been loved can learn to love again.
Some will walk hand in hand and gaze into each others eyes.  Some will recall lost love.  Some will wonder if love will ever come into their lives.
So now, as Valentine's Day approaches; let us spare a thought for those who have never been in a loving relationship.  Love for the lonely and a more caring, compassionate world for us all.


  1. I agree with you. We shouldn't forget the lonely that are around us -family members, friends and anyone in need of thoughtful words and actions. Anything to show that there is compassion and love in this world.

    And I do very well know what you are talking about, concerning the fog and chains of depression. I was diagnosed with Major Depression five years ago and struggled with it until I fought my way out. It was either that or die -it was destroying my health, too.

    Good post.

  2. This is wonderful. I don't know what to say or how to respond. I'm overwhelmed by the condition of your heart. I have a long way to go but nothing is impossible. I encourage you to keep doing what you are doing. There are a lot of broken people in the world that can use your blog, no wonder it’s feature on that radio sta. Any tionway to get your blog out there to the public is worth it. Because they really need to hear what you have to say.

  3. Wonderful post. Loved it. Love binds all of us together. Love is something that can be shown all the time and not just on a special occasion.
    "A life without love is like a year without summer."

    Have a nice day!:)

  4. Your post made me think about my life and the influences that were not too desirable, that had its hold on me for the longest time. Some of the negative sides do come and show themselves once in a while, but I am glad to say that it is quite under control. Thanks to the positive thoughts and people that I surround myself with of late. =)

    I liked that you are extending the hands of love to those of us who have not known the joy of a truly loving relationship, for this Valentine's. You're very generous my friend, and for that I support your cause and will send tons of prayers out to the world!

    Oh btw, Thank you for the link-love! I'm so very touched. Happy V-day, Gary. Have a good one!

  5. Dear Gary,
    How does the saying go- "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all".
    Indeed, I feel as if my illness brought about a sililar loss of love that you yourself speak about. But perhaps, as the saying above attests, it's better that we at least had the experience.
    And who knows, one day we might get to love again.
    Indeed, perhaps this isn't the time to share this with you Gary, but I think...rather I know...yes I...I think I...I love you, Gary.
    Wishing you All the Best,
    "Doctor" David.

  6. Hugs, Gary. This is a very wise and brave post.

    Love is wonderful and it doesn't have to be romantic love. Love between parent and child or the love we feel for our friends can be just as special.

    While I agree with you that love must be savoured in all its forms, the cynic in me is very uneasy about Valentine's Day. At best it's a bit of fun, at worst it makes the lonely feel even worse and exerts pressure on the vulnerable to spend a small fortune on overpriced roses and chocolate. It's much more important to show your loved ones care and respect on a daily basis rather than buy into the commercialism of Valentine's.

    I second your hope for a more caring and compationate world - we should all do our bit to try to make this happen.

    Take care.


  7. Can't be doing with Valentine's day - complete rip off and waste of money and time! We should think about others who are alone and maybe unhappy all the year round, I think.

    Julie xx

  8. Greetings Kelly,
    Thank you for such a supportive comment.
    I would like to tell you that I have much respect for your transparency.
    Your determination to challenge your depression and seek a better way; is most inspirational.
    I find that humour is a most vital tonic in my ongoing challenge to live a positive life. Your good-natured banter along with your candid reply here is greatly appreciated. You're a good guy.
    With respect and kindness, Gary.

  9. Hi franzwa'
    You have left a most flattering comment and I am deeply grateful.
    I no that you have much passion for the plight of those less fortunate.
    I have read your question about 'mean and nasty life' and how do we react to negative situations. I responded to that question on 'Blogcatalog'.
    Your healthy attitude clearly displays your caring and compassionate nature. Thanks you so much for your kindness.
    Peace and respect, your way, Gary.

  10. Greetings 'Mr. Stupid',
    Thanks for leaving such a kind response.
    That's it. Love should be something treasured everyday of our lives. Not just left to some potentially 'I'd better show some affection today, or else' type day that Valentine's Day can be.
    Here's wishing you a very nice day also.
    Kind wishes, your way, Gary.

  11. Hi Shanaz,
    Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. That is very kind of you.
    What you mention about positive thoughts and surrounding yourself with positive people; is very much the key to having a life that you deserve. It is so much better to be involved with positive aspects than to let negativity overwhelm and dictate how we live our lives.
    Like you, my friend, I shall send out positive vibes to the world.
    Thanks again, Shanaz. You are an inspiration.
    You are welcome for the link:-)
    Peace and kindness, your way, Gary

  12. Hi David,
    I was thinking about that quote when I wrote this posting.
    What you note is most assuredly something that I can relate too. I feel blessed that I have known love and perhaps love will come knocking on my door and your door, once again.
    Hey 'Doctor' David, gives a big 'man hug'.
    All the very best to you and thanks for your ongoing interaction.

  13. Hi Suzanne,
    And hugs back at you :-)
    You have described perfectly what I think about 'Valentine's Day'. I too try not to be cynical about it. Yet despite the somewhat potentially superficial nature of the day; it can be a painful reminder to those who have never experienced a loving relationship, that others seem to have the very thing that they crave.
    Here's to a kinder, more compassionate world.
    Peaceful wishes, your way, Gary x

  14. Hi Julie,
    I completely agree with you. The thing with such times as 'Valentine's Day', insincere and cynical a day as it might be, it can be a very hurtful time for those who have never experienced the joy of true love.
    You are right, we should be thinking about those less fortunate, all year round. Great comment, Julie and thanks.
    With respect and pleasant wishes, your way, Gary x

  15. A very poignant post Gary. Yes indeed Valentine's Day comes as a reminder of pain to those who don't have the person they love by their side, for a variety of reasons. But we always have ourselves and if we truly love ourselves that lack of love of others doesn't make us feel empty. Here's a quote that I came across today which so well expresses my thoughts: The search for the beloved is fulfilled when you fall in love with yourself (Alan Cohen)

    So let's wish ourselves love - of the best kind - the love of self.

    Warm regards

  16. Dear Gary

    After all the wonderful comments you have received about this post, I can not offer much more. It is wonderful that you think so much for others despite your own suffering. But love is a wonderful thing as despite causing pain, it can heal it too. It does not matter where or how it appears in your life, it will always be there.
    Best wishes

  17. This was such a heartfelt post and touches so many people. Fear is a difficult thing to overcome. Learning to find ourselves lovable can be even harder. I admire your courage, your ability to find clarity and the beauty of your soul. May your heart be open and may love find its way to you once again.

  18. Hi Corinne,
    Thank you for a most poignant response.
    I totally agree with what you have mentioned. Despite certain negative influences trying to undermine my validity and worthiness; I have worked through the negative 'hype' and yes, I have that precious awareness of knowing that I do have self-love. Feeling good about myself, hopefully is a positive tonic towards all those I meet and interact with.
    Thank you so much for your wonderful comment.
    With great respect and kindness your way, Gary.

  19. Dear Diane,
    I have indeed been blessed with many wonderful comments. I am so grateful for all who have taken the time to respond.
    I do try to think of others. I am a firm believer that in helping others, we help ourselves. I have worked through my own personal 'suffering' and know that my life is good. I have made it so. I always sense that love, in its purest and most powerful sense, is all around me. We all have choices, I choose to embrace a positive, loving world.
    Thank you, Diane. Kind and peaceful wishes, Gary x

  20. Greetings 'askcherlock',
    Thank you for such an encouraging comment.
    I think, in my case, it was challenging the self doubts that swirled in my head, created by others and compounded by me.
    I know that we are all worthy of love. I remain ever the optimist that love will find its way back to me and for those who have never felt the joy and exhilaration of true, non judgemental love.
    Thank you so much for taking the time to leave your wonderful comment.
    With gratitude, Gary

  21. Dear Gary,
    Forgive my lateness. I needed to contemplate this post. I consider you to be one of my best friends. Indeed the tenderness you share with others, often brings tears to my eyes. Look at all of these comments from people all around the world; you're surrounded by love in a special way. I think it's wonderful that your goal of having 'positive interaction' is so alive.
    I enjoyed reading your post. Thank you for being you.
    In love and peace,

  22. Dear Dixie,
    It is always a great honour to receive a comment from you. Not only are you an excellent writer with a wonderful, straight from the heart blog; you are a thoroughly decent, kind and loving person.
    You know how much I embrace the spirit of positive interaction. I don't always explain my thoughts in my blogs as clearly as I could; however I am warmed and heartened by such an incredible response from all these wonderful people.
    Dixie, thank you for being you. This world is a better place because of your ongoing support and encouragement, to me and to many others.
    With love and peace, your way, Gary x

  23. Gary, a truly compassionate post, loving and giving; wishing you the best.

  24. Wow, that was deep, Gary! To me, you seem like a person who had overcome a lot of his insecurities. I'm sure you've gone through many tough times and I honestly think you're someone whom I can look up to when it comes to dealing with personal issues. Other than that, I take inspiration from the bits and pieces of information you share about your life. I mean, hey, your experience is the real deal and what I'm going through now may be nothing compared to the challenges you have faced. I'm really glad that the law of cause and effect enabled us to make a connection. You're a very cool guy, therefore you rock!

    Peace and respect,

  25. Hi Victoria,
    Thank you for that. I'm a great admirer of your writing. Your excellent postings have a been a great source of thought provoking inspiration.
    With peace and respect, Gary x

  26. Hi Ryhen,
    Thank you, my friend, for leaving such a thoughtful comment.
    When it came to what could be perceived as overwhelming negative challenges; I knew, with my last shred of sanity, that I had choices. I chose to embrace, to be involved with people and resources that were conducive to my mental health well being.
    Yes, I have been to a very dark place, a place I shall never, ever again, revisit.
    My friend, I'm here for you. I applaud you as you challenge any issues that cause you concern. I am privileged to be a part of a very special, kind, caring community via the interaction of our blogs.
    Ryhen, since the very first day I visited your wonderful blog; I knew that you were one heck of a cool and caring dude. Rock n' roll:-)
    Peaceful wishes, your way, Gary

  27. Moving post Gary.

    Love can take so many forms. The love I have for my wife, for my Granddaughter, my son, my daughter and others too.

    Diffrent kinds of love for diffrent kinds of relationship.

    But it's all love.

    Oh, I do have time for Valentine's's my wedding anniversary.

    I'm lucky, very very lucky.

    If you are really ready for love I reckon you'll find it.

    ....but don't look too hard. It'll find you.

  28. Hi John,
    Love, in all its many forms, is to be cherished.
    I am blessed to have known that there was once a loving relationship. I had it all and I know that if love comes my way, I shall embrace it and never take the power of love, for granted.
    I am so glad that you are in such a loving relationship with all your family. It shines through in your heart warming blogs. A belated happy wedding anniversary to the both of you.
    Kind wishes and thank you for such a thoughtful comment.
    With respect, Gary.


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.