Saturday, 31 October 2009

A Canine Conversation.

The following is an interview that I had with our beloved family member, Penny, the Jack Russell cross. A few years back, we got a Jack Russell cross. Now that is not a very good idea. Darn thing kept nipping at my ankles.
"Hello Penny. Thank you for kindly allowing me to interview you. Anything you would like to mention before I ask you a few questions?" Penny responds: "Hello, yes my name is 'Penny' and I am a Jack Russell. When I say 'Jack Russell', I mean a breed of dog and not to be confused with a certain former England cricketer."
"Thanks Penny. As you are aware, you are a bit of an 'internet star'. Do you enjoy this fame?" Penny replies: "Not 'arf'! But heck, I'm used to fame. I recall, when I was a very young dog, that I was constantly 'hounded' by the 'puppyarazzi'....and those pesky autograph hunters. The number of times they expected me to 'paws', just so I could give them an autograph!"
"Thank you Penny. Now Penny, I would like to try a word association game with you. If I say, 'vacuum cleaner'...Penny? Penny? Whoops, sorry, I forgot you are not exactly best friends with the vacuum. Come on, get out from behind the couch."
"That's a good girl, Penny. You sit there on this couch and we shall continue this interview. Penny, I've noticed that you do not like this time of the year. I get the distinct impression that Halloween and Bonfire Night are not fun times. Seems to me, fireworks equals wet carpet." Penny answers: "I get really scared during this time of year. All those loud bangs and bright flashes make me think that something terrible is going to happen. Why do all those people have to set off those fireworks out in the street? Why can't they go to a controlled display somewhere? It would be much safer, and most likely, much cheaper for them. I wish these people would understand how much it scares a lot of us animals." "Penny, I think you have made some valid points. Thanks for sharing that."
"Penny, I've got just a couple more questions. Would please tell me what's your opinion on cats? Penny responds: "Oh, don't get me started on cats!" Like I mentioned to you before; if the house caught on fire and the smoke alarm wasn't working, I would warn you, whilst 'kitty' would 'eff off' out the catflap. I'm glad we don't have a cat living here. I'd tell it a thing or two."
"Okay Penny. Here is the final question. What do you think would make this world a better place?" Penny says: "We show humans loyalty, love and trust. We pass no judgement. If man could be more like us; this world would be a better place."
"Now I have one question to ask you Gary." "What's that Penny?" "Gary, will I be getting paid for this interview?" "Sure thing Penny. I will give you a 'canine coin'. Here, have a 'dog pound'."

24 comments:

  1. Excellent post! I think I might have to interview my cats soon but they're very aloof and I have to go through their agent as they won't speak to me otherwise. They also make Diva demands like wanting fresh fish, and a saucer of cream before they'll even set one paw into the interview room!!

    Such is life!

    Julie xx

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  2. Great fun, Penny's command of the english language isn't as woof as I thought it would be. It is good that you stuck doggedly to the script, I can see how
    penny would lead you off on a bitzer of a wild dog chase. Penny's dogma about cats in quite correct, without being dogmatic about it, cats get off too lightly with their canine lives.

    Well I'm off back to being the dogsbody in the kitchen, keep well my friend

    Philip
    (Friend of the Beaver)

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  3. Dear Gary,
    Once more, signs of your harrowing descent into mental illness. Didn't they tell you that when your dog starts speaking to you, it's time to seek help. Or is that yelp!
    All joking aside, a very entertaining blog, with a serious point too about Halloween and Bonfire Night. An old friend of mine had two dogs, and they got very frightened by the noise. So a salutary reminder to us humans not to be so darn noisy!
    Anyway Gary, it's time for me to get back to my own, all be it "dog-eared" blog.
    With Very Warm Wishes to both You and Penny and hoping to see you soon,
    David.

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  4. Hi,Gary,another first ,but not for me,as I HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH SHEBA all the time,she says"Hi Penny,Ilove my friends too",and I hope Penny is fine.No interviews though ,she remains a private dog.[no publicity]PEACE.Dave.s

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  5. Brilliant interview. You managed to get a lot more sense out of Penny than I do out of some of the humans I speak to.

    XX

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  6. Hi Julie,
    Thanks for your comment. I hope you manage to interview your cats. No doubt, you will have a 'cat'alogue of questions ready for those finicky divas.
    Happy writing, Julie.
    'Pawsitive' wishes, Gary x

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  7. Dear Philip aka 'Smallandsnappy aka 'Friend of the Beaver',
    And here's me thinking 'dogmatic' was some kinda' robot dog.
    I have to agree, cats get away with far too much. I have a garden that proves this.
    Have fun in the kitchen, Philip. Your new blog is an excellent read.
    Time for me to paws and reflect, Gary:-)

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  8. Dear David,
    What's this? Dogs don't speak? "Hmmm..guess what Penny?" "What Gary?" "Well, I've been told you can't speak." "Gary, my learning to talk in English was 'arf' the battle."
    You are right David. Penny has brought up some good points to ponder. Us humans need to be more responsible with the usage of fireworks. Seriously, Penny is a trembling wreck this time of the year. It is not easy trying to type this with a very scared little dog sitting on my lap.
    Warm wishes to you. See you soon, Gary:-)

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  9. Hi david.s,
    I have met Sheba and I am surprised that she wishes to be a private dog. She has some pretty darn loud chats.
    Anyway, I shall pass on Sheba's kind wishes to Penny. I know Penny will be most appreciative.
    Look after yourself, David. Wishing you peace, Gary

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  10. Hi Suzanne,
    I think you comment is spot (the dog) on:-)
    I, like you, have met a few humans in my time that make far less sense than our animal friends.
    Penny passes on 'pawsitive wishes, your way.
    Kind regards, Gary x

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  11. Loved this Gary. It made me laugh!Everyone says our dog, Ruby, is thick so i think the only answer i would get to any questions i put to her would be "doh".

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  12. Hi Miriam,
    Seems to me your dog, 'Ruby', could have one heck of a conversation with Homer Simpson...'Doh!' lol
    Thank you Miriam, and I'm so glad that you are blogging. Well done and keep going.
    Kind wishes, Gary

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  13. Dear Gary & Penny,
    Such a funny, yet lovely interview from you two. I 'paws' to give you applause. To think that if it were a 'dog's world' it might be more perfect. Hopefully that wouldn't be a "tall tail" to pursue.
    Across the pond, a 'dog pound' is a place where stray or displaced dogs arrive, hopeful to find a new owner to adopt them.
    Thanks; another thought provoking lap up for me!!!

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  14. Dear Dixie,
    Penny and myself thank you so much for your kind comment.
    When it comes to 'paws'; well, I've just got to 'hand' it to you. You always manage to come up with, through dogged determination, an excellent response.
    Of course, being from Canada, I knew what a 'pound' was. I think you may have had a hunch that I would try and use that play on words.
    'Puppy Chow' for now:-) Gary x

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  15. I suppose I could hound you with comments but that would be barking up the wrong tree.

    A believable insight into a doggy mind.

    I like the difference drawn between a cat and dog should a fire start.

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  16. Hi John,
    Thanks for your kind interaction. I could say that I was feeling 'ruff', when I was interviewing Penny. However, that would be too obvious. I think I'm talking a load of 'Shih Tzu':-)
    Thanks John. Kind regards, Gary

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  17. Aw gee whiz,
    Thanks for that, Heather. Penny is kinda' cute also:-)

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  18. fter history of Border Collies in our family , we had our first Jack Russell for over 18mths now and they are such happy friendly dogs full of energy great companions and luv familys kids and people in fact they thrive on human contact Id reccomend them to anyone who is lonely or living on their own

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  19. Hey 'rdkill',
    What a nice comment. Jack Russells are such fun-loving, playful, fearless little dogs. It has been a joy to have such a wonderful little companion. She has got me through some desperately lonely times. So I heartily concur with what you mentioned.
    I've been checking out your blog. Great stuff. Wishing you well.
    Thanks again and kind wishes, Gary:-)

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  20. I really like this delightful interview with man's best friend. It's good Penny is articulate!

    Thanks Gary for this doggy post.

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  21. Hey Jun,
    Thanks for dropping by. Indeed, Penny is a most articulate dog. She was having a conversation with the reflection in the living room window. I then pointed out to her that she was actually chatting to herself:-)
    Hope you're keeping well.
    Kind wishes, Gary.

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  22. Helen and I have a beagle;a most intelligent and sensitive dog, but noisy and hyper-active at times. In the yard behind us they have a Jack Russell;
    directly behind us are two black Labs; then beside us, is a mixed breed large dog...so we are virtually surrounded with canine attention and affection. My best

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  23. Hello Count Sneaky,
    Beagles are lovely dogs. With all those dogs in your neighbourhood, perhaps you are getting too much of a good thing:-)
    My best to you and your loved ones, Gary.

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I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.