Greetings friend, in my previous post, Recognising Our Validity, I discussed the subject of self-esteem and how you evaluated your own life. If your self-esteem has you feeling good about your life and those you interact with, the following can be considered positive reinforcement. If you are struggling and are experiencing low-esteem, due to a number of environmental factors, the following may help inspire you to have the determination to make some choices for the benefit of your overall well being.
Positive Resources And Distractions To Improve Self-Esteem.
. Identify and accept your strengths and weaknesses. We all have them.
. Set yourself realistic goals and accomplish them by acquiring new skills.
. Be good to yourself. Thinking of others is wonderful, but not at the cost of your own personal wants and needs. This is not selfish, but a chance to look after your well being.
. Be happy in your own company and focus on positive distractions.
. Reinforce your right to say 'no'.
. Realise a 'can-do' approach to help develop and work on your personal goals and aspirations.
. Take pride in who you are. Delve into, acknowledge and appreciate your own personal differences, talents and achievements. Take pride in your accomplishments, both big and small.
. Accept and and learn from your mistakes. Do not overreact to your mistakes and become disillusioned by them. See mistakes not as a barrier, but an opportunity, a chance to grow and improve your life. Do not be discouraged by mistakes. Try to find the less serious side of an error.
. Remove negative 'self-talk', the negative 'inner critic' and replace such thinking with positive statements that validate your right to be happy.
. Practice positive affirmations. Reinforce them whenever you are having those moments of despair or for positive reinforcement. Everyday and in every way, you are getting better and better.
. If you experience rejection, step back and try and look at it from a different perspective. Try not to take it personally.
. Involve yourself with people who are conducive to a positive, healthy environment. Try to distance yourself from negative people who would undermine you, rather than respect your validity.
. Know that your personal rights, your opinions, your beliefs and ideas are just as credible as any other person.
To summarise, remember this is your life and you have the right to live it in a peaceful, positive, fulfilling way. An honest assessment of your life and what you wish to do to make adjustments, are there for the taking.
If you are content with your self-esteem, that is most encouraging, May you continue to realise a positive life and be of help to those who need some comfort. If you are struggling with low self-esteem, I hope some of the above points and some you can come up with yourself, are of inspirational value.
Klahanie Blog. Celebrating the all different, all equal diversity we share. Help each other, we help ourselves. Header photo: Penny roaming free in a field, with The Roaches, near Leek Staffordshire, in the background.
Excellent tips, Gary! Well, you do know your stuff when it comes to psychology. Definitely avoid the negative people. Like crabs in a bucket, they just pull each other down. I just try to avoid the grumpy, unhappy people in this world.
ReplyDeleteHi Alex,
DeleteThanks Alex and great analogy. Best to stay clear of those who are determined to bring us down. I'm staying well away from that bucket!
All the best to you, Gary
Excellent post and very helpful tips. A lot can be saved if we remember all of these points and tell parents of young people, to teach their children about positive attitude.
ReplyDeleteWhile positive attitude is really needed it is better to listen to people who are talking negative, wait until they have vented out then advise them about being positive. I have noticed that young people like to talk about their parents with some one else because their parents would not listen. I do listen to people who want to talk, making it clear that I am in no position to advise them, then tell them what I would do if I were in their situation.
Hi Munir,
DeleteThank you. Good point about parents instilling a positive attitude in their children.
Your personal interaction is most noteworthy. I do know some people are determined to be negative and think that everybody is out to get them. When somebody finally has had enough of their incessant negativity and leaves them to it, it confirms to them that the world doesn't care. Thank you for your rational, balanced take on this.
All the best to you, Gary
Boo-yah! You hit all the key points. A low self-image is just a downward spiral and we have to put on the brakes and start climbing out of that hole on our own.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a book called Overcoming Obstacles with Spunk, so I can totally relate to everything here. I just wish more people could just see the positive in themselves. And others.
Hi L. Diane Wolfe,
DeleteIndeed, of course when we start climbing out that hole, we can reach out to those who want to give us a helping hand in a positive environment.
I'm liking the title to your book. And thus a positive environment starts from within. Positivity breeds positivity. Thank you.
All the best, Gary
Thank you for this encouraging and positive post! I especially hold true the points about walking away from inner negativity and negative people and environment. Take care
ReplyDeletex
Hi Old Kitty,
DeleteYou are very welcome. And I know how much you embrace a positive environment and distance yourself from negative influences.
All the best, Gary
x
These are all great points Gary! It's tough to find the right balance of self-esteem. While some people are drowning in it and feel entitled, others are willing to put themselves in compromising positions for the chance to be accepted. I hope this reaches a large audience, as this is so important. Julie
ReplyDeleteHi Julie,
DeleteI appreciate that. It is so much about finding the right balance in our lives that gives a sense of contentment, rather than resentment. I am heartened by your comment, Julie.
All the best, Gary
Self esteem...easier said than done. I hope I can put some of your helpful hints to good use.
ReplyDeleteHi Delores,
DeleteOh yes, mere words on a computer screen can seem daunting to put into practice. I do struggle with it and I so hope you have some inspiration from it all. Thank you, Delores.
All the best, Gary
What a great post! Thank you for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteHi Danielle,
DeleteVery kind of you to say and I'm glad to share this information.
Thank you, Danielle.
All the best, Gary
Such good advice, Gary!
ReplyDeleteNot taking rejection personally is so important.
Jai
Hi Jai,
DeleteThank you for saying that.
A difficult one, but trying not to take rejection so personally, is important. Thank you, Jai.
All the best, Gary
You've provided a comprehensive overview for improving one's self esteem, Gary. What could be more important to an individual, or to the health of society as a whole, than positive self esteem?
ReplyDeleteHi Kim,
DeleteThank you, Kim. In a sharing, caring, non-judgemental society, we would see the self-esteem of so many, improve in a most inspiring way.
All the best, Gary
The bullet points you make are very helpful and can certainly help when evaluating and improving one's self-esteem.
ReplyDeleteHi Angela,
DeleteThank you for that. Indeed, it can help evaluate what needs to change or reinforce how well one is doing. Thank you, Angela.
All the best, Gary
I have a question about this one: Know that your personal rights, your opinions, your beliefs and ideas are just as credible as any other person.
ReplyDeleteOther people are always voicing their opinions, beliefs and ideas as if they are the holy grail of all opinions, beliefs and ideas.
I keep my opinions, beliefs and ideas to myself. Is that self-doubt or being self-assured? I see no reason in hashing out differing opinions.
Hi lotta joy,
DeleteObviously not all people are voicing their opinions, beliefs and ideas on others. You aren't. What this is about is whether you wish to state what you feel in a calm, controlled manner. If you do not wish to express your opinions, beliefs and ideas, that is totally respected. You are the expert on yourself. Only you can answer if you have self-doubt or are self-assured.
I am not a well man. I post up such articles to try and be of some comfort to others. I hope there were some positive aspects to this article that you found of benefit. That is all I wish. Thank you, lotta joy.
All the best, Gary
Negative self talk and the inability to say no are only two of the things from this very helpful post that I will be working on. Thank you Gary. I am so grateful that you are constantly creating positives for people who suffer the same demons you have faced. And probably still face on bad days.
ReplyDeleteHi The Elephant's Child,
DeleteI am truly encouraged that you have considered this post to have been of benefit. I battle with my 'inner critic' which promotes the negative self-talk. And learning to say no without the unwarranted guilt, is one I also continue to work on.
I do try to display positivity to those who may be facing similar demons. I share that powerful gift of empathy. I am grateful for your inspiring interaction. Thank you.
All the best, Gary
I needed to read this post today, Gary, thank you. Particularly points 3 and 5. I often feel weighed down by others problems and needs. I need to learn I am not responsible for everyone else all the time. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and spreading positivity.
ReplyDeleteHi Suzanne,
DeleteAnd Suzanne, thank you. Exactly! Others need to take responsibility for their lives. You do not need that extra burden. Learning to say no and looking after YOU. Be good to yourself, Suzanne :)
All the best, Gary
Thank you for this, Gary. I know all these points are important and need to be read often. If not sometimes life gets complicated and we forget there are answers. Have a wonderful Halloween.
ReplyDeleteHi Joylene,
DeletePositive reinforcement and taking time out from the complications and stresses of life, to find some inspiration to keep us focused on that better life. Thank you, Joylene. Halloween was very quiet. No trick or treaters knocking on my door. Oh well, all the treats are mine, all mine! Okay, Tristan can have some of the treats! Happy Halloween to you, eh! And I bet you miss hockey!
All the best, Gary
Hello Gary:
ReplyDeleteA saying of the Dalai Lama which we hold dear is, in relation to why so many people in the 'West'suffer from depression, 'they dislike themselves so much' To love oneself is the cornerstone of a happy and fulfilling life we believe and the points you make here offer very sound advice in achieving just that.
May all your tricks be treats this Halloween. Have fun!
Hello Jane and Lance,
DeleteAh yes and the Dalai Lama might add that to love oneself starts from creating a positive environment from within. Of course, these days, the onslaught of an overwhelming negative environment can cause people to experience depressive tendencies. I do so hope that what I'm trying to convey will be of positive value to those who are in pain and even further positive reinforcement to those who are doing well.
I do so hope you had a lovely Halloween. I reckon you went to some gala Halloween ball!
All the best, Gary
Such an important topic with major ramifications. Excellent tips!
ReplyDeleteHi Jeff,
DeleteIndeed, my friend, a topic that is vital to the well being of all. I appreciate what you note. Thank you, Jeff.
All the best, Gary
If anyone takes demons and makes demonade, it's you.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't forget to enjoy yourself along the way.
Laura
x
Hi Laura,
DeleteIndeed, along with a few ice cubes and a cute little umbrella for the side of the glass! :)
Thanks and my enjoyment is in hoping that my genuine caring is inspiration for others to realise a better, happier life. Thank you, Laura.
All the best, Gary
x
I need to print this out and refer to it on a regular basis! Thank you! oxoxxoxo
ReplyDeleteHi Caren,
DeleteWow! That's awesome and inspiring. Thank you! oxo and :)!
In hope and happiness, your way, Gary
Hi Gary,
ReplyDeleteMy self-esteem used to be quite high, whilst I have never been arrogant, I used to feel fairly 'good' about myself. Then, I lost my job and my wife in the space of 2 days and it all went wrong from then on! (I hasten to add that she didn't die, she left me). I have since found a very loving, caring and beautiful lady who has since become my wife and for that I am grateful, but this hasn't stopped me from having very dark days, where all I do is wrong (even if it isn't) and all I see and feel is pain. I have the love and support of my family and the days are a bit brighter, but I still struggle in a pit of despair! Your blog and the care and compassion you have for your fellow man is awe inspiring, even after all you have been through, if I can harness any of your positive energy, it will be a bonus.
Thank you Gary, your friend,
J
Please visit my blog 'Fragments of the Past'
Hi John,
DeleteYour self-esteem can take quite the battering when your positive environment is torn apart at the seams. It's heartening to know, despite a time where you could of quite easily immersed yourself in world of feeling constantly down, you focus on all you have to be grateful for. Of course, I know of such dark days and the light beyond that dark is obscured by gloomy thoughts.
What is so positive about this is that you have in place a loving, caring support system. Most vital that we find all the support, the resources, the distractions we can to try and maintain that healthy, fulfilling balance.
I think of such postings as sharing, caring interaction. I know it causes debate and even views that would not agree with what I have noted. Still, that's the beauty of diversity. I really do my best to be there for others and in turn, they are here for me. I'm grateful to you, my friend. You cherish the wonders of nature and I know in those times of despair, they inspire you.
Positive wishes and a peaceful weekend to you.
Gary
Hi Gary (and Penny).
ReplyDeleteLooks as if it's all been said... thank you for sharing this treasure!
Take care, Dixie
Hi Dixie,
DeletePenny says hello before she goes for a nap :) I'm glad this displayed some positive focus. And thank you for being a treasure, Dixie.
May you have a most upbeat and positive weekend.
Gary
Greetings Gary, and well said, you help many folks methinks with your writing and tis a pleasure to read too. Take care :)
ReplyDeleteGreetings All Consuming,
DeleteAh fair maiden, you doth bestow such words of radiant encouragement. Methinks tis but a pleasure for thine is words of wondrous enchantment.
May thou have thee finest of end of week festivities.
Gary :)
Dear Gary,
ReplyDeleteI think my self-esteem is OK at the moment. It is, at least, a lot better than it was in the sad old, bad old, mad old days. It is difficult to be assertive, though, and you give some good advice.
Take care and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Very Best Wishes,
David.
P.S. Thank you for your concern over my own recent tribulations. As you have now received the dreaded reassessment form yourself, maybe I can help you out with it.
Dear David,
DeleteBased on what I perceive from you, my fine friend, your self-esteem seems remarkably resilient. Much respect for that. Assertion skills can be difficult to use when one might be thinking that assertion may encounter unreasonable confrontation. I know that a charming demeanour with a bit of humour, usually works for me. And then there's those awful neighbours of mine...
Of course, you have now been delighted with that phone call from my shy and humble self. I'm staying realistically positive that the outcome to both our ongoing situations, will be a fair and satisfying one.
Have a good weekend, David and remember, if you ever need to talk, I'm just a phone call away.
Gary
I am a happy person- and often told how lucky I am by less happy folks- I tell them that mostly people can choose to be happy but it's not always the easiest choice. Breaking negative cycles is dedicated work. Your posts are very helpful, they give a group effort flavour to getting happy, if that makes sense? It can be easier to find strength when feeling supported- less energy diverted to protecting oneself, I think.
ReplyDeleteHi Lily,
DeleteYou are absolutely spot on with what you note. Life, despite what seem like insurmountable odds, is about choices. And yes, breaking the negative cycle can be darned hard work. Yet, as you know, the hard work is worth it. I have been immersed in a very dark world. A world I am determined to never visit again.
You make excellent sense. A group effort through positive interaction. Sharing our views, our highs and lows, within boundaries that people are comfortable with, are one heck of an inspirational tonic for a better reality for all of us. When we help each other, we help ourselves. Thank you, Lily.
May you and your loved ones have a most happy weekend.
Gary
It's always been much easier for me to give than to receive, and to take care of others, rather than take care of myself, or let someone else take care of me. I wonder if that isn't kind of a universal thing? If it were, that might not be so bad, ya know? If we were all trying to take care of each other, the world might be a better place. Still, it would be awesome to have a strong sense of self. Thanks for another thought-provoking post.
ReplyDeleteHi Susan,
ReplyDeleteI have always considered myself to be much like you and altruism is a fine attribute. What I have also learnt, and yes I struggle with the concept, is that I have to look after myself and in turn, I am better able to look after others. In an ideal world, we truly are all here for each other. Yes, when we help each other, we help ourselves.
A healthy sense of self-worth is akin to a better world. Thank you, Susan.
In kindness and respect, your way, Gary