I lost a big part of my life to depression. Completely engulfed with a panicky sense of negative inevitability. Such has been my state of mind, that the 'inner chatter' spoke to me of impending humiliation, embarrassment and failure. Defeated before I started, this man refused to see the warm, reassuring rays of sunlight, peeking through the dark clouds.
I have been there and, to some degree, I am still there. Everyday is a challenge as I pursue a better life. My hope, my optimism, battles the opposing forces that tell me I'm hopeless, helpless and pessimistic. Everday, I get stronger as my positive energy refuses to let my negative energy control my world. My life depends on it.
The challenge continues. Determined resilience beats strongly in my heart. For no matter how daunting, how overwhelming situations seem; I will continue to embrace, to nurture all that is good.
I am inspired and I am grateful. Inspired by the beauty all around and the simple, yet profound pleasures in life. I am inspired by those who, despite the trials and tribulations that life has thrown at them, continue to maintain a positive outlook. I am grateful for what I have and for the kindness of those who have encouraged and supported me.
I took the photograph at the top of this blog. There was a time that I would not have attempted such a task. Yet now, I look at that photograph, think of the lovely garden I created and I'm filled with a sense of contentment and happiness.
Life is so much what we make it. We do have choices. I choose to celebrate all my positive possibilities. My negative thoughts will grow weaker, for I make it so. I cannot stress enough, the power of positivity.
Gary,
ReplyDeleteMarvelous post! I am inspired by your gift of description; each detail forms in my own mind.
I cannot 'stress enough' how wonderful it is to have you as a friend and co-heart.
Respect and peace,
Dixie
I think this is where blogging can be so useful. Writing too.
ReplyDeleteI don't suffer from depression but do vere all over the place when it comes to self-doubt. Sometimes doubting I can do anything and at others feeling as though I can conquer the world.
It is not debilitating an the one feeds off the other and does make life interesting.
I've found that taking those thoughts out of my mind and putting them on 'paper' (well, the computer) helps to rationalise them.
Inside the mind they are too close for comfort. Outside, I can see them a little more dispassionately.
Writing is therefore a catharsis and without that wayward self esteem trait I might not write.
You seem to have found a similar solution and it brings a passion to your writing that you might not have without your demons.
Those demons can have a use.
Keep blogging Gary; always a pleasure to read.
You've come so far already, Gary and you're right the power of positivity is immense. We can achieve so much if we have the right attitude.
ReplyDeleteJulie xx
Dear Gary,
ReplyDeleteI know you continue to battle with those negative demons, but I must say that I find you alot more positive in your outlook than many. It's a difficult hill to climb, but your humour and intelligence is surely getting you there.
Anyway, so sorry that I didn't make it to our little meeting the other day with Emma and Nat. Female company. Chicks, dude, and I didn't make it because of my bad back! I'm sure, though, a good time was had by all even without your local media star/legend- me! Who was it who said I had delusions of granduer?
Yours with Very Best Wishes,
David.
Dear Dixie,
ReplyDeleteMy heart sings with positive joy when I receive such a wonderful reply.
You are one of those inspirational souls that keeps me focused on all the good that we can find in our lives.
Your determination and steadfast resilience, to what could be considered daunting circumstances, is testimony that we have choices.
Bless you and your inspirational, positive attitude.
In peace and empathy, Gary x
Warm greetings John,
ReplyDeleteWhat an excellent response. My friend, you have got it spot on with the 'demons' analogy.
Indeed, to get the thoughts out of our heads and expressed for all the world to see, is liberating and cleansing.
I firmly believe that through this power of expression, we can inspire others to understand that positive interaction and being here for each other, gives us all hope for a better life.
My demons? A bizarre blessing that have taught me a lot about myself.
Thank you John. Thank you for your latest blog that ties in so well with this topic.
With respect, Gary.
Dear Julie,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment. You have summed up beautifully that the right attitude and choosing positive possibilities, rather than anticipating a negative result, can help us realise a happier, more fulfilling life.
Happy writing to you. With warm wishes, your way, Gary x
Dear David,
ReplyDeleteThank you, good friend, for a most encouraging response.
You know that is my honour to be involved with ongoing projects with you.
Your strength and determination is inspirational. You could let negative aspects overwhelm you, yet you embrace, as best you can, the positive choices in your life.
I try to instil a bit of humour into my everyday life. Having a laugh with decent folks like you, makes the challenge of confronting my 'demons', so much the easier.
You were sorely missed at our little get together. I hope you are better now. I'm sure we can make another arrangement with Emma and Nat.
Heck dude, I even brought pen and paper for them, just so they could have my(whoops), your autograph!
All the very best,David.
With peace and respect, Gary.
Thank you for a glimpse into the beatiful world you have created and for your sharing, we can all learn from your strength in adversity.
ReplyDeleteCarole.
Hi Carole,
ReplyDeleteThrough my bouts of depression, I have tried to find a positive focus. My garden is a statement in challenging my negative side and creating something of beauty.
When I reconnected with my inner child, I regained my appreciation and curiosity for the world around.
Thank you Carole. I have great admiration for your ongoing writing endeavours.
In peace and respect, Gary.
You certainly can rise to the challenge. You have a beautiful soul and that is what is important.
ReplyDeletePeace...
Hi Jun,
ReplyDeleteThank you for such a nice comment. The beauty of the soul, the goodness of the inner self, is most assuredly the most important factor.
Sending peaceful wishes, your way, Gary.
First off thank you for coming to my blog. And may I say good for you on working to make every bit of your life better. I'm a true believer in a PMA (Positive Mental Attitude). Three years ago I raised 250K to start a new business and lost everything/ my house etc. I took up two jobs to keep my twins in the home they new since day one and I still do it to this day. I also found I start sentances with the letter I which is wrong but I love to be incorrect....Keep the faith "Life is what you make of it"...And remember Rome was not built in a day. I still love that one...
ReplyDeleteThe Black Widow....Love your blog.
Greetings 'Black Widow',
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting my blog and it was a pleasure visiting your blog.
What an inspirational note you have submitted here. Your sheer determination and resilience, is proof positive, that we do have choices in life. You have my utmost respect.
I love the fact you like to be, as you state, 'incorrect'. Writing anarchy..fantastic!
All the very best to you and thanks again for visiting.
With respect, Gary.
Hi Gary;
ReplyDeleteWhat a terrific blog again. It is very rewarding to see your determination in this battle. I am coming to understand about depression and how difficult it is to just let go. Keep up the good work because it truly is worth it and so liberating. Take care. We'll chat soon.
Hi Heather,
ReplyDeleteThank you taking the time to comment on this now 'archived' blog. That is where 'subscribe to follow-up comments' is very useful. That way, I was aware of you leaving your excellent response. Thanks, Heather.
With respect, Gary