Monday, 17 August 2009

Pet Shop.

So I went to the pet shop and asked the owner, "I would like to purchase a 'peeve' please."
I try to avoid overusing the conjunction word 'and' (apparently, 'conjunction', in grammar, means a connecting word 'and' is not an intersection where criminals meet). I try to be careful with 'and' because it can lead me into writing a 'run-on' sentence and that means that instead of using a comma or a semi colon or a period (full stop) I end up using 'and' and that is not good for before I know it I have written a sentence that goes on and on and on and you can take a breath now for this sentence that may seem to go on and on will not go on and on and on...Gasp! What a long sentence. Maybe I should get a 'long sentence' for crimes against grammar or the fact I am writing another one of my disjointed blogs.
My neighbour has asked me if I would tidy up his front garden. "Gary", would you mind cleaning up my garden? I'm tired of the neighbour looking over at my garden and giving me dirty looks like I'm some kinda' twat. " I reassured him, and said, "What makes you think it has got anything to do with your garden?" Nothing like getting along with your neighbours. Okay, my neighbour and his girlfriend burst out laughing. Luckily, they took it the right way. Have you ever seen anyone 'burst out' laughing?
My accent is somewhat different than the folks around here. Often people will ask me where my accent comes from. Well, I tell them that it starts down in the bottom of my throat and works itself out of my mouth. I'm thinking of setting up a business looking after mansions for really posh people. A kind of 'house sitting' service. The name of this business? 'Mind Your Manors'. The lady on the phone from my bank said, "May I have your name please?" I responded, "Sure, if you don't mind being called Gary. " Well, I did mention that this blog would be disjointed. Pretty darn good evidence that I am obviously bored and need a serious lie down.
So the rather perplexed owner of the pet shop told me he did not have a pet peeve. Now my pet peeve is the fact that the owner of a pet shop does not have a pet peeve. This blog could go on and on and on and....


  1. Wonderful. A 'gigglesome post'

    I won't say I burst out laughing but I did laugh out loud. That's quite rare.

    And the post could have gone on and on for me.

    It's nice to open up a blog and wonder what on earth is going to be said next; in the best possible way too.

    You have a marvelous 'out of the box' way of looking at things.

    I look forward to more.

  2. Dear Gary,
    Yet more wierd and wonderful insights from your, frankly, warped mind.
    But seriously, though, this is a seriously funny blog, Gary. I can only wish I had a sense of humour like yours.
    Keep on keeping on, friend.
    With Very Best Wishes,

  3. tHANKS,Gary, on top form ,lovely to read ,and very funny.Where does it all come from?Best left to you, and your incisive wit.Thank you for giving me a free smile.PEACE.

  4. and...and...well, i think...ah you just made my mouth say ah and..
    well, I really thank you gary for the pet... What is it again?


  5. Greetings John,
    I'm so pleased that this blog gave you a bit of a giggle. I reckon we all need to have a bit of a laugh.
    You, my friend, have done some hilarious blogs and are well worth a read.
    Thanks for your nice comment, John.
    Best wishes, Gary:-)

  6. Hi David,
    Thank you for noting that my mind is warped. Makes me want to be a commander on a space ship and get things up to 'warp' speed.
    David, you have a great sense of humour, I mean really, you tolerate me in three dimensional reality:-)
    Yours in warpiness, Gary:-)

  7. Hi david.s,
    Thank you for your 'top form' comment. It is most appreciated that you consider this blog very funny. A touch of laughter sure helps.
    I send you happy wishes, Gary:-)

  8. Hello Jun,
    ..and I think that I think and you know what..I am glad you like the pet 'peeve'. Feed it well and smile, my friend:-)
    Jovial wishes, your way, Gary:-)

  9. This blog has really made me laugh out loud! What a refreshing and amusing take on life you have my friend, Simon

  10. Hi Simon,
    Thanks so much for your comment. So good to have you back online. Hope we can see you blogging again real soon.
    In hope and laughter, Gary:-)

  11. Hi Gary
    I hope you're no longer bored... and a serious lie down banished the peeve. Quite funny!
    Kind wishes,

  12. Hello Dixie,
    I have had a not so serious lie down. I'm still bored but, what the heck, thumb-twiddling can be so much fun:-)
    In so far as the peeve..I think one might be scratching about by the letter box..waiting for any 'wee folk' intruders who might consider 'dropping in'.
    Thanks Dixie and I hope you have managed to get a decent rest.
    Kind wishes, Gary x

  13. Haha! That was such a great read, I knew you had a sense of humor but this post clearly displays it, I absolutely loved it :)

    Hope all is well; Tc

  14. Hi MMI,
    So pleased you enjoyed this blog. Laugh out loud. Hmmm..I wonder if I could laugh out quiet:-)
    I hope you are well and in good spirits.
    In peace and respect, Gary

  15. Hi Gary,

    Your post is exactly what I needed today. I have been surrounded of late by people who take themselves and everything else in this world too seriously.


  16. Greetings Roger,
    Thank you for commenting. Like you mention, folks can take life a bit too seriously. I believe we should celebrate the tonic that is laughter.
    Keep smiling and laughing,Roger:-)
    Sending you chuckles, Gary.


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.