Thursday, 27 June 2013
It Wasn't A Career Choice.
I rearranged my bedroom a short time ago. Moved the wardrobe to a different location. Put the bed by a different wall. Went to my bedroom that evening and never bothered to switch on the light. I jumped into bed. That would be the bed that wasn't there because I'd forgotten I'd moved the bed. I crashed to the floor. On the way to the floor, I knocked my left shoulder on the wardrobe I suddenly remembered was also in a different location. Yes, ouch! The next night, I remembered to turn on the light switch.
Writing is my therapy. There are times when life is at its most challenging and discouraging. I attempt to instil a bit of light-hearted banter. I hope that the distractions I thus write are also a bit of comfort to anybody who might be having a struggle. Trying to make sense of what might seem a senseless situation.
I didn't make mental illness a career choice. When the teacher asked us, "What do you want to be when you grow up?", one said, "airline pilot", one said, "doctor", another stated, "nurse". I did not declare, "I want to become mentally ill and become a virtual recluse!" I actually said , "I want to be an entertainer!" The teacher smiled. The class laughed. An overwhelming negative environment can take its toll on the most resilient of us. I have and continue to challenge elements that would have the audacity to sabotage my right to a peaceful, positive life.
Recently, I endured a most frightening time with a series of hospital visits. I endured being summoned in for a face-to-face medical assessment that was to question my illness. An assessment that occurred only a few hours after I'd had a biopsy in a bummer of a location. I proved my case and the benefits I wish I didn't need, were awarded to me. Two months later, the forms I had to fill in to get my benefits, have started all over again. It's like being in a benefits nightmare "Groundhog Day". Just when I was starting to feel better, the anxiety starts again.
And with the gentle music of nature's orchestra playing through the wind chimes, I ponder....I calm down.. Thank you for being here.