Thursday, 28 May 2015

Check Out The Checkout.

This is an exercise in writing a post very quickly.  So quickly that I've no idea what I'm actually going to write.  This exercise into the unknown sentence after this sentence, is another way to see if I can work through this ridiculous fatigue that I've been experiencing.

Got into my car.  Started car.  Drove car to the supermarket.  Parked car.  Strolled towards supermarket.  I pass by somebody I don't know but recognise their face from all the others times I've passed by then but don't actually know them. They don't know me either but recognise my face. This means we give each other than slight recognition head nod that people do who don't know each other but recognise each other's face.  We both very quietly whisper "hello."  It's always a whisper to somebody you don't actually know but recognise their face.

I'm now grocery shopping.  Milk, cheese, eggs, pasta, juice without sugar and sparkling water from some Scottish mountain stream.  I see the kid riding the front of the shopping cart.  I see his parents pushing the cart and think what f**king idiots!

I notice the one checkout open is devoid of shoppers.  By the time I get down the aisle, the checkout is no longer empty.  It seems that everybody was hiding at the end of the aisles waiting for the opportunity to get to the one checkout that was no longer devoid of shoppers.

The store manager realises that another checkout needs to be opened.  As soon as the checkout beside the checkout I'm at opens, I insist that the lady in front of me with only one item, goes ahead of me to the the newly opened checkout.  She thanks me.  As soon as she's about to head to the checkout, some asshole with his full shopping cart, swoops in front of her and proceeds to put his stuff on the conveyor belt.  In my mind, I meet the dude out in the parking lot and beat the crap out of him.

I patiently wait for my turn at the original checkout.  I go a bit ballistic when I notice that the basket I'm about to put on the stack of other baskets will not go on properly because some idiot has left the handles of a basket inwards.  I re-stack the baskets and mumble something about it being one of my pet peeves.

My turn and I have a nice chat with the lady cashier.  She states, "Judging by your accent, you've been a broad."  I reply, "Nope, as far as I know, I've always been a male,"  She giggled and I realised she actually meant "abroad."  "Where does your accent come from?", she inquired.  "Well, it starts at the bottom of my throat and works its way out of my mouth."  "Very funny!", she replied, "Where are you from?", she then asked.  I actually got to tell her it's a Canadian accent.  Rather different from the number of times I've been asked what part of the States am I from!   "How long have you been here?", she asked.  "About ten minutes.  Oh, you don't mean how long have I been in the store.  Okay, on and off, since October, 1987."

Took my groceries and wandered past the self-serve, so-called, express checkout.  The queue to use the self-serve made me glad I used the checkout where you can converse with a human.

Put my groceries in my car and headed back home.

I look at this sentence and notice that this has taken twenty minutes to write.  Should I check it for tipos, um, typos?  Nah, just publish the darned thing and see what happens.....Take that, fatigue!!!

111 comments:

  1. People you don't quite know can be pleasantly courteous -- or they can be check-out stealing idiots. At least the cashier was nice, right? Even if she thought you were a broad. Hee-hee! I hope you feel better soon.

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    Replies
    1. Hey Lexa,

      I wish I knew less people then. LOL I wanted to punch that guy. The cashiers are almost always pleasant to me. I have the most surreal conversations.

      Thank you and time for this, "broad" to get some sleep.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  2. Just hit publish, that's the best.

    I'm from the states but often get asked if I'm from Canada.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mrs. Whisk,

      Or hit, "pawblish", as Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar does :)

      What part of Canada are you from, eh? :)

      Gary

      Delete
    2. lololololol.

      How goes you today?

      Delete
  3. This post is very amusing. I didn't notice any errors in it, either.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Janie,

      I appreciate that. Maybe I should type real fast and not look at what I've typed, more often :)

      Thank you, my kind friend.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  4. This post was very entertaining and readable, Gary, not bad for a first draft! That's what I do when I'm tired. Don't overthink it, just have at it. Otherwise I don't get much done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Nick,

      I appreciate that, good sir. A first draft, rather like an ill wind in my case :) Good thinking, Nick. Sometimes, I just type away and see what happens. No pressure and a lot of fun. My last two brains cells try not to overthink.

      A pleasant weekend to you.

      Gary

      Delete
  5. Fatigue is a soul sucker. Much like its incestuous cousin depression.
    Lovely to see you posting, and even better to hear that you had forced yourself out of the house. Heartfelt hugs, and oceans of caring.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sue,

      Fatigue and depression go hand in hand. A vicious cul-de-sac that I'm trying to get out of and change address.

      It's a huge effort to actually post. That's why I just went with my what the hell style of writing. You are most kind, Sue. I so wish you and your loved ones a most peaceful rest of your weekend.

      Gary

      Delete
  6. I enjoyed reading this and I'm sure the checkout girl enjoyed the interaction too. It's always good to get a polite happy customer. The grumpy ones make the shift seem far too long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi River,

      I'm heartened you enjoyed reading the post. Thank you. I can imagine how awful it must be for those working at the tills and anybody dealing with customers, when an unruly one comes along. In the vast number of experiences, I have wonderfully charming conversations with the staff in shops. Those grumpy folks should think twice.

      Cheers, River and have a wonderful remainder of your weekend.

      Gary

      Delete
  7. The checkout scenario is just the sort of thing that happens to me Gary, though they usually open another one AFTER I've just loaded my stuff onto the conveyor. I love your humourous conversation with the cashier, it probably brightened up her day. :)

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    Replies
    1. Hi Eunice,

      Oh yes, the old AFTER routine. Don't you just hate it when somebody who gets to a till after you, is out of the store before you even get served. Thankfully, I have delightful conversations with almost everybody I meet. The cashier had a great big grin when I left. Hopefully, for all the right reasons! :)

      A peaceful weekend to you, Eunice.

      Gary

      Delete
  8. You know how to have fun in the checkout lane. That girl probably adored you.
    I'd want to beat the crap out of that guy as well.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Alex,

      My times in the checkout lane are often bordering on surreal. Surreal and fun. All the ladies adore me, just like they all adore you, my dashing friend.

      That guy knew exactly what he was doing. We could take turns beating the crap out of him!

      Have a good weekend, Alex.

      Gary

      Delete
  9. I've started speaking up to line jumpers (most of them are taller than me) and telling them to get back in line. I'm old with white hair and a cane so I can usually get away with it. Also I'm a broad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Delores,

      Way to go. A bit of public humiliation to the perpetrators is just what they need. An old broad with a cane is not to be messed with. Watch out for Old Rage Pensioners!

      Thank you, Delores and have a nice weekend, eh.

      Gary

      Delete
  10. I love it! I don't know how you kept your cool and didn't tell that guy to eff off when he cut you like that. Unbelievable. You know as I was reading this, by the end I was doing it to the tune of Suzanne Vega's 'Tom's Diner' song. lol (I hope you know that one).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi JoJo,

      It happens quite a lot, unfortunately. Over here, at least, a number of folks become these inconsiderate, selfish beasts when they enter a supermarket. It's just like the people who block off the reduced price section and take the lot, even stuff they probably don't want. Nasty, nasty people! Thanks and I certainly know that song which is now swirling around in my head!

      "I am sitting
      In the morning
      At the diner
      On the corner..." Arggghhhhh!!!!

      Have a great weekend, JoJo.

      Gary

      Delete
  11. Everybody plays the check-out game. After leisurely perusing the aisles, we begin the battle of finding the right checkout counter. Which will get us out faster; how much food do the people in front of us have; are there any elderly who might pay with a check? Oh, the excitement of it all!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Arleen,

      Yep, everybody hides at the end of the aisles waiting for the clear checkout. Then you get to the checkout and you think it wont take too long. Then the person in front of you fumbles through to the bottom of their purse to get their money, or their card, or their coupons, or their car keys and then takes ages paying because they insist on telling the cashier their life story and what about those awful kids these days... Yep, their should be laws against such excitement!

      Thank you, Delores. Have a nice weekend.

      Gary

      Delete
  12. That is when I'd "accidentally" back up over the guy in the parking lot, or at least think about it haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Pat,

      Guy with a full shopping cart seen splattered inside the shopping cart and covered in peanut butter. At least, they thought it was peanut butter....

      Thanks, Pat and have a weekend of some sort.

      Gary

      Delete
  13. Loved your conversation with the cashier! You are such a funny goof.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Debra,

      How's it goin', eh?

      Just a rather normal conversation with a cashier for me. I have a right goofy time. Imagine the bewilderment when I try to pay with Canadian Loons :)

      Have a good weekend, Debra.

      Gary

      Delete
  14. You had asked the lady in front of you with a single item to go to the next counter but I don't understand why you didn't go to that counter yourself. The man was certainly rude but the lady could have told the counter cashier that she had only one item and therefore should be allowed to be billed first. I do this in supermarkets when I have only one item. Normally, no one objects and I get the preference.

    The conversation you had with the lady at the counter was very hilarious and I enjoyed it very much. I am sure both of you had a good laugh too.

    Best wishes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Joseph,

      I indicated to the lady in front of me to go to the counter that was opening. I was also in the process of going to the newly opened till by following after her. The man saw both of us, ignored us and made darned sure he got there first. Yes, I understand what you mean. However, sometimes being assertive, can seriously backfire. I have witnessed somebody asking to go around somebody with a lot of groceries. The response was a torrent of abuse. I think one can get quite shy about any potential stressful confrontation.

      I have a right good laugh with virtually everybody I meet.

      Thank you for you thoughtful comment, good sir.

      Gary

      Delete
  15. This was a great post! Glad you battled your fatigue and got it out there.

    I hate when people don't let someone with one item go in front of them and it is even worse to cut in front of someone in that situation. Seriously makes me wonder about some people,

    I bet you made the checkout girl's day. You are too funny. Sounds like all in all it was an experience for sure. :)
    ~Jess

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    Replies
    1. Hi Jess,

      I appreciate that, Jess. Thanks. This is one way I'm trying to battle my fatigue. Just type absolute garbage and have some fun! :)

      There's a number of selfish people out there. They only care about themselves. Quite sad. Then again, there have been times where I let somebody go in front of me and they couldn't even be bothered to thank me!

      For some strange reason, folks seem to remember me. I do have a good laugh with the cashiers in supermarkets. To see somebody smile makes my day.

      Thank you, my lovely friend. Have a great weekend.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  16. Woohoo! You're not a broad - as if there was any doubt - and you posted. And you made me laugh, and you made the cashier laugh too. You're awesome that way.
    Keep a smile, Gary. Glad you're back! xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Robyn,

      I've been abroad but never a broad! :) Ah yes, I posted in rapid quick time. Put the tiredness off to one side and just wrote whatever my last two brains could conjure up.

      You are way too nice. Thanks and your chocolate-coated kangaroo testicles are on their way :)

      Nice to sort of back. Have an amazing weekend, dear friend.

      Gary :) x

      Delete
  17. When I was at my absolutely worst I started this blog. I made a point of writing something every day. Believe me, when you have NOT LIFE, it's tough coming up with something every day. Sometimes I did something very much like what you did. However, once I decided I was going to post every day my life had Purpose. I really needed that. Like you, I was suffering from Chronic Fatigue. I also had kick ass migraines taking my name daily. But, this still helped. I hope that you find something, if not this, to help you rise above this. I'm pulling for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Robin,

      When you were at your absolute worst, you started my blog. Sorry, forgive my pedantic silliness.

      Seriously, my thoughtful friend, I totally respect and admire you determination to write something everyday. I know that your writing, the passion involved, is also a therapeutic outlet to verbalise your valid thoughts and feelings. I would struggle to, for instance, blog everyday. The reason being that I try to get to as many other blogs and comment as possible. I wouldn't be able to keep up.

      You have found a positive tonic that, despite your ongoing concerns, is true demonstration of how remarkable, how inspiring, you truly are. I am also cheering you on. Empathy is such a powerful gift.

      A peaceful, hopeful weekend to you, dear Robin.

      Gary

      Delete
  18. It's always good to hear from you, Gary, no matter whether you're writing from abroad or about one. In this case... both. It sounds like you and that cashier did a super job brightening the day for each other. And despite the inconsiderate guy who broke in front of the gal with only one item, and the inconsiderate bloke (See. I can speak Brit, too!) who didn't stack the basket correctly, brightening someone's day is the best thing of all. Let the happy trump the inconsiderate.

    I hope you're feeling better soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Susan,

      Thank you and it's good to be heard :) I just love subject to interpretation conversations I have with folks. Over here, it can become surreal as I go into zany overdrive. The precious moments where the interaction brightens our days and the days of those we meet, is such a positive result.

      That bloke was beyond a joke. One person starts the incorrect stacking of baskets. Often, the next person just puts their basket on top of the incorrect stacked basket. The result is a leaning tower of baskets. Baskets I readily fix during my temper tantrum. Happy shall always win over the inconsiderate. Thank you, my illustrious friend.

      Thanks and I'm continuing to challenge this bloody annoying fatigue.

      Cheerio and Corn Flakes. A jolly good weekend to you, Susan.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  19. Reading you always makes me smile, Gary. I love your writing style and the humor you apply to life, mostly when things are not as bright as one would like. Dragon Hugs, my friend. Dwarves send their best to Penny, the Jack Russel dog and modest internet superstar.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Al,

      I'm very glad I can make you smile, my legendary dragon friend :) I do try to write with a trace of tongue-in-cheek irony. Good therapy and fun to share. Thank you and the dwarves.

      Penny's alleged human,

      Gary :)

      Delete
  20. your one-liners cracked me up! a broad? no a male! ha ha ha
    thanks for the lightning er lightening post! you're doing great!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Tara,

      Thanks and note my broad smile and my cherry red lipstick :)

      Thanks for your enlightening comment!

      A well neat weekend to you, Tara.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  21. I understand this all too well. Fatigue is horrible. Your trip to the grocery was quite funny. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Shelly,

      You understand. Fatigue is tiring. A rather typical time at the grocery store for me. Thank you, dear Shelly.

      Hugs and British chocolate, your way,

      Gary

      Delete
  22. LOL! Love your quick wit!

    One of my pet peeves is when people don't stack the baskets properly. And the other day I was in Costco and I let someone with one item go in front of me but the guy in front of me wouldn't let him in front of him. The one guy had to wait for the other guy's huge order.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Birdie,

      That's most kind of you. Thank you.

      The leaning tower of baskets. Oh, how I hate that. Yes, I'm the guy who chucks the baskets all over the place and restacks them! That guy in front of the guy you let in, was a major butt head. A bit of consideration would be kinda' nice.

      Thank you, Birdie. Enjoy your weekend.

      Gary :)

      Delete
    2. Hey Birdie! I hope you read this. I cannot get to your blog.

      Gary

      Delete
    3. Hey Birdie! I hope you read this. I cannot get to your blog.

      Gary

      Delete
  23. I was behind you in that line, almost tripped the clueless rude man with the full trolley, but decided against that, because a new line opened way down at the last lane. He was fat and old, I am old but a quick-on-my-feet old and only a bit chubby. I saw you in your hat go out the door, and saw the thought bubble over your head. Tsk. Tsk. Gary!
    The transporter worked well that day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Susan,

      I thought that was you. Should of picked up on the clues. How patient you were with your adoring fans who wanted your autograph.

      Yep, me and the baseball cap with the bubble overhead. Time to beam you back, Susan....

      A good weekend to you and your loved ones, near and far.

      Gary

      Delete
  24. What is it with people who done put thing back as they found them? Who rush ahead of someone with one item? Why are they in such a hurry? What are they afraid they're going to miss?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Bish,

      Good points. Too many people rushing about and not taking a few moments to be decent to their fellow humans. They might be in a rush to watch, heaven forbid, "Britain's Got Talent."

      Have a lovely weekend, Bish. Say hello to your Grandfather clock for me :)

      Gary

      Delete
  25. Loved the post. A trip to the grocery and the observances - so typical for most of us. I always choose the slowest line and if I don't I'm the cause for the slowness. Never fails, something isn't priced, etc. Such fun, always.

    Keep up the good fight; I'm right there beside you, believe me!
    Sending lots of loving hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Yolanda,

      Very pleased you loved the post. Thanks. I'll make sure I'm not in the line up behind you :) Seriously, I know all about the items not priced correctly such as something that's supposed to be scanned through at a reduced price but comes up at the full price.

      We are both fighting the good fight. As you cheer me on, I cheer you on. Stay special, dear Yolanda.

      Hugs, love and hope, your way,

      Gary :)

      Delete
  26. Dude!

    That was a "so you" post :)

    Thanks for sharing and oh boy, I could go shopping with you and we'd have a blast... while scoping out the empty cashiers (although I'm sure they all have hopes and dreams :)

    PS...I'm no longing lei-ing in Hawaii.. I'm hanging with the virgins in -ia :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Sir Mazza dude n'stuff,

      You reckon? Yep, you'd be right that this is more of a typical me post :)

      We could run riot in Sainsbury's. We could go over at hurl abuse at the Old Rage Pensioners in the reduced price section who guard that section with hefty handbags and swinging umbrellas.

      A virgin in LA? That's a new one on me. Not literally on me, I should add. Welcome to LA, eh.

      A most neato weekend to you, my esteemed buddy.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  27. Definitely don't over think things - now if only I could take my own advice! My girls are always laughing at me checking my spelling and punctuation in a text message! I've got to head out to the supermarket in a little while, I wonder who I'll meet....

    When I was out in the States I was asked on more than one occasion what part of Canada was I from. Accents can be hard to pinpoint I guess.

    I wish you a good day, Gary. Thank you for your kind words on my blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Suzanne,

      You might just bump into somebody in the supermarket as you are texting a message down the frozen food section. "Hello, fancy bumping into you!"

      Maybe you said, "eh" a lot and got the American confused. Americans get confused easily. Did I really type that? Oops :)

      A good weekend to you, dear Suzanne. My honour to comment on your thoughtful blog.

      Gary

      Delete
  28. You've made me smile, Gary - something I don't normally do where supermarkets are involved. As for the self service checkouts - the one time I used one it kept telling me off! Never again! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Teresa,

      Pleased I could make you smile, Teresa :) Nothing worse that an obnoxious self service checkout machine! I'd probably load some Canadian coins in it and watch the darned thing blow up!

      Have a very nice weekend.

      Gary :) x

      Delete
  29. Hi Gary, you have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to beat the c*** (sorry I just can’t bring myself to write it – I’m a lady don’t you know!) out of someone. I hate rudeness and bad manners, and you can bet your life you will encounter both at the supermarket. Have you ever done the thing where you step aside to let someone with one item go ahead in the queue only to find her partner/husband/child/man next door coming up the outside with a trolley full of stuff? It’s happened to me on more occasions that I care to remember – I must have mug stamped on my forehead. Thank you for making me laugh (again), Barbara.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Barbara,

      You shock me with such thoughts! :) Yes, I've been conned like that. In fact, I let somebody in and the rest of the family, or some folks auditioning for the Jeremy Kyle show, barged right by me.

      Time for us both to have "mug" removed from our foreheads!

      Enjoy your weekend, Barbara.

      Gary

      Delete
  30. Your sense of humor sounds similar to my husband's! He's always cracking jokes like that with salespeople, servers, clerks...anyone who will listen!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Stephanie,

      My condolences to you :) Maybe your husband and I could do a comedy routine in the electrical department of Wall-Mart.

      Take care and have a fun weekend.

      Gary

      Delete
  31. Gosh, you sound like me.
    With a Canadian accent.
    Eh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Greetings Mr. Penwasser,

      Gosh, now you sound like me.
      With an American accent.
      Y'all.

      Delete
  32. Well, THAT was bloody predictable. I'll try to do better next time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mr. Penwasser, Part two, A New Beginning,

      Thanks for the bonus comment. Have a nice day! Doh! :)

      Gary

      Delete
  33. That was a fun conversation with the cashier, which seemed like the bright spot of all this. People can be very inconsiderate at the grocery store. Yay for the fast writing and posting. Just do it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Medeia,

      Indeed and no matter how crap I feel, I usually manage to make somebody smile, which makes me smile that they are smiling and just in case this becomes a run-on sentence, it will abruptly end. People can become totally different animals in the supermarket. Zippy writing, on and on, I hope :)

      Thank you, my kind friend. Hope you had a nice weekend.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  34. An exercise in stream-of-consciousness free writing is fun. And this one I can relate to. The trip to the grocery store at least. Not the specifics, but generally speaking. In my case I should probably be asking the cashier where she is from. She speaks Spanish very well.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Wrote By Rote

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lee,

      Free flow fun for all. I reckon a lot of folks could relate to this. Just a few adjustments to the scene and there you go. The cashier might actually be from Spain. Ole.....

      Thank you, good sir.

      Gary.

      Delete
  35. That was fun! Reminds me of some of my own thoughts at the supermarket which usually involve grumbling about how slow everyone else seems to be!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Deniz,

      Glad you liked it. People can become very slow. Especially at the checkout when they take an eternity to go fumbling through their handbag or wallet, to find the credit card, or debit card, or cash, or coupons or......

      Thank you, my kind friend.

      Gary

      Delete
  36. Great to see you posting Gary, I have a pretty good idea how hard that is to do at present. You have a wonderful streak of humour running through you that won't be defeated, no matter what is thrown at it and that means you'll always have friends and always have the capability to make people like that cashier smile and laugh, which then reflects back for you to catch and warm your hands on. Onwards and upwards dearie. *hugs* X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Michelle,

      Thank you, my lovely friend. Your perception, I'm sure, is most accurate. Humour and revelling in the irony that is life, does help me keep going. Your comment is notable. I always go out determined to make somebody's day. It make me feel good that they feel good.

      On and on and over the clouds :)

      Thank you, Michelle.

      Gary :) x

      Delete
  37. Ha, that was a fun trip. More so in the reading than the actual experience, I suppose. Some days I prefer not to talk to cashiers, or people in the store. Safer that way; they get no exposure to my sarcasm when they are acting like idiots.

    Not bad for a twenty minute writing post. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Donna,

      It was a fun trip, sort of. I'd like to of tripped that idiot with the full shopping cart. My chats with cashiers do depend on how many people are behind me. If nobody is behind me, they often get the full zaniness. Donna, I can not believe that you have ever, ever, ever been sarcastic in your life, ever! :)

      Twenty minutes of wondering WTF I'd written....Thank you, Donna.

      Gary

      Delete
  38. I think she was flirting with you ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Riot Kitty,

      They all flirt with me. Who can blame them with me being such a lovable charmer. Or something like that! :)

      Thank you, my kind kitty friend.

      Gary

      Delete
  39. You know, I love that in spite of your fatigue, you manage to maintain your sense of humor! Nicely done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sherry,

      I appreciate what you note, Sherry. I'm celebrating the irony, the humour that is life and making the most of it.

      Thank you, dear Sherry.

      Gary

      Delete
  40. Every time I get the shortest line, it has the slowest person on the cash register. My pet peeve is a person who stands there watching the food being tallied up, sacked, and placed in their cart. Only then do they realize they are supposed to pay, and they want to pay by check. This include looking for the checkbook: looking for the pen. Asking what the date is, and writing as if it's a long letter to mother. THAT'S the lane I'M in. My other pet peeve is that my pet peeves get only me upset. No one else ever seems to get agitated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Dana,

      I can relate to your situation at the checkout. Why aren't folks prepared beforehand, I wonder to myself. Y'all still write checks aka cheques. I'm agitated that you get agitated. Pet peeve sharing, it's all good.

      Thank you, dear Dana.

      Gary

      Delete
  41. Mr G you are a magnet for the great and good of that A to Z jolly. . . . How do you manage that its amazing. And weirdly the right hand side of your blog is bouncing up and down slightly while the comments stay still. . . How cool is that . . . Sorry I'm late I blame life and checkouts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mr. R.,

      I'm the alphabet magnet and this draws you here. The right side of my blog must be blog hopping. You typed your comment from the checkout and the person behind you is giving you funny looks! :)

      Thank you, Rob.

      Gary

      Delete
  42. Only you could make the mundane task of grocery shopping fun. I was hoping that you and the clever checkout girl had a romantic candlelit dinner in aisle 8. Maybe next time. Hope you feel better,soon, Gary!

    Julie

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    Replies
    1. Hi Julie,

      Quotidian grocery shopping. Oops, I forgot to mention the romantic candlelit dinner down aisle 8. Her husband didn't seem particularly amused. Thank you and I challenging this fatigue.

      Take care, Julie.

      Gary

      Delete
  43. Way to beat the fatigue.

    And I so identify with these lines: As soon as she's about to head to the checkout, some asshole with his full shopping cart, swoops in front of her and proceeds to put his stuff on the conveyor belt. In my mind, I meet the dude out in the parking lot and beat the crap out of him.

    Nowadays I take deep, calming breaths when something like this happens.

    Hope your fatigue is history. Sending you lots of healing energies, my friend.

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    Replies
    1. Hey Damyanti,

      Thanks and it's ongoing process trying to beat the fatigue.

      Deep, calming breaths does work. I went over to receptionist, grabbed the microphone and breathed deeply into the mouthpiece. I then rushed out of the store...:)

      Your healing energies are warmly embraced. Thank you, my lovely friend.

      Gary

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  44. That was funny. Who knew a grocery trip could sound like an adventure? I enjoyed your humorous responses with the clerk.

    Oh, and I also hate it when people cut in line, or someone with a full cart goes in front of people with only one or two items. Grr!

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    Replies
    1. Hi Chrys,

      It seems every time I go shopping, it turns into a surreal adventure. I just love the banter I encounter.

      Grr! and then some.

      Thank you, my kind friend.

      Gary

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  45. Typo-free almost to the very end, where you wrote "tipos" instead. :-P

    I also sometimes beating a line-cutter's head in. I think trolley rage is a thing and that I have it. Which is why I generally avoid shopping at all costs.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Misha,

      Indeed and a deliberate "tipos" :)

      Queue dodgers should be held at the store and forced to listen to the crap music playing over the speaker system for at least 24 hours. I'm off my trolley and I understand the rage bit.

      Thank you, dear Misha and happy writing.

      Gary :)

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  46. There are people I've known on a nodding basis for so long that we now stop and chat - about the weather, because we don't know each other and have nothing in common! And yes, I always whisper hello - I wonder why that is!

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    Replies
    1. Hi Annalisa,

      Ah yes, the one gets to the weather stage. Weather and England, a common topic :) Did you notice I wrote this comment in a hushed tone? LOL

      Thank you, dear Annalisa.

      Gary

      Delete
  47. Some folks just don't get it, handles, cutting in line, but your checker did! My husband does this in line at the grocery store and all the checkers know him now! So nice for them to have someone be nice. I don't use the self check lanes for exactly that reason, and, I know that for the one person helping in that area, three others got sacked or never had a chance (we have four self checkout counters in our store) and I can't promote automation over jobs in a grocery store. I don't have a choice when it comes to cars and such, but in my store, I do. This was fun to read Gary!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lisa,

      Some folks probably couldn't get less in their "ME, ME, ME" world. Your husband brings a delight to the checkers and a welcome respite for the idiots they encounter. You bet, I also think about the self-serve taking jobs away. Glad you found this a fun read, dear Lisa.

      Gary

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  48. See, all you need to do is buy some groceries to find out why there will never be peace on this earth. And as for your ridiculous fatigue... I can relate. Sarcoidosis has been giving me a neverending jet lag since 2011. Aren't we blessed?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Howdy Blue,

      It's a completely different reality in the supermarket. Never-ending jet lag is exactly what I told my doctor. I'm blessed to know you and may we both get over this tiredness crap. Kudos for you and your excellent posts, good sir.

      Gary

      Delete
  49. Take that and that! People make me even more tired than I already am. Darn people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Shannon,

      And then some more....Ignorant, selfish people really add to the exhaustion. I hear you, sistah!

      Look after YOU, dear Shannon.

      Gary

      Delete
  50. Well done, Gary! Sorry you're still dealing with that blasted fatigue. Ugh.

    I'm with you, I'd rather interact with someone than not.

    Elsie

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    Replies
    1. Hi Elsie,

      Thank you, my kind friend. The fatigue is starting to get very boring. Ugh, indeed!

      Interaction and polite chats can do wonders. Be well, dear Elsie.

      Gary

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  51. I had to chuckle as you have the same grocery pet peeves I do. My whole day can be ruined by people who leave the basket handles turned inward. I always wish I had the whole store to myself when I am there.
    I hope this landed a death blow on the fatigue. Take care, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Julie,

      A shared pet peeve. Of course, you get to the leaning set of baskets and arrange them correctly. The offending basket with the handles turned in is halfway down. People couldn't be bothered it out. The whole store to yourself happens here about 30 minutes before closing.

      Thank you and when I sort of catch up commenting in blogland, I might attempt another quickly written post.

      Take care, dear Julie.

      Gary

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  52. I'm sorry I'm late, Gary. I've been avoiding my computer. That and the cat keeps loving my chair. How can I move her???

    Hope you feel more energized soon. As for shopping rage, it's apparently very normal. At least it seems all my men folk suffer from it, and they're relatively normal. Relatively.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Joylene,

      You are never too late, my amazing friend. Grateful whenever you can make it here. Grab said cat and bribe her with the thought of getting a Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! poster.

      The energy is not quite back yet. Oh, if only I was the Duracell bunny. Maybe men folk should be banned from grocery shopping, eh.

      Thanks, dear Joylene. I'm preparing the parade in your honour!

      Gary

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  53. Hey Gary! That cashier sounds like she's flirting with you Man! I'm not sure about typos but it made me laugh. I hate when handles of a basket are left inward too.

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    Replies
    1. Hey Maurice,

      How are you, dude? They all flirt with me, man! :) I'm a walking bundle of charm, or something like that. People who leave the basket handles inward should be tied naked in the public square and pelted with rotting vegetables.

      Thank you, good sir.

      Gary

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  54. Hi Gary - I think I'd have said something .. in fact I know I would!! Wretched people .. I'd say the opposite of 'a broad' ... but then of course I'd only be referring to half the population .. and some on that side are quite nice!?!?

    Shopping is awful ... but we do it ... and on rare occasions go to the do it yourself scanners and almost always they want an adult around to supervise ... I wonder why, or tell me something completely inaccurate ... if they scan, they should know what's going on ...

    Still the weather's better and I had a lovely visit from Sharon and her grandfather ... and Leek came up .. I'm off for the summer ... lots to do - but not stand in too many supermarket queues ... cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Hilary,

      I have no doubt you would have been the epitome of diplomatic assertiveness. Aha and for no reason whatsoever, I just visualised the Norfolk Broads.

      There's a bit of an irony that the self-serve section is often overseen by a staff member. The scanning becomes even more of a nightmare if you have a reduced price item.

      The weather has improved. Although the heatwave we are supposed to be getting has exactly happened yet, as of Friday evening. I'm really pleased about your visit with Sharon and her grandfather. It's neat seeing somebody in 3D reality. Glad she talked a bit about Leek. She had a fascinating childhood here.

      I so hope you have a peaceful, pleasant summer, minus the supermarket queues.

      All the best, my lovely friend.

      Gary

      Delete

I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.