The Foul And The Pussycat.

There are mysterious creatures lurking in the garden  You may know of these creatures.  You see them on calendars, on birthday cards,  in documentaries and every other blog seems to mention these creatures.  Idolised and even worshipped by some, this creature, I believe, has an evil plan to rule the world.  Using a zoom lens and somewhat rushed, I managed to photograph the elusive beast.

Okay, you've worked it out.  Yep, it's a cat, or a kitty, or a pussy, or a pussycat.  Like I said, you may have seen those blogs with the pictures of cats.  Usually with a caption that goes something like this: 'Awe look at my cute little pussy'.  Fair enough.  I can understand why folks like a little kitty company.  In the house they purr away until they get fed.  Then they head out the cat flap.  That's when their 'free spirit' nature really takes over.
I've had quite a few problems with cats.  One of our neighbour's had a cat that thought my welcome mat was a really terrific place to have a wee.  Nothing like opening your front door and having the fresh aroma of cat piss wafting through your home.  I approached my neighbour and asked him to please do something about his cat.  His charming response, and for documentary purposes I quote : "Not my fucking problem..nobody owns a cat."  Then he ever so politely slammed the door in my face.  So a problem with a cat and a neighbour.  Pleased to inform you that after two court cases for anti-social behaviour, my charming neighbour was evicted.  His cat was captured by me and my landlord and re-homed on a farm.
I know it's cruel to keep a cat in the house.  I understand that cats like to go for a wander.  So here are some suggestions for people who have cats that can't be bothered with the kitty litter tray.  When kitty cat decides it's time to slip out through the cat flap; go out with the cat.  No, not through the cat flap..the door is the recommended route for humans.  If one is unable to take said kitty out then get an understanding friend or neighbour to take out the pussy.  Take along some plastic bags to pick up kitty's poo.  Heck, if it's three in the morning, one may get the urge to sit on the fence with the cat and let out an almighty screech which wakes up the entire neighbourhood.
Those mysterious creatures have been running wild in my garden.  I have tried several different remedies to keep those kitties from crapping in my garden.  Nothing has worked and the proof was in my re-cleared and re-soiled vegetable patch.  My iceberg lettuce was not a pretty sight.  I have a couple of more ideas, but, in the meantime, out of sheer desperation, I am trying the following plan.

  

Strategically placed in the vegetable patch; here is my secret weapon to combat the terror of the feline foe.  I shall call it  'Scarecat'.

Here is a night time photograph of Scarecat.  Sure hope this little plan works.  Knowing my luck, kitty cat will take one look at Scarecat and proceed to take a dump on its head.