Friday, 4 December 2009

A Cynics' Christmas Party.

"A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past; he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future." Sidney J. Harris, American Journalist.

A very reluctant, somewhat indifferent welcome to the 'Cynics' Christmas Party'. In a few moments, I will introduce you to the folks who bothered to show up to this little farce posing as some kind of Christmas party. You know, a Christmas party, like the office Christmas party, where everybody has a good time, smiles, laughs and says how wonderful you are. That would ofcourse be the same people who actually hate your guts but put on a false smile, through gritted teeth and wish you a 'merry Christmas' and a 'happy New Year'. Yes indeed a fine collection of 'workmates', one tried to get you sacked, one had sex with your partner and one stole a doughnut from your lunchbox.
I will now give you the great pleasure of meeting this happy lot. Ofcourse they don't know you, so they, unlike the Christmas parties you have been to in the past, have not had the chance to hate your guts. But hey, give em' time, no doubt, they will soon dislike you.
Sitting over there looking totally disinterested with proceedings is that big fan of Christmas known as 'The Grinch'. Now the Grinch is a bitter, cave-dwelling chap, who lives high up on a mountain just outside of a town named Whoville. He despises the warm-hearted 'Whos' and their nauseating love of Christmas. With his only companion, his dog Max, he plans to dress poor Max up as a reindeer, use him to pull his sleigh and steal all the trappings associated with the festive season. No gifts, no decorations, no Christmas. That would be right, wouldn't it?
Perhaps the Grinch might say hello to you. Perhaps not.
Sitting over there looking even more disinterested, if that's possible, is another lover of this jolly season. Let me introduce you to Ebenezer Scrooge. Maybe Mr. Scrooge will say something. Mr. Scrooge goes off on a rant: "Why I came here, I don't know. I could have been back at my office working out more ways to make even more money. On Christmas Day, I shall have that idle loafer employee of mine, Mr. Cratchit working. Christmas is just another day and I need to make more money."
The cynics' Christmas party has not been that well attended this year. Matter of fact, all who bothered to show up were these two fine examples of the Christmas spirit, or lack of. The wicked witch of the west was evidently stuck under a house, whilst Montgomery Burns was too busy watching Homer Simpsons' activites, or lack of, on his closed circuit television. Heck, we even tried to bring in an 'off-the-wall' comedian, to liven things up, sadly, 'Humpty Dumpty' cracked at the last moment.
You know what? I got this feeling that the Grinch and Mr. Scrooge are going to have a rethink about their cynical ways. I believe that soon they will discover that Christmas is so much more than gifts and decorations. They will learn not to be bitter and envious of folks who are trying to be happy. Happiness is a right for all of us....and that includes the Grinch and Ebenezer Scrooge.


  1. Klahanie,
    You have a way with words. (and I hate your guts, no just kidding)
    This is an excellent blog; thank you for sharing it with us.
    In peace, dcrelief

  2. Well hi there dcrelief,
    Thank you for your kind comment. Next years party for the cynics is looking for a better attendance. If you know of anyone who would like to join in the hate-filled festivities, please let me know.
    Thanks :-)

  3. Dear klahanie,
    Christmas sure is a funny time, aint it? And I mean funny peculiar, rather than the ha ha variety.
    Christmas seems to have lost its message of peace on earth and good will to all men, instead becoming a somewaht vulgar exercise in materialism. So, I'd be glad to join your cynic's Christmas bash and partake of the hate-filled festivities.
    That aside, I still hope you have a jolly decent and fulfilling boxing day eve, or, erm, Christmas.
    Yours with Warmest Wishes,

  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  5. Hi,
    Yeah, I know, I'm cheating a bit here. I thought, until I get back home to my own computer, I might as well republish this Christmas-themed blog from last year.
    Kind wishes, Gary (typing this from Durham, England) :-)

  6. You know the problem is I love Scrooge, I think his character is Christmas personified so I love this blog as I am a cynic! There is no single character that encapsulates the spirit of Christmas like he does. Christmas is about being together and sharing, not just about presents and Scrooge reminds of of this.



  7. Dear Gary,
    I considered not leaving this comment as I seem to have already left one. Confused? Yes, for a few seconds!
    Anyway, I would like to wish you a Merry "Cynical" Christmas which, despite the "hate-filled activities", I'm sure you will infuse with your usual wit and good humour.
    Now I must be off to polish my borbels, so to speak, for the Christmas tree.
    Genuinely hoping this is a happy time for you, Gary,
    With Very Best Yuletide Wishes,
    P.S. I hope to see you before the dreaded day, though.

  8. Hi Steve,
    Thank you for commenting on my 'republished blog' from last Christmas.
    Even though it was a, shall I say, a somewhat cynical slant on the festive season; I'm glad to note you embraced the underlying serious thought I tried to convey in this posting.
    Christmas cheers, your way, Gary

  9. Dear David,
    Sorry about the 'groundhog day' moment you might have experienced with this posting. So thanks for commenting, once again.
    I was using a friend's computer up in Durham and I thought it might be fun to try and republish a blog while I was away from home.
    Thank you for your warm thoughts regarding the festive season. No doubt you will see me before 'Boxing Day Eve' :-)
    With cheerful wishes, your way, Gary.

  10. Love this, Gary, I'm so glad you posted it again.


  11. Hi Suzanne,
    Thanks for that. I was hoping some folks might like some of my older stuff. Trouble is, when I republished it; it did not show up on other sites. In other words, I have no idea what the heck I'm doing:-)
    All the best Suzanne and continued happy writing.
    Kind wishes, Gary x

  12. Hello Klahanie,

    You have posted an interesting article. I also believe (same with you) that Christmas is so much more than gifts and decorations.

    Lets back to the genuine spirit of Christmas.

    If you have time, please review of my contemplation about Christmas at:

    Greetings from Indonesia

  13. Hello Tikno,
    Thank you for leaving a comment. I'm glad to know that you could relate to the underlying theme in this blog.
    Christmas is indeed so much more than gifts and decorations.
    I shall have a visit of your blog. Thanks again and a big 'hello' from England:-)
    Kind wishes, your way, Gary.


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.