Tuesday 23 October 2012

Regaining The Clarity.

I was sitting there in my living room.  What had started to seem so clear, was vanishing into another dark cloud of distorted confusion.  Another moment of despair had crept into my well being.  I glanced over and there was Penny looking at me with great concern.  She could sense that something was wrong.  It was written on my face and in the dull glisten of my eyes.

"Gary, what's the matter?", asked Penny.  "Just feeling a bit down, Penny.  I have tried so hard to maintain a positive environment and yet, I keep encountering negative influences that try to destabilise our right to a peaceful life."

"Gary, let's try this.  Can you think of three examples of where you turned what started out as a negative into something positive?"  I pondered Penny's question for a few minutes and then I responded.  "Right then, Penny, this first example would be one that has impacted us most recently.  Those new anti-social neighbours have caused much distress.  Yet, even at their most abusive, I have responded with a calm politeness.  I'm hoping, because they have been much quieter over the last week that they have learnt something from my example.  And even so, they are an ironic catalyst that has made me realise that it's time for us to move on into a new home, a fresh start, a new adventure."

"That's most encouraging.  Keep going Gary and please give me your second example."  "Okay, Penny.  I did a lot of volunteer work for a mental health charity.  I demonstrated, kindness, caring and the power of empathy.  Instead of acknowledging me, I was exploited and my own personal recovery took a battering.  If anything, they reinforced my mental health issues.  I left disillusioned, disheartened and ready to retreat back into my reclusive world.  However, I met some decent folks through that mental health charity.  Like-minded individuals who had also felt used by the charity.  We have all remained good friends and two of them have now started up their own mental health charity where empathy, understanding, support and encouragement are vital ingredients.  I am honoured to have been asked to be an integral part of that new mental health charity."

"Brilliant.  Now then, Gary, what would be your third example?"  "Penny, here is my third example of turning what started out as a negative and turning it into something positive.  I was subjected to severe workplace bullying, physical, financial and psychological.  This went on for over eight years.  One day I could take no more and had a complete breakdown.  I left that awful, self-esteem destroying, dead-end job that had transformed me into a broken man.  Despite it costing me my marriage, despite it nearly costing me my life due to nearly drinking myself to death, I somehow picked up the remnants of this shattered man and rediscovered me.  The ending of that painful and traumatic time in my life also brought back the dreams of a young boy.  And the young boy, now a man, still a fragile man, recaptured the spark that fired his imagination.  The spark, the power of the written word, had returned and I started writing again."

"There you go, Gary.  Now how are you feeling?"  "Penny, thank you so much!  I'm feeling rejuvenated and I'm understanding that my life aint so bad.  Negative forces will never be given permission to get the better of me.  I have a choice and I choose the right to live my life the way I want to live it."

"Gary?"  "Yes Penny?"  "Gary, I have an additional example to share with you.  I could sense how concerned Tristan and yourself were when you took me to those two different places that were full of animals and people.  I also saw, when your shared sadness eased to shared relief, that you and Tristan were so close together, father and son, united in their love for me and each other."

Penny and myself are wondering if somebody reading this can think of examples of how they could or have changed a negative into a positive. You need not allude to them in a comment.  They can be for you to contemplate.  Peace and positivity, be with you.  Gary and Penny.

64 comments:

  1. All good examples of your inner strength Gary and, I have to say, it makes me feel shame over what I consider to be negatives in my own life.

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    1. Hi Delores,

      There was a time I could not see any positive possibilities out of such examples. Everybody's negative situations have their own rightful concern and can be addressed in a way that hopefully brings comfort. Thank you, Delores.

      In kindness, Gary

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  2. proof you are a strong individual

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    1. Hi becca,

      Thank you. And proof we can search for that inner strength.

      In peace, my friend.

      Gary

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  3. I guess we're still alive, so it could be worse.

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    1. Hi PT,

      Indeed we are. And thanks to you being alive, I can witness your ongoing creative writing endeavours. Thanks, friend.

      In kindness,

      Gary

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  4. I woke this morning feeling this dark black cloud hanging over my head. Normally, I'd spend a lot of time and energy trying to shake it. I decided to pretend I didn't notice it, and went outside to visit my son's 3 cats who are now full-time residents. I opened the shop door and caught them sleeping comfortably around the wood stove. As soon as they noticed I was there, they woke, stretched, then came to greet me with lots of rubbing and purring and more rubbing and more purring. Suffice to say, I left them, came here to my desk and laughed because I had enough cat hair on me to start a new one. It wasn't until I read your wise words that I realized that I had turned the day around just by believing it could be done.

    When my other son came to visit for lunch we had a great laugh over the Wayne's World opening scene on youtube. When he left, I watched the video again and laughed just as hard. Not only is the dark cloud gone, the heavy gray overcast have a multitude of blues and pinks, and I just witnessed 8 swans skimming 6' above the water. What a sight.

    Happy Tuesday, Gary.

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    1. Hi Joylene,

      How terrific. Instead of dwelling on your dark black cloud, you didn't give it the energy to ruin your day. Instead you immersed yourself in positive distractions conducive to your well being. You knew you could make it a better day and your belief made it so. What a positive outcome! I'm sure you look stunning covered in cat hair....

      I've suddenly got this urge to put on a wig, get inside my car, shake my head and listen to "Bohemian Rhapsody"!

      You see the brilliant colours within the sky and marvelled at the wonders of nature. Bless you, my friend.

      Happy Wednesday, Joylene. Time zones, eh! :)

      Gary

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  5. I have an example from several years ago. A tragedy struck Ali and me. I won't go into the details, let's just say our world felt like it was falling apart. But out of that we both developed a new perspective and were better able to put things into their place. Without that strength, I don't think we'd ever have had the courage to make the move to beautiful BC.

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    1. Hi Ian,

      I did a slight edit on my posting. I reckon if folks just want to think about it without revealing details, that's totally respected.

      Anyway, my friend, out of trauma and the sensation that your world was falling apart, you both discovered the positive catalyst that inspired you to make such a bold yet exciting move to my other home, beautiful BC. You both have my admiration. Thank you, Ian.

      In kindness and respect, Gary

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  6. Excellent writing, Gary, and sharing some very horrible times in your life. I admire your honesty and open heart. Walking backwards through those times helps me to recover--seeing where I was and what happened.

    That Penny is one wise dog.

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    1. Hi Susan Kane,

      That's most kind of you. I have writing as a positive, therapeutic resource. And to reflect and see that I have found the positive out of what was once a negative, has made me realise just how grateful I truly am for all I have. I know, my good friend, you embrace such ideals.

      Penny, bless her, is a wonder to behold :) Thank you, Susan.

      In peace and positivity, Gary

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  7. I could think of so many wonderful examples. We don't always see the positive in an event, or the doorways that will open as a result. But God always knows, so I just try to maintain the faith.
    You and Penny have a great attitude.
    I feel sorry for those who don't...

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    1. Hi Alex,

      I have no doubt you can savour many wonderful examples. Sometimes, the negativity is so stifling that the opportunity to open the door and see a better ideal out of it, can seem like an alien concept. Your faith keeps you focused and your altruistic approach to life is greatly admired.

      Yes, Penny and I have a most hopeful slant on life. Those who only see the dark should realise that there is a choice. Thank you, Alex.

      With peaceful wishes and fulfilling writing, your way, Gary

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  8. Penny is a faithful good friend who will be there for you when you need strength. You two work so well together.

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    1. Hi Arleen,

      Penny and her unconditional, non-judgemental love, has been a great source of comfort, of rejuvenating inspiration. We are quite the team :) Thank you, Arleen.

      In kindness and positivity, your way, Gary

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  9. A wonderful piece of self-medication there Gary! Well, I guess if you include Penny, it's a patient-therapist treatment. From all negatives and setbacks one can find a positive to move forward with; everything in life is part of a learning curve if one could only see clearly.
    Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

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    1. Hi bazza,

      Thank you and a good way of putting it. A bit of talking treatment from the incredible Penny. Yes, we can learn from those setbacks and keep moving on along that clearer pathway. Thank you, bazza.

      Kind wishes, your way, Gary

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  10. Penny has a very subtle ability to guide you towards the right answers. That is a rare ability in a human, let alone a dog...I suppose that's why we love out pet friends, they are out partners of dialogue whenever we feel lonely and down. A beautiful lesson of self-motivation Gary, congrats :).

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    1. Hi Petronela,

      Oh yes, Penny is very good at making me think and realise that those moments of despair can be diminished by knowing how well one has coped and turned it around. Our beloved animals, cherished family members, are the most profound comfort in the loneliest of times. Thank you for reading this posting on positive affirmations.

      Warm, peaceful wishes, your way, Gary

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  11. Hello Gary:
    Years ago we came to realise that in life one must, if at all possible, turn one's tragedies into triumphs. It would seem to us, reading this, that you are more than capable, whatever the personal pain and anguish, of doing just this. And we applaud you for it.

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    1. Hi Jane and Lance,

      Well said. A tragedy to triumph shows the resilience and determination that we can find from within. With such positive thinking and the encouragement of others, we can all find that happier, more fruitful life. You are true demonstration of this and I applaud you both also. Thank you, Jane and Lance.

      In peace and goodwill, Gary

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  12. A lovely positive and thought-provoking post x

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    1. Hi Teresa,

      That is most kind of you. I am glad you read this posting.

      Peaceful wishes, your way, Gary x

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  13. Hi Gary,
    So glad to hear that you have turned a negative situation into a positive one. You, Penny and Tristan deserve a stress-free abode, clear of nasty neighbours, and I'm sure you'll find a suitable place. Arf! Arf!
    Very Best Wishes and I'll ring soon,
    David.

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    1. Greetings David,

      Thanks Dave and you know of the struggles we have been experiencing. We continue to make symbolic packing of boxes and taking what's not wanted, to the tip.

      Talk soon and yes, I have received the dreaded letter from our friends at the DWP. Oh boy.

      In peace and hope, Gary

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  14. You are such an inspiration. To me, to many of us. Thank you. Megathanks in fact.

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    1. Hi The Elephant's Child,

      You are most kind and I'm grateful. I try to inspire and in turn, we inspire each other. A force for the good. And I thank you.

      In kindness and positivity, your way, Gary

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  15. Oh sweet Penny!! I am sorry to read about your silly neighbours! :-( So I do hope you find another haven to call your home soon! Yay!

    You take care of Gary and Tristan now! x

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    1. Hi Old Kitty,

      Sweet Penny has been very frightened by the loud banging of our neighbours. I have had to cuddle her until she stopped trembling. I cannot believe such neighbours can exist. We continue in our pursuit of a new home and a fresh start.

      Penny has promised to look after Tristan and me. You look after your special furry friends :)

      In kindness, Gary x

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  16. Penny...what a treasure. She kicks your butt without leaving any marks. Please hug her for me

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    1. Hi Donna,

      Ah, that would be one way of putting it :) I shall duly hug her. "Come here, Penny. Penny....Penny..."

      Thank you, Donna and positive wishes, your way, Gary

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  17. Penny, you're wise beyond your years! You could've mired yourself in the dark but you chose to reach up to the light. You could've sat in the murky emotions but chose to think it through. I wish I had a companion like you, all I've got is this uppity cat!
    hugs and scratches,
    Laura
    x

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    1. Hi Laura,

      Penny is wise. Yes indeed, Penny wise and not pound foolish. She sure got my little old brain thinking. Quite the achievement. Made me realise that I've got loads to be thankful for :) Uppity cats can sometimes spare you a few moments of their precious time :) I shall forward on your hugs and scratches to Penny. I assume you meant Penny! :)

      Take care of You and stay positive.

      Gary
      x

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  18. To turn your thoughts around takes strength and guts. With Penny's help you have achieved this more positive outlook. You are an inspiration and I pray you find the strength to continue your journey together. There are many on your side, Gary.

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    1. Hi Suzanne,

      I know that trying to maintain positivity can be darned hard work. Of course, that other place is a place I do not ever wish to visit again. Penny's positive attitude has been a cause of much joy. I thank you, Suzanne, for your encouraging and inspiring comment. The journey on the road to happiness will have the occasional pothole. Each time, we can get out of the pothole and keep moving on. I am heartened and touched by such support by you, by all within the great blogging community. Thank you, Suzanne.

      With respect and kind wishes, your way, Gary

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  19. Turning a negative into a positive is a very difficult thing to do. The fact that you did it not once or twice but three times and even more than three times throughout your life shows how much inner strength you have. How courageous and inspirational you are, Gary.

    I try to make positives out of negatives and it's not always a simple matter. Sometimes the sadness can be crushing but to push against that crushing and come out the other side strong is an amazing feeling.

    Jai

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    1. Hi Jai,

      Indeed, my good friend, finding that positive aspect to a negative situation, takes much inner resolve and commitment. There was many a time when I almost gave up. Then I remembered all that is near and dear to me. A most positive catalyst to keep the better journey going.

      It can be most difficult and daunting to seek the positives out of negatives. Yet you have found that the other side fills your heart with a renewed sense of wonder for life. Thank you, Jai.

      With kind and positive wishes, your way, Gary

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  20. Both sorry to learn of your troubles and heartened to hear the wise dog guide you to recognise how well you dealt with it. This is inspiring, Gary, I'm not the first person to notice but I think it's important you know that you are a source of positivity. Wishing you both appreciative neighbours xx

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    1. Hi Lily Tequila,

      Thank you. And through those troubles, I do see a better reality. With the guidance of Penny, I do see that, upon reflection, my life is good and I can make it better.

      You are most kind and I do and Penny does, try to inspire. We are all in this together, sharing and caring, cheering each other along the road to a more peaceful, positive life. Oh, how we need neighbours that understand that causing distress to others is not the way forward. Thank you, Lily.

      With admiration and peaceful wishes, your way, Gary xx

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  21. Glad Penny was around - again. She's always saving the day! We humans nearly as good at putting things into the proper perspective.

    Turning those negative into positives isn't always easy. It takes a lot of concerted effort. Thankfully, with practice, it does get easier. Thanks for the reminder! :)

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    1. Hi Jemi,

      Penny to the rescue! :) She demonstrates a 'pawsitive pawspective':)

      Indeed, my friend, finding the positive out of a negative can be a most daunting task. The effort is certainly worth it. I shudder at the thought of the alternative. Thank you, Jemi. Take care, eh :) Sorry couldn't resist....

      Positive wishes, your way, Gary

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  22. Uplifting post!

    It must take a lot of strength to look back on your experiences and find the positive in them--and an enormous amount to have made it through the experiences themselves.

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    1. Hi The Golden Eagle,

      I'm heartened by that. Thank you.

      To move through and onwards from negative experiences and transform them into a profound positive experience, takes much inner fortitude. I am thankful I rediscovered me and managed to continue along the positive pathway. Thank you, my young friend. You and your inspiration are an integral part of a more hopeful future.

      In peace and fulfilling writing, your way, Gary

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  23. Inspirational, Gary! Thank you for this!

    "From chaos comes clarity!"

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    1. Hi Aaron,

      I am most encouraged by what you have noted. Please continue to share your candid and transparent verbalisation on your superbly written site.

      Indeed, I sure know that quote you refer to. And of course, this posting had that theme.

      Stay positive and keep smiling, my friend.

      Gary

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  24. Gary, I am inspired by your strength and ability to look within and see what is going on. I do believe that living a positive life is very important, and this is what my intent is everyday. However, sometimes it is just important to feel and be honest and allow the emotions to have a voice. I find being truthful a very positive action. What I find effective when I feel my shadow wanting to destroy all the good that I have built is too just witness what my mind is saying to me. Be the observer for then we can just be with the negativity and we no longer fight it or push it away. All it wants is to have attention and when we give it time then it usually leaves quickly. I hope I'm making sense. Sending you all the best energy that the Universe has to offer.

    Big hug from Victoria,
    Suzanne

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    1. Hi Suzanne Bean,

      I thank you most kindly for your wise words. I know that my "inner critic", the negative chatter, tells lies. Through such open, transparent verbalisation, we can try to make sense and find that positive out of what could of overwhelmed us with negative energy.

      Your eloquent articulation is profound. We cannot allow the negative attention seeking aspects of our lives, permission to sabotage our right to a peaceful, fulfilling life. You are a marvel, Suzanne and I'm grateful to know you. You made a lot of sense :)

      I warmly accept that positive energy from the Universe and may such energy continue to immerse your soul. Thank you, Suzanne.

      Big hug from Leek, and no, I'm not meaning a hug from an onion! :)

      In peace and goodwill, Gary

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  25. I really admire you for overcoming so many obstacles in your life. You are a true inspiration Gary, and Penny is a treasured Guide Dog! Julie

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    1. Hi Julie,

      Thank you, Julie. I hope that my approach to situations can inspire others to see that they can seek alternatives and turn a negative into a positive. Penny is one clever dog! :) Her guidance is cherished.

      All the best to you, Julie.

      In peace and positive wishes, your way, Gary

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  26. It is all about perspective and you and Penny did the right thing in talking it out. Good job Gary!

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    1. Hi Ray,

      Thank you. It was nice to have Penny make me see another um, 'pawspective' :)

      Cheers, Ray.

      Peace be with you, Gary

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  27. I enjoyed the little dialogue interaction you and Penny had going on. It's true. I have thought, of times in the past, how a negative event was turned into a positive one.

    I'm really glad that you got a second opinion and all is well with Penny now. You're right about that, too. Because of that event, you and your son really bonded and showed how much your combined family, animal and humans, really means. In truth, though, I think most caring pet owners think of their pets as companions and friends. Sometimes it take reminders, big and small, to realize it.

    Sometimes... they, the negatives which you spoke of, aren't obvious until you think about them for awhile, either. If everyone took a few moments to contemplate past events in their lives, I bet they would come up with something.

    Great post.

    Take care, Gary

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    1. Hi Kelly,

      Glad you enjoyed the dialogue I had with Penny. It's good to take advantage of a negative and turn it into a positive. Or think about how we could take away a particular negative situation and take away its power.

      Oh yes, that was a time of extreme emotions. We knew that something didn't seem right with the first vet's diagnosis and that second opinion confirmed a very different outlook. What we experienced brought out the unity and the love that my son share with Penny and each other. Our animals, as you know, are cherished family members.

      Thank you, Kelly and I hope it got people who might feel overwhelmed with a negative situation, try and work it through and see if they can turn it into a positive.

      May you have a peaceful weekend, my friend.

      In peace and hope, your way, Gary

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  28. That dog is brilliant, Gary, and a good friend. Reframing challenges is so smart -- and so often illuminating. The dark can certainly over-ride the light at times. Good for you that the dog encouraged another perspective.

    "Hello!" from Minneapolis,

    Pearl

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    1. Hi Pearl,

      Delighted to see your good self. Ah yes, Penny is wise dog, a loving dog and such a good friend to my son and I.

      For sure, to try and see how you can transform an negative into positive can create such a inspirational revelation. Penny's pawfound pawspective was truly wondrous :)

      Have a lovely weekend in Minneapolis. And my favourite NFL team are the Minnesota Vikings! :)

      All the best from Leek, England. Yes, Leek, because I always wanted to live in a town named after an onion.

      Stay positive and keep smiling, Gary

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  29. Darn! You just reminded me of two things. One: The job I ADORED was overtaken by a savagely cruel boss who made my life a living hell. To this day, I still rehash what I should have said, should have done, when he lunged over his desk at me - a woman. But I politely resigned and quietly left, six months before my pension was to kick in. Sometimes I find it nearly impossible to live with what he did to me, and what I didn't do to HIM.

    TWO: Stud moved me to a strange place with no friends or family, and after a year of resenting him for it, I've adjusted, adapted, and overcome.

    And guess which one of these I still harbor in my heart. Yep.

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    1. Hi lotta joy,

      I know, a bit after the awful fact, but over here and I don't know how it works there, I would have taken the sick bastard to an industrial tribunal and sued the pants off of him! Then again, I should of done the same thing in regards to my job. Instead, I went on sick leave, never to return.

      Why do we let the assholes of the world get away with it? I know I did because I was too ill to fight back. I know you are trying to move on from that. I guess, if possible, any action by you now would be anxiety inducing reminder of the hell you went through.

      You've adapted to your new place and any resentment you felt towards Stud has diminished. A positive outcome from what started as a negative. As for that scum bag boss, maybe he will get what he deserves. And you, maybe somehow, can get some modicum of satisfaction.

      Sorry, crap response.

      Try and take care,

      Gary

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  30. Hi Gary - so much here for so many .. a great post with so many heartfelt comments ... out of adversity comes joy - it sounds like your new project is the way forward and I guess will incorporate your move ... life just has a way of letting us know there's a reason for everything .... I just feel you, Tristan and Penny have much to offer us in our worlds - let there be light and peace (most importantly) soon in your world ... many thoughts - Hilary

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    1. Hi Hilary,

      Maintaining that positive focus, that visualisation of a better life, can seem most daunting. More than ever, we find we must move onto a new life and a fresh start.

      Your supportive words to us are greatly accepted. May positivity and fulfilment immerse your life.

      Thank you, Hilary.

      Gary and yes indeed, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! :)

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  31. My second marriage was heading in a very negative direction, so I turned that around, well we both did, by getting divorced and now we are better friends. Even better he is seeing a counsellor on a regular basis and actually listening to what she has to say, as he says, it's just what I tried to tell him for years. so he is getting some help although there is a very long road ahead for him and there are issues I think he will never open up to.

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    1. Hi River,

      It's heartening to read that some positive aspects came out of your divorce. Sometimes it takes drastic measures to create a more understanding outcome. I hope your former husband continues to make progress with the reflective interaction with his counsellor.

      Wishing you both a better, happier future.

      Thank you, River.

      Kind wishes, your way, Gary

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  32. What an encouraging post! When life hands us a truckload of crapola, the best thing we can do is use it to fertilize a new flower garden. Ain't easy, but it's definitely worth the effort. Great job.

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    1. Hi Susan,

      Thank you very much for commenting on this now archived posting. It was inspiring to have Penny get me to think things through and see the positives out of the negatives. At this rate, I might just have the most colourful flowers where I live :) Hard work to be positive and yes, the alternative is a place I do not want to visit again.

      Thank you, Susan.

      In kindness and gratitude, Gary

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I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.