Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Where Are We Going?

So just where are we going? "How does it feel. How does it feel. To be on your own. With no direction home. Like a complete unknown. Like a rolling stone?" Do you relate to those lyrics from 'Like A Rolling Stone', by Bob Dylan? Do you feel like you are on your own, even when surrounded by the commotion of mankind? Have you lost your direction? Do you even know what direction you want? Are you unknown to those who should know you? Does your heart ache with pain, with trauma beyond the comprehension of those who haven't got the time to spare a moment and embrace your humanity? 'Rolling stones', wandering aimlessly, striving to have a purpose, a meaning in a world that too often dismissed us as weak and useless. A world that stigmatises those with mental health issues.
So then, maybe we have become positive, positive about being negative. When all you are used to is being devalued, when people don't care about the tears running down your cheeks, you can truly start to believe that you are not worthy of being an integral part of the human race. Negativity breeds negativity. It then becomes easy to distance ourselves from the positive possibilities that are within our grasp. The choice is there for you. You can drown in that ocean of negativity, or, you can reach out and discover that there are empathetic realities.
Seek out those who are genuine, who are sincere, who will be there for you in your hour of need. For to dismiss those who really do care means that we have surrendered to the negative environment we have tried to escape. That is irony at its saddest. So do we stay in this self-enforced hell? Do we continue to feel bad about ourselves because feeling good is an alien concept? Have we reached the point that the possiblity of feeling good makes us feel guilty? After all, we are not worthy of being happy? Or are we?
I try to maintain a positive outlook. Being positive can indeed be hard work but it is so much better than the option of living my life with no hope, no ambition, no reason for existing. Yet often, my positivity is greeted with suspicion. Suspicion by the very people who ideally want a better life. They are so absorbed with negative aspects, they dismiss my positive intentions and twist it into a negative. 'Let's 'catch' him out. He must have some 'hidden agenda'. What's in it for him?'
I do understand this type of thinking. For when you have been subjected to relentless emotional torment; it is difficult to appreciate or recognise unconditional empathy.
So just what's in it for me? I hope that by trying to help, to support those who have been undermined and disrespected, I help them, I help myself. Together, we can find our direction home. Wont you come along with me as we discover our true direction in life? Together we can inspire through the power of empathy. I throw you a 'lifejacket', please do not perceive it as an 'anchor'.


  1. What a great post Gary!

    The human race has become so cynical that we do tend to look at positive emotion as suspicious.

    None of us will change the world but the trickle down effect of a positive attitude is more powerful than we know.

    The hard fact is that the only person that can truly make our life better is standing in the mirror looking at us.


  2. Your blog so hit a note with me, so I enjoy giving and caring unconditionally, but some people view that with suspicion and questions. I'm a Random Acts of Kindness sort of person when I can, because sometimes I feel that people lose what it is to be human, to care, to give and not to expect or need anything back in return. I'm no mug: I aim not to let people use me, but I'm a Pay it Forward believer, and would rather that the good feeling was spread out to others than return back to me only, although that's is fine too to recharge my positivity. Thank you for the tag on FB, xx

  3. As a PS your blog gave me food for a blogging thought. Thank you xx

  4. typically insightful, and so true ,gary,you know how much i relate to this.i, too ,am guilty of being suspicious of goodwill,too often its turned into bitterness,you are a shining example of someone who finds a positive in every situation,this is a wonderful ,and timely blog,yours in sincerity d.s.

  5. Dear Gary,
    Don't mind them negative folks, they're probably only going through what you and I and millions of others like us have gone through. It is so hard to be positive when in the deep throes of a depression. So, your own positiviy must come as something of a shock to some. Somehow, hopefully, though, we all, eventually, begin to see the light at the end of our tunnel and embrace our own recovery and positivity, and in that journey, you are obviously an inspiration to many.
    So keep on keeping on.
    From your friend, the genius,
    P.S. I love that Bob Dylan song.

  6. Hello Roger,
    Thank you for your positive interaction. Your responses are much appreciated.
    If enough of us work together on the 'trickle down effect', perhaps we can work through and break down the negative barriers that have been created in this all too cynical world.
    I look in the mirror and I know I shall continue to make my life better. In turn I pass my positivity on to you and those who would embrace positive possibilities.
    Thank you Roger.

  7. Dear Jewel,
    Thank you very much for your response to this blog.
    What you have written indicates to me that you have taken decisions in your life to be involved with people who are condusive to your own mental health wellbeing. It is too easy to let ourselves be taken advantage of. I know at one time in my life, I was so desperate for company that I let the negative cynics devalue and undermine me. I made a choice to distance myself from that negative environment.
    Thank you for quoting part of my blog in your latest blog. That is a wonderful display of empathetic interaction.
    Warm regards Gary x

  8. Greetings 'd.s.',
    I hoped that you would relate to this blog. I know how tough and how down you have been.
    I am trying to let you know that there are genuine people who really do care.
    When you have been bombarded with negativity, it can be easy to assume that virtually everybody will try to undermine you.
    Dave, please believe me, there are people who embrace empathy.
    Thank you for your comment, my friend. Warm wishes, Gary.

  9. Dear David,
    Thank you for your comment, my genius friend.
    Part of my own depression has been because I allowed negative, uncaring, selfish people dictate my life. I do not allow this anymore. I know I have a choice.
    Maintaining my positive outlook whilst battling with my inner critic has been damn hard work. I try my best to be positive and pass that positivity on to others.
    Thank you David for your continued empathetic involvement.
    With very warm wishes, Gary.

  10. Dear Gary,

    More important than thought of as a blog, this is a lifestyle. A genuine expression of love from you toward your understanding of us (humanity). Your writing flows the needed words of encouragement, our hearts are touched.
    I have felt a great tug within myself to be a person described as positive and happy. Thank you so much Gary for providing solutions when my mind could find none.
    I greatly appreciate your life.
    Good wishes, Dixie

  11. Dear Dixie,
    I am heartened and encouraged by your own progress towards a better life.
    I know your new direction in life will bring you the respect that you truly deserve. Feel the warmth of that positive glow that is beginning to burn brightly.
    Empathetic, positive, happy thoughts your way, Gary x

  12. thanks for your kind words ,gary i do relate to this blog,[particularly at the moment]and just a few words can have a powerful ,profound effect,you always put your point across so genuinely ,and i know you have had your struggles too,yet always remained your true self .your sense of humour is a wonderful example to us all,i believe ive learned so much from you and this has aided my resilience . d.s.

  13. Hello 'd.s.',
    May your resilience and commitment to seek a better life, grow ever stronger.
    This is the power of empathy d.s. Being here for each other, through this caring interaction, will help in our self esteem. Thank you for your heartfelt comment.
    Warm regards klahanie aka Gary :-)

  14. Hi Gary,
    This has just appeared on my Farce Book page, have you republished? Any way I will Comment.

    "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" Well, I believe it does. Empathy is not easy to live with, but I try to be on your wave length. I know how it feels to be castergated for being feeling, but it won't stop me.
    Yes I think you know where you are going, you may dawdle or become distracted by what goes on around you, but you are on that recovery road.

    (Friend of the Beaver)

  15. Hi Philip, thanks for your response. Yes indeed, I occasionally republish some blogs from my archives.
    I think we are on a pretty similar wavelength.
    Positive wishes, Gary aka Mr.Beaver :-)

  16. A brilliant comprehensive look at this age-old problem, and again the personal courage and wisdom with which you approach it, are impressive. We cannot change the world, but we can hope to change those with whom we interact every day. I ran across this passage from one of Carlos Castenada's books today:
    "People tell us from the time we are born that the world is such and such, and so and so, and naturally we have no choice but to accept that the world is the way people have been telling us it is."
    We do not have to accept it and can change the thoughts of others.

  17. Hi Henry,
    That was very kind of you to comment on this 'archived' posting.
    And it would be nice to think that positive interaction breeds positive results.
    That quote implies that we have no choice and just be resided in the fact that this is the way it will be.
    Like you note, we do not have to accept this. Thoughts, for the better of us all, can be instilled in the hearts of mankind.
    Thank you, Henry.
    With respect, Gary.


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.