Friday, 9 January 2009

Living Our Lives.

The freedom to live our lives, the way we want to live. Not living up to what we perceive others expect of us. It is all too easy to get trapped in a negative environment, created by others and compounded by us. Do we not have a choice?
So if you are used to living in a negative environment, you may think this is the way life must be. Well, we do have a choice. I made the choice to distance myself from the negative elements that were eroding the remaining remnants of my all too fragile self esteem. Being vulnerable, being mentally ill, made me an easy target for those who used me to detract from their own insecurites. This 'easy target' decided that something had to change.
When I distanced myself from those who only saw me when they wanted something, who weren't really interested in me or how I was feeling, made me lonelier, more isolated. Yet it was a good kind of lonely, a good kind of isolation. For now I could reflect and evaluate what I truly wanted in my life. Now I would live my life according to my rules and not cater to the whims of people who considered me a convenience but not a friend.
Now I embrace the ideals of people who care about me and show respect rather than disinterest. In turn, the new people in my life receive genuine interest and caring from me. Positive interaction, positive respect, the power of a chosen positive environment. No more undermining, no more dismissing my validity. This powerful journey along my positive route grows ever stronger. I will never go back to that dark place, that negative place that almost destroyed my dignity. I am better than that and so are you.
So if being happy, experiencing positivity seems like a distant, fading memory; know that deep within you, the flame of renewed hope still burns. You have dreams about the life you want to live. Nobody has the right to destroy your dreams, your aspirations. Do not let them.
It is too easy to be suffocated by negativity, for being positive may seem like hard work and a most daunting task. Yet choosing to be positive is worth the effort. You can now make that choice about getting on with your new life, your new adventure, your new purpose. This is about living our lives. Nobody shall clip our wings just as we are learning to fly.


  1. Klahanie aka Gary,
    This is one of the most beautiful works I have ever read. Not a dream, but a combination of dreams to create a reality of happiness and mental health well-being. Thank you for your empathy and positive interaction.
    I'm going for it. In peace, dcrelief aka Dixie

  2. Positivity is hard to maintain in these times, but hard isn't impossible, and anything is possible with positivity and inner strength. Thank you for your beautiful thoughts xx

  3. i echo your sentiments,gary,you are so right,and your support has inspired me when i most needed it,to me ,and many others this battle,has many rewards,not least connecting as an equal, with yourself,which has given me renewed hope,i have learned so muchhere, you are a valued friend ,stay strong,be happy,you know you can do it,PEACE. DS

  4. Dear klahanie,
    Just logging in for the New Year after a few weeks' absence. And what a start to the New Year it is, with all your positive thoughts and guidance. Like you, we all who have had problems with our mental health have had to battle both our negative inner demons and the negative envoronments in which we can sometimes find ourselves. But as you so eloquently put, no one should be allowed to clip our wings in driving for a happier existence. So here's to you and all that positivity. Also hope you had a fantastic Xmas and New Year.
    Yours, as ever, with very Best Wishes,

  5. this is a wonderful post.
    I have experience what you state here.Have been used by people around me.When I realized this and moved away from the crowd,suddenly their insecurities made them concerned about me.They tried to "help" me to get out of my isolation.
    But this kind of isolation is good,for you will come to know who really cares.

  6. Dear dcrelief,
    I know you want to truly embrace positivity. Here is your chance to challenge the negative environment that has so overwhelmed you.
    Dear lady, that dream of living your life, can now become reality.
    I thank you for your lovely comment.
    I send you peaceful thoughts.
    Warm wishes klahanie aka Gary.

  7. Dear jewel shining through,
    You are so right about positivity being hard to maintain. Yet, as we realise, positivity is well worth the commitment.
    May your own inner strength and resolve continue to grow.
    I thank you very much for your comment.
    Warm wishes klahanie aka Gary.

  8. Dear DS,
    Thank you for your very nice comment. The positive interaction you and I have shared, is most condusive to our continuing on that journey that leads us towards a more positive life. DS, this is your life, you know you can live it the way you choose.
    Positive regards klahanie aka Gary.

  9. Dear David,
    Thank you for your very kind comment. It most certainly can be a battle with "our negative inner demons". The negative environment we can find ourself 'trapped' in may seem most daunting. Yet, ofcourse, we do have a choice. We can challenge the negativity and learn to live our lives, the way we want to live. Thanks David.
    Warm wishes klahanie aka Gary.

  10. Dear DESPERADO,
    A very warm welcome to you, my friend. Thank you so much for leaving a comment.
    Yes indeed, in times of turmoil, we discover who our real friends are. That is why I distanced myself from people who were not good for my mental health wellbeing.
    I send you positive wishes as you move along your own pathway towards a more contented life.
    Warm, peaceful regards, klahanie aka Gary.

  11. Hi everyone,
    My apologies for not responding back to your comments sooner. I have been somewhat distracted lately. The good news is that it has been a positive distraction.
    Empathetic thoughts to you all.
    klahanie aka Gary.

  12. Speaking as one who knows negative thought, your post is very inspiring. We have the choice, albeit difficult at times, to overcome the negativity of the world with positive thoughts leading to a much fuller and richer life.


  13. Warm greetings to 'The Buddhist Conservative',
    Thank you very kindly for your input on my blog. You are so right about having a positive choice. To extol positivity in an often negative world, can been hard work, but that hard work, through inner resilience, has magical rewards.
    Thanks again Roger.
    Positive blessings, klahanie aka Gary.

  14. Hi Gary!
    I must say this is a powerful message. One thing that I have found though is that although being a positive being sometimes can seem daunting, it is like anything else. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. You simply make it second nature and it will sustain you. I have to recommend a wonderful book that I have just started. This is a study that I have been involved with for a long time but needed something a little more formal so that I truly understand it. It is called NLP for Dummies. Get it, it is super clear on the power of our thinking and how we can change the dynamics that affect us. Better yet, we can decide how those things will affect us.
    I appreciate your inspiring input to our lives and have always loved your friendship. I sometimes hate how far away you are but I see health coming back to you and I'm grateful.

  15. Dear Heather,
    Thank you for your wonderful comment. As you know, I am actually aware of this comment on this blog because I clicked on the 'subscribe to follow up comments' button. Thus, even though I did this blog way back in January, it is now September 27th, I was informed via email.
    Anyway, enough of the technical stuff:-) Your suggestion in regards to 'NLP for Dummies' has been noted. I shall check that out.
    You and Wayne are tremendous source of inspiration. I thank you both for your friendship. I shall endeavour to be back over soon.
    Hugs, Gary xx

  16. Wow, Gary! What an awesome post. You are so right about so many things. It's an awful feeling when you realize you are being used. It makes you resent the person who is doing it and it cuts into your self-esteem. Some times it's hard to stay positive and you have to step back from a situation to look after yourself. My husband always says that you can't take care of anyone else if you aren't taking care of yourself...

    Wonderful post and I love the new look of your blog. :)

  17. Hi Sharon,
    Thank you so much for commenting on this archived blog. It very much relates to how I'm feeling as I challenge my latest bout of depression.
    Wise words by your husband. If we don't take care of ourselves, we can hardly take care, be there for others.
    I know that we both realise that we have to distance ourselves from negative influences and embrace our right to a peaceful and happy life. Negative energy just eats away at our hearts and minds.
    Thanks Sharon and I'm glad you like the new look of my blog :)
    In peace and respect, Gary

  18. Gary! I see you've got a very a new and improved blog layout going on! I like it. Was it Penny's idea? Because I know she's got some real artistic flair, that cutie! And I really feel that it's most vital to not let the negativity of others drown us, and being a sensitive person that you are, it must be tough dealing with peeps who are only there when they need something from you. But don't you worry, you can easily filter those weeds out and focus on those who truly matter. It is your life, after all. Keep glowing with positiveness, my dear friend, you've come this far to let the petty dark voices pull you down. Here's sending tons of cheer your way, a cheese cake, and a doggy snack for furry Penny.

  19. Hey Shanaz,
    My goodness and double thanks for also commenting on this archived posting. Very kind of you :)
    Yes, it was Penny's idea to change the template on the site. Penny loves the sea!
    Your comment resonates with the very ideals I so desire. Those who would impose negativity on our lives have to be distanced from. I know that I am better not associating with folks who think they can undermine my right to a peaceful and happy life.
    My dear friend, your words are wise. And it is decent people like you that give me the strength to maintain a positive focus. Thanks Shanaz and know you will always have my support and encouragement.
    Thank you for the cheese cake and the doggy snack for Penny. Whoops...Penny ate the cheese cake! Oh well, I guess I can have her doggy snack :)
    Warm wishes and grateful thoughts, your way, Gary :)

  20. I did this too. Some time ago. It has been the key to survival for me, along with humour. This is a beautiful line - "Nobody shall clip our wings just as we are learning to fly. " It is a fine, fine post. x

    1. Hi Michelle,

      I've always sensed you do. Distancing ourselves from a negative environment that would have the audacity to try and sabotage our right to a peaceful, positive life.

      Humour sure is great coping strategy. In fact, it's also part of our reality as we both like to make folks have a good laugh.

      Very kind of you to comment on this ancient posting, Michelle.

      A fine, fine day to you, my friend.

      Gary :) x


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.