Continuing To Stick With It.

I'm having a bit of trouble focusing on my blog.  I'm working on reinforcing my positivity.  Thanks to you 'sticking with me', for which I'm profoundly grateful, I'm going to do a repost that was titled, "Stick With It"  If you have read this before,  I hope you can 'stick' this one out.   I will continue to stick with it...

There was this guy I knew who had a bit of yearly school tradition.  The poor fellow ended up in twelve different schools in twelve years.  At the beginning of each school year he would glue himself to the head teacher.  'Why do you do that?' I asked.  'Well, my parents told me that I should always stick to my principals.'

I have no idea where this blog is going.  It might go for a stroll through the park and end up at a take-away restaurant and order a pizza.  Can you tell I'm typing 'off the top of my head'?  Now how awkward is that?

'Knock, knock!'  Excuse me, ...'someone's knocking at the door.  Somebody's ringing the bell.  Do me a favour, open the door and let 'em in...'  Well, perhaps not.  Okay, I'm back now.  Yet another 'door-to-door' salesman.  I told him I don't need a door and that there is no reason whatsoever that I require a 'shiny new knob'.  'Sir', he stated.  'I'm merely wanting to canvas you.'  'Canvas me?  What?  You want to turn me into some kind of tent?'  He gave me a perplexed look and rushed off.  So quickly that he almost forgot his door, complete with the shiny new knob.

Let me see if I can do something that relates to the title of this posting.  Ah yes, 'stick'.  Apparently, 'stick' can be something that holds two objects together. It can be a small thin branch of a tree.  You can 'stick out like a sore thumb' and end up in a 'stick-up' as you 'stick to your guns' whilst getting 'stick' for living in the 'sticks'.  You can even have a hockey 'stick' , a walking 'stick',  a 'stick' of gum and oh yes...something else...now what is it?  Hmmm...a memory 'stick'.  And speaking of walking sticks.  This shepherd told me he was really struggling.  'Why's that?'  I inquired.  'Just can't get the staff these days.  Nothing but crooks.'

Note my hand desperately clinging on to that wonderful object of alleged stickiness.  It is sometimes known as 'Scotch tape' or 'Sellotape'.  Let's just call it a roll of sticky tape.  Sticky tape, the gift wrapping nightmare.  I usually end up with a series of teeth marks on said sticky tape.  It's one of life's great mysteries that the beginning part of the tape magically blends into the roll.  Several teeth marks later and I discover that broken shred of tape that comes of the roll and sticks to my fingers.  Then, I start again, frantically searching for that elusive spot that indicates where the beginning part of the tape is now hiding.  Yep, one of life's great mysteries.  Along with the mystery of the missing pens, combs and socks.
 
Right then, that's enough of this.  I managed to stick with it.  I hope you were 'glued' to your computer screen as you read the musings of a man who tried not to get unstuck.  If you somehow managed to stick with it and read to the end of this posting...well done!

Welcome To The Future?

Well, here we are.  Yes indeed, we have arrived into the future.  You remember the future they told us about?  The big predictions?  We would all have a robot to clean the house, cook the food and satisfy our sexual fantasies.  Forget the last part of the previous sentence.  We would be dressed like the folks in 'Star Trek', or, at the very least, be wearing clothes made out of tin foil.  They predicted a manned landing on Mars by 1977. Some even claimed we'd have a man on the Moon by the end of the 1960's!....or compromise and attempt to land a man on the Nevada desert.  Yet, the biggest prediction was that we'd now being hovering about in flying cars.
I was really looking forward to having a flying car.  No more worries about worn tyres (tires) or paying, as they have here in Britain, 'road tax'.  Then again, when that day does arrive, and we fly up there in the skies, no doubt, we will have to pay 'air tax'.   Yes, I know, insurance rates will be 'sky high'.
I've always blamed this promise of flying cars on 'The Jetsons'.  A close second would be seeing that darned DeLorean car in, 'Back to the Future'.  And please, don't get me started on 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang'.

Of course, some of the predicted inventions have come to fruition.  Who could resist the 'affection' of a 'robot dog'?

And who wouldn't be charmed by this invention?  Ah yes, the blue robot cat.  Safe bet that a robot cat wouldn't be straying in my garden and crapping on my cabbages.

'Robot dog?' says Penny.  Don't worry Penny.  That's one invention that doesn't interest me.
Now, if only they could finally invent the 'Dick Tracy' watch.  They have?  Of course, the mobile phone.  That would be that really fun invention that lets you delight in overhearing those fascinating conversations of total strangers.  Welcome to the future?  Must go now and see if they have invented a non-stick frying pan that actually works.

Non-Stick Frying Pans.

Behold the 'non-stick' frying pan.  Pictured are the remnants of bacon and eggs that got stuck on a 'non-stick' frying pan.  In fact, according to my calculations, twenty seven full English breakfasts have been left stuck on our 'non-stick' frying pan.  Eggs over easy?  I don't think so.  More like, eggs wont turn at all.  And the spatula to aid in the removal and flipping of food in the 'non-stick' frying pan?   Forget it.  Suddenly, I'm thinking, to hell with it and start contemplating the merits of a chisel.

Each time I purchase a 'non-stick frying pan; the instructions are read meticulously.  "Don't put empty pan on a hot burner or in a heated oven.  Don't put a hot pan in cold water or pour cold water on it.  Leave to cool before washing in hot, soapy water.  Avoid metal utensils and do not use scouring pads, steel wool or abrasives when cleaning non-stick pans.  Always use plastic, nylon or wooden utensils.  Use a low to medium heat.  Too much heat will cause food to burn and may damage the non-stick surface.  Wash pan immediately after use. (What?  I thought I read a sentence above that noted to leave to cool before washing).  Leave parts to soak before trying to remove stubborn food residue."  Okay, done all that.  No joy.  Where the heck is the chisel and maybe a stick of dynamite?

And now for something that has nothing to do with the title of this posting.  I have noticed that solar lamps are not the most reliable of product.  Pictured are solar lamps, or, if you prefer, 'unsolar' lamps.  This is the unsolar lamp section of my garden.  Each non functioning unsolar lamp will, however, be utilised.  Each one will have a pretty little flower placed in it.  So all is not lost.

Sadly, the solar lamps that do work are being targeted.  The thing is that birds are no longer happy shitting on my head.  Birds now shit on my solar lamps.  Bird shit on solar lamp equals complete lack of cute glowing light.  I have a suspicion that birds and cats are conspiring against me in my garden.  Birds crap on the lamps.  Cats crap in my vegetable patch.

One more thing that has absolutely nothing to do with the title of this posting.  Have you ever noticed that the vacuum cleaner wont suck up that one piece of fluff?  You try several times.  Finally, you give up and stick the piece of fluff into your jean's trouser pocket, which is already stuffed full of used tissue paper.  You then put your jeans in the washing machine that keeps flooding and find all your clothes covered in fluff and tissues that you put in the washing machine that keeps flooding.

Pictured above is my latest 'non-stick' frying pan.  I have no idea why I bother.  Lets give it a go.  Would you like some breakfast?  I would kindly ask that you bring your own chisel and forget I mentioned dynamite...