Monday, 29 December 2008

Oh Great! Britain.

The following blog was typed in front of a 'dead' studio audience. I may have to type this rather quickly as the zombies are getting quite close to the cast and crew that helped produce this blog.
So here I am living in Great Britain. That's right, Great Britain, also known as the United Kingdom, or the U.K. Then again, shouldn't it be called the 'U.Q.'? Which ofcourse means the United Queendom. After all, when a King is on the throne, the national anthem is sung like this: 'God save our gracious King, long live our noble King.' So it stands to reason that with a Queen on the throne, that indeed, at this time, I am living in the 'U.Q'?
Now, speaking of the national anthem, I have noticed something that I consider rather contradictory. Although I don't see as many as I used too, there is a collection of 'anti-establishment' rebels with skin heads and Union Jacks stamped on their heads. Very scary looking. (The men can look pretty scary also). Well these anti-establishment rebels like to go to football matches. When the national anthem starts up, I have observed that these 'rebels' sing the song with such awe-inspiring gusto. Matter of fact, it is not unusual, for these, 'I hate all things relating to establishment', to break into spontaneous bursts of the the national anthem. Maybe they are just part time 'rebels'. I think they are actually very patriotic.
In Britain, there is a grocery shop named 'Iceland'. There modern slogan? Well, it would be right up to date in... oh the nineteenth century. There slogan is: 'Mum's gone to Iceland'. Well as somebody who just happens to be a Dad, I take great offence to this sexist slogan. It stereotypes that women do the grocery shopping. Well, having been a single Dad, I can tell you that I do know how to grocery shop. Still, how about this Iceland. 'Dad's gone to Iceland'. Then again, I wont shop in such a silly shop with even sillier adverts on the television. Rant over.
You may have noticed that there are two other flags up at the top of this blog, besides the 'Union Jack'. The one with the red maple leaf is the flag of Canada, 'the true north strong and free'. I would like to take this opportunity to dazzle you with some amazing 'facts' about Canada eh. Did you realise that it was a couple of Canadians who basically sorted out the Universe? Please allow me to explain. Captain James T. Kirk of Star Trek fame, is Canadian. You remember this famous line? 'Space... the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship 'Canada eh'. Then again, there was also Commander Adama, another Canadian trying to get things sorted out in space and the leader of a noble mission. Do you recall him saying this? 'Fleeing from the Cylon tyranny, the last Battlestar, 'Galacticanada', leads a ragtag, fugitive fleet, on a lonely quest—for a shining planet known as Earth." So there you go, some overwhelming 'proof' just how vital Canadians have been in our space type adventures.
Wait there's more. Let me tell you about an invention by a truly great Canadian scientist. The year was 1962, the scientist in question, Edward Asselbergs, created something so significant to the betterment of mankind, that other events of 1962, such as John Glenn being the first American to orbit the earth, pale by comparison. That's right, Mr. Asselbergs brought to the world.... instant mashed potatoes.
So that leaves us with just one more flag. That is the flag of the United States of America. Our American friends may have realised that Britain has put a rather boastful adjective before the name of the nation. 'Great' Britain, well gee whiz...I'm surprised you have not done something about that and bettered that adjective for yourselves. So here you go...'Super Duper' United States of America. From now on, no chants at the Olympics of: 'U.S.A...U.S.A.'... from now on you can chant this: 'S.D.U.S.A.'....or maybe not.
Right then, enough of this. The audience is starting to head towards the cast, crew!
So as I proceed to take off outta' here...I wish all of you a peaceful, positive 2009.


  1. Klahanie:
    sur•re•al•ism NOUN:
    1. A 20th-century literary and artistic movement that attempts to express the workings of the subconscious and is characterized by fantastic imagery and incongruous juxtaposition of subject matter.
    2. Literature or art produced in this style.
    3. I seriously think you need to get laid.
    French surrealism : sur-, beyond (from Old French; see sur- ) + réalisme, realism (from reality, realism, from Medieval Latin re lit s, from re , real; see real 1).
    I think it went well. Jolly good!

  2. Klahanie, man after you been married a few, lettig the little woman go to iceland don't seem like such a bad idea. But you say you want to go? That's nice.
    Okay, all that aside, what's the point with the rest? Something's missing?
    Mr. abc

  3. Hi folks,
    Thank you kindly for your comments. Me do a surreal blog? Now that sounds like an idea.
    Hello to 'Mr. abc'. A warm welcome to you good sir. What is the point with the rest of my blog? There is no point at all, blogging is a therapeutic outlet for me. Besides, I typed quickly because the zombies were looking mighty hungry. Take real good care 'Mr. abc' and thanks again for submitting a comment:-)

  4. Dear Klahanie,
    I agree with what you were saying about that shop "Iceland" and your information on Canada, Great Britain, and SDUSA. However I forgot about the pesky zombies.
    Thank you for your kind response.
    Mr. abc

  5. Dear '',
    Thank you for your follow up comment. It was much appreciated.
    In regards to: "Something's missing?" Hopefully this works. A Canadian band from Toronto named 'Edward Bear' did a song titled: "You, me and Mexico". Here are some lyrics from that song: "Cause I'm thinking of you down in mexico,
    Feeling free as the air,
    Here I am stuck in the city,
    Still going nowhere."
    Warm regards to you, klahanie :-)


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.