This will be a naked blog. Before you visualise me typing away, minus clothing, this blog has nothing to do with physical nudity. I am beginning to question, once again, my place in the world beyond my front door.
I bare to you the inner turmoil, the sense of confusion, that lurks beneath my perceived bravado. I became a recluse when life immersed me with disillusionment. When I finally released myself from a self-imposed mental prison, the experience of freedom was exhilarating.
Yet lately, reminders of what life used to be like have begun to repeat in an ominous fashion. Perhaps it is not realistic, but I want to live in a world devoid of people 'politics' and inappropriate 'mind games'. Sadly, I have witnessed situations in my new life that have left me stressed, confused and disappointed. This has become a profound challenge to my vulnerable confidence. I am scared but I will not give up. Clinging onto inspirational moments has been vital in my ongoing journey to a more positive life.
Even though recently I have felt undermined and disrespected; I challenge that feeling. I feel the stress, I sense the tension and I know I will do my utmost to not let it destroy my morale. For through my resilience, I wish to give hope to my new friends who have also been undermined and devalued. I will not be strangled by quilt for having the courage to do what I know is right. I draw strength from the support of those who are sincere to me. Anxiety nearly killed me, this man chooses to live on.
Tomorrow, when I go out the front door, I walk out stronger and even more determined. Ideally, any frustration that happens in my private, personal life must not follow me out that front door. I will learn to be assertive, hopefully without arrogance, to the people I meet in my daily life. If only I could be assertive to those I love.
In the naked inner-depths of my mind, lies the bare essence of who I am. Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem will not defeat my naked reality. Undaunted, this recent 'pothole' along my road to recovery, has been driven past...Gary moves on. May your journey be positive.