Thursday, 27 June 2013

It Wasn't A Career Choice.

You may have noted, if you are somebody who has kindly been reading my last few postings, that they are bordering on surreal.  An attempt at lateral thinking humour.  Not that I constantly think about laterals.  Although I did take a lateral once from the quarterback and ran over one hundred yards for a touchdown.  I was good at that type of football and we played according to Canadian Football League rules.

I rearranged my bedroom a short time ago.  Moved the wardrobe to a different location.  Put the bed by a different wall.  Went to my bedroom that evening and never bothered to switch on the light.  I jumped into bed.  That would be the bed that wasn't there because I'd forgotten I'd moved the bed.  I crashed to the floor.  On the way to the floor, I knocked my left shoulder on the wardrobe I suddenly remembered was also in a different location.  Yes, ouch!   The next night, I remembered to turn on the light switch.

Writing is my therapy.  There are times when life is at its most challenging and discouraging.  I attempt to instil a bit of light-hearted banter.  I hope that the distractions I thus write are also a bit of comfort to anybody who might be having a struggle.  Trying to make sense of what might seem a senseless situation.

I didn't make mental illness a career choice.  When the teacher asked us, "What do you want to be when you grow up?", one said, "airline pilot", one said, "doctor", another stated, "nurse".  I did not declare, "I want to become mentally ill and become a virtual recluse!"  I actually said , "I want to be an entertainer!"  The teacher smiled.  The class laughed.   An overwhelming negative environment can take its toll on the most resilient of us.  I have and continue to challenge elements that would have the audacity to sabotage my right to a peaceful, positive life.

Recently, I endured a most frightening time with a series of hospital visits.  I endured being summoned in for a face-to-face medical assessment that was to question my illness.  An assessment that occurred only a few hours after I'd had a biopsy in a bummer of a location. I proved my case and the benefits I wish I didn't need,  were awarded to me.  Two months later, the forms I had to fill in to get my benefits, have started all over again.  It's like being in a benefits nightmare "Groundhog Day".  Just when I was starting to feel better, the anxiety starts again.

And with the gentle music of nature's orchestra playing through the wind chimes, I ponder....I calm down..  Thank you for being here.

115 comments:

  1. We all do what we must in order to remain sane. I totally get where you are coming from with these comedic postings. In fact, I gave you a shout out on my last post. I, too, was giving folks a tour of my "mental process." Some would call that a mental breakdown, but I prefer *process.*

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    1. Hi Robin,

      Indeed we try. I know that I had a choice when the depths of madness called my name. I chose to live and I started to live again back in the summer of 1998. Attempted comedy can be the tonic to get us through the challenging moments. I know you understand that shared transparency can be a gift for others to perceive in their own way. I appreciated that shout-out and your senses are spot on. A tour of your mental process I would call a realisation that you are multi-faceted. I know that life can be complicated when we crave simplicity. I had a nervous revelation.

      Be well and thank you, Robin.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  2. Gary, I wish you all the best in trying to get through the governmental red tape and take comfort in the knowledge that we, your blogging buddies, are here for you.

    Your sense of humor and whimsical attitude make for a very entertaining blog, for sure.

    All the best to you, my friend!

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    1. Hi Mark,

      Thank you, good sir. This might sound familiar. The British government through austerity measures, are targeting the poor, the sick, the vulnerable, to pay for the mistakes of the incompetent fortunate. Thus, here I go again with more red tape that is nothing short of mental cruelty to me and so many others.

      Your words are greatly appreciated. The humour and tongue-in-cheek banter within my postings and through the comments, is a most positive coping mechanism.

      Thank you, Mark.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  3. Hi Gary - I can't believe you're back to form filling .. it must feel like a nightmare a worse one than the real jumping into bed space without the bed ..

    I'm glad that writing helps and getting the words here at least gives you something different to think about with our replies .. if only the veil of darkness could be lifted for a decent length of time ...

    The wind chimes, bird song will lighten your mood somewhat ... is the rearrangement just for a change, or to take into account feng shui or some Eastern thought ...

    The career choice could make a good tv programme, or movie ... but that's not fair on so many people who struggle with mental illness ... my thoughts and I do hope there are peaceful times ahead ...

    With thoughts and best wishes from down south .. Hilary

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    1. Hi Hilary,

      I think I'd rather jump into a bed that isn't there. Just when I was beginning to relax, the forms start all over again.

      Thank you and I do consider writing a therapeutic, cathartic resource. The replies and my trying to work out a reply certainly add to the kind interaction. I always visualise the better times. I thought I was back in them. It will happen again.

      The distractions of life beyond the computer, do give me a sense of contentment. I think my feng shui went slightly wrong :)

      I think a TV show that brought further awareness and made people realise that it can happen to anybody, would increase the understanding and reduce the unfair stigma.

      Thank you, Hilary, for your thoughtful comment.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  4. Light hearted banter is good for the soul and the mind I find. Not to diminish our worries but to help us cope with them on a daily basis. I wish you a good day, Gary. Your posts reach out to many and offer comfort. Sometimes a few kind words make all the difference on a bad day.

    I like the new photo, the way the sun glints on the sea is beautiful.

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    1. Hi Suzanne,

      I totally agree with that. It's a good coping strategy and does hopefully ease the burden of the challenges we encounter that seem beyond our control. My goal is to reach out. If somebody can relate and find some comfort, then that's a most welcome outcome. A sharing of hopes, dreams and ideals, can work wonders.

      Thank you, Suzanne. I'm delighted you like my new header.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  5. I'm sorry, Gary. :( Your posts do help me through a hard time, and I hope that writing them and reading the comments helps you in some way, as well. I hope that those of us who read your blog can give you back a tiny bit of all you give us. Be well, my friend, and have some extra snuggles with sweet Penny.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

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    1. Hi Shannon,

      You are very kind, dear lady. My ethos has always been to be here for you as you are here for me. The writing is therapy. I try to somehow make some sense of things. It helps so much that I am graced with so many caring comments. Your words are cherished, Shannon. I shall give sweet Penny some extra snuggles.

      Thank you, Shannon.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  6. I'm so sorry you have to go through this form filling nightmare again. Just remember, you got through it the last time, and you'll get through this as well. Like Mark said, your blogging friends are here for you. :) I've noticed that many entertainers/comedians struggle internally. Sometimes it's easier to make other people smile, it takes the spotlight off our own troubles. I understand. But you're not alone, hang in there, Gary. (:

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    1. Hi Elise,

      Thank you for your warm, encouraging words, dear friend. Indeed and during the most hectic of times due to hospital visits, I somehow got the forms off before. I'm shell-shocked that I have to fill in the forms in again only two months after getting awarded with the help I deserve. I will pull through. I always do. I just don't need the hassle. Who does. I am heartened that you and all my other bloggers friends are here for me :) It gives me added resilience. The analogy is something about the tears of a clown. Yes, I try to redirect the worries and hopefully bring some light-hearted banter we can share. Thank you, Elise. Yes, when we help each other, we help ourselves :)

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  7. You are just what you wanted to be - an entertainer, and an excellent one at that. I know just what you mean about the blog being helpful therapy-wise, and it's a fine place for the support of friends, of which you have so many you're a millionaire in mates-terms. Ideally you'll be a millionaire in monetaru terms too, because when I win Euro millions I'll make you one. Keep smiling and keep writing xx

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    1. Hi Michelle,

      Thank you, my dear friend. Just like your good self, I do try to bring a little bit of entertainment, a touch of irony in this crazy world. I know you relate to the therapy that a blog can be. It also demonstrates the caring I have been bestowed with. I'm most grateful to you. We are rich in personality and when you win the Big One, I'll be your bestest friend, ever. LOL.

      I shall smile and write, even through gritted teeth :) Thank you, Michelle.

      In kindness,

      Gary xx

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  8. You are an entertainer, you make me smile! Sorry about the medical forms and benefit nightmare. Hope you wake up from it soon.

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    1. Hi S.P.,

      Lovely to have you visit. Thank you. If I can make you smile, then your gift of a smile is returned with a thankful smile :)

      These forms are the stuff of nightmares. I hope I wake up on my bed and not the floor.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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    2. I don't know about medical forms so much but we've filled out adoption forms a few times (looking for child number three) so I do know about nightmare paperwork in general. It is kind of like Groundhog day, now that I think about it.

      Delete
    3. Hi S.P.,

      Thank you for the follow-up comment. Oh yes, the filling in of forms and then the refilling in of the same forms, just a few months after you filled in the forms, can make you feel you're in Groundhog Day, or some sort of bizarre parallel universe. You have my understanding.

      Happy Sunday to you,

      Gary

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  9. Oh Gary. I am so so sorry. You were going through medical mayhem at the same time we were last time too. I will keep everything crossed for you.
    And, in case you had even the smallest iota of doubt - YOU ARE AN ENTERTAINER - and a fine person as well. Double benefits for all of us that know you and interact with you.

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    1. Hi Sue,

      Oh do I know how much you relate to this crap. Why do they insist on tormenting those who need help. Thank you for your wishes.

      I appreciate what you've said and may the entertainment continue to be a magical shared experience. Double benefits to us who are decent folks. And jail to those who got us into this mess.

      Thank you, Sue.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  10. You do entertain us. You did achieve your goal.
    If sharing yourself and your wit on this blog helps, then continue to do so. You are not alone, because we are all listening. (Reading anyway.)
    And really sorry you are caught on the government forms and red tape carousel.

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    1. Hi Alex,

      Thank you, good sir. Indeed, no matter what, my goal of interacting and hopefully bringing some good natured banter, has worked better than I thought possible. Since the inception of this blog, the aim was to be here for others. To create comfort and to write variety as a positive resource. It does help to utilise the passion that is the written word. I am most heartened that I'm not truly alone. The sharing and candid interaction is a profound tonic.

      I so wish this carousel would stop. I'm getting dizzy.

      Thank you, Alex.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  11. Sometimes this world does not treat us right, but we plod on and always, always must look for the rainbows. They are out there.

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  12. Hi Arleen,

    Thank you for backing up what I alluded to in my posting. May the rainbows in your life be full of vibrant colour.

    In kindness,

    Gary

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  13. No one can understand your situation better than you, but it is good to have others there because sometimes, thing just get a bit rough. Chin up, feet forward and every once in a while, enjoy the wind chimes.

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    1. Hi Angela,

      Yes, we are the experts of ourselves. The support of others is powerful and makes the rough, not as rough. The wind chimes soothe my soul.

      Thank you, Angela.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  14. Fun indeed at your feed and pfffft to those fools, it is like they are a bag full of tools, having to do the same over and over again, just to give them something to do at their den.

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    1. Hi Pat Hatt,

      Fun indeed
      Is what we need
      Those political fools
      Who make the rules
      Can kiss my ass
      As all things must pass
      They make me dizzy
      Don't need this tizzy.

      Thank you, Pat and all of that.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  15. Oh Gary....prayers, hugs and chocolate to you.

    Shelly

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    1. Hi Shelly,

      Prayers, hugs and chocolate are thankfully received.

      Thank you, Shelly.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  16. Well you are an entertainer now with your blog, so dream achieved. I wanted to be shortstop for the Detroit Tigers, but something tells me that's not going to happen.

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    1. Hi Pat Dilloway,

      I do my best and it's going well on the blogging front. I'm lucky like that. Aha, play ball, Pat. Maybe not shortstop for the Tigers. How about team mascot....

      Thank you, good sir.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  17. My son said he wanted to be a hero paramedic like on the show 911, and his teacher and the class laughed. It's stayed with him, and hurt deeply.
    Writing is where I find my voice, and writing nonsense is the way to keep all the demons at bay!
    I fell in love with Alaska because of all the folks I met - the outcasts, made me feel like I finally belonged. I think the blogosphere does the same.
    When you fill out the paperwork, keep copies - that way filling out the 100th one will be so much easier, if all you have to do is copy. :)
    Sorry, this horrible journey is not yet over.

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    1. Hi Yolanda,

      I'm so sorry to read of your son's horrible experience in the classroom. Such situations can have a lasting resonance. I hope he has worked through it.

      You are so correct. The writing is the voice of so many facets of your personality. And writing incoherent, disjointed sentences certainly helps me. Back off demons!

      Alaska seems a place where you found yourself. As in discovering more about you. The blogging community is a shared sense of learning and the celebration of diversity.

      Oh yes, I shall have photocopies of my photocopies. I'm just infuriated that I'm having to do this all over again. The journey makes me think I've turned into Bill Murray in Groundhog Day! I shall get through this. I always get through. Thank you for your support and goodwill. I shall be replying to your email tomorrow.

      Thank you, Yolanda.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  18. Gary, I honestly believe you have many strengths that are beyond what you recognize in the mirror. You are honest, loyal, funny, smart, and you are by far one of the best entertainers I know. You entertain with words, that makes you an entertainer. So, kudos for reaching your dream!
    (And are entertainers a bit peculiar? This world can be tough on geniuses!)

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    1. Hi Elizabeth,

      I thank you for that, dear lady. I have done my utmost to believe in my abilities. Those who have undermined me, disrespected me, took a toll on my self-esteem. I cannot allow that and I shall continue to move on from this latest setback.

      Sometimes I wonder how I even manage to type. I just do what I can to make writing a distraction that I hope is truly the shared experience I so desire. I believe, despite it all, that the dream of having some fun doing this, has been realised. You know you inspire with your witty posts on your delightful site, Elizabeth.

      Ah yes, such a tough life for the geniuses! :) Thank you, Elizabeth.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  19. I chuckled at your mishap in the bedroom. See this is why I don't rearrange furniture.

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    1. Hi JoJo,

      I chuckled at my bedroom mishap. Well, once I got back off the floor and actually realised I'd rearranged the bedroom. Switching on the light might of helped. Or not rearranging in the first place, might have been a good idea.

      Thank you, JoJo.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  20. Gary-- I love your tender humor, your honesty, your willingness to talk about the difficult and your ability to reach out and give virtual hugs all the time. No matter what you write-- whether it be serious or humorous, it is written with your audience in mind, great skill, and a transparency that helps us all be able to take a look inside and not feel so alone. So glad you write.

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    1. Hi Julie,

      Your kind words resonate with a warm candour. I'm grateful for that. From the outset of my blog, the ideal has been to be there for others in a shared experience. No matter how bad it gets, I find the good in a bad situation. I know a lot of people are hurting. If my transparency provides more understanding and brings comfort to somebody, I'm inspired and heartened. We are all here for each other. That is powerful. Wishing you and your loved ones, a peaceful weekend.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  21. Hang in there good sir, the world is a fickle place, only a few ever make it to the careers they wish. And your entertaining blog would not be the blog it is if you were not you, and it must be damn good just look at your comments and regular followers.

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    1. Hi Rob,

      Thank you, kind sir. In an ironic twist, having mental health concerns, actually got my passion for writing rekindled. After years of workplace bullying, which nearly destroyed me, I ended up on the sick and started writing again. I'm blessed to have so much interaction on my site, Rob. I'm grateful to you, my friend.

      Wishing you a happy weekend.

      Gary

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  22. You said you wanted to be an entertainer...and you are my friend. Your blog (and your comments on our blogs) are wonderfully entertaining. I am proud to call you my friend.

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    1. Hi Keith,

      Thank you, good friend. I've tried to demonstrate some form of entertainment from many a different angle. The underlying theme has always been that my mental health issues are only a small part of who I am. I embrace the ideals of positive interaction, Keith. My honour to call you my friend.

      Wishing you and your loved ones, a joyous weekend.

      Gary

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  23. I find poetry writing a therapy for the ups and downs in life.
    That and the music that's all I really require from life.
    I enjoyed your post and the bit about re arrangeing your bedroom reminded me of my late husband, I rearranged the bedroom whilst he was at work, as he didn't get home until midnight I forgot to tell him. I was awoken up with some unrepeatable words.
    Yvonne.

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    1. Hi Yvonne,

      I can sense, very much, that writing and poetry are therapy in your life. And you share your therapy with us. The music you love captures the ambience of your hopes, your dreams.

      Oh my, I can imagine the words your husband uttered. Yes, I tried to have some light-hearted balance in this candid posting.

      A peaceful, hopeful weekend to you, dear lady.

      Gary

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  24. You are well loved and supported by many, Gary, including me. I wish there was something else I could say to make it all better, but there really isn't. Still, it's pretty darn good to be loved as much as you are, so don't forget that. =)

    Virtual hugs to you.
    xoRobyn

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    1. Hi Robyn,

      Thank you and what you've said, dear lady, has brought comfort to a man who is challenging another unwarranted bout of anxiety. In my double life, I'm profoundly grateful for the love I receive. I think we should have a blog love-in blog hop. What am I saying? Help!:)

      Hope you had a lovely birthday, Robyn. Remember you are precious and a darned nice person!

      Virtual hugs to you and have a lovely weekend.

      Gary :) x

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  25. Gazza,

    It's nice to hear from *you* (I kinda figured the humor was, in part, your "outer face" - because I do exactly the same:)

    If there's ever anything I can do - let me know - and hope you're never tied up with 50 shades of red tape.

    Have a happy, quiet weekend and take care, my friend.

    >> ((GAZZA)) (Manly hug:)

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    1. Hi Mazza,

      And nice to hear from *you* :) I had a hunch you might be somewhat the same. Although, as you will know, the humour is also a part of who we are. Still, it's a light-hearted distraction when life throws us a curve ball.

      Your offer is kind, thank you. I should be okay. It's just outrageous that I have to go back through the forms again. Dredging up pain I tried to move on from.

      Sir Mazza, here's wishing you and your loved ones, a peaceful, positive weeekend.

      Mazza ((Man hug)) back atcha' :)

      Gary

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  26. who loves you... we do! sanity is overrated.
    you should look into being a online writer for these online newspapers... you have a way with the words and humor to follow...

    so sham a-lama-ding-dong...

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    1. Hi Jeremy,

      Thanks dude. I think we really should have a blogger love-in, blog fest! Help! LOL Yeah, I like being crazy on my own terms and not have some immoral government try to make me crazy in the wrong way. I've actually been asked to be an online writer. Trouble is, I can barely do this. I'm physically and mentally exhausted from the bombardment of negativity that has been imposed on me as of late. Thank you for the suggestion, kind sir. Maybe when I'm better.

      I'm sitting on the dock of the bay...

      Have a peaceful weekend, Jeremy.

      Gary

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  27. Jeremy had a super idea, Gary!

    I loved your bedtime story. :) Although probably not funny at the moment of impact, it made a great story.

    Sorry you are having lots of paper work. :( No one likes feeling out forms, especially if you aren't feeling well.

    Do you have a bird feeder in your garden? I just hung one in mine and I'm finding it so relaxing and enjoyable. (just a thought)

    (((hugs))) And you won't be allowed to be an almost recluse when I eventually come for a visit. :)

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    1. Hi Shannon,

      Jeremy's idea was terrific. Something I would contemplate again when the latest storm has subsided.

      Thank you and I posted up the bedroom crash moment to bring a bit of balance to what was going to be a rather anxiety-laden posting.

      I had recently filled in those forms and went through a nightmare getting what I was entitled to. Two months later, the same forms have dropped through the letterbox. I was starting to feel better and then those forms arrived again. It has made me feel sick.

      I don't have a bird-feeder in my garden. I do get plenty of birds. However, that's a good idea you've suggested. Might do that. Would increase photo opportunities. Thanks.

      Thanks for the warning! You are always welcome here. I know it would be fun just to get the parade in your honour, organised. Hugs back atcha' (( )).

      Have a lovely weekend, Sharon.

      Gary

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  28. Oh, crap. Sorry to hear. Bureaucratic bloody nonsense. It's enough to make anyone depressed.

    Even on dark stormy nights there are clouds with silver linings. Easy to say, I know. Considerably less easy, however, to discern from the fog in our brains.

    And by the amount of comments on your most excellent blog, you are clearly not alone, by any stretch of the imagination.

    Take care of 'you'. Big ((hug))

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    Replies
    1. Hi Wendy,

      Thank you, Wendy and it's total crap. You may have heard what this evil British coalition government is doing to the sick, the poor, the vulnerable. I was starting to feel better and then the forms arrived, yet again.

      I know we both try to find the positives out of adverse situations. We do not appreciate mental cruelty when all we want to do is get on with our lives.

      I'm profoundly grateful to get so much reaction on my blog. I do believe that a shared experience can be of hope to others who are struggling. And to others who want to try to understand.

      Thank you, dear Wendy.

      ((hugs)) to you. Wishing you a wonderful rest of your weekend.

      Gary

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  29. bummer...I like to think of bills (and forms/assessments) as signs of what I am capable of paying and doing, one way or another, it helps me with the stress of it all. Mental illness, pain and the effects of hormone imbalances are hard to analyse, and some things just don't makes sense - like phone companies telling me I need to be connected to the roaming network, that they switched off, so they can send me a password, so I can log on again...I got pretty annoyed at the operator, questioned if I handled the situation correctly, had a little laugh about it, and now wait for the next bill to arrive... I hope when things get better you still keep entertaining us

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    1. Hi Ida,

      I understand what your saying in regards to bills, forms and assessments. And yes, I do find them a barometer of my capabilities. In this case, I went through all the assessment form filling, both mental and physical assessment. Two months later, I am now going through the forms again. Forms that dredge up pain, bring back memories, I tried to move on from. It's cruel and inhumane.

      I have discovered that usually with annoying situations, a bit of charm and hopefully some humour has got me the treatment I warrant. It's a weird bureaucratic world out there.

      Mental illness is always a subject of conjecture. The nature, nurture debate. The implementation of various positive resources and distractions to improve the mental health well being of the person.

      I appreciate your kind words, Ida. Even during the most challenging of times, I will endeavour to bring some balanced postings with attempted humour.

      Thank you, Ida.

      A peaceful, pleasant weekend to you and your loved ones.

      Gary

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  30. I am sure that everyone agrees when we say, thank YOU for being there!

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    1. Hi Caren,

      And thank you for being here, dear lady.

      A lovely weekend to you.

      Gary

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  31. OMG I hate government red tape. I'm glad you survived the unfortunate gymnastics of your newly arranged bedroom, but it did entertain me, so you have fulfilled your calling!!! Good job, buddy. I didn't pick metal illness as a career choice either, but there are lots of supportive folks out there. As I just found out with my latest post. Thanks for your kind and thoughtful comment. I wish I was as funny as you are...I just come across as whiny...but we each have our own voice!
    Tina @ Life is Good

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    1. Hi Tina,

      The red tape I got from this evil government is making me want to put the red tape over the mouth of our horrible Prime Minister. A man who smirks at the plight of the vulnerable.

      I thought it might be good to open the posting with a bit of silliness. It was kinda' funny what happened. Well, I did laugh about it the next day.

      I know how much you relate to this. We certainly didn't make this some sort of career choice. The heartening aspect to this is that we both are bringing further awareness to those who do not have mental health issues. The stigma is being eliminated. And yes, your posting also demonstrates the power of real empathy. You are not alone. I am not alone. I was privileged to comment on your candid post, dear Tina.

      I try to instil a bit of light-hearted banter on a serious subject. You came across as somebody who wants to share her valid hopes, dreams and wishes for a better future. You came across very eloquently. Your voice and my voice and the voices of so many who are labelled, shall be heard.

      A peaceful, hopeful weekend to you, Tina.

      Gary

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  32. Hi Gary. Thank you for creating a space for reflections and for laughter. It is a special realm of thoughts and creativity, don't you think? My real life career is also intimately related to mental issues and I find all topics related to it fascinating.
    Hugs,
    Julie

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    Replies
    1. Hi Julia,

      And thank you for being a part of all of what we endeavour to share to bring awareness and understanding. Creativity can be challenged by daunting situations. Thus, I try to use the adversity as an outlet to defy it via writing. I would add that I have been involved with a number of mental health charities. I might soon do another in my ongoing mental health series.

      Hugs and a peaceful weekend to you, dear friend.

      Gary

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  33. Dear Gar,
    My husband, our daughter and myself have been enjoying your blogs and the "Pawsting" just the same since I found your blog. There is no doubt in my mind that you can not only entertain, but inspire a lot of us with your writing. I hope that you believe in yourself and all your blogger friends as we are counting on many more entertaining postings.

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  34. Also Gary,
    I am glad that you have written and opened up as this will help a lot of teachers in preventing today's children from laughing and teaching children to take their class mates seriously.

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    1. Dear Munir,

      I'm truly flattered that your family enjoy my postings and of course, Penny's 'pawstings' :) Thank you and my real goal has always been to try inspire, especially those who may feel overwhelmed with mental health issues. A bit of comfort for all.

      A good point you have raised in regards to teachers and children, alike, taking the dreams of another, as a serious life choice. Thank you, dear friend.

      A peaceful weekend to you and your family.

      Gary

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  35. Write as therapy. I hear you. Most of the things I write, I mainly write them to lift my own spirits, although those who read me also find them helpful. Struggling with the mind is the hardest of all struggles, I believe. I'm know. I'm fighting there as well. But when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. How? One step at the time. Just one step at the time. My best to you.

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    1. Hi Al,

      I knew you would understand the underlying meaning in this posting. You do indeed write for therapy, to lift your spirits and the spirits of others.

      My inner child speaks the truth. The struggles that occur can be the adversity thrown our way. How we cope with the adversity, turn that negative into a positive, at our own pace, defines us.

      My best to you. The gift of empathy, I send to you.

      A peaceful, happy weekend to you, my friend.

      Gary

      Delete
  36. So many forms! I hope it doesn't take too long to navigate them!

    You are definitely an entertainer in my eyes. I'm so glad I found your blog :-)

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    Replies
    1. Hi Annalisa,

      Forms that have come all over again. Forms that continue to dredge up a past I try to move on from. I am incensed at the way our government is treating the sick, the poor, the vulnerable. An immoral and cruel outrage.

      You are very kind and I'm honoured by our interaction.

      Thank you, Annalisa.

      A peaceful and happy weekend to you.

      Gary

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  37. I think many of us write for therapy. It take us away from our fears and anxieties and let's us play with them through our characters. You've succeeded, Gary. You've become an entertainer and our world needs those more and more.

    Here's to health. Here's to writing our way to peace and enlightenment. And here's to turning on those electrical lights after rearranging the bedroom furniture--an enlightenment we really can appreciate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lee,

      I firmly believe that many do indeed write for therapy. I call my writing, "method writing". I become whatever I write. If I'm writing about a toothbrush, I become the toothbrush. Of course, Penny actually does her own writing and gives me a break.

      Here's to you, to all of us who embrace the passion, the magic of the written word, to continue to find therapy, to have who reads it, feel part of the experience in their own unique way.

      We certainly learn from switching on the lights and actually seeing where things really are.

      Thank you, Lee.

      Happy weekend and happy writing.

      Gary

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  38. Sorry to hear you're going through such a stressful time.

    I also write as a form of therapy, even though I don't have as many problems as you do.

    But you know, one day you will come through your issues as a victor. I just know it. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Misha,

      I appreciate your words. I will overcome the latest obstacle. I always do.

      Your writing is absolutely a form of therapy for you. Each of us has tangible problems that we do our utmost to resolve.

      We are all winners, if we so choose, to not allow those who would devalue our efforts. Thank you, Misha.

      A peaceful, happy weekend to you.

      Gary

      Delete
  39. You are dealt the cards you are dealt ..
    Plain and simple...
    You seem a good guy
    That's all that matters

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi John,

      True, however, somebody keeps messing with deck that was a winning hand. Which means, I have to shuffle the deck and grab the ace from up my sleeve.

      I am a good guy. Thank you for that. This good guy will continue to defy those who have the audacity to mess around with my playing cards.

      Thank you, John.

      A peaceful Welsh weekend, my friend.

      Gary

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  40. Dear Gary
    I have one word..... government. Look at the botch-up going on here in the US, scandals galore. What a mess. Does that mean they are always doing their job? I bet not. It's quite weird to feel so close to so many people all over the world ...... people who never meet face to face. As I read through the comments I know you have a great support group. These people really "care." They're like your next door neighbors. I certainly include myself in that and I'm here to offer you support and a calm hand.
    Sorry I'm so late but I was involved with the sale of the ranch. It is gone. Kaput, Bye bye. No more. Until later my dear friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Manzanita,

      You would be correct. The underlying tone in this posting was political. There are some worrying similarities all over the world. So much so, that I know my next posting will create a stir about it. We need an uprising, because enough is enough. This support group that we are all apart of, is one of sincere caring and concern. Your calm hand and encouragement, dear lady, are cherished.

      Never any need to apologise. I appreciate when you can comment. The next phase in your life adventure is beginning. A cause of hopeful celebration.

      A peaceful Sunday to you, dear Manzanita.

      Gary

      Delete
  41. The chaos of life makes everyone crazed at times. I refuse to dwell on some of the ridiculousness that goes on in our world -- and in my life too. I focus on what I can do at a particular moment in time and try not to feel bad about everything else.

    Hugs to Penny and yourself, Gary. Enjoy your weekend. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mina,

      I do my best to not dwell. I do my utmost to live in the now and visualise a better future. I was sorted. All was going well. Then the forms that dredge up the past, a past I tried to move on from, came back through the letterbox. This is mental cruelty I never asked for.

      Thank you for the hugs to Penny and myself. Dear friend, I hope you have a peaceful, positive Sunday :)

      Gary

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  42. Hi Gary,
    Of course, mental illness isn't a "career choice" for anyone, although going by what our uncaring government and intolerant media say, you'd be forgiven for thinking so. It tends to give the impression that those receiving disability benefits are somehow shirking, or getting something they don't deserve, which, of course, couldn't be further from the truth. And yet, here you are, Gare, having to cope with yet more forms and assessments, only a couple of months after already being assessed and being awarded your benefits. To put it succinctly, it stinks. I just hope that we soon see the back of Cameron and his Etonian goon squad, and good folk like yourself can once again get on with their lives in peace.
    With my support, and Very Best Wishes,
    David.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi David,

      I knew you would understand. This most evil of governments would imply that those on benefits, no matter what, were making it a "career choice". We both know the real facts show a very different story. This immoral scum are trying to pit those fortunate enough to have a job, against those who either can't work, or cannot find work.

      David, as you will know, I'm becoming very ill again with all this unwarranted, inhumane stress imposed. I'm having a major setback because of this. David Cameron and his gang of Etonian thugs, should be jailed for crimes against humanity.

      Your support is greatly appreciated in the repeat of a daunting time.

      Good to see your kind self, last Sunday.

      Wishing you a positive weekend ahead, my friend.

      Gary

      Delete
  43. We are here to listen. When life overwhelms, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Just be sure to open your eyes before going into your bedroom though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Diane,

      Your supportive ear is profoundly appreciated, Diane. When life overwhelms twice in the space of three months, the challenge is greater, the resilience, more determined. Now where did I put my bed....

      Thank you, Diane.

      A happy Sunday to you.

      Gary

      Delete
  44. I'm sorry you have to cope with the benefits system on top of everything else. It's so easy for it to seem like everyone is questioning whether you really are struggling as much as you say you are.

    At least you have a lot of online friends who value you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi fairyhedgehog,

      Lovely to have you visit, my friend.

      I'm thankful for what you've typed. The benefits forms induce anxiety. I just finished going through all of this and now it starts again. They are trying to prove that the sick are not sick. Ironically, it makes us sicker.

      I'm honoured to have such caring interaction on here. I thank you and all those who take the time to help me cope.

      A peaceful Sunday to you.

      Gary

      Delete
  45. Despite you having a mental illness, you have helped and encouraged me along the way Gary. I sometimes feel, that if you can do it, then so can I. So I say 'thank you' for being there for me.

    There are many times when I forget what you are going through unless you mention it, and I wish there was more I could do to help. Although I don't claim any benefits, I know many people who do, and is it nothing short of a nightmare having to fill in those forms, and provide evidence at the time. What adds to all the frustration is staff not knowing their left foot from the right, and this always complicates matters.

    Just make sure you keep copies of your own forms, so if it gets mislaid you only have to copy out the required info. Sometimes you can get someone from an advice agency to help you complete them. They ask the questions, and write down what you tell them.

    I pray that this time around, everything runs smoothly. Try not to worry beforehand, though I know it's always easier said than done.


    Oh, I almost forgot. I hope you have recovered from jumping on the invisible bed too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Rum-Punch Drunk,

      I'm truly heartened to know that I have been of help and encouragement to you, my good friend. My site has always been about being here for others and I try to be there for them.

      I try to demonstrate that my mental illness is only a small part of who I am. I try to live with, rather than suffer from my concerns. Just being here and sensing the awareness I'm trying to convey, to eliminate the unfair stigma, is a heart-warming result.

      Those you know who unfortunately have to go through the form-filling nightmare, the face-to-face assessments, would truly understand the hell this government is imposing on the vulnerable.

      Indeed, more photocopying that I shouldn't have to be doing for the forms I shouldn't have to be filling in. I just finished these forms and got my benefit award, a couple of months ago. So once again, I have to go and get help with it. Your advice is duly noted. Sadly, I've done it all before.

      I tried not to worry the last time. Yes, the last time of a couple of months ago. I'm doing my best to stay calm. This government should be done for mental cruelty.

      I've recovered, thank you. Although, my bedroom experience, gave "time to crash", a most literal meaning.

      A peaceful Sunday to you.

      Gary

      Delete
  46. You certainly are an entertainer! I really like reading your posts!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sherry,

      You are very kind, Sherry. I'm doing my best under circumstances that keep coming back to cause me more grief. I appreciate what you've said. Thank you.

      Gary

      Delete
  47. HI Gary. I just got back from Portugal so this response is a bit late. As so many have pointed out before me - you are an entertainer!
    It mist be hard to be a recluse with so many virtual friends....
    Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’ is back. Click here for thrills!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi bazza,

      Welcome back from Portugal, my friend. The entertainment I try to convey is often my way of coping with my ongoing challenge to keep the negativity environment away from my door.

      It's difficult living this bizarre double life. My virtual friends, such as you, have kept me inspired. Thank you, kind sir.

      Gary

      Delete
  48. You totally succeeded in becoming an entertainer! I love your blog posts and all the comments you make on FB. But if I were you, I wouldn't move the furniture around anymore -- too dangerous. O.o

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lexa,

      You are very kind :) Ah yes, 'Farcebook'! Oops, I misplaced my computer chair....

      Thank you, Lexa.

      Gary

      Delete
  49. It's been a long time since I late visited your blog. My bad, and I have a lot to catch up on. When I told people I wanted to be an artist or film maker, I got that "I'll believe it when I see it" look from people, too. Thank you for finding me again. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi David P. King,

      Very nice to see you, David. I was equally guilty of not visiting your fine site until I noted the knighthood of the now, Sir Mark. We believe and we make it so, my friend. Thank you for dropping by. Well, not literally :)

      Gary

      Delete
  50. It is a testimony to your mind that you continue to write, continue to amuse us with you insights.

    And I think you'll agree that you HAVE become an entertainer.

    I, on the other hand, am still not a grizzly bear, which is what I said I wanted to be when I grew up...

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Pearl,

      Lovely to see your smiling face from hopefully sunny, Minneapolis :) I know you can understand how difficult it can be when you get bombarded with negative distractions you didn't exactly ask for. Quite the challenge, but it's all of us displaying our resilience in adversity.

      Thank you for the kind words and I do my best to hopefully bring some light-hearted banter in a sometimes crap world.

      You are now an honorary grizzly bear and a parade in your honour that bears all, so to speak, will be held in downtown Vancouver, in the next couple of months.

      Thank you, Pearl.

      Gary

      Delete
  51. You and Penny are definitely entertainers. I live in the desert and love being a recluse too--even though--listen to this--I love people. I love talking, laughing and joking. I love group hugs and giggling. I love walking my dog, riding my bike and chatting with people in line at the supermarket. I am not an entertainer but a social person who lives in the desert. All of us have issues. Trust me Gary, we both know the last perfect person shared his death with two convicts. The paperwork sounds horrendous. Stay calm because you're awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Eve,

      Penny and myself, her mere human, thank you :) What you mention has an air of familiarity, minus the desert. When I go out on my rare moments, I become that other person, still very much part of me that makes folks smile and laugh. You are entertainingly sociable, my friend.

      Indeed, we all have issues. In this case, the issues I keep trying to move on, I have to keep dredging up with the paperwork our awful government keeps sending so many of us. They are making the sick, sicker. Thank you, Eve and I do my best to stay calm in an environment that has the audacity to impose on my right to a peaceful life.

      Be well, my friend.

      Gary

      Delete
  52. I have never done Blog awards Good Sir but just today because I was give one and had some time to sort of redraw it I have decided to give it to my favourite bloggers. this includes your good self (I know you were not expecting that) . . . . . Good news is all that is involved is a smile and nothing more......

    I hope you like.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Rob,

      Rob, my kind friend, I have quickly had a look at your very kind award. I shall duly respond. You embrace the ideals of the blogging community I cherish. No stipulations, no links, just smiles and friendship.

      I do like it, my friend. Thank you for this. It means a great deal :)

      Gary

      Delete
  53. Take some degree of comfort, Gary, for you have entertained me on numerous occasions. The whole jumping into bed paragraph made me laugh audibly. My wife even gave me one of those looks that silently asks what could have amused me so suddenly. They say to make lemonade when life gives you lemons. I prefer lemon meringue pie. It's sweeter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jeff,

      My friend, I do take comfort out of what you tell me. I did not take comfort out of a bed that wasn't there :)

      Doing my best to try and maintain some balance when the madness of those who would torment me, keep hassling me. Still, here's lemon meringue, my friend. Thank you, Jeff.

      Gary

      Delete
  54. Arrrggg...frustration abounds here as well. When ObamaCare takes effect this fall, such "care" will be the norm.

    I admire your pluck, verve, and ability to express it so well. Susan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Susan,

      I'm most certainly aware of the frustrations occurring in America. However, our Universal healthcare is mostly excellent. Free from the point of service. Over here, there are rumours that this government wants to privatise our National Health Service. The issue here is the way this immoral government in Britain is targeting the most vulnerable in society.

      Thank you for your kind encouragement, Susan.

      Gary

      Delete
  55. Oh Gary, that does sound awful. Stamina building stuff, I guess. I used to rearrange rooms all the time. I can quite empathise, though i do it less now. (Hubby doesn't like it)
    Hugs to you and Penny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Madeleine,

      It has been a horrendous repeat nightmare. I've finally remembered where I put my bed. That's a good thing :)

      Hugs back to you, Madeleine. Lovely to see you.

      Gary

      Delete
  56. Gary, I'm sorry that you got hurt, and hope that you're feeling better. I can't believe I missed this before. I also find you very entertaining, and know that your wonderful sense of humor has helped so many people through rough times. I can always count on you to cheer me up too. All of the endless paperwork sounds awful, but I have faith that you will get through it. In the meantime, we'll all be cheering you on!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Julie,

      I appreciate your thoughtful comment, dear friend. Writing helps me cope and sharing with each other, I endeavour to be there for others as they are here for me. Your words are heartening. Thank you for that. The paperwork that starts all over again, just when I was trying to get on with my life. Shall remain positive.

      Cheers to you, Julie.

      Gary

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  57. Dealing with medical red tape is akin to third-world forms of torture. I hope your test results gave your "bummer of a location" a clean bill of health:) Tell Penny to keep the light on for you:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Samantha,

      Dealing with medical red tape that is intrusive, that dredges up emotional pain, is inhumane and my tests have bottomed out. It's all good. Penny will switch on the light :)

      Thank you, Samantha.

      Gary

      Delete
  58. I'm sorry I'm late in reading your posts, but that is why I signed up to receive them, so I would be able to come when the time was right. I'm sorry to hear of your stress. My father had to fight for four years to receive his benefits from the VA. He was a fighter and I think it actually helped him to keep strong and live longer because he had something to butt his head against, something to "win." I know you don't want to "be" where you are, but, that said, you are there. So maybe(?)it might help to remember you deserve the help you are fighting for and that perhaps this could be a way to help you not "lay down and take it," that this battle, because it is a battle, is there for a reason and that reason is you and that you are worth fighting for. I'm ending the sermon now! Hugs to you...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lisa,

      I'm flattered that you would backtrack through my postings. Thank you for that. Like your father, I fight for what's right, what's a true entitlement. I have found renewed resilience by verbalising the outrage that I'm experiencing and so many others in Britain are experiencing. To enhance my outrage and to try to be a voice for those who think they are voiceless, I did something out of character for me, I also did a political posting. It outlines the fact that our government is targeting the vulnerable to pay for the mistakes of the incompetent fortunate.

      I appreciate your thoughtful words, dear lady.

      Hugs to you, my friend.

      Gary

      Delete

I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.