Friday, 13 April 2012

"M" Is For Metrosexual.

I've been getting thousands of emails wondering why I'm not doing much posting these days.  Okay, slight exaggeration.  I got one phone call asking me if I still write a blog and if so, what was the name of it.  
Actually, during that incredible challenge about the alphabet that thrills me beyond any adequate adjectives, I've been rather proactive commenting on numerous sites who are involved in the A to Z Challenge.  This means that my own eagerly anticipated postings, have been few and far between.  
Anyway, because the hosts of that alphabet challenge have pleaded with me to do some postings regarding the alphabet, here is one for the letter "M".  I know,  if you're involved in that gosh darn fun challenge, you might be thinking, 'Wait a sec!  He's one letter ahead of where he should be!'  What the 'L'.

A number of folks assume that, "Metrosexual is a neologism derived from metropolitan and heterosexual, coined in 1994, describing a man (especially one living in an urban, post-industrial, capitalist culture) who spends a lot of time and money on shopping for his appearance."  Source: Wikipedia.   
However, there is another meaning to Metrosexual that precedes the commonly regarded definition.  'Metrosexual' is a person who has a bizarre sexual fetish regarding public transport.  In particular, subway and underground systems with the name "Metro" in them.  There are plenty of examples of rapid transit systems that have the word Metro in them and you will note the Metrosexuals eagerly clambering onto them and finding the location with the most advantageous vibration.  My favourite Metro system has the intriguing name,  "Belo Horizonte Metro", which is located in Belo Horizonte, Brasil.  
So, if you see somebody riding the Metro, who fondles the seats, insists on stroking the hanging overhead knobs, has a silly grin on their face and groans a lot, they may well be a Metrosexual   If someone gets on the London Underground and says they just love anything involving "The Tube", they may well be a Metrosexual.  If  you are talking to someone and they can't stop talking about their love of "BART" (Bay Area Rapid Transit), then indeed, they might just be a Metrosexual.  Metrosexual gives the name of that play, "A Streetcar Named Desire", a much deeper meaning. 


Okay, not exactly a Metro system, but a bus is a form of public transport.  This is the bus that goes to the big city from the little town I live in.  This can be a fun ride, as the roads are needing repair and those potholes can be an extra moment of Metrosexual joy.......
And to get it out of the way, there is neologism derived from Neapolitan and heterosexual.  Or "N" is for 'Neasexual'.  Neasexual is a bizarre sexual fetish regarding being covered in triple flavoured ice cream, whilst having an orgasm....

58 comments:

  1. I'll never be able to look at a city bus in quite the same way again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Delores,
      Or some of the grinning passengers :)

      Delete
  2. Dear Gary,
    Is that a "neologism" I hear? This sudden use of a big word has me stunned.
    But, need we really talk about your sexual peccadillos (there I go again!) in blogland? What would the wee folk think? Then again, I do remember that they have their own little transgressive sexual practices.
    Anyway, you may find the sick and unwholesome activities of the "metrosexual" funny, but I can assure you that being one is no joke (oops, did I give myself away there). And, I do not think this appropriate material for your blog, so shall be writing to Mary Whitehouse immediately!
    Yours, disgruntled and abashed,
    David.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear "disgruntled and abashed".
      Or, 'outraged in Tunbridge Wells', even.
      I knew you would be impressed and keep your 'peckerdildoes' out of this! And we don't want to be reminded of the 'dream sequence' involving the wee folks.
      Of course, this was a serious public service message about public transport. By all means, write to Mary Whitehouse. Should prove interesting, considering she's been dead, allegedly, for over ten years. And no, I'm not going to mention necrophilia, because that would be in bad taste.
      Now then David. You go and get some sleep. I shall be thrilling you with a comment on your site, within the next few hours.
      In kindness and a bus pass, your way, Gary

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. And evidently, so are a lot of the passengers on public transport :)

      Delete
  4. Gary, you have OUTDONE (as in "O") yourself with this one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Susan,
      "O" I thank you. Must go now and hop(literally)onto the bus....

      Delete
  5. I think I may be a Neosexual. Don't hate me. You are too funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi middle child,
      No problem and I think you are awesome. Kind wishes and a truck load of triple flavoured ice cream, your way, Gary :)

      Delete
  6. I want to rush out and get on a bus now to see if I can spot any of these knob stroking, grinning and groaning folk :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Teresa,
      What a great idea. If you do, take a camera and record it for You'Tube'.
      Kind wishes and um silly grin, your way, Gary :)

      Delete
  7. I just had to quickly rewrite my "N" post. I knew someome else would write about "Neologisms!" This was fun, and I'm so glad Lee sent me over! Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Julie,
      Oh no, I'm ever so sorry. Of course, this was mostly relating to the letter "M" and I added a bit of "N" at the end.
      I really appreciate you visiting my shy, humble and oh so unassuming site :) It was a pleasure visiting your terrific blog.
      In kindness, Gary

      Delete
  8. Hilarious! Appreciate that you are not providing a photo of Neologisms.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Alex,
      Ah yes and I didn't even make a reference to everyone's favourite "Neo" from "The Matrix".
      Take care and have fun with the alphabet.
      Gary

      Delete
  9. Ah but you can still be the wikipedia version of Metrosexual AND have ecstatic fulfillment on public metro travel services! What a win win situation! Yay! take care
    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Old Kitty,
      Sorry, I was just checking myself in one of my several full-length mirrors. And neatly dressed and looking totally awesome, I shall now head for the Underground.....
      "Going underground, going underground...."
      Have a lovely weekend.
      Gary
      x

      Delete
  10. NYC's Metropolitan Transit Authority has been sexy as long as I can remember. At any time, anywhere- on bus, train or ferry- you will find people having sex. I never connected the dots before but it all makes sense now. Thank you, Gary.
    Laura
    x
    :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Laura,
      I assume that the Staten Island Ferry is even busier during times of not so calm waters....You are very welcome. Kind wishes and a handy map of the London Underground, your way, Gary
      x

      Delete
  11. There must be thousands of people who don't realise they are in fact Metrosexual - that is surely cause for concern. A helpline should be set up by the transport companies who are exploiting this behaviour pattern.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mike,
      Great idea! 'For assistance in finding out which Metro line has the best swinging knobs, press one. For assistance in finding which buses have the worst suspension, press two. For general inquiries and to actually talk to a human, press three. When nobody answers option three, press four and find out that a recorded message tells you that, nobody is actually answering the helpline but are all riding around on the public transport.'

      Delete
  12. The rather fabulous Sir Tom Eagerly says:
    Reminds me of a chap I knew who started a sperm bank. It was a disaster because he only had two clients. One of them came on the bus and the other one missed the tube.
    Tally Ho! old boy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah Sir Tom,
      That's a very good story you recollect. Perhaps this chap would like you to kindly make a deposit at the sperm bank. Hopefully, that chap wouldn't cream off the profits. There you go, my 'Big Wank Theory'....
      Tally No! old boy.

      Delete
  13. I'm with David, it's cars and trucks from now on. Which actually won't be hard because I haven't been on a bus since 2002. Nor do I plan on riding on one any time soon. You, my fine fellow, are totally and irrefutable awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Joylene,
      You're with David? Okay, the secret's out! :) Ah yes, you in a 'flash' car and a 'pick-up' truck. According to my um sources, the Millennium Line on SkyTrain is a very nice experience.
      Thank you for such a fine compliment. Your cheque's in the post :)

      Delete
  14. Ugh, BART...I used to ride BART every weekday for 3 years. Such a grind. Because I lived at the end of what used to be called the Concord line, I would always fall asleep and someone would have to shake me awake. Pretty embarrassing.

    As for Metrosexual, your description left me thinking about that scene in Risky Business where Tom Cruise and Rebecca DeMornay had some kinky fun riding the L in Chicago. Hey, it fits!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Nancy,
      And skilfully avoiding any innuendoes in regards to riding "BART" or "grind", I shall move rapidly transit on.
      I rode BART once when I had the most wonderful time in San Francisco. I also had a fantastic time on a Cable Car....
      And didn't they have one "L" of a ride in Chicago....
      Thanks Nancy and happy alphabeting :)

      Delete
  15. You have brightened my day, Gary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Susan,
      Thank you, I really appreciate that. All the very best with the alphabet challenge :)

      Delete
  16. Are you just funnin' us? Or is this real? What does this have to do with my infatuation with the Metro Rail here in L.A.? I can't seem to get others to share in the same excitement I feel about taking the Metro Rail downtown. Could I possibly be (shudder) a Metrosex addict.


    Lee
    A Faraway View
    An A to Z Co-host blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Lee,
      Nice hat and shades, dude. This is real. And the wonderful reality is that you have thrilled yourself by gracing my site with such an admission. Well done for your honesty and you might like to check out your local support group in LA for those who just cannot resist the swaying of an overhead knob.
      Kind wishes and a have fun on "The Metro(Expose)Line, your shy, humble friend, Gary

      Delete
  17. Oh Gary. I knew I was dubious about metrosexuals but, after this inspired post, all I can say is eeeeeuw. And my mouth is puckered up too - and it isn't puckering up for a kiss either. Good one, in a rotten squalid sort of way. Still laughing.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hi The Elephant's Child,
    What a result! I'm thrilled that this rotten, squalid, bordering on obscene, posting, brought you a modicum of enjoyment. Kind wishes and thoughts of "Metro Light Rail trams", your way, Gary :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Teehee! I'm glad we don't have any subways or streetcars here! I rarely take the bus so I don't have to worry much about encountering these individuals!! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jemi,
      Be careful, evidently some of those um individuals, out of desperation, due to lack of subways and streetcars where you live, have been buying up huge stocks of toboggans as alternatives. I'm so kidding, eh :)
      Take care, happy writing and enjoy the alphabet challenge :)

      Delete
  20. lol this made me giggle as I'd never thought of an alternate meaning...I'm going to try and be more observant on public transport in future

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi G,
      With your brilliant lateral thinking, I reckon you will come up with some alternate meanings to a variety of things. In time, I bet you would of thought of this one. Absolutely, be more observant on public transport. Just think what you might see and um put into practice :)
      Take care, friend.

      Delete
  21. Does salivating at the leather seats in a limo count? Or is there another name for that..... Maybe leather fetish in a limo?
    Loved your post. It was a "Lulu." (1920's expression)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Manzanita,
      I suppose expressing oneself with some salivating of the limo's leather seats would count if the chauffeur was not watching the road, but was looking through the rear view mirror at what was going on in the back on the leather seats and proceeded to duplicate such actions on the fake leather aka cheap plastic seats on the local Metro, as the chauffeur headed back to their one bedroom apartment in a questionable part of town. How about that for a run-on sentence?
      And "Lulu" reminded me of this, "She's the kind of smartie who breaks up every party,
      Hullabaloo loo, don't bring Lulu, I'll bring her myself."
      Thanks Manzanita and have a great time with the challenge I'm not doing :)
      In kindness, Gary

      Delete
  22. trekking your blog!!! thanks for the info! this is the first time i heard this word. hehe

    cheers!
    ..TREK..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi icedgurl,
      How cool are you? :) Captain's blog, stardate 15 4 2012, supplemental entry.
      Always glad to inform somebody of a new word :)
      Cheers to you and happy writing,
      Gary

      Delete
  23. Most alarming - and this post has made me very pleased for the fact I no longer travel by public transport (not after a nasty incident with a stranger falling asleep on my shoulder on a bus in 1981).

    Take care.

    XX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Suzanne,
      Oops! That was you? Sorry about that. You should of given me a right good poke in the ribs! LOL
      Take care Suzanne and happy writing :)
      Gary
      xx

      Delete
    2. You've certainly taken us all on an unexpected ride here, haven't you? And here, I thought all the perversion went on on the bus STATION. Live and learn, live and learn.

      Delete
    3. Hi Susan,
      And some might say, the bumpier the unexpected ride, the better. I wasn't aware of any perversion at the bus STATION :) Although I was aware of the perversion that occurs at the one night BUS STAND. Thanks for the information, Susan.
      All the best with the alphabet challenge.
      Gary

      Delete
  24. I'm way too late, but I love the A-Z idea and think I'll do it anyway!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jaye,
      Actually, I'm way too late, also. I'm not actually doing the A to Z thingy ma jiggy. Even though the hosts, begged, pleaded and shower me with compliments, I'm just doing the occasional, usually satirical, sometimes serious, musings on the whole thing. The irony is that, in my own insignificant way, I've brought further awareness of the A to Z thingy ma jiggy :) I reckon you can have a blast with this doing your own tongue-in-cheek angle.
      Good to see you doing a bit of blogging again. Blogsville needs you!

      Delete
  25. haha! I'll never look at the tube the same way.

    Jai

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jai,
      Now then, note my restraint as I try not to turn the word "tube" into some kind of rude innuendo :)

      Delete
  26. Hi Y'all,

    Just stopped by to say "hi" and see how y'all are doing.

    My Human said to tell you she will never look at public transport the same way again! Thanks heavens we live in very rural areas where there is no such thing as "metro".

    Hope y'all have a great week!

    Y'all come by now,
    Hawk aka BrownDog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Howdy Hawk,
      We are doing fine, y'all :)
      Um, maybe your human has a bit of curiosity happening and would like a day trip out to the big city. Or, maybe not!
      Thanks and we hope y'all have a positive week.
      In kindness, Gary

      Delete
  27. Makes a fellow feel kind of bad for metrosexuals who live on ranches and such where they have to make do with horses and tractors.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Snowbrush,
      Your reputation precedes itself. All good stuff, of course :) Very nice to meet you.
      I suppose if they had a horse and wagon, they could really get into it. Or compromise and buy a Ford 'Mustang'. And the tractor might actually be a combine harvester and we wont go any further with that one....
      Take care and may the magic of the written word, continue to inspire you.
      With respect, Gary

      Delete
  28. Wow. Don't know where to start praising your extreme gift in the art of the pun. You, my dear friend, are one clever fellow. I always leave here with a stupid, silly grin on my face, and the need to explain to innocent by-standers in the coffee shop why I'm crying myself silly while laughing my ass off. It takes a unique sense of humor to accomplish that. And you've got it in abundance. Thanks for sharing with your grateful audience.
    As always, thanks for your visits to my place, and your always dear comments.
    Tina @ Life is Good
    Co-Host of the April A to Z Challenge
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z #atozchallenge

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Tina,
      Why thank you. Of course, it's all good, clean pun. You, my dear friend, have created quite the visual. Inside a coffee shop with a stupid, silly grin, crying yourself silly and laughing your ass on. Interesting and quite the talent! :) Then again, what the heck's in the coffee..
      I do endeavour to comment on a lot of blogs. I sort of go on a blogging tour and if you get overlooked, every once in a while, it's because I'm leaving my 'eagerly anticipated' comments on all those other sites. My pleasure to visit your site, Tina.
      Hope all is well with you and your loved ones.
      In kindness, and a poster of the London Underground, your way, Gary :)

      Delete
  29. Ah ha! Now all has become clear. The Russians are not staring at me on the Moscow Metro. They are in the midst of some sexual tantra induced trance! Eeeew, not sure which is worse! Ha ha, funny post Gary. I'm nearly caught up with your postings. Working my way through April :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey GEM,
      And now you know the 'truth' about what really is happening on the Moscow Metro :) Of course, with such elaborate surrounding at the Moscow Metro, it gets the Moscowsexuals, I mean Metrosexuals, in quite the mood for a bit of underground action.
      I appreciate you taking the time to go through my April postings. Very kind of you. And with that, I'm heading for the 'Tube' :)
      Take care and stay warm.
      Gary
      xx

      Delete

I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.